Birthday Blues

by Karen English

  "Guess what Antonia is?" Deja says to Nikki as they walk down Fulton Street.

  "What?" Nikki asks.

  "Miss Ida says she's my nemesissis."

  "What's that?"

  "Someone who's super jealous of another person."

  "Really?" Nikki says.

  Deja nods her head, and thinks, Well, it kind of means that.

  As soon as Deja and Nikki get to school, they discover that the whole class—the girls, at least—is abuzz over Antonia's "just because" party. Ms. Shelby has to squelch excited whispers that keep popping up during Spelling Wizard activities.

  Then, during silent reading, a note gets passed to Deja. Each girl has written down her name and what she's planning to wear to the party. It's at just that moment that Ms. Shelby walks over to Deja, plucks the note off her desk, and holds it up to the class. She reads each name and what that person plans to wear, then says, as she tears the paper neatly in half, "If I come across any more of this during class time, the girls in this room will be spending their recess on the bench." She looks around. "All week."

  Deja's mouth drops open. She and Nikki look at each other. It would be so unfair to get punished for something they've got nothing to do with. It would be nice to see all the girls get punished for acting silly and disloyal and not even mentioning her invitation, but she doesn't want to be included.

  Deja makes a mental note. Every girl in her class is just ignoring her invitation. It's almost as if she hasn't even given them out. Well, if they're not going to say anything, she's not, either. So there.

  At late recess it's Nikki's turn to be in charge of the long rope. Once out on the yard, Nikki and Deja run to their favorite spot under the big tree next to the chainlink fence. It's out of the sun and away from the boys. Half the girls from their class run behind them to line up for jump rope.

  "I'll be a turner," Deja announces. "Nikki, get the other end." Deja doesn't want half their recess time taken up with a stupid argument about who is going to turn. The line that forms is long, but she knows she's going to go after Tina, the last girl in line.

  "Mabel, Mabel, set the table and don't forget the red-hot pepper!"

  On "pepper," she and Nikki turn the rope as fast as they can. The game is designed to make it hard for the jumper without pulling the rope. She and Nikki are able to get several jumpers out. It's such fun that she forgets all about Antonia's last-minute copycat party. In fact, she's suddenly sure that all of the girls in Ms. Shelby's class like her much better than Antonia and will choose her party after all.

  When the second bell rings, she and Nikki run toward the line to help their class be ready to be dismissed to their classroom first. Suddenly, Nikki bends down and picks up something off the ground. She looks at it and shoves it into her pocket, but not before Deja sees her do it.

  "What's that?"

  "What?" Nikki says.

  "That thing you put in your pocket."

  "Nothing."

  Deja holds out her hand. "Let me see it, Nikki."

  Nikki reaches into her pocket slowly. She pulls out the note and hands it to Deja.

  It's a note between Melinda and Rosario. Melinda wrote:

  I can't wait until Saturday

  and Antonia's party!

  What about you?

  Then Rosario had written back:

  I'm going to skate the whole time.

  Because I know how to turn now.

  I'll teach you how.

  It was probably a note they'd been passing back and forth in class. One of them had dropped it on the playground without even noticing. Deja puts it in her own pocket and walks on ahead of Nikki. She has nothing to say.

  "Deja, come on," Nikki says, walking fast to catch up.

  "See? I told you Antonia was my nemesissis," Deja says.

  Nikki returns the jump rope to the ball cabinet and they go to their seats, and then the worst thing happens. There's a small white envelope on Deja's desk. She looks around, wondering who put it there. She opens it up and reads the scribbled note across the top of the invitation:

  You and Nikki can come too if you want.

  Antonia is inviting them to her "just because" party. Deja frowns and turns to look at Antonia, but Antonia has already taken out her math journal and begun working on the Problem of the Day posted on the white board. Deja looks over at Nikki. Nikki's working on it as well. She feels complete bewilderment. She doesn't know what to think. She reaches into her desk to take out her math journal. She doesn't want Ms. Shelby to think she's one of those "certain people" who has trouble getting on task in a timely fashion.

  9. Miss Ida Explains the World

  They make a good assembly line, Miss Ida says, once they get going with the dishing out and snapping the lids on.

  "Miss Ida," Deja says, "that girl I was telling you about—she gave me an invitation to her party."

  Miss Ida chuckles. "Oh, little girls, little girls.... They learn such cleverness at such an early age."

  Deja doesn't know what to make of that. It's been a truly puzzling day. First, no one saying anything about her invitations. And then finding that note on the yard. And getting that invitation from Antonia. She decides to think about something else—something completely different, something she's been wondering and waiting for the right moment to ask about.

  "Miss Ida, did you know my Auntie Dee when she was a little girl?" Miss Ida has lived on Fulton Street ever since Deja can remember. Maybe she lived there when Auntie Dee was little, and Deja's daddy was even littler. When Grandma Kate was still alive and before Paw Paw had to move in with Uncle Bill and Aunt Mildred.

  "I remember your Auntie Dee when she was a little bitty thing," Miss Ida replies.

  Deja finds it hard to imagine Auntie Dee little. Deja wants to ask another thing, but she thinks better of it. She really wants to ask Miss Ida if she thinks her daddy will come to her party, but she keeps her mouth closed. She doesn't know why.

  "Now, see, some of these folks have nobody to come visit them and we're the highlight of their week," Miss Ida says as they go up the walkway of the first shut-in. "This shut-in, Mr. Peeples, he doesn't like change. Not at all. It'd be fine with him if things just stayed the same forever."

  Deja looks at the shut-in's house. It looks like a house of someone who is shut in. Miss Ida's told her that Mr. Peeples lives all alone, with just a cat and a parrot. His house sits back from the sidewalk and has a long, deep covered porch hidden behind a screen. Miss Ida starts up the walkway, but Deja hangs back. The clapboard front is dark and scary. Also, there is a pile of newspapers covering the front steps. It looks spooky.

  Miss Ida reaches back and grabs Deja by the hand. She pulls her along. "Whatcha dawdling for? We can't take all day."

  Miss Ida knocks on the shaky screen door, then rattles the handle. "Come on, Mr. Peeples. Open up. You know you love my chili. Come on, don't be ornery."

  "No one's being ornery," Mr. Peeples says as he opens the door, then looks down at Deja. "Who you got here?"

  "My little neighbor. Now let us in."

  Mr. Peeples's living room is dark enough to need a lamp turned on, too, just like Miss Ida's. Deja wonders why old people don't like sunlight. She plans to ask Nikki if she's ever noticed this.

  "What did you have for breakfast?" Miss Ida asks. She goes to the buffet in the dining area and pulls open a drawer. She gets out a place mat and a napkin. She opens another drawer and gets out a spoon. She's explained to Deja that Mr. Peeples's wife has passed recently but he keeps everything the same, as if she is going to come home any minute.

  Mr. Peeples says nothing. He walks over to the dining room table and takes a seat. Suddenly, a fat orange cat trots into the room and leaps onto the table. It settles down next to the chili Miss Ida has put in a bowl.

  Auntie Dee sure wouldn't allow a cat on the table, Deja thinks.

  "What's your name?" Mr. Peeples asks.

  "Deja."

  "How old are you, Deja?"

&nb
sp; "I'll be eight on Saturday. It's my birthday."

  "Aah, you got a birthday comin' up." He smiles and the orange cat yawns. "So what are your plans?"

  "I'm having a party, but nobody's coming." Except maybe my daddy, she thinks, and it feels like she has a secret.

  "Why is no one coming?"

  "Because they're going to this other girl's party. This girl named Antonia."

  "You mean they're going to skip yours and go to hers?"

  "Nobody is even saying anything about my invitation. So I'm not going to say anything, neither."

  "Like a standoff," Mr. Peeples says.

  Deja doesn't know exactly what that is, but it sounds right. "Yeah, like a standoff," she says.

  Mr. Peeples squints his eyes. He looks at Deja for a long moment. "I'm sure someone's going to show up."

  The way Mr. Peeples says that, Deja wonders if he's talking about her daddy. But why would he? He doesn't even know her daddy. Nikki will be there, of course.... But two's not a party.

  The next shut-in is Mrs. Lutz. She lives in a small apartment over the cleaners. She is hard of hearing, so it takes a long time for her to come to the door, too. Miss Ida has to say everything twice because Mrs. Lutz hardly ever wears her hearing aid. She says it whistles. She never knows when it is going to whistle because it does it when it wants to.

  "See, now, Mrs. Lutz, she's stubborn, and her stubbornness causes her to make things hard for herself. She could always get that hearing aid fixed," Miss Ida says once they've left the apartment. "Deja, take my advice. Don't develop stubbornness. It makes life difficult."

  Deja doesn't think she's stubborn. But then, remembering how she put off cleaning her bedroom, she decides maybe she is, a little bit.

  ***

  Miss Maple is the last shut-in. She spends a lot of time on her front porch watching the comings and goings of her neighbors. She's the most interesting, with her tidbits about the people who live around her. "I ain't nosy, mind you. I'm concerned. I'm kind of like a neighborhood watch all by myself." She directs Miss Ida to put the chili in the refrigerator. "I'll get to it later, Ida," she says of the chili. "How would you-all like some homemade fudge?"

  The three of them sit on the porch swing and watch Miss Maple's street with her. Every once in a while, Miss Maple makes a comment about this neighbor or that. She knows interesting stuff, and Deja could sit on her porch all day. It's actually better than TV—especially when Miss Maple brings out the platter of her homemade fudge.

  Too bad Nikki's not here, Deja thinks. Fudge is her second-favorite food, after chocolate-chip cookies.

  All this visiting shut-ins makes the afternoon go by faster—and the time when Auntie Dee will be returning that much closer. Deja knows that when she wakes up it will be just one more day until Auntie Dee picks her up. Just a little while until she'll see if anyone is coming to her birthday party after all, and ... if her daddy is coming.

  Happily, Miss Ida has prepared something yummy for dinner. As a treat, she sets up the meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob on TV trays in the living room. She turns on the old black-and-white TV, and they watch the news while they eat. Deja looks down at her plate. Not one green vegetable. Auntie Dee would never have prepared such a meal. But isn't it nice to eat like this every once in a while?

  One thing about Miss Ida—she loves to talk to the television. A lost dog has walked all the way from campgrounds by a lake to its home. Eighty-three miles, and he knew just how to get there! Miss Ida claps and whistles and says, "You are one smart dog! Yes, you are!"

  While Miss Ida goes out to the kitchen to get two slices of the before-the-birthday birthday cake, a man comes on and talks about how they should raise taxes for something. Deja can't figure out what he's saying. "I'd like to see you live on a fixed income, mister," Miss Ida says, returning with the cake. Then she lists all the stuff she has to pay for on her fixed income.

  Deja takes a big bite, and with a mouthful of yummy cake she asks, "What's a fixed income?"

  "It's money you have to live on. And it stays the same amount, no matter what."

  Deja still doesn't understand it, but she knows it isn't anything she has to understand, yet. She looks over at Miss Ida. It hasn't been so bad spending the past three days with her. It had seemed like a long time at first. Now it seems like just a short time has passed.

  After she brushes her teeth and says her prayers, she climbs into bed and lies there a long time, thinking. She plans to ask Auntie Dee straight out if her daddy is coming for her birthday or not. She wonders what Auntie Dee will say. She wonders if Auntie Dee even knows.

  Deja also decides that the next time Auntie Dee has to go out of town and she can't stay at Nikki's, she'd like to come back and stay with Miss Ida. For one thing, she makes really good before-the-birthday birthday cake. Deja had two big pieces.

  10. Life Back to Normal—Kind of

  Deja sits on her own porch, waiting for the cab that will bring Auntie Dee home. She's glad it's Friday after school. She's glad she doesn't have to hear everybody whispering about Antonia's party anymore. Rosario and Melinda had the nerve to walk up to her at recess and ask her if she was coming to Antonia's party. She turned around and walked the other way.

  Nikki, beside her, is busy writing in her notebook. "What's that?" Deja asks finally.

  "I'm listing all the stuff we can do at your birthday party tomorrow."

  "It's only going to be the two of us, Nikki."

  "Well, we can still have some fun."

  "No, we can't. Everything is ruined." Deja sighs. "All I want is for it to hurry up and be over."

  Nikki continues her writing, and Deja continues watching the corner, waiting for the cab to turn onto their street. When it does—slowly driving down Fulton—Deja jumps up and does a little dance. Auntie Dee is back!

  "Auntie Dee!" Deja runs crashing into her arms before she can even pay the driver.

  "My goodness, Deja. I haven't been gone that long."

  "It seemed like forever."

  Deja grabs Auntie's bag by one handle and Nikki grabs the other. They walk with her into the house.

  "Ready for the big day tomorrow?" Auntie Dee asks. Deja shrugs, but Auntie seems not to notice. She pulls back the drapes to let some sunlight into the darkened living room. Deja smiles. It is good to get back to sunny rooms.

  After Nikki's mom calls her home for dinner and Auntie Dee has come back from Miss Ida's to thank her and offer her some payment (which Miss Ida refuses), Auntie orders pizza to celebrate being home. "So you think no one is coming tomorrow?" she asks Deja. When Auntie Dee had called the night before, Deja told her about the no RSVPs and how everyone was going to Antonia's and how Antonia had even asked her, Deja, to her party. "Don't worry," she'd said to Deja. "I'll see what I can do."

  They're sitting at the coffee table, eating off paper plates. Deja loves when they eat pizza this way. It's more fun than sitting at the table in the kitchen.

  "Antonia's party is going to be better."

  "Well," Auntie Dee says. She looks as if she is thinking—hard. "Maybe a small party will be better than you think. Maybe," she adds, as if she has something in mind. Deja looks at Auntie Dee carefully. Is she thinking about Deja's daddy coming? Is this the time to bring him up? They hardly ever talk about him. Auntie Dee always seems to change the subject when Deja mentions him. Deja knows she has to be careful.

  Deja takes a deep breath. "Auntie Dee?"

  "Yes, sweetheart?"

  "Do you think my daddy will show up for my birthday, since he didn't make it last year? Or the year before that?"

  Auntie doesn't answer right away. She stops eating and sighs. "Deja, I sent your daddy an invitation, but I haven't heard anything. I'm sorry, baby. Maybe he didn't get it. Perhaps where I sent it isn't his current address."

  Auntie Dee looks down, and Deja knows that Auntie doesn't believe that. What she believes is that her daddy isn't coming. "I'm thinking we won't see him," Auntie Dee says fi
nally. "I'm sorry."

  She looks at Deja closely, but Deja looks away. She doesn't know what Auntie Dee wants her to say. So he's not coming this year. Then he'll probably come next year. Yes. That will be better, actually. She doesn't want her daddy to see that she had a party and nobody came. "That's okay, Auntie Dee. He'll probably come for my ninth birthday. I can wait."

  In the moment of quiet that follows, Deja thinks about how far into the future next year seems. It's going to take so long to get to be nine.

  Later, after they've eaten the pizza and Deja has helped Auntie Dee unpack, Auntie Dee makes a few telephone calls to the mothers she knows from PTA. As she sits at the kitchen table talking, Deja sits on the couch combing her Barbie's hair and listening. It's so hard when things don't go the way you've been imagining them. So far, nothing is the way she thought it would be just five days ago.

  Now she hears: "Oh, yes. I see. No, no, I understand. Okay, maybe next time." It doesn't sound very good, not very promising. After she hangs up, she dials another number. Deja hears a better conversation from Auntie Dee's end. "Oh, great. Good. I'll see you tomorrow. Yes, at two."

  Auntie Dee hangs up and calls out, "Well, Sheila Sharpe is coming, after all."

  Sheila Sharpe!Deja thinks. Sheila Sharpe, who breathes through her mouth? That's who's coming to my party? Now she pictures herself and Nikki ... and Sheila Sharpe ... sitting at the dining room table in party hats. Not good.

  "Well," Auntie Dee says from the doorway. She claps her hands once. "It seems no one got your invitations, and they've already committed to going to the other party."