Cut Free (The Sublime Book 4)

by Julia Wolf

  Frannie clapped her hands together. “Done and done! We’ll go to the club Ryan and his friends took me to last year, then bar-hop until we drop. We could have a slumber party at my place so no one has to drive home.”

  “Will Ryan be joining us?” I asked.

  Ryan was James’ brother and one of Frannie’s best friends. He’d just gotten engaged to his boyfriend, Marcus, and was in the midst of his own wedding planning frenzy.

  “Yeah, and Marcus. And all the other usual suspects.”

  “I can’t believe her wedding is in two weeks. I really have to practice my songs. Charlie keeps distracting me,” I said.

  Frannie raised her brows. “Charlie, huh? His name seems to keep coming up.”

  I held my hands up. “We spend a lot of time together, that’s all.”

  “No banging?” Frannie asked. She was nothing if not blunt.

  I laughed. “No banging, Frannie!”

  “Well, why the hell not?”

  “We’re just friends. I do have a date with Alex tomorrow night, though.”

  After the awkwardness when Charlie brought me home from Wicked, we’d run together every day, but he’d been more quiet than usual. I hadn’t mentioned my impending date because I knew he wasn’t a fan of Alex and I didn’t want him to give me any shit. Plus, it just felt weird to talk to Charlie about another guy, since he was the current holder of my heart, even though he didn’t know it.

  “Did you eat all the sushi?” Rachel asked from the doorway.

  I waved her in. “Get in here, Rach. Frannie is going to town on the eel rolls.”

  Rachel waved her chopsticks at Frannie threateningly. “Back off the eel rolls.”

  Frannie pushed the platter toward her. “Eat! I don’t think you took a break today.”

  As Rachel put a piece of sushi in her mouth, I said, “That hair color correction you did was stunning. I didn’t think you’d be able to get all the green and blue out of her hair without frying it.”

  Frannie nodded. “I bow down to your skills.”

  Rachel giggled. “Friends don’t let friends put ash brown on their white-blonde hair. The results will only be terrifying.”

  “I marvel every day at how lucky I am to work with such talented women. Truly,” I said.

  Frannie smiled softly and placed her hand on mine. “Me too. You know it took me forever to find my place in the world and in this business, but you and Rachel are the shit.”

  I snorted in surprise. “The shit, huh? Is that like when Charlie said I was the bee’s knees?”

  “Oh, we’re talking about Charlie again, are we?” Frannie asked with a smirk.

  “He said you were the bee’s knees?” Rachel asked.

  I waved them off. “Yeah, it was part of a silly conversation we had about bringing old sayings back. It didn’t mean anything.”

  “Why are you so determined to think he’s not interested in you?” Rachel asked.

  I sighed slowly. “Because we’re together all the time. I’ve slept in his bed. We’ve hugged and held hands. I think if he was interested in anything beyond friendship, it would have happened. I’m not sitting around pining away for Charlie. Our friendship has become really important to me, and yes, I have feelings for him far beyond that, but I can’t force anything to happen unless he wants it too. I would hate to ruin what we have.”

  “Can I say one thing and then drop it?” Rachel asked.

  “Of course,” I said.

  “Is there a chance Charlie feels the same about you, but is worried about ruining your friendship too?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I like that theory,” agreed Frannie.

  “Where’s James when I need him to talk me down? Of course there’s a chance! Don’t you think I torture myself about that every time I’m with him?”

  I ran my hands through my hair, yanking on the ends in frustration.

  “Well, as I told Rachel a while ago, you are sublime, and any man would be a fool not to see that. I’m happy you’re getting out there, living your life, and dating. Alex is a pretty fine specimen,” Frannie said.

  I grinned. “He is, isn’t he? And thank you. You’re pretty damn sublime too.”

  “We’re just a trio of sublime women, aren’t we?” Rachel said, smiling.

  “We are pretty amazing,” Frannie said.

  I would never survive without these women. While my heart and body wanted a man to love, Frannie and Rachel were two of the loves of my life. They made me smile and lifted me up in a way I’d never experienced before I met them. The three of us had all been to hell and back, and sometimes I felt the universe brought us together as a reward for all the other shit we’d gone through.

  The sushi was eaten, the gossip was discussed, and the shop was quiet. Rachel was at the desk doing payroll while I mopped the wood floors. We had a weekly service that came in and scoured every edge and corner, but no one got it as clean as I did, and cleaning soothed me anyway.

  “I’m done for the night. Mind if I hit it?” Rachel called.

  “Yeah, I’m almost done too. See you tomorrow,” I said.

  I worked my way around the shop until the floors were shiny. My salon, my home, and my car were all scrubbed and polished within an inch of their lives. I hadn’t been a neat freak as a child, but I was a naturally tidy person. When I finally moved out of my parents’ house and in with Edward, my cleaning habits started taking over. Instead of fixating on the holes in my relationships, I got down on my knees and scrubbed the grout in the bathroom. Instead of standing up for myself when Edward made one belittling remark after another, I ironed the sheets and the curtains and every article of clothing I owned. Instead of really facing what my life was becoming, I covered it all up in lemon-scented polishing spray.

  After we’d broken up, the cleaning continued, but not as obsessively. I’d come to realize part of the reason I had become so ritualistic in my cleaning was because it gave me a sense of control over my environment and situation when I’d allowed it to be taken from me in most every other way.

  I’d gotten a lot better over the last couple months. I no longer stayed for two hours after the salon closed, polishing every surface and refolding towels. Sometimes, I even left for the evening when Rachel did. Only when I was upset or feeling unsure did I feel myself needing to scrub and scour until my hands were raw from chemicals.

  I didn’t want to give Charlie the credit for the change in me, because if he left for any reason, I desperately didn’t want to revert back to how things had been before. Although I knew he was a huge part of bringing me out of my fog, I liked to think I was responsible for keeping myself there.

  I locked up the salon and walked next door to my apartment, feeling optimistic. When I got to the top of the steps, I almost wasn’t surprised to see a slip of white paper peeking out from under my mat.

  Dear Miss Eliza,

  Don’t kill me! My sister called to remind me of my niece’s preschool play tomorrow morning, so I’m hightailing it to Virginia to spend the night with them. My niece is four and has the lead, so she’d never forgive me if I wasn’t there, cheering way too loud for her.

  I promise I’ll hit the treadmill when I get home. Deal? And since I can’t seem to go a day without my Eliza-fix and we both need to eat, would you do me the honor of having dinner with me? We can even go somewhere with the super-healthy (boring) food you like.

  Breathe for yes. You breathed, right? Awesome. You know how much I like your breaths. (Not breasts, jeez, get your mind out of the gutter!) I’ll see you tomorrow!

  Ever Yours,

  Charlie Hamada

  I sat down on the steps, reading and re-reading his note. Even this short little message made me miss him, and I’d just seen him that morning.

  As much as I was disappointed he wouldn’t be around tomorrow, it felt like a good thing I already had dinner plans with Alex. My heart needed that little bit of distance between us. Because as much as my head repeated Charlie is my friend, my hea
rt didn’t get the message and even just picturing his open, happy smile and warm brown eyes made it skip a beat.

  I flipped Charlie’s note over and fished a pen out of my purse. I could have texted him, but it seemed notes were our thing, and I wanted to keep up tradition.

  Dear Charlie,

  I won’t kill you this time. Your niece sounds like she’s got the attitude of a star already. May she have a long and successful career in the thea-tah!

  Unfortunately, I can’t accept your dinner invitation, as tempting as it was. I’m going on a date with Alex tomorrow night. I’m fully planning on being an awkward mess, so wish me luck!

  Yours,

  Eliza Goldberg xoxo

  I gave the note a kiss, leaving a light imprint of my shiny lip gloss, then took it across the street to Charlie’s doorstep. I leaned my head against his door for a beat. Even though I knew he wasn’t in there, I felt closer to him just standing outside his place.

  Yeah, this was a problem.

  Sixteen

  I decided to wear a dress.

  I rushed home from work, leaving Rachel to close up the salon, took a record-breaking fast shower, and changed into my new dress. I’d had a little bit of time between clients earlier, so I went into a boutique on Main Street and came out with a collection of summer dresses, none of which were black.

  My dress fell just above my knees, with a flirty, ruffled hem. The deep jade color felt daring, but I also knew it was a good shade for my coloring. Nothing was tight, but the spaghetti straps and bow in the back were flirty and fun.

  I felt good—cute.

  The concert had technically been a date, but tonight felt more official. He was going to pick me up and we’d be alone. I’d have to actually make conversation and be witty and charming. As cute as I felt, I almost wanted to change into leggings and a T-shirt and turn on Netflix.

  I went outside to wait for Alex before I could change my mind. He pulled up a minute later, and I slid into his car.

  He gave me a wide smile. “Hello there!”

  I smiled back. “Hey.”

  Alex was as handsome as ever in dark jeans and a pale blue button-down shirt. He looked like he’d just gotten out of the shower too, with his slightly damp hair and his spicy, soapy smell drifting across the car.

  “Hungry?” he asked.

  “I am. I went out and bought this dress instead of grabbing lunch,” I admitted.

  His eyes scanned over me. “As much as I’d rather you not skip lunch, you look gorgeous in that dress.”

  “Thank you, Alex. And you look very handsome tonight too.”

  I hated how stiff and formal I sounded, but damn, I was out of practice with this stuff.

  “There’s a really great farm-to-table restaurant nearby I’d love to take you to. How does that sound?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Really perfect.”

  We chatted on the drive about Alex’s job as a computer programmer and the area where he lived. He was Joe’s age, in his mid-thirties, and there was something about him that felt settled and grown-up. He’d been in the same job for several years, had been married and divorced, and he owned his own home and a vacation condo at the beach.

  The restaurant wasn’t very far from Tiber City, and it was across the street from a small farm. They were serious about being farm-to-table.

  “I think the farm Joe and Rachel are getting married at is close by,” I said once we were seated.

  He nodded. “I think you’re right.” He pointed to a dish on the menu. “The steak is really good here.”

  “Oh! Um, I don’t actually eat red meat. But thank you. Everything looks good,” I said.

  “No red meat, huh? Are you a health nut?”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Is that a bad thing?”

  He chuckled. “Not at all. You look amazing, so obviously your discipline works. Personally, I like a big juicy steak or burger every once in a while.”

  “Your splurge is steak and mine is cheesecake,” I said.

  He held his hands up. “Fair enough!”

  I ordered pan-seared oysters and a gin and tonic, and Alex, of course, ordered steak frites and a glass of red wine.

  “So, you really enjoyed that concert we all went to, huh?” he asked.

  I nodded. “I did. I guess I dig chick music.”

  He cringed again. “Yeah, that wasn’t the most eloquent thing that’s ever come out of my mouth.”

  I laughed. “No, it definitely wasn’t.”

  Alex was really nice, and he was trying so hard, but nothing was clicking. We discussed our musical taste and had nothing in common. We talked about vacation spots, and he liked to go to the same place every time—his beach condo—while I liked to explore places off the beaten path. Even though he was tall and slim, he wasn’t really athletic at all. Vacation surfing was his only sport. When he told me he didn’t like to read, it was the final nail in the coffin. I didn’t think I could be with a man who wasn’t a reader.

  When our food arrived, it seemed we had exhausted every topic of conversation we could think of.

  “The scallops are delicious,” I said.

  “I’m glad. I’m not really a fan of seafood,” he said politely as he sawed through a bloody piece of steak.

  A laugh bubbled up through my stomach to my chest and burst out of my throat. Alex look startled at first, but he joined in the laughter quickly.

  “We really have nothing in common, do we?” he asked.

  I snorted. “Nope, nothing at all!”

  “It’s really kind of amazing how different we are,” he marveled.

  “But not in an opposites attract sort of way,” I said through giggles.

  He shook his head. “Not a match!”

  After that, the non-date was more fun. We continued to compare what we didn’t have in common and Alex shared some of his dating woes. His outlook on the current dating scene wasn’t very encouraging.

  He drove me back home, and when he pulled up to the curb, I turned to him and grinned.

  “That was fun,” I said.

  “Agreed. Let’s never do it again, though, okay?”

  “Obviously.”

  We shook hands to seal the deal, and then I climbed out of the car and watched him drive away.

  Tonight had been weird, but not in a terrible way. I’d gotten the first date out of the way, and now it was done. I could probably do it again, but I’d find my own guy next time.

  I went inside and turned on the lights, then peeked out the window, noting Charlie’s lights were on. He was home from his sister’s house.

  I put my shoes away in the closet and was about to take off my dress when there was a light but persistent tapping on my door.

  When I opened it, I stepped back, and Charlie walked right through without pausing. He looked around my small apartment, then turned to me.

  “Hey,” he said.

  I put my hands on my hips. “Well, hello. And come right in, please!”

  Charlie studied a picture on the wall over my shoulder. It was a painting of Main Street from the early twentieth century I’d bought in one of the shops in town.

  He nodded and walked into my living room, looking out the window.

  “Your place is nice,” he said.

  “I like it. It’s certainly cozy. So, uh, what’s going on?”

  Charlie looked jumpy, like he was buzzing.

  He looked at me intently. “When I got home this afternoon, I was really looking forward to seeing you. And then I got your note, with your goddamn lip print on it, talking about going to dinner with that guy... Anyway, I saw your light come on, so I came over to say hi.”

  It hit me square in the chest while he was talking. Charlie was jealous. And he was nervous Alex was going to be here when he came over, but he came over anyway.

  “You like me,” I said softly.

  He ran his hands through his hair and frowned. “What? Of course I like you. You’re Eliza, my friend.”

  I st
epped into his space and looked up into his eyes. “But that’s not all,” I said.

  His brows pinched together as he watched me. “No?”

  Raising up on my tiptoes, I braced my hands on his shoulders and pressed my lips to his for a long moment.

  “What was that?” he whispered.

  “You like me,” I said again.

  He gently brushed my bangs out of my eyes and scanned my face.

  He didn’t deny it, but he didn’t make a move either. Who said he had to be the one to make the first move? I could tell from the humming of his skin he was just as nervous as I was.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his face down to mine, then slowly kissed around his mouth. I planted a kiss in each corner before finally pressing my lips to his again and lingering there.

  “I like you too,” I breathed.

  His fingers were like feathers, ever so lightly tracing the line of my jaw, his eyes on mine with the kind of fierceness I had never seen in him. It made me ache deep inside.

  Then he rested his forehead on mine and wrapped his arms around my waist, drawing my body against his.

  “Eliza…”

  He said my name like it was a surprise, like I was a surprise.

  “Charlie, I did it. I was spontaneous and made the first move. You’re really going to have to kiss me now, though, before I go crazy.”

  And then finally, finally, his lips met mine, and we really kissed. We went slow, getting to know each other in a whole new way. I knew kissing Charlie would be good, but the reality of it was magic. His lips and mine melded together, and when I parted for him, his tongue slid against mine, making me whimper.

  I never wanted the kiss to end. His lips were so soft and warm, and I would have said they were comfortable if not for the way his mouth on mine stoked a fire in my body—a fire that had never burned as hot as it was burning now.

  As our tongues and lips danced, Charlie stroked my back, and then one hand traveled up and gripped the back of my hair. The ache in me only intensified as our kiss went on and on and on. I was kissing him for every time I’d wanted to, but had held myself back.