by Lisa Graves
“What did you do?”
He held me close as though he were admitting murder and reluctantly uttered in my ear, “I put you in danger.”
“How?” I couldn’t think of anything Elliott had ever done wrong. “I’ve been fine,” I added. “I’ve missed you like crazy, but fine otherwise.”
“Lilly, because of me, you almost drowned tonight. I called out to you.”
“Huh?”
“I didn’t know you were underwater! I could only feel your energy intense and close. And it nearly killed you. What if it did!” He buried his head and shame in my shoulder.
I knew it was his voice I heard in the waterfall. But I couldn’t let him get all worked up over this. It was just a mistake.
He continued. “Maybe it would be better, safer for you without me.”
“No!” I pulled back to look him in the eyes. “No. No. No.”
“Lillianna, Miele, listen to me.”
I shook my head back and forth. “I’m fine.”
“What if it happens again?”
“I won’t go swimming. Problem solved.”
Elliott tried to stare me down, but I wasn’t going to budge. I needed him much too badly. “I love you,” I said.
“Still?”
“Always.”
“I love you too.”
“Can I ask you something?” I asked Elliott as I rested my head on his shoulder and breathed in his gardenia scent.
He gave a forced chuckle at the sudden change in my tone. “Si Miele?”
I hesitated. Was it bad manners to ask someone about their personal aroma?
“Che?”
I couldn’t look him in the eye. My eyes conveniently wandered up towards the starry sky. “Why do you smell like gardenias?”
“You don’t remember yet?” I was relieved to hear the light in his voice again.
I pulled my body back far enough that I could look him in the eyes. “No, should I?” It seemed to tug at some memory, but I couldn’t bring it into focus.
“You should be able to consciously project and remember more by now, but something is blocking you.” He trailed off as though he was on to something.
“Are you going to tell me about the gardenias or do I have to guess?”
Elliott gave me a mock grin. “Do you have any guesses?” I thought for a moment. “No.” I shook my head.
“It could be a number of things, but I think I smell like gardenias to you because that was the flower that grew in the cloister that first rainy day I saw you. It was the first thing I gave you. My theory is that your brain took that first memory and tied the scent around it. And me. Scent memories are very powerful.”
I guess that made sense. Kinda? I laid my head back on his shoulder as he continued to rub my back. It felt incredibly sensual. The tingling of energy pulsing from his fingers and the magnetic pull of Elliott in general. It was the strangest sensation. But simultaneously, the best. It wasn’t a longing, a desire, or even a need. It was like gravity. I could no more float off the ground than try and be very far from him. At least when I had control of our proximity.
Suddenly, I needed to get some tips on projecting as soon as possible. Elliott was right. That was the priority. This was the priority. What was the key?
“So, have you figured out what I’m doing wrong when I try and project?”
“No.” He sounded disappointed that he didn’t have a different answer for me. “I’ll keep thinking though. It’s probably something small. Something we are taking for granted.”
Something small? “Do you think my ring could affect it?” I had found myself starring at it more and more lately as I lay in bed at night thinking of Elliott.
“It wouldn’t be hindering you at all Miele. It’s tied to us in a very intimate way. It can only help you.”
My arms were still wrapped around Elliott, but I positioned my hand to gaze at the rainbow stone. “How can it help?”
“Try meditating on the ring. Look into the opal. Maybe it will help you clear your thoughts so you can let go. It sounds like you’re doing everything else right.” He gently kissed my cheek, then my neck.
“Can I ask you another question?” The same timid tone colored my words as earlier and Elliott picked up on it immediately.
“Che adesso?”
“Huh?”
Elliott giggled his light-hearted laugh. “What now, my love?”
“What do I smell like to you?”
He brought his mouth so close to my ear that the energy pulsing from him made me shudder. Breathing me in, he whispered “Rain, mia amore. Una fresca primavera pioggia.”
I didn’t understand anything after rain, but the husky texture of his foreign words were like chocolate. Chocolate and honey. Elliott’s voice was delicious. I couldn’t get enough. “I do have a theory about your lack of projecting ability,” he started to say. But before I knew it I was falling back to reality.
My body and soul reached out to hold on to Elliott, but I couldn’t. The falling was over quickly. I didn’t open my eyes. This was not where I wanted to be. Water fell, drumming in the background as I shivered slightly in my damp clothes.
Chapter 15. Boat
I woke early. Before the summer sunrise even. Vague memories came flooding back. Nicholas, the date, the dinner, drowning, projecting, and Elliott. Everything after Elliott was really fuzzy.
I searched my brain for how I got here, in my bed, in my pajamas. I think my mom helped me change after Nicholas carried me to bed, but I wouldn’t bet money on it. My thoughts were only focusing on one thing. One person. Everything else melted into oblivion.
I tried to focus. Looking around my room I saw that someone had placed the vase of gardenias Nicholas had given me on my bedside dresser. It was probably my mom. For one brief moment I was incredibly annoyed. Then my thoughts raced back to Elliott and how that smell surrounded him.
I snagged one of the flowers from the vase and lay back with the bloom pressed to my nose. I breathed the white petals in deep and my mind faded back to sleep with my love coloring my thoughts.
When I woke again, I fought it. I didn’t want to quit dreaming. I was enjoying being unconscious too much, but the sun shone bright through my window. With a sigh, I gave up and rolled out of bed.
I landed on the floor with a thump.
Meredith, my mom, must have heard me, because seconds later I heard her start up the stairs. I started to panic. I didn’t have my thoughts collected on everything that happened last night. Unfortunately, ready or not, the Spanish Inquisition was about to begin.
The questions started before she was even through the door. “So, Lilly,” it was sad that my own mother’s voice sounded like most of the girls’ at school, anxious for the latest gossip, “how was your date?”
I stood up and sat back down on the bed. I might as well be as comfortable as possible while I’m being tortured. “Fine.”
“Where did Nicholas take you?” she prodded.
“On a picnic hike up Dimpledell.”
Meredith sat down next to me, practically bouncing. “Did he kiss you?”
“Mom!” I stood up and walked to the window.
“Did he?”
CPR didn’t count as kissing in my book. It didn’t matter to me if it did in Nicholas’s.
“No,” I answered.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nicholas laying on my roof under the windowsill. He was listening and winked at me when our eyes met. I quickly moved towards the bed as not to draw my mom’s attention to my unconventional door. The lone gardenia was still on my pillow. I picked it up and placed it in the vase with the rest of them. It was the wrong thing to do.
“It was really nice of Nicholas to bring you those beautiful flowers.”
“Um hmm.”
She pressed on. “I thought you might like to see them when you woke up. They smell amazing.”
I didn’t reply.
I thought they smelled amazing also, but for completely
different reasons. My mom kept talking about how great Nicholas was, and what a gentleman he was being and on and on. I tuned it out. It occurred to me that Charlotte would be here acting exactly the same way if it hadn’t been a date with the person she was in love with. Instead I had to deal with my mother.
“Charlotte called for you last night while you were on your date.” She added casually amidst her assessment of Nicholas. This caught my attention.
“What did you say?”
“You are all still friends right? Or has that changed too?” She was fishing with bait now. “She seemed a bit surprised that you were on a date with Nicholas.”
My teeth clenched tight. Great. “What exactly did you tell her mom?” The tension in my voice leaked through.
“Should I not have said anything?” she said with false innocence.
I noticed she didn’t answer the question. My eyes flashed to the cracked window. Nicholas was hearing everything. I had to be diplomatic. But I also didn’t want my mom playing in the messy little love triangle that had formed. “Things are a little complicated right now,” I scratched my head, “and fuzzy.” I needed out of the conversation and quick. “I really think I need a shower.”
Meredith’s shoulders dropped and her face looked disappointed. “We can talk more later,” I added. It would be easier to lie with Nicholas out of earshot.
She seemed appeased with this alternative, not happy, but appeased. I could tell she wanted the dirt now. But I needed to decide what I was going to say. Meredith sat on my bed watching me walk around nervously. It was apparent she wasn’t going to leave, so I did. I went and locked myself in the bathroom. Just in case.
I had a quick shower. Washing my hair and body at break neck speeds. I was getting faster at getting ready. But when I turned off the water in under five minutes, I felt more jittery rather than a calm and collected person. I didn’t feel like a girl who knows all the answers to the questions she is to be ambushed with the second she stepped out of the door. My heart started to race along with my mind. I turned the water back on.
This time I plugged the drain and filled the tub with hot water. I added some of the vanilla bath salts from the windowsill. I lay down in the rising water and tried to find answers to the questions that were sure to come.
The sound of the running water was as soothing as a lullaby. I focused on that noise and let the hot water relax my tense body. I was almost comfortable enough to fall asleep when I realized I was in prime condition for projecting. Why not give it a try?
The splashing of the water from the faucet continued for what felt like a long time. I was trying not to look at the clock. But it felt like forever. The water had risen to the edge of the tub when I reluctantly moved to turn off the faucet. I didn’t want to move a muscle. I had to be getting close to projecting. But something was holding me back. I just couldn’t seem to let go...
I was stubborn however, and I lay back down to try again.
Over an hour later, as the water was getting cold, there was a knock on the bathroom door. I plugged my nose and scooted down until my head was under the water. The knocking continued.
“Lilly!” a worried honey voice called to me from under the water. I shot straight up immediately.
“Elliott?” I whispered back.
Nothing. I shouldn’t have gone under the water.
The knocking on the door continued.
I rolled my eyes back in my head. I still didn’t feel prepared for the quiz Meredith was waiting to give me. “Yes?” I said with more attitude than was probably called for.
“Lil,” Sophie whispered through the door. “Can I come in?”
Whew! Not the inquisitorial squad. Or was it? “It’s locked Soph,” I said with hesitation. She could be working for my mom.
There was a pause. The whispering continued. “Nicholas is in your room. He says to ‘hurry up.’ What should I tell him?”
I wasn’t even prepared to deal with my mom. What to do about Nicholas, or what to say to him, hadn’t even crossed my mind. “Tell him to go away.” I told Sophie. I was sure Elliott would be worried sick. I’d promised no swimming. I wish there were a way to let him know I was okay. As usual these days, I was being sidetracked.
“He said you would say that,” she quietly giggled. “He said, ‘Nope, he’s waiting.’”
Damn it. “Fine.” I grumbled. “Tell him to give me a sec.”
“Kay.” She giggled again and the laughter trailed off as she headed to my room.
I pulled the plug and let the water drain down. I toweled off quickly and dressed in my usual jeans and white man-beater tank. With some gel on my fingers, I gave myself a rush-job hairdo. I glanced at the mirror on the way out and noticed my short black spikes looked like there was effort. I tousled my hair more, deliberately trying to mess it up. I didn’t want Nicholas thinking my hours in the bathroom was for his benefit.
As I rounded the hall, I saw Sophie playing with some of her dolls on the floor in front of my room. Guarding it. What a good little sister I had.
“Thanks,” I said to Sophie in passing as I entered my room.
“No prob. Nicholas gave me five bucks.” Very wise of him to bribe the guard.
The door closed.
Nicholas gave me a big bear hug the moment he saw me. “I’m so glad you’re alright. You were really out of it after I kissed you last night.”
Reflexively, I returned his hug, but my body lost all tension as his words sunk in. “We didn’t kiss.”
“Our lips were touching.”
“Not a kiss Nicholas.”
“I can do it again if you like.” He looked down and puckered up. I was unable to answer, his hold on me was so tight. I shook my head no.
“I was really worried. I slept on your roof.”
I looked up at Nicholas but I didn’t know what to say.
As my eyes shifted around my room for a diversion, my red tattered notebook caught my eye. I had an idea. I couldn’t focus on anything until I let Elliott know I was okay. I could just picture him going crazy in the astral meadow. I flipped through it until I found a blank page and quickly scrawled:
I’m okay. See you soon. Hopefully.
I grabbed the camera from my desk and took a picture. I didn’t have time to examine the photo to see if Elliott got my message and wrote back to me. Plus, that wasn’t something I wanted to try to explain to anyone. Nicholas especially. I turned the camera off almost as fast as I had turned it on, and stashed it the top drawer of my desk. Nicholas raised his eyebrows and looked at me funny.
“What was that about?”
Nope. I was not going to go there. “Let’s go for a walk.” I looked at him as though nothing strange had just happened. “I’ll meet you in front of the Nelson’s.”
He stood there and stared at me for a minute.
“What?” I said.
“You look really pretty Lil.” Ugh! He started to crawl out the window, and I didn’t hide my displeasure at the compliment. I slammed the window shut behind him. Nicholas laughed as he shimmied down the roof.
I opened my door. “Guard duty is over, Soph. Thanks.”
She started to collect her things. “Anytime.”
I made my way down the stairs as quietly as possible. I was hoping to be out the door far enough that my mom wouldn’t bother chasing after me with questions, but also close enough that she saw me leave through conventional methods. I wasn’t so lucky.
She was waiting.
On the front porch with the latest gossip magazine keeping her company, Meredith was waiting for me. “So Lilly, I’ve been dying to hear how your date went!”
I casually looked out across the front yard as I took a seat next to my mother. At least I spotted Nicholas where I asked him to meet me. He was sitting on the edge of the asphalt six houses down, drawing pictures in the dirt with a stick, waiting for me. He couldn’t hear me from there.
I shrugged as I said, “It went fine.”
“D
etails Lilly. I want details.”
“We went on a hike, had a picnic, and played in the waterfall that we hiked to.”
“How romantic.”
I rolled my eyes. “Mom!”
“What?”
“It’s not like that.”
She glared right back. “It looks like it to me.”
I got up and started to walk away. “I have to go. I’ll be home later.”
“Going to meet anyone in-particular?” She asked, not very inconspicuously if you ask me.
I waved her off and headed down the street towards Nicholas. Hopefully she had resumed her magazine and didn’t notice Nicholas waiting for me. It wouldn’t help my lie.
I glanced back at Meredith when I was two houses down the street. Yay! She had resumed the gossip magazine since I hadn’t armed her with much dirt. Nicholas was scribbling out whatever it was he had written in the dirt when I reached him.
“Hey hoe.”
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s walk Nitch-o-las.”
“With pleasure.”
Too bad he wasn’t lying. I was really starting to miss the Nicholas that was just my friend. At least then I would have someone to talk to. Someone to console me and maybe even help me with the mysteries of Elliott and projecting. Instead, I had a twitter-pated puppy. A blond, blue-eyed, freakishly tall puppy. At least he was loyal.
I started walking towards the meadow.
“Where are we going Lil?” asked Nicholas at my side.
“The park.”
“Okay. Any particular reason why.”
“We need to be alone.” He looked a little too happy, so I clarified. “We need to talk.”
“I think we would get more privacy in my cellar.” Damn. He was right, and he knew it.
“Fine.” I turned to change course and he grabbed me by the hand and swung me up into his arms. He didn’t even break stride. Nicholas kept walking towards his own little esoteric corner of the world. All I could do was sigh as he grinned from ear to ear.
He ended up having to set me down to get the heavy wood door open. Looking into the dark, damp and creepy old cellar gave me a chill up my spine. I let Nicholas lead the way.
He dragged me by the hand to where his blanket lay on the dirt floor. I took a seat and Nicholas had the nerve to try to cuddle up next to me. Why did he have to make my life so difficult! I squirmed a bit. My heart raced. How was I going to get out of this?
