Bare Devotion
Page 12
“What did she do to you?” Ally wanted to know what had put the sadness in his gaze.
Blake closed his eyes and Ally could feel his turmoil as he struggled for the words to tell her. “My first wife was young when we met. We both were. I was in the military back then and thought it would be great to have someone waiting at home for me when I got back. I was Navy and was gone for months at a time. She couldn’t handle it and she slept around.” He looked her in the eyes and his pain became hers. “She got pregnant and aborted the baby. It was mine. She didn’t want it in the way, curbing her fun while I was gone.”
“Oh, Blake.” Ally wrapped him in her arms and held him close. She couldn’t imagine doing anything like that, but who knew what the other woman was thinking at the time? Honestly, Ally didn’t care about the other woman. Her only thought was for Blake and what he had lost. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine losing a child.”
“I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” She was startled at the fire in his eyes and it must have shown on her face.
“Any woman who really loved you could never make such a decision, Blake. You have to believe that.” Ally wanted him to know that she wouldn’t betray the man she loved in such a way.
“It’s water under the bridge now,” he murmured as he pulled her to him. “All I want to do is spend the rest of my life loving you.”
“Then do it,” she whispered seductively. “Make love to me, Blake. Make love to me.”
Slowly, they began to undress each other, stopping and exploring with each new inch of skin exposed. Fingers caressed, tongues stroked and teeth nipped as they explored each other. It was like the first time with everything wondrous and exciting. He found the ticklish spots behind her knees and spent long moments teasing the piercing in her navel. She discovered how much he enjoyed having his nipples sucked and nipped. Arousal built and grew with each stroke and rub until they were both panting with need. He moved away and knelt between her thighs, running his tongue along her dewy slit.
“I want to taste you too,” Ally moaned. Wanting him to turn so that she could take him in her mouth. He sucked at her pussy lips and nipped them gently with his teeth before complying and lying beside her on the bed. With a roll he was up over her with her knees hooked behind his arms, his engorged cock bobbing just above her mouth. She was just about to taste him when he attacked her pussy, using his tongue to spear deep and fuck her.
She screamed and arched closer to his eager mouth. She reached up and gripped his pulsing cock with her fingers and guided it down to her mouth and he lowered his hips giving her easier access. She ran her tongue over the bulbous head before sucking the drops of semen already slipping from him. He was like ambrosia on her tongue and she greedily sucked more of his length into her mouth. She heard his groans and joined him when he thrust two fingers inside her channel and began to torment her clit with his tongue and teeth.
Ally reached her hands up and clasped his buttocks, tugging him even closer to her mouth before taking as much of his cock as she could into her mouth. She could feel the large head against the back of her throat and swallowed several times, breathing through her nose to help combat the gag reflex. Slowly she slid him out, only to take him just as deep again. He rewarded her with another taste of his cum, which she eagerly swallowed. Before she could take him deep again, Blake was gone.
“Hands and knees,” he grunted and his hands were shaking as he helped her turn over into the position he wanted. “I love the look of your ass when you’re on all fours. I like to feel it against me when I fuck that sweet little pussy of yours.”
Ally bent further down in the front so that her forearms rested on the mattress, lifting her ass higher for that first stroke. She loved this position as well. Loved how deep Blake could fuck her. She watched as he left the bed and grabbed a condom from the table. It was sheer torture to watch him roll it on, wanting it to be her hands caressing his flesh. She trembled with anticipation as she felt him move onto the bed behind her. She couldn’t stop the groan when he rubbed along her folds seeking entrance.
The first thrust was everything that she wanted. Hard, fast and as deep as he could go. Quickly it was followed by another and then another until the rhythm was set and they were both rocking their hips together. She could feel her nipples rubbing against the afghan and she flattened her arms along the bed so that she could reach the headboard and brace against it. Blake knew just what he was doing. Every hard stroke rubbed the bundle of nerves inside her that stimulated her pleasure. Every stroke threw her closer to nirvana and left her keening and moaning out loud.
“So good, Blake,” Ally tried to form the words to tell him. “So good.”
“Only gonna get better, honey,” Blake grunted in reply, his thighs slamming against her ass again. “Every time like the first time.” It was a promise that she knew he would do everything to keep.
“Yes,” she cried out when he leaned back and added two fingers to her ass, pumping them in time with his cock. He used them to rub against the thin flesh that separated fingers from plunging cock. She could feel the tightening of her belly, the clench of her cunt around his cock and she knew that orgasm was only seconds away. “I love you, Blake,” she cried out as the first wave hit her. “I love you.”
She heard his harsh moan as he continued thrusting, pounding impossibly harder and faster until she felt the harsh blast of his hot seed exploding inside her. He held deep for a moment before pulling back and slamming in again. With each burst from his cock it was the same. He’d thrust inside, filling her with his length as more semen pulsed into the tip of the condom. Then he’d slide out only to slam home again for the next burst of seed. It was hot and thick and she could feel it through the thin layer of the rubber. Blake gave one more thrust and wrapped his arm around her waist, turning them so that they lay on their sides with him still inside her.
“I love you too, Ally.” He brushed her hair out of her face and snuggled his mouth in, placing kisses along her jaw and neck. When she turned her head, he caught her lips in a breathless kiss that lasted forever, yet not nearly long enough. “You never answered me. Will you marry me, Ally? Will you stay with me forever?”
“Yes, I’ll marry you.” Ally snuggled closer back into him and smiled.
“You make me feel like a randy teenager all over again.” His words were followed by a gentle thrust and Ally was amazed that he was already hard again.
“What stamina you have,” she murmured.
“Only with you,” he thrust in and out again before pulling out and replacing the filled condom with a new one. It was mere seconds but it felt too long to be without him inside her.
“Ummm…” Ally moaned and lifted her leg back and over his hip, deepening the angle of penetration. “Maybe we won’t need Shep after all.”
Blake stopped for a minute and then slammed deep, making Ally cry out. “You wench. You’ll pay for that comment.” His chuckle filled the room as he continued with the slow, easy rhythm of their lovemaking. “I’ll love you until you can’t stand up and then I’ll invite Shep back and we’ll share you for the rest of the night.”
“No, please, anything but that,” Ally moaned but there was no disguising the blatant grin on her face and Blake chuckled again.
“I can see that life will always be interesting with you.”
Ally glanced back and the grin was gone. “Does that bother you, Blake? Can you deal with all that will come with having me as a wife?”
He placed a soft kiss on her check before answering. “I wouldn’t want you any other way, Ally. I love you and no matter what the future brings, we’ll deal with it together.”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Blake, but I’m so glad that I found you. I love you.” Ally caught his lowering mouth with hers and slid her tongue inside to duel with his. It was a slow exploration filled with love and acceptance.
“I’m the lucky one,” Blake sighed when they finally broke the kiss. “I’ll never forget that.”
* * * * *
Catherine was pulled from sleep by the incessant ringing of her bedside phone. She groped blindly for it as she tried to focus on the blurry numbers on her alarm clock.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Rin, it’s Jack.”
She could hear something in his voice and suddenly she was wide awake and fear was clawing at her. “What is it Jack? Who is it?”
“There’s been a fire at Michelle’s house,” Jack’s voice was ragged through the phone.
“Michelle? Is she all right?” Catherine and Michelle had recently become friends as they were the only two older women at the family get-togethers.
“We weren’t in time to save her.” The pain was evident in Jack’s voice, but only to someone who had come to know him as she had. Because of Roman, they had gotten to know each other well.
“Where are you, Jack? I’ll be there as soon as I can.” She was already pushing the covers off and heading to the closet for clothes when his next words came through what felt like a tunnel.
“I’m on my way to get you, Rin. We need to get to the hospital.”
“Who else was in the fire, Jack? Who else is hurt?” So many names were going through her mind. Gil and Ben were both working on this case, as well as Blake. Moira could have been at Michelle’s house, or Katie. But her heart stopped at his next words and she thought that she might die.
“It’s Roman, Rin. He went in to save her and the smoke was so thick…” Jack’s voice trailed off and Catherine blinked and landed hard on the carpeted floor of her bedroom. “He inhaled a lot of smoke, Rin. He’s at the hospital. They’re not sure yet if he’ll make it.”
Her keening cries filled the air as her heart beat faster. It hit her like a tornado out of nowhere. She loved him and wanted him in her life no matter what her children thought. And yet she had been the one pushing him to accept the crumbs of her life that she was willing to share. She remembered every time that he had hidden in the bedroom when someone had shown up unexpectedly. She remembered all the times they were around one another but couldn’t be together because it was what she demanded. Now she might lose another man that she loved, only this time she didn’t have all the years of memories and laughter to help her through.
She dropped the phone and ran to the closet to pull out a pair of jeans that Roman had talked her into buying, and slipped into them. She tugged a t-shirt on that he had given her. It was gray and bore the words Semper Fi. Always faithful. She was only just now learning what his gift was supposed to convey. She grabbed one of his sweatshirts from the back of her closet where she had placed it out of the way and slipped it over her head, needing the comfort it gave her.
She grabbed a pair of slip-on shoes from her closet floor and slid her feet in before making her way to the front door. She would meet Jack downstairs. She needed to be with Roman. She had to tell him that she loved him, that she needed him. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry. Most importantly, she wanted to tell him that she chose him. Every day for the rest of her life she would pray that he was there with her. The first face she greeted every morning and the last vision she took to bed. If only God would grant her the chance, she would show Roman that she was no longer afraid.
Chapter Eleven
The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever. Catherine could hear Jack’s voice, but his words were a jumble that she couldn’t decipher right now. Her only thoughts were of Roman and all that she had to make up to him, all that she had to tell him. Never again would they act like they were anything other than two people who were very much in love. God had given her a second chance at happiness and she had hidden it in shame. Now she just might lose it again.
The truck stopped moving and Catherine realized that they were in the parking lot of the ER. Before she could reach for the door handle, Jack grabbed her arm and demanded her attention.
“Damn it, Rin. Pay attention to me.” His face showed how tired and worn he was and for the first time Catherine remembered that Jack had told her Michelle hadn’t made it. Michelle, the sister who he had just discovered and started to get to know. Now he might lose his best friend as well.
“I’m sorry, Jack. I’m so sorry about Michelle.”
The pain came and went in his eyes, but Catherine saw it. “They said she never felt a thing. Smoke killed her in her sleep.” She watched as he rubbed his hands over his face and tried to shake off whatever he was feeling. “What I’ve been trying to get through to you for the last few minutes is that the waiting room is full in there, Rin. Ben and Katie are here, as well as Moira and Gil. By now Griff, Chetan and Shep will be here as well. You need to pull yourself together, Rin.”
“No, Jack, I don’t.” Catherine knew exactly what she had to do. “I need to get in there and be with the man I love.” She reached for the door and shoved it open. For the first time in a long time she wasn’t concerned about what her children would think or feel. She had devoted most of her life to them. Now it was time to devote herself to seeking her own happiness.
She ran across the lot with Jack on her heels and shoved through the double doors nodding at the cop who sat on duty at the entrance. The first thing that she saw was her family overflowing the chairs in the waiting room. She had no intention of going to them and every intention of finding Roman when Griff came over to her.
“Mom? What are you doing here?” Griff reached for her arm and led her over to where everyone else was sitting or pacing. “Jack, you didn’t have to drag her out of bed for this. There are enough people here for Roman.”
Catherine caught Katie’s and then Moira’s gazes and it hit her that they knew exactly why she was here. There was compassion there and understanding.
Catherine tugged at Griff’s arm and took a deep breath. “I want you to sit down for a minute, Griff. I’d like to talk to all of you.”
“Can it wait, Mom? This isn’t exactly the time for a family talk.” Griff stood to the side, noticing absently the way that Moira and Katie moved into the arms of their husbands and Chetan and Shep moved next to Jack. “What’s going on?”
“You’re right, honey. This isn’t the time for this discussion. I should have told you all a long time ago. But I was afraid and I let that fear control me.” She turned to Katie and felt a jolt at the nod her daughter gave her. At least Katie seemed accepting of what Catherine was about to say. She turned back to Griff, sensing that her youngest son would take this the hardest. “I’ve been dating someone for a while now and…”
“What!” Griff exploded and she could tell that he wasn’t thinking about where they were any more. “You’re a married woman. You can’t be dating.”
“Your father has been gone for two years now, Griff.” She could see the little boy in the eyes of the man standing before her.
“So you just don’t love him anymore? You just shove him in a grave and go on with your life?” She knew it was the same little boy talking, but her hand was out and flying before she could stop it. The crack of her palm across Griff’s cheek left the room in silence.
“How dare you speak to me that way? How dare you say something like that to me?” She was shaking with pent up emotions that she had kept inside for too long. Maybe she had been wrong to try so hard to be the rock her children needed when their father passed away. Maybe she should have allowed herself to be the woman instead.
“Do you have any idea what it is like to love someone so much that your entire life becomes rooted in that person? I loved your father with all I was for thirty-four years and I don’t regret one moment of it. I died with him th
at day and it took all I had to stand strong and be there for you. You wanted to convince yourself that you were the one comforting and watching over me. I knew that and I let you believe it even as I soothed your wounds. I’ve given my life to your father and then to my children and I have loved every moment of it.”
“Obviously,” Griff sneered and although she knew it was pain and confusion speaking, it hurt deeply.
“I deserve better than that from you, Griff. I raised you better than that.” Catherine closed her eyes and did nothing to stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks. “As much as I wanted to die with your father, I didn’t. I had to accept that and go on whether I wanted to or not.” Her eyes opened and there was no denying the pain inside her. “I had to. I met and married the love of my life and was blessed with thirty-four wonderful years and four beautiful children. I could never ask for anything more than that. And I didn’t.”
Catherine shook her head trying to find the words to express what she wanted—no, needed—to share. She glanced toward her older son Gil and was pleased to see Moira wrapped in his arms and understanding on both of their faces. Maybe it was the fact that he had recently found the love of his life. She looked back at Griff, so much like his father Mick that he took her breath away. “I didn’t ask for anything. But God saw fit to give me a wonderful gift anyway. I never expected to fall in love again, not at the age of fifty-seven. Not when I’d already been given so much in my life. But I did. And instead of being grateful I hid it in fear.”
Griff looked at her and the print of her hand still stained his cheek red. “Who is it?” was the only thing he asked her.
“Roman and I have been seeing each other for months. I asked him to be discreet and not let anyone know about it.” She glanced behind her when she felt Jack step up. “Except for Jack, who is Roman’s best friend, we’ve kept it private. I’ve walked away from him when all I really wanted was to go straight into his arms. I’ve made him hide in shame when I should have kept him proudly at my side. Now, I may lose the man that I love—again.”