Verdria's Heart [Lush Valley, Tennessee] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Robyn Reigns

  “Good morning, baby girl. How are you feeling today?” Kissing her temple, he let his eyes travel over her body to make a quick assessment. Making sure her body language matched her words, he relaxed, listening to her cheerful response.

  “I’m feeling well.” She smiled and her eyes lit with happiness as she stood to hug him. His stronger arms held her firmly and gently. He was afraid to hurt her and was being extra cautious every time he handled her. Smiling inside, he was glad to have her in his arms. He noticed they needed to touch and hold her as much as she needed to do with them. He hoped she was finally addicted to needing him as much as he needed her. Excitement bubbled through her body and eyes. “I can’t wait to leave this place.” He knew she was in a hurry to leave. He even had to stop her from thoughtlessly grabbing one of her bags.

  “Don’t you dare touch those bags, woman.” He pushed her hand away adamantly. “All the paperwork looks complete. I have all your medications, so it looks like I can bail you from this shindig.”

  “Where’s Owen? Did he come along with you?”

  “He’s back home waiting on you. I left him to deal with some of our friends and the locals checking in on you. We all know he’s better at that stuff than me.”

  They both hurried to leave the hospital. The car ride seemed to fly by as they chattered and made idle conversation. Verdria was on pins and needles. He knew she couldn’t wait to see Robin. But, he hoped Simon and Olivia’s visit would be a nice surprise. Simon, it seemed, didn’t want to step on too many toes while she was getting to know him and his twin. Simon understood they needed the time to build a foundation of trust. In a way he was glad the man persistently refused invites to visit his friend. His absence made Verdria more dependent on him and Owen. It’s not that they didn’t want the guy in her life. They just wanted her to trust them just as much as she trusted Simon. After her trauma with Monty, he feared gaining her trust may become more difficult.

  As soon as the SUV pulled up to the front of the house, Verdria couldn’t be contained as he watched her practically jump out of the vehicle and run to the entrance. Her happiness and excitement were contagious, and Ryker couldn’t suppress smiling. “Slow down, baby. If you hurt yourself, I’m going to spank you as soon as you’re completely healed.” Giggling, Verdria stuck her tongue out at him as she slipped out of the vehicle. He couldn’t help it. Ryker was so glad to see her so happy he broke out into a laugh at her childish antic.

  * * * *

  The door to the house opened as she went to grab the handle. Owen stepped out and gently pulled her into his arms for a hug and then carefully lifted her face to meet him for a deep tongue–to-tongue kiss. “Hey, sweetheart. Do you know how much I’ve missed you?”

  “I probably missed you more.” She just couldn’t hold the laughter that bubbled forth as her lips tugged up into a smile. She reached up and kissed Owen’s chin. The main greeting now out of the way, Verdria pulled Owen by his hand to follow her as they entered the house.

  “Ryker and I have a special surprise for you.” Owen nearly bumped into her back when she suddenly came to a stop. His hand came up to prevent her stumble turning into a fall. Surprised, all she could do was stare at the woman at the end of the hall. As if in slow motion, Olivia started walking towards her. Without thought her feet carried her to meet her friend halfway. It was a profound moment. They tightly hugged each other in greeting. Her own cheeks became wet with tears just as she saw the moisture collect in the corners of Olivia’s eyes. It was almost as if it were the reunion of two lost souls. The atmosphere was thick with their emotions. She was so happy to see her friend she was beyond speech. All she could do was hold her in a tight embrace until thoughts were collected and words could be formed.

  “Liv, I missed you so much.” It was the next statement that seemed to lift the curtain hiding the memories from Verdria’s abduction. “What would I have done without you?” Verdria pulled free from Olivia’s arms as the memories came crashing through her mind. It happened so fast. Overwhelmed with horrible flashbacks, she stood frozen and trembling. When she felt strong hard hands touch her, all she could do was associate them with the torture and abuse. She screeched and was about to start screaming until the hands lifted freeing her. She was so lost in her head with all these scary images, Verdria dropped to the floor and curled into a ball as if to protect her mind and body.

  She was disoriented from the crashing memories, she never realized Owen seemed just as lost and needed to comfort her. When she felt arms around her as she was picked up from the floor, terror seized her at what that moment seemed to be an alien touch. She needed to be released and get away. Instead she was held tight and carried. She heard his pleading words but they wouldn’t absorb and register. “Verdria, sweetheart, hush, love. It’s going to be okay. You’re safe here. Ryker and I will protect you.”

  Her small, fisted hands kept battering against the hard chest beneath her. She fought against the firm hold to no avail. She became so frantic. “Let me go. Now!” The strong grip finally released, and she curled into herself attempting escape.

  “What’s going on in here?” Ryker came bursting into the room, tension and worry visible on his face. “Verdria, what happened? What’s wrong, baby?” He quickly approached his woman, trying to reach out and comfort her. As soon as his hands met her body, she freaked out again. “Verdria!” The raised voice sent her into greater panic.

  * * * *

  Verdria huddled on the couch, curving her body back into a ball. She kept rocking and trembling. “Please don’t touch me. Please, I’m begging, please don’t touch me.” The pleading in her voice was desperate. For once Ryker realized controlling this situation was completely out of his hands. Like his brother, he was at a loss as to what to do. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. The sight of his woman begging not to be touched and in a true traumatic panic made him nearly break down right beside her. Owen’s gaze locked on his. They were so far out of their element. How could they comfort their woman when their very touch frightened her?

  He spied Simon quietly walk into the room. The smaller man stayed off to the side, observing Verdria. When Olivia walked to stand beside him, he drew her into a warm hug. It seemed like he was trying to comfort her in some way. Now that Verdria was being faced with her trauma, Ryker knew things would be very trying for him and Owen for the next while. He wasn’t sure if having Simon and Olivia here would be a help or a hindrance. After separating from his sister and patting her on the back, he crossed the room to stand in front of him and his brother. “Ryker, Owen.” Both brothers turned simultaneously to listen to him. “I need to make a suggestion. You know Verdria is like a sister to both me and Liv. I think it would be in her best interest if we leave the room and let Liv help her.”

  “What do you mean? We can’t leave her like this.” Exasperation, seemed to be the driving force behind Owen’s response.

  “Just come into the next room with me and I’ll explain. I don’t want the women hearing what I want to discuss.” Ryker didn’t want to follow Simon, but what choice was he left with? The sooner someone started helping Verdria, the better. He couldn’t believe how helpless he was right now. It was almost worse than not knowing where Monty had taken her. Defeated he and his brother followed leaving Verdria in Olivia’s care for the meantime.

  Ryker sensed Owen’s anger was nearly ready to overflow from Simon’s interference. He knew he was doing his best not to say anything that could ruin the new friendship they were developing for Verdria’s sake. His brother’s anger seeped loud and clear into his voice. “Now tell us why you made us leave our woman in there to suffer like that without us.”

  “Because you can’t understand what she’s been through unless you’ve experienced it yourself. Right now your presence will just hinder her from accepting what happened. Olivia is probably the best person in the world to help her get over this, and not because she’s practically like a sister to Verd. Although, that will definitely be in ou
r favor since trust is already established.”

  “What exactly do you mean?” Ryker’s frustration at the situation made him want to strike out at someone or something. Reining in his temper took a huge effort on his part. Like Owen, all he wanted to do was hold and comfort his woman. It angered him that he was useless right now. “I thought Olivia was a horse doctor. I didn’t realize she also has a degree in psychology. So how the fuck can she help Verdria? It’s like she’s living through post-traumatic stress syndrome.”

  “No, Liv isn’t a head doctor. Now quit being a tosser. You’re both acting like bloody pillocks right now. Liv and I are just trying to help. I just told you both that you can’t understand what Verdria’s been through unless you’ve been through it yourself. Well, my sister has been through it, and probably ten to twenty times worse than Verdria. She’s the only one that can sympathize with her right now. I know in my heart Liv will be able to help her. Just give her a chance. It’s not like we can do anything for her anyway.”

  Ryker saw the concern for both women evident on Owen’s face and heard it as he questioned their guest. “What exactly has Olivia been through, Simon? What do you mean it was probably worse than Verdria’s experience? You saw her body and what Monty did to her. What could have been worse than that? How exactly can she help Verdria?” It made him sick to his stomach that there were people out there that could hurt sweet and innocent women so badly. He didn’t even want to think about someone being hurt worse than Verdria right now. His mind couldn’t absorb the painful thought.

  “I’m sorry, Owen. Olivia’s story isn’t mine to tell.” Pain and despair echoed through his voice, but his face became closed and guarded as he thought about his sister’s past. “All I can tell you is that what Olivia lived through is unimaginable. Her clothes hide her physical scars very well. Sadly, those scars can’t compete with the memories and fears forever burned into her mind.” Simon went quiet as if needing to think over his next words carefully. He and Owen remained as calm and quiet as possible. They did their best to not fidget with impatience, knowing Simon could not be rushed. His next words were very difficult for him to state, from his closed-off expression, never mind discuss. “She was basically held captive by a sadistic son of a bitch for a few years. What he did to Olivia made Monty’s work look like child’s play. She had been so abused that to this day she still hasn’t been able to tell me or Verd her complete story. In fact, if it wasn’t for Verd’s stubbornness and tenacity, she would have tried to hurt herself again. Verd made her want to survive and showed her she had something to live for.” Simon smiled as his eyes clouded over as if lost in a thought. He snorted right before sharing his thought. “She was the first person to make my sister smile and then laugh.” The memory must have left just as fast as it came because a vale of seriousness quickly replaced the moment.

  Ryker could still see the worry eating away at Owen. “You really think Liv will be able to help Verdria without hurting herself? I don’t want her to relive anything so painful if it can be avoided.”

  “It’s my opinion that Liv will be the only one able to break through to her quickly. Those two understand each other so well it’s scary. It’s almost like they’re kindred. As for Liv, she lives in pain and fear practically every day still remembering. If nothing else, this will only bring them closer in some ways. My sister is still overcoming her past, but I’m sure she’s come far enough along to help Verdria find closure.”

  “I think you’ve told us enough, Simon.” Ryker started rubbing his eyes, trying to relieve some of his tension. “Thank you for trusting us with what you could of Olivia’s past. I’m sure the two of you will grow to be part of the family we intend to build with Verdria.” He patted the man on his back as if to welcome him into the Crawford home and family. The two brothers stood shoulder to shoulder as if supporting each other and displaying a strong united front. They would need it to help their woman find peace with her past, to move on to her future.

  “I think Verdria was very lucky to have found the two of you. It looks like you both would be willing to fight for her tooth and nail. I know you would protect her with your lives.” When Simon looked up and their gazes locked, Ryker felt his heart skip a beat at the profound sadness reflected in the other man’s eyes. It reminded him of soldiers that wallowed in painful guilt after blaming themselves for a fellow cadet’s injury or death. “I’m sorry, guys. So sorry. I understand what you’re both going through right now in so many ways. If I could lessen your pain or make you all forget, I would.”

  * * * *

  Olivia stood next to the woman that she loved like a sister as she watched Simon and the two large, overbearing, egotistical men leave the room. From what Simon told her, it sounded like Verdria had already given her heart to those two men. Olivia knew she would die before she ever let a man touch her again, let alone control her life. It was beyond her comprehension how her confidant, her friend, and sister could let not one but two oversized, domineering men into her life and heart. She didn’t know if Verdria was very brave or if she just went absolutely batty. All she knew was that as long as her friend was happy, she would be behind her every step of the way. Besides, someone would have to be there to help pick up the pieces if she were to fall or have her heart shattered. She knew she was being harsh, but trust didn’t come too easily for her. There were only two people in the world Olivia truly cared about. It hurt her heart to see one of them so broken in mind and spirit before her.

  Tears stung her eyes as she watched her friend curl into herself as if trying to pull away and hide from the memories. Olivia knew that her friend had to mentally relive the images before she could allow her mind and body to start healing. “Verd, please, love, you need to focus. I’m here with you now. Listen to me.” She slid down on the couch to sit next to her wounded friend waiting for her to recognize her presence. Bitter tears kept falling down Verdria’s cheeks faster than Liv could wipe them away. “I’m so sorry, Verd. I wouldn’t have wished this on my enemy. Please, focus on my voice and follow it to get out of your nightmare. I’m right here for you, sweets. I’ll always be here for you, just like you were there for me.” Words of comfort and love continued to flow from her lips as she rubbed her friend’s back and held her as close to her heart as she could. “You need to come to the real world now. He’s not here to touch you. The monster will never hurt you again.”

  Olivia knew Verdria couldn’t stop the torturous images. She was probably mentally reliving the sadistic asshole touching her and cutting her. The voices and flashes ringing through her friend’s mind were probably the reason for the trembling. She remembered feeling nauseous when reliving her own trauma, especially when men or their voices intruded during her flash backs. She hated the helplessness that drowned her as she observed her sister ride through wave after wave of painful memories.

  No matter how long it took, Olivia was willing to sit there patiently for this woman. She hoped her familiar voice and feminine touch would eventually help ground her friend. She wanted her to feel comforted and safe. Past experience taught her it took quite a bit of effort to find your way through the fear and distress. It was hard to say how long she sat embracing the larger woman. But over time she eventually heard the mumblings and screams quiet. Verdria’s body still slightly quivered, but she was slowly relaxing into Olivia’s embrace.

  Once Liv realized her friend was cognizant, she knew the best thing for now was to just hold and support her. Talking would be initiated when Verdria was ready. From past experience, Olivia knew forcing her to remember the events would only hurt more. She needed to open up about them only when she was ready. So, Olivia continued holding her friend close to her heart as she waited to hear her speak. Whether Verdria told her story or not wasn’t important. Right now Olivia knew it was more important just to be her friend’s rock during the storm trying to destroy all that was in its path.

  “There were only two things that saved me that day, Liv.” Her friend took her tim
e gathering her strength and courage to speak. She finally uncurled her body but remained in the shelter of her arms. “That technique you told me about. You said it was some kind of meditation thing. I never thought I’d need to use it, Liv, but it worked. Without it I never would have survived with my sanity intact.” Olivia watched as her friend subconsciously, started playing with her hair, letting a few long tresses curl around her finger. It was her way of fidgeting as she collected her thoughts to continue. “I was able to separate myself from what he was doing to me.” She hugged her friend’s arm close to her “I don’t know how you did it, Liv. How did you survive all that time?” Olivia spotted the tears rolling down Verdria’s cheeks and tried to wipe them with her thump but they ran nonstop. Her own started to water and it became difficult to distinguish if she cried for her friend’s recent nightmares or her own past traumas. “I think you’re the fucking strongest person I’ve ever met. I never realized what it must have been like for you until now.” Her arms tightened around Verdia as she went quiet. She hoped her friend was drawing just as much strength and comfort as she was, as they each tightened their hold.

  “The only thing I had to pull me through each nightmare was hope, Verd. Hope that if I survived, someday I’d be free.” Olivia needed space. She hopped off the couch, accidently jostling her friend in her wake. The two regained their balance, and Olivia turned to pace in front of her friend. Whenever she thought about her past, she needed to work off nervous energy. “It’s funny that. I finally got free and couldn’t stand the memories. There was one thing I never told you, Verd, and now maybe you’ll understand it a little bit better.” She paused pacing to take in her friend. She couldn’t believe how fragile her friend looked. Normally Verdria was the strong one Liv always leaned on. She locked her friend’s gaze to hers. “My meditation technique was always a saving grace. It helped me escape for a time. But no matter how many times I’d hide somewhere safe and happy in my mind, the memories would still always catch up with me. Sometimes remembering the past after the fact would hurt more than just sitting there and taking the beating. You don’t know how many times I truly wanted to die, Verd. I never thought about living until you and Simon came into my life. Living with the two of you, your zest for life and tough-as-nails attitude made me believe that maybe someday there’ll be more for me than just existing.”