Hell's Hotel

by Lesley Choyce

  The big issue was about tonight. Where was everybody going to stay? “We’ll camp right here tonight,” Josh said. “Right in their face. That’ll make them look bad.”

  “You don’t sleep out in the open if you can avoid it,” Craig advised him. “That’s what this is all about.”

  “Yeah. But you do it this once. To prove the point.”

  Tara studied the faces around her. Josh had maybe ten on his side. Maybe more. The kids from Citadel, those who were still left, looked a little less enthusiastic. Tara knew Josh would be willing to follow through. Once he got his own adrenalin pumped up, he’d stick to his plan. Maybe they’d stay there for a couple of days, make the point: We’re without shelter. Do something. But before long, someone would get riled, someone would get up and throw a rock through a window, or yell at a cop or do something really dumb. Then they’d all get arrested. Then what?

  Back when Josh and Tara had been going together, they had played a serious game of chess. Tara was an ace at it. Josh was pretty good but he thought he was the superior player. Sometimes he won. Sometimes Tara wiped him out. Other times, depending on Josh’s mood, she’d let him win. She never let him know that she’d done so, to avoid bruising his ego, but she was sure she was the better player. The scene right now reminded her of chess. This time she wasn’t going to let Josh win.

  Without saying anything, Tara got up and walked over to the two police officers. Some of the kids watched her as if she was a traitor in their midst. She talked to the taller officer and watched as he said something into his two-way radio. Tara stood and watched for the reply that came through a minute later.

  “What is she doing? Flirting with them?” Josh said out loud to no one in particular.

  When Tara came back, she looked a little nervous. “Listen everybody,” she said. “The mayor is in her office. She’s willing to meet with three of us. Only three. She said we can go in right now. If everybody else stays put.”

  Some just shook their heads like it was a big joke. Others nodded like they thought it was a good idea.

  “Sure,” Josh said, trying to make his move to outwit Tara. “It’s a good idea. I’ll go. Who else?”

  Two of the angriest guys in the crowd, Mark and Ben, stood up. Under his breath, Ben said, “We’ll go in there and trash the place.”

  Tara knew that Josh had just showed himself as a worthy chess opponent. Time for damage control.

  “I made the contact. I want to go,” she said.

  “I’m going with her,” Jenn said. If Tara went in without her, she might not have found much support from the other kids. She was an outsider. She’d been away. Most kids saw her as a do-gooder and they mistrusted all do-gooders. Josh would play it tough, however, and pretend he was one of them. Most of the time, they thought he was cool. Jenn was a different commodity. She had a special status now that she had come back from the dead. They had all really thought she was gone, and then suddenly, there she was.

  “Forget it,” Mark said. “I don’t think they should go in there to speak for us.”

  Some of the other girls booed loudly and called him a pig.

  “No, it’s okay,” Josh said. “I’m going in with them. I know how to handle those big shots.”

  “You’re forgetting the big shot is a woman,” Jenn said.

  Some of the girls said, “Yeah,” but Josh just laughed. “Hey, I know how to handle big shots who are women as well.”

  Tara knew that Josh would take over as soon as they got in there. She knew he’d screw things up on purpose, make demands, end up getting them kicked out of there.

  “Wait a minute,” somebody said. Tara turned around. It was Craig. He had been fading to the back of the crowd but now he walked up to Josh.

  “I wanna go in too. I think I should be there.”

  “Okay,” Josh said. He knew how much respect Craig had. “All four of us will go in.”

  Everybody nodded.

  “No,” Tara said. “They told us only three. No more.”

  “So screw them. We don’t have to play by their rules,” Josh insisted.

  “No, Josh. We don’t,” Craig said. “Not all the time. Not most of the time. But right now, we do have to play it by their rules. We have one good shot here to say something to the city. To say it real and to say it personal. We don’t want to blow it.”

  Josh looked at Tara, then at Jenn. “Okay. Let one of them stay here.”

  “No way,” Craig said.

  Josh looked around at the kids. Tara could tell he was ready to say something, maybe he wanted to ask for a vote. But the vote had already been taken. The results were clear. He’d played all his pawns and knew there was no place for the king to run to.

  ***

  The meeting lasted longer than expected. Everybody was getting hungry again. And it was starting to get chilly. A light, cold drizzle had begun to fall, and it looked like an uncomfortable night. When Tara, Jenn, and Craig arrived back, they were greeted like traitors.

  “What took so long, man?” Ben asked.

  “Just listen,” Craig said. “Here’s the deal. It isn’t exactly great, but I think it’s a start. Some of you aren’t going to like it, but I think we should give it a try.”

  “If it’s group homes, forget it. They’re like prisons. I’m not going,” Courtenay said.

  “That was what she tried first,” Jenn said, “But some of you are too old and some of you are like me — you’ve had bad experiences. So we said no and decided to take it one day at a time from here. There are eight empty beds at Phoenix House and ten at Adsum. Those of you who are willing should go there tonight.”

  Mark piped up, “They won’t let me and Ben into Phoenix House. We’ve been kicked out of there too many times.”

  A couple of girls were saying they refused to go to Adsum House. “It’s only for really messed up people and we don’t have those kind of problems,” Charlotte’s Web said.

  Josh watched Tara, as if waiting for her plan to fail. “Just calm down,” said Tara. “I think we can work this out. Look, the important thing is that the mayor agreed to meet with us. She says she’s setting up a task force, and any of you who are interested can get involved in some kind of better solution. You can meet back here tomorrow if you want, and get started.”

  A girl who hadn’t spoken before stood up. Her face said that she didn’t trust anyone, not the mayor, not Tara, no one. That she’d been disappointed by too many broken promises. “Yeah, I know who’s gonna be on the task force. Little Miss Goody Two-Shoes and Mr. President of the Student Council. I know how all that sort of thing works. You two will get your picture in the paper and we’ll still be on the street with nothing.”

  “No,” Jenn said. “That’s not it. Tara’s not gonna be on the task force, and neither is Josh. Street kids only. That was the rule. We all agreed that was the only way it would really work.” She paused and looked around at the faces of the other kids. “I decided I’m going to get involved. I’m going to do it.”

  “I’m gonna hate it, but I’m gonna do it, too,” Craig said. “I’ll need help. Let me know tomorrow who else wants to be in on it.”

  Tara and Jenn talked to everyone who was heading off to Phoenix or Adsum. Some of them had stayed over at those places before. Some hadn’t. There were about ten street kids left without any place to go, and four Citadel students still milling around.

  “What about us?” Courtenay asked. “Did she say we could crash at the old Fielding Building without being hassled?”

  “No.” Tara said. “She said that the police would chase out anybody in there.”

  “Then we’re right back where we started,” Josh said.

  “No, we aren’t. I said that those of us who lived at home would take home whoever was left.” It was starting to rain steadily now, a cold, relent
less Halifax rain that soaked through to the skin. In a few minutes, everyone would be very wet and very cold.

  “Forget it,” Ben said. He and Mark had started to drift away.

  “Wait,” Jenn said, then turning to Josh, “You could handle a couple a guests for the night, right?”

  Josh was up against a wall. “No problem,” he said, “C’mon.” He was trying to sound cheerful, but you could tell he hated the idea of the two guys in his house.

  Carla said no way, that she was sorry but she just couldn’t bring home anybody to stay at her house. The fact that she wimped out seemed to actually give courage to Beth and Claudia, who each took two girls. That left Craig and Courtenay.

  “I got a big house,” Tara said. “You can both come to my place. Craig, I hope you don’t mind sleeping on the sofa.”

  Craig smiled. “I think I can handle it if it’s only for one night.”

  Whatever Happens

  Tara’s father tried not to look surprised when he saw Tara arrive home with three house guests instead of one.

  “Anybody hungry?” he asked.

  Craig and Courtenay acted truly uncomfortable at first, but once they ate, everyone seemed to mellow.

  In the morning both Craig and Courtenay said they had to leave.

  “I really like it here,” Craig said. “But it’s not me, you know. Not all of us can just live inside other people’s homes. It’s nothing personal. We really need something of our own. I’m gonna try to convince them of that at city hall.”

  “You’re welcome back here if you ever need a place to stay,” Tara said, probably overstepping her bounds, but her father didn’t try to say otherwise.

  After they left, Tara asked Jenn, “What about you? I’d really like you to stay.”

  “I’m confused,” Jenn said. Tara wanted to state the obvious: Jenn, you are often confused. “If it’s okay, I am gonna stay for a while. Then decide. There are other kids still downtown. And there’s going to be more. I think I’m a little like Craig. For him, the street is like a job, an important one. A new kid shows up and he tries to make sure the new kid doesn’t get messed up. I feel that we need to stick together. It’s like this: down there is the only place where I’ve ever really felt wanted. No, that’s not exactly true. It’s the only place I’ve ever felt needed. Do you know what that feels like?”

  “Yeah,” Tara said, “I think I do. And I know that I’m different. I’m not part of that world. But I’m still part of your world, right?”

  “Right.”

  “So then we both learn to adapt. Whatever happens.”

  “Whatever happens.”

  ***

  At school, Josh came charging up to Tara. He didn’t exactly look happy to see her. “You know what those creeps did?”

  “What creeps?” Tara asked.

  “Those two losers who stayed at my house. Those guys that we were trying to help.”

  “Ben and Whatsisname. Yeah. How did it go?”

  “They devoured the kitchen, then talked to my parents in all kinds of indecent language. Then in the morning, they were gone and guess what?”

  “What?”

  “They ripped off my iPod, my laptop, and my phone.”

  Tara could see what Josh was saying. This is all your fault. And maybe she should have felt sorry for him. But she was rather enjoying seeing Josh so flipped out. “Not everybody who lives on the street is a saint,” she said without an ounce of sympathy in her voice.

  “I don’t believe those jerks. You show a little generosity and the first thing they do is rob you. Forget trying to be nice to people.”

  Tara knew this other side of Josh. Josh who was used to always getting his way, winning his battles, Josh who only ever had good things happen to him. In some ways, Josh reminded her of herself a little while back. “Josh, don’t be so naive. Those guys shouldn’t have taken your stuff. Hey, you can call the cops, or better yet, call the insurance company. They probably are a couple of not-so-nice guys, but it doesn’t mean all the kids on the street are that way. Besides, what was it you said in your paper. We are responsible for their condition? Something like that. So I wouldn’t take it personally.”

  Josh shook his head. “Man, you just don’t get it. It’s wrong for somebody to rip you off when you’re trying to help.”

  “Yeah, it is wrong. But there are a lot of worse things.”

  “Easy for you to say.”

  ***

  Nothing much had changed at school. It would be a struggle to catch up in her subjects, but Tara’s teachers were understanding. Mr. Henley suggested she may have to make up some work in the summer, but Tara knew she could probably pull things back together before that. After a few days, Jenn had moved out and was back to life on the street. Some nights she would stay at Phoenix House, once in a while she’d go home with Tara. Other times it was an empty warehouse that Craig had found down by the waterfront. But she had dropped back into school full-time. Afternoons were spent studying with Tara at the Trident Café or The Daily Grind or sometimes just hanging around the public library on Spring Garden Road.

  They were walking out of the library one day when Rob showed up. He looked at Jenn and just shook his head.

  “What were you doing in there?” he asked sarcastically.

  “Nothing much,” Jenn said.

  Rob looked at the books they were carrying, then at Tara. “What’s the point?” Rob asked.

  Tara started to say something, something about Rob that would have been less than complimentary, something in language she saved only for those moments when she was faced with the lowest of the low. But Jenn stopped her.

  “The point is I’m back in school. The point is I don’t need you, don’t want you and would prefer to see squirming maggots in my food rather than have to look at you.”

  Rob pretended he didn’t hear it. Instead, he tried to turn on the charm. “Hey, whatever I did to make you mad, I’m sorry. I just thought you should know I was back. I wanted to see you. Maybe you can come over.”

  “Maybe not,” Tara snapped and started to pull Jenn away. But Jenn yanked herself free.

  “I thought you were gone for good. What happened to Toronto?”

  Rob shrugged. “Wasn’t as much fun as I expected.”

  “Now what?”

  “Well, you know, I’m back. I thought maybe we could pick up where we left off.”

  “I don’t think I got the time. School and stuff, ya know?”

  Tara wanted to shred the guy, tell him what she really felt about him, but she held back.

  “School?” Rob scoffed. “You’re no good at that stuff. They don’t want you in that place. They’ll string you along for a while, but wait and see, they’re not gonna let you graduate. It’s fixed. You don’t have that kind of smarts up here.” He pointed to her head, but it wasn’t just pointing; he tapped her with his finger and held it there like he was drilling into her skull.

  Jenn didn’t pull away. Rob had her locked in with his stare. “You know that it’s not gonna work out. You’re just not cut out for all that school bullshit. You’re not that smart. But, hey, I never cared about that. I was there, wasn’t I? I took care of you. Didn’t matter to me if you didn’t have brains. I realize I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have split. C’mon back. I got a new place. Nicer than the last one.”

  It was a test. And a big one. Jenn looked at her books, back at Tara, then at Rob who had suddenly put on a very convincing puppy-dog face. Jenn was still fixed in his stare, like he was wielding some power over her. He tried to drive home his point, speaking close to her in a whisper so Tara couldn’t hear. “You’re not like her,” he said, motioning towards Tara. “She’s got everything. You’ve got nothing. Forget about school. Come back with me. It’ll be just like before. Only better.”


  Tara wanted to jump between them, grab onto Jenn and just get her away from there. This was all wrong. Rob sounded too convincing. In the old days, this was the sort of scene where Tara would have to step in and take over. It would have been the only way to avert disaster. She reached out to grab onto Jenn’s arm but then she stopped.

  “Rob,” Jenn said. “I got to tell ya. I have a pretty busy schedule. I don’t know if I could fit you into my life. School’s not so bad. Studying sucks, but it’s better than having to watch your crappy TV shows and listen to your crappy music at two in the morning. And, like, even now, I’d like to hang around and rehash old times, but I have this meeting with the mayor in about forty-five minutes.”

  “The mayor?” Rob asked.

  But Jenn was already walking away, with Tara trying to catch up.

  Strong and Independent

  Tara decided to write a long letter of apology to Mrs. Klein. She really wanted her old job back. She missed talking to the clients, and her life had changed in such a big way that she wanted to try to fill in some of the gaps. Working at the nursing home again would be good for her. And she wouldn’t screw up a second time.

  Strangely enough, Mrs. Klein gave her a warm reception. Tara figured that her old boss must have talked with the nurses who knew Tara at work and she was convinced that Tara had been good for the place, except for the one mistake that got her fired. Tara would be given a second chance.

  “You’re no longer part of the janitorial staff, though,” Mrs. Klein told her. “We want to see if you can handle working as a social assistant. We want you to spend more time with the clients here. Talk to them. Plan something for each of them to do. Be inventive and use your imagination.”

  Tara could hardly believe what she was hearing.

  “I don’t have to do any cleaning?”

  “None.”