“You cannot truly live in The Neverland,” he told her. “It’s a cage we cannot break free from, not ever.”
“As long as we are caged together, I can survive anything,” Remy told him. “Do you believe what I say, James? That I want to be with you for always? For as long as you’ll have me?”
“It is hard for me to believe,” he said, “but I will attempt to do so. For you.” He pressed his lips together, studying her for a long moment, before finally asking, “And what will you do here? With me?”
“I, I do not know,” she replied honestly. “Is that not what we are supposed to find out? You’re supposed to figure out what you want to do. Do you want to give up claim to The Other World? Or do you want to be responsible for three realms?”
James’s eyes narrowed into Remy’s skin, taking in her jaw line, the slope of her neck, her collarbone. She had soft freckles where her pulse was; how had he not noticed that before? It made her appear even more youthful than she already was.
“Pan,” he finally said, locking eyes with her. “Tell me what you found out.” Then, as an after- thought, he added, “Please.”
Remy gave him a knowing smile, a smile that indicated she knew he was avoiding the question but decided to humor him nonetheless. So she told him everything she had found out about him. How he was half fairy. How his father had raped his mother. How he could fly. How he hated James. How he wanted to acquire more power for himself.
James hated to admit it but he found he understood the boy more than he thought. Pan was a bastard and he would still extract his revenge in any way possible, but Pan’s motives were… understandable. Whether James wanted to admit it or not.
“And you got all of this information for me?” James asked when Remy concluded. His fingers gently traced her chin before reaching up and caressing her bottom lip. “You gave up your right to earth to acquire this information for me.”
“Of course I would,” Remy said, as though James was daft for thinking otherwise. “I highly doubt The Creator will make me go through with it, but at the time, it was important to me that you got what you needed to ensure your survival. I know you and Pan have a dangerous rivalry. I know that although you both have a common enemy in The Magistrate does not make the two of you friends. I would not be all right if something happened to you in any way, shape, or form, especially if I could have prevented it. I know it’s only information. I can’t fight for you because I’m a shit fighter – though I would, for you – and I’m not the smartest person either. I’m also not the most beautiful. I’m actually pretty average, if you think of it. But whatever I can do, I will.”
James was silent for a long moment. “You silly, little fool,” he said, leaning closer to her. His hands dropped from her lips so it could cup the back of her head and pull her forward. “You are not average. You are extraordinary.” And he crushed his lips against hers.
James wanted this. He wanted her again. He could not seem to get a grip on himself when he was around her. Normally, that would scare the life out of him. He would run from it. Run from her.
But there was no running from Remy Cutler.
At that moment, the door to their room burst open and in swept The Magistrate with a rusted cutlass in her right hand and a snarl on her face. When she saw James and Remy, took in their intimate setting, their lack of clothes, her lips curled into a smirk.
“How did you get out?” Remy asked, which was more than James could do, considering he had yet to find his tongue, still in shock that she was here. That she could escape from The Creator.
“What do you think, girl?” The Magistrate asked, offended that Remy could even think The Magistrate was not capable of getting where she needed to go at any given moment. “I have an army here, loyal to me. You do not think they cannot overpower two guards and get me out of that cage?” She rolled her eyes. “You are the bane of my existence, Remy Cutler. You have ruined everything.”
“You did that all on your own,” James said, positioning himself directly in front of Remy. He was glad he still wore his breeches; it would have been inconvenient if he was completely nude. “You were the one who took Remy against her will. You were the one who tried to deal with her under duress. You knew, you knew, The Creator would not have it. But you did it anyway. That was your fault.”
“How chivalrous of you, James,” The Magistrate said, walking closer to the couple. James was tense; he did not trust her at all, especially considering she always had a few tricks up her sleeve. Nothing was what it was when it came to The Magistrate. “I never thought I would ever see the day when James Hook would fall in love. It’s too bad she won’t be around very long. Shall I give you the courtesy of saying goodbye? Do you deserve that much?”
“You will not touch a hair on her body,” James said. His eyes slid over to the corner of the room, where his pistol and cutlass were. He should have had them within reach; that was his fault. He had been careless.
“Perhaps you are correct,” The Magistrate allowed, seemingly pondering the notion of not doing Remy any harm. Without warning, she produced a pistol in her left hand and fired off a shot at James. The gun went off and James fell back, but beside the ringing in his ears, he did not feel pain. It had just been an illusion. “I will not harm a hair on her body.”
Now that James was out of place, The Magistrate stepped forward and plunged the cutlass in Remy’s side, laughing as she did so.
Twenty-Two
“I did not realize someone as fragile looking as you could be so loud,” Nick said in a tired murmur. His lips curled up into a smirk as red painted Magda’s face. From the corner of his mouth, he added, “And feral.”
“Shut it,” she said, but even she could not get over the fact that she was happy. Really and truly happy.
Magda never understood the concept of making love. How could love be felt on a physical level, especially when pleasure was involved? Were you simply experiencing carnal desire or were you experiencing the physical incarnation of an emotion? Now, however, it made sense. There was such thing as having both. You could experience pleasure and you could experience love. Perhaps that was why there were so many people – both women and men – who confused the emotion, mistaking it for both when it was clearly one.
Magda could not explain how she knew she had both save for the simple fact that she knew it to be true, and nothing more. She would not question it beyond that.
“I’m serious,” Nick said, rolling so he was flat on his stomach and his arms encircled a pillow. He smiled at her over it, tilting his face down in the cushion. His dark hair fell into his face, and this time, Magda did not stop herself from reaching out to brush the locks away. She even allowed her fingers to linger on his skin just so. “I think you’ve given me permanent scars up and down my back.”
Magda’s face burned and she shook her head, lifting up the sheets in order to hide her face from his eyes. “Why are you hiding, Tink?” he asked, and she could see the outline of his cocked head through the thin, white material. “Are you embarrassed by your handwork? You shouldn’t be. I quite like it, if I may be so bold.”
“What do you call the last hour, if not boldness?” Magda asked, peeking out from the sheet and giving Nick a small smile. She had never felt this way before – shy and girlish. She did not think it was possible after having her wings taken, but now she realized she had been preventing herself from this. She had chosen to make assumptions on what she could and could not feel based on her limited knowledge. Now, she knew better and would not make the same mistake again.
“Passion,” Nick said, locking eyes with her. “Desire. Craving. Satiation.” He stopped, looking at her with such a fierce intensity that Magda’s first instinct was to furrow her brow and put her guard up. But she stopped herself from doing so, giving Nick the benefit of the doubt, choosing to wait and see what he said rather than to jump to conclusions. “Love.”
Magda’s throat immediately ran dry and even swallowing more than one time
would not help moisten it. Love. She had told Nick she loved him before. She had not been afraid to say it. Now, however, she truly knew what that meant.
Love was more than just a feeling. It required faithfulness, loyalty, trust, honesty, dependability, and above all else, respect. Love was a combination of a jumble of things that required constant maintenance that was both purposeful and easy.
“I don’t think, in all of our time together, I’ve told you yet,” he murmured, his eyes burning into a golden flame. “I am completely and irrevocably in love with you, Magdalena Trainor.”
Her breath caught in her throat once more at the sound of her full name – her real name – on his lips. She shivered with delight. He felt it – he must have – for her pulled her closer so they were lying right next to each other, facing each other, his arm now locked around her waist. She was not getting anywhere from here and she did not want to be anywhere else but here, in his arms.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” His hand curled a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear and she unconsciously leaned into his touch. “But I do. And I always will.”
“How do you know?” she asked before she could stop herself, biting her bottom lip and looking at Nick with big blue eyes.
“Because I know.” His hand found the back of her head and he began twirling her hair around his index finger. “I have faith in you, in me, in us. We’ll get through it.” He furrowed his brow. “Is that what you’re worried about? That we won’t remain together?”
Magda shrugged, giving him a sheepish look. Nick barked out a laugh.
“I’m sorry, Tink,” he said through chuckles. “I don’t mean to ridicule your feelings, but honestly, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard some remarkably dumb things. There is no way I would ever leave you or fall out of love with you or whatever else you’re afraid of. You must know how I feel about you. I just told you, and I’ve never told anyone that, regardless if I truly believed it or not.” He wrinkled his forehead. “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy by any means. You’re going to frustrate me and I’m going to annoy you and there are going to be times when the entirety of the Black Star won’t give us the amount of space we need in order to maintain our sanity. But I love you more than the obstacles we will undoubtedly face. You and I are built to get through anything, and together, we’re unstoppable.” He took the point of her chin and tilted it up so he could lock eyes with her on a deeper level. “You’re mine and I’m yours for the foreseeable future, if you’ll have me, of course.”
“Of course,” Magda said quickly. “Of course.” Her arm snaked around his neck, forcing his head down so their foreheads grazed. “I just don’t understand how you can be so certain.”
Nick opened his eyes and tilted his head to the side. “I’m not certain about much in my life, Tink,” he told her, “except you. I’ve never experienced this feeling I feel when I’m with you. It’s hard for me to put into words so I hope you take my word for it.”
“I would never question you,” she insisted. At Nick’s sharp look, she laughed. “Okay, maybe I question things. It’s just, I’m not always certain. I’m not naïve where I believe I know everything, especially about love. But I do know I love you. And to me, that means I want to be around you, I want to touch you, I want to protect you and keep you safe. Your meaning of love could mean something entirely different.”
“Yes, but why are you so focused on the differences?” Nick pointed out. “Why not simply enjoy the similarities we are both experiencing? The fact that you love me astounds me. It does not matter to me the reasoning behind that. It just matters that you do.”
Magda pressed her lips together, a light flush tainting her cheeks. “Perhaps you are right,” she said in a voice just above a whisper.
“I’m sorry, Tink,” Nick said in a teasing tone. “What was that? Did you just confirm that I was right about something?” The two laughed together, Nick wrapping his arms tighter around her body and pulling her closely to him. “Promise me that no matter what happens, you’ll stay with me. I can’t give you much of a life, but everything I have is yours. Including my heart.”
Magda pressed her lips together to keep herself from immediately responding. Instead, she took his question seriously and gave it some consideration. Being with Nick would mean giving up James and her time with James. It was her only way of life she had known for centuries. She could picture the multiple shades of blue in James’s eyes but her mother’s voice had long since faded from her memory. Would the same thing happen with James? What would become of him should The Creator inherit rulership of all three realms? What would happen to Nick?
“Nick, I don’t need much,” she told him. “James took me in and gave me a home when my mother did not even want me. I will never forget that. But you have shown me an entirely different person inside of me, a person I did not even realize was here. A more vulnerable, softer person. And, though I’m not familiar with this side of myself, I like learning about who she is and what strengths she can teach me about myself.” He placed his palm on the side of her face and she leaned into his touch. “I love you, Nick. I’ve never said those words out loud to anyone before. And I’ve learned that saying them does not make me weak; it makes me strong. You make me strong. I want to be with you always.”
“What shall we do with ourselves, Tink?” he asked. “Now that I’m free?”
Magda furrowed her brow, whipping her head toward Nick’s. “What?” she asked in a sharp voice. “What do you mean, you’re free?”
“Esperanza – The Creator – whoever she is,” Nick said, his dark hair fell into his face, “condemned me here, to The Neverland, because of the ruins I’ve left some women on earth. I was careless, I didn’t understand what it was like to love, and what that love meant. I never understood heartbreak. I never understood the consequences of my actions. As a punishment, I was condemned here until I found someone to love, who loved me. Where, I would be lost if they left, in pieces, if they left. And now I have that. So I am free.”
“But what about your crew?” Magda asked, raising a brow. “You would leave them without hesitation?”
“Adele, Calum, Giselle, and Edward,” Nick said, “are my true friends. I’ve never had true friends before. But you are my true love. And they were condemned to be part of being Ferry for their own reasons. When they’re ready to move on, they will.” He took her hand in his, his thumb caressing the top of hers. Her skin erupted into goosebumps and her breath caught in her throat.
“But you,” she said and then cleared her throat. “But you’re alive. So if you’re released from your punishment, won’t you be forced to return to earth?”
She pressed her lips together, her heart suddenly heavy. She did not want to think of being separated from Nick, even if it was for the best of him. Even if he wanted it.
Did that make her selfish? Was it wrong if she did not care?
Now that Magda had found Nick, she refused to let go of him. Not unless she knew it would truly make him happy. And if Nick was being released from The Neverland because he found her and because he fell in love and was loved by her, then why would they be forced to separate?
“I won’t return unless you can come with me,” Nick said, his tone firm.
Magda said nothing. Perhaps a better woman would have insisted he do what was right for him, that if the opportunity came up to leave this place and return to the land of the living, he should, but Magda never claimed to be a better woman.
“I have never heard of a fairy traveling to earth,” Magda said, her voice low.
“I have heard of crazier things,” Nick insisted. “I am here, aren’t I? I have a beating heart and I am here, with you, on a tiny island just before The Paradise. I do not think it’s a stretch for you to come to earth, if that’s what you really want.”
“Of course it’s what I want, Nick,” she murmured, her eyes big and dark and blue. “I never want to be without you.”
<
br /> “But,” he said, detecting the unspoken word in her tone.
“But I do not want to hope for something that is not possible,” she finished.
“Anything is possible, Tink,” he said with a wink of his eyes. “You just have to trust me.”
At that moment, a gun went off and both Magda and Nick jumped. They looked at each other, confusion and concern touching their irises. Without discussing it, they immediately sprang up and threw on clothes that perhaps would not hide their intimate activity but would make them decent. Once they were dressed, they grabbed their weapons and ran out of their room.
“Where did you hear the gun shot?” Nick asked, glancing at the rows of doors.
Magda shrugged, her heartbeat hammering in her chest the way her wings used to flap against the wind. “It could be in any of these rooms,” she said. “Maybe we should go into each room.”
“Or we could shout, and ask where they are,” Nick pointed out. “I don’t want you going in without being fully prepared. We are not in our element. We are somewhere else.”
“Somewhere controlled by The Creator,” Magda pointed out. Her arm was starting to shake due to the burn it felt, holding the weapon out for a long period of time. “I highly doubt she would betray us.”
“The property might belong to The Creator, yes,” Nick agreed, and while Magda was already struggling with her weapon, he appeared cool and in control. Magda almost hated him for it as much as she admired it. “But The Magistrate has been here longer than The Creator for this particular event. She has a swarm of men in this place and I doubt their loyalties have changed.”
“So,” Magda said, her eyes darting between doors before turning around and doing the same thing to the either line of doors behind her. “What should we do?”
Life in Neverland: Book 3 of The Neverland Trilogy Page 16
