Tough Love (Hidden Secrets)

by Belden, P. J.

  Every.

  Single.

  Time.

  It would never be better than the first time. No, I didn’t have daddy issues. I loved my father, though he was no saint himself. He showed me the ropes. I took my best cues from him, though he was unaware. It was simple. I loved sex and I loved men. It wasn’t an addiction. It wasn’t a hobby. I wanted what wasn’t mine. No, I wanted to borrow what wasn’t mine. I gave him back to you and you were never the wiser. I was that whore.

  If your man glanced my way, I was going to thank him with my own personal brand of gratitude. I would let him take me the way he wanted. When he was done, I gladly returned him to you. He may have asked to see me again, but I would never do it.

  They all came to me willingly.

  Every.

  Single.

  One.

  I simply extend the invitation.

  Chapter 1

  Summer 2005

  I had just spent the last few minutes scoping out my next invitation at the laundry-mat. He had been begging for any crumb of attention his object of affection would show him. He was hungry. I could tell by the way he was groping his girlfriend and looked at her as she playfully ignored him as she tended to her clothes. His eyes roamed her body with longing. She was petite with perfectly cropped brown hair and matching brown eyes. He slid his hands around her waist and she gave him a quick smile, then scolded him and removed his hands before resuming her duties. He was tall with dark blond hair and eyes I could not tell the color of, a jock’s build with half hidden tattoos under his white t-shirt. He was hungry … and he needed my help. His hair was longer than business cut and it turned me on like no other. He attempted again to ease her into him with his hands on her shoulders and she once again refused his advances.

  Time for the invitation.

  I took a pair of my best panties out of the washer and put the rest of my clothes into dry. I casually walked their way with my wet panties cupped in one hand and some change for the drink machine—that was directly behind them—in the other. I purposely caught his eyes and he smiled. He was still behind his girlfriend, taunting her with his hands. I licked my lips then gave him a broad smile in return. His jaw tightened and he wrapped his arms around her again, this time achingly slow as he burned a hole through me.

  Hook.

  I turned to give all my attention to the machine, as if it was more interesting, and could feel his stare. I quickly glanced back and saw I had his full attention. Showtime.

  I put the quarters in the machine as I scratched at an imaginary itch on my thigh, just below the hem of my red and black checkered mini-skirt. I continued to scratch at it until fake curiosity brought my gaze down to the unaffected area and lifted my skirt up further to inspect. Two seconds. A quick peripheral glance told me I still had him.

  Line.

  That was all it took and my skirt was back down. I pushed the button for a Coke and stood back. Instead of bending at the knee like a lady, I bent over completely so he could see I had nothing on. I hooked my undies with my finger so he could eye them and brought them with me to the restroom to slide them on. I coolly walked back out, popping the top of my soda. When I looked back at my prey, he was no longer engaged in playful musings with his love. He was now sitting behind her as she chatted him up, his eyes hooded and on me. I had him.

  I gave him an innocent smile and turned back to my task. I spent the next twenty minutes of my time ignoring him completely. I folded my clothes neatly and made my way to the exit ‘accidentally’ dropping my entire basket as I opened the door. Two seconds later he was there helping me.

  “I’ve got it, really. Thank you.”

  “No problem,” he said, eyeing my legs. He grabbed a few of my tees and put them back in for me, then lifted the basket up as he held the door open.

  “Jace, that was nice of you. Take it to her car,” I heard his girlfriend sound off as she smiled at me.

  “Thanks.” I smiled back at the girl who had just unknowingly given me permission.

  “You are so lucky to have a guy in your life.”

  “Yeah, he’s the best.” She cooed at him from where she was standing.

  We made our way to my car and I opened the trunk.

  “Quite a show you put on back there,” he said gruffly.

  “You see something you like?”

  “Fuck yes.”

  “Here,” I said, slipping him a matchbook I kept handy. It was to a pub that was three minutes from my front door. “Meet me here at nine tonight. I won’t wait a minute past.”

  “I can’t just—”

  “You can and you will. Won’t you … Jace?” I licked my lips again and gave him a once over, slowly taking in his body, imagining all the possibilities before briefly closing my eyes. I took the basket out of his hands and set it in my trunk and met his shocked eyes and gaping mouth. They were brown. Not my favorite color, but they would do.

  “Nine, Jace. I wouldn’t test me,” I reiterated and closed my trunk, forcing him to jump back out of his daze. I could tell the wheels were turning. He was considering it. Maybe this one would surprise me and not show. I gave him one more courteous smile as I rounded my car to make our word exchange seem casual to his girlfriend’s watchful eye, then jumped in my driver’s seat as he walked back inside.

  Sinker.

  “Yeah, see you tonight, Jace.” I laughed out loud as I started the car and felt the cool air hit me. I did not care that he was with the girl he would probably marry. He looked at her like he loved her, which is not the look I wanted. The look I wanted I would get tonight and all I had done to get it was the simple task of laundry.

  ****

  At nine on the dot I walked inside to find Jace waiting for me. I waved a quick hello to the bartender, Kyle, who knew me well. He nodded at Jace, knowing he was my next conquest. I gave him a nod in return and he shook his head in mild amusement. Jace was dressed up from what he had worn at the laundry-mat. I gave him my best smile and nonchalantly walked his way. Like all his predecessors, he looked around nervously, unsure of what he was doing.

  “It’ll be okay, Jace. I won’t tell,” I reassured him as I slid onto the barstool next to him.

  “Drink?” he asked politely, still unsure if he should be there. His shirt was a blue button down with the cuffs rolled on each side. His jeans clung to him in all the right places. I had done well for myself today. I may have a loose libido, but I still handpicked each invite and gave a second inspection at our one and only meeting. I had walked away several times, but not tonight. Jace was an exceptional find. He had a coiling snake tattoo running up his right arm that was full of color and I found it sexy as hell. His smile, though unsure, was beautiful and his teeth were a solid white. He was clean. I never did dirty.

  I had to ease his nerves and get some banter going if I was going to bring his best game out of him. This was his first time cheating on Ms. Cropped Hair and I could tell.

  “I’ll leave the drink up to you,” I said, lowering my eyes. I patted his thigh and grazed my hand over his crotch—just barely—to get him started. This was going to be easy, but I preferred if they came with more confidence. He was instantly hard. Poor thing, he was starving.

  “Looks like you could skip your drink, Jace,” I whispered, studying the hard line in his pants.

  “No,” he said, giving me the look I knew was made for men; the look that said ‘I am going to tear your ass up.’ The look I craved. The look I needed daily.

  I had to ask the question I always did. “What are you thinking?”

  “Tequila.” I stifled the disappointed look I felt until he surprised me. “Then making you raw.”

  Now you are talking, Jace.

  “Patron,” I smiled playfully, grabbing a lime from the condiment tray next to us on the bar, sucking it dry.

  We took three shots as our eyes sized each other up in anticipation. A few lines of small talk and I was over it. I had no desire to know more than his name, and even
that wasn’t necessary. I gave him the come hither index finger as I grabbed my clutch. Tonight I was in snug fitting jeans that hugged my ass and long legs perfectly, a strapless black halter top that showed a huge amount of cleavage and expensive red high heels that I stole from my neighbor, Rory. She wouldn’t mind. I would put them back before she noticed. I had the darkest shade of red lipstick on and I put my shoulder length auburn hair in a sharp ponytail so he could see as much exposed skin as possible. I made it to the stairs of my apartment around the corner without saying a word to him. He stayed a few steps behind me for one of two reasons. Either he was rethinking the whole situation, or he was thinking of ways to make me scream. This made me smile as I turned to look back at him. He did not return it.

  “What is it with you?”

  I froze at my bottom step. “Sorry?”

  “You just offer me sex, no strings, nothing more, knowing I have a girlfriend and you still don’t care?”

  “You already had time to think about this, Jace. I’m not going to try and convince you of anything.”

  “I’m not backing out. I just want to know … why?”

  “Let’s just say it’s the way I’m built.”

  “Like a man?”

  I turned to him with a small seductive smile and said, “Definitely not.”

  I leaned in, towering over him standing on the first step.

  “Can I at least know your name?”

  “Nadine.”

  “God, that’s beautiful. You are so beautiful.”

  “I’m also a sure thing. Save the compliments.”

  “Wow.” He grinned at me now, his eyes still incredulous.

  I gave him another small smile and leaned in closer, grazing my hand over the evident bulge in his pants, moving my fingers slowly back and forth. I heard his sharp intake of breath as he stared at me. I wanted the look. It was not there yet. I undid his fly, looking around to make sure my display went unnoticed. He placed his hands on each of the hand rails of the staircase. I saw his smirk disappear as I took him in my grasp, firmly stroking him as I watched his eyes dilate. He looked around in a daze, as if what was happening was not real, before finding my eyes again. There it was.

  I carefully tucked his hard length back into his pants and ascended the stairs slowly, hearing him zip his fly and follow, his steps echoing each one of mine. He was so close I could feel his chest on my back at my front door. He turned me quickly and leaned in to kiss me. I took his mouth just in time to meet his tongue, feeling it glide across my teeth and reach deep into my mouth. He was good with that tongue, and I was ready to put it to use.

  “God, you taste good,” he whispered after releasing me so I could get my key into my door.

  I made it three steps in when he grabbed me by the waist, bringing me flush to him, grinding his hardness into my back.

  “Not yet.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Do you want something to drink?”

  “Hell no.” He turned me to him and his lips found mine again, this time more greedy, less friendly. I wanted hostile and I was not about to settle until I saw I was going to get it. I pressed against his chest and he released me, the bulge in his pants more obvious, an intrigued and confused look on his face. I loved the way he towered over me. Tall men were my favorite; I loved feeling small next to them as I made them beg for it.

  I kicked off my heels and slowly peeled off all of my clothing piece by piece, keeping his gaze and leaving the underwear I had put on at the laundry mat.

  “Fuck,” he said to me, walking my way. I put my hand up and stopped him and he cursed, frustrated. “What?” he snapped, but softened his tone repeating the question. “What?” Jace was not himself. He was almost there.

  “Nothing. Just making sure you have protection.”

  He pulled a condom out of his pocket and I gave him a wicked smile. I took the few short steps to reach him, dropped to my knees and pulled down his pants, revealing his perfect erection. I grabbed it roughly with both hands and heard him gasp. I licked the moisture off the tip and heard him cry out a little. I took him inside my mouth and exhaled a moan simultaneously, making sure I had every single inch of him standing at attention.

  “Jesus,” he gasped again before saying my name, cupping my face until I felt more salty moisture enter my mouth. He was ready and I was dripping. Nothing turned me on more than a helpless man hard in my mouth, at my mercy. I gave just enough attention to keep him on the edge.

  “Now I’m all yours,” I said, recovering from my knees to meet his darkened eyes. I knew he would make good on his promise to get me raw. His jaw was set, his whole body tense. I had done my job, now it was time to reap the benefits. Without another word he turned me away from him. I felt my panties disappear as he tongue kissed my back. He stopped at the top of my thighs and kissed his way in between them, parting my legs as his fingers began to tease me.

  “Further,” he snapped, on the edge of losing his composure. I happily obliged as I felt more fingers enter me and cried out in pleasure as my orgasm began to form deep inside. I braved a look over my shoulder and saw pure fire in his eyes. This was going to be fun. He plunged his fingers in and out as I moaned and praised him. He continued rubbing and circling me as he ripped a condom wrapper with his teeth and spare hand. As soon as he fit himself with it, it was over.

  He bent me over completely, as if he was picturing me back at laundry mat. I gave a small smile knowing this was probably what he was thinking. I did not hesitate. I was about to get the best of Jace, probably better than the girl who claimed him as hers had ever had. I felt every hard inch of him as he buried himself inside. We both cried out in unison as he pulled himself out fully again, rubbing my center with the tip of himself before thrusting back in even harder. He took me down on all fours, ramming into me while caressing my ass and circling his fingers on my sweet spot with the opposite hand. This is how I loved it, this is how I craved it, but I needed a little more.

  “I want to see your face,” I told him as he circled his hips to make sure I felt every inch of him. He quickly turned me over and laid me on the floor, my legs hooked over his shoulders.

  There it was, the look I was after. His eyes were intense, dilated, full of longing, hungry, and perfect, the look only a man gives when he is completely and utterly aroused and wants only one woman.

  He was mine.

  His pace was quickening as well as his intensity and I gasped as he used his finger to steal some moisture from me and brought it to his lips. As soon as he had a taste he withdrew himself from me and buried his face between my thighs, licking me from one end to the other, lapping me up and pushing his fingers in. He lifted my entire lower half and devoured me, licking and teasing, moaning as he worked me over thoroughly.

  That was definitely the best of Jace, I thought as my orgasm shook me. I made sure not to claw too hard at his shoulders, wanting to leave no trace.

  He brought his mouth over mine and hovered as he adjusted himself back to my entrance.

  “Nadine,” he breathed my name and covered my throat with his kiss. “God.” He thrust himself inside again and slowly stroked in and out, my name on his lips, his hands covering my breasts in a caress. He slowed his pace to almost a dead stop, grinding every inch of himself into me with his hips. It was so good. Perfect.

  “I want to come all over you.”

  “So do it,” I murmured looking at him, taking in every second of his undeniable lust for me.

  He picked up his pace until my pulse was pounding in my ears. I saw nothing but white behind my eyes as the second wave shook me. I finished in time to see him rip the condom off and scream out to me. I pumped my fist around him and cupped his sac to milk him of every last drop, feeling the evidence of him falling in hot droplets all over me.

  I saw it in his face. I had just given him the best orgasm of his life. He was thankful. I gave him a knowing grin and excused myself to the shower.

  “You can see yourself out. G
oodnight,” I called out from the bathroom before shutting the door.

  Once out of my scalding shower, I fully expected him to be gone. At least I hoped he would be. But he was waiting for me on the couch.

  “I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. That’s kind of messed up, Nadine.”

  “Look, I know it is. And I know I’m not your typical girl, but this was casual sex, which is all I truly wanted from you. So can we just call it what it is? Say goodnight and goodbye.”

  “You know I have a girlfriend but—”

  “But nothing, Jace. That’s what attracted me to you in the first place. I don’t want to see you again.”

  “So this is over?”