Finding Mr. Happily Ever After_Nathan
Page 2
The night of the dance, Nathan and Angela danced so close that Jazz couldn’t have fit a toothpick between them if she’d tried. The school chaperones broke them apart several times before they disappeared behind the bleachers to do God knows what.
God knew, but Jazz didn’t.
And Tony had even less of a clue than she did. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, pulling her tighter into his arms. “I was so excited when you asked me out, to find out you liked me, too.”
Jazz forced a smile. Had Tony not seen her watching Nathan the entire night? Had she somehow sent him mixed signals? Guilt tugged at her heart. Now she was doing to Tony what Nathan was unwittingly doing to her. What a horrible merry-go-round of torture.
Before she had the chance to apologize or explain herself, Tony dropped his head and kissed her on the lips. It was wet and sloppy and completely gross.
Jazz’s first kiss.
And it was not with Nathan as she’d hoped. This was one first she could never get back, and she hated herself for that.
Three
Jazz groaned uncomfortably as Nathan gave Sue Ella Higgins a long and slurpy-sounding kiss goodbye in front of the old flag pole at the entrance to Kennedy High.
“Relax, Susie Q,” she cried to her best friend’s newest girlfriend as she grabbed him by the collar of his letter jacket and pulled him off his blonde-locked, air-headed flavor of the month. “He’s just going home, not off to war!”
“C’mon, lover boy,” she said to Nathan, bounding forward at a quick pace. “Try to keep up.”
He laughed and jogged after her. “Jealous much, Jazzy J?”
She waved to the school secretary, who was watching them through the main office window. “No, and don’t call me that.”
She’d been fiercely jealous of Nathan’s first girlfriend, Angela de Martinez, and maybe a tiny bit jealous of his second girlfriend, Ramona Wzarcheck. By the time Nathan had worked his way through LaToya Barnes, Nadia Alif, and Mary Jane Blythe, she had stopped feeling much of anything.
At least Nathan Reed was an equal opportunity playboy. The one thing all his girlfriends had in common was their boobs were infinitely bigger than their brains.
Sure, she’d been jealous in eighth grade, but they were high schoolers now—freshmen. The time had come to discover who they were and what they would be in the world. Even though Jazz hadn’t the slightest clue about that, she would choose brains over beauty any day of the week—and that made her irreconcilably different from her BFF who chose beauty every single time.
After a line of minivans passed, Jazz crossed the street, eager to get home. She had a chapter to read for English and a problem set to finish for Geometry.
“So, Jazz, I was thinking…” Nathan jogged forward and then turned to walk backward before her so they could talk face to face.
“Well, that would be a first for you,” she quipped, rolling her eyes.
“Shut up and listen to me,” he said, preparing to launch another hare-brained scheme her way, no doubt. That was her Nathan, always scheming about something and always asking her along for the ride. Luckily, most of his ideas were ones she enjoyed putting into action. Would this one be that way, too?
“Okay, so you should volunteer for the homecoming committee,” he informed her. “Like as the chair.”
“Okay.” As a breeze rustled the tree branches, a black bird rode the air currents. Jazz wanted that kind of purpose someday. But until she figured out where she was going, how could she ever take the leap and fly?
She turned to Nathan, realizing he was waiting for her to say more. “Why?”
“Well, you need activities and stuff to look good on your college applications, right? And since you suck at sports, I thought maybe you could do this.”
“I don’t suck at sports.” Even as she spoke the words, she knew they weren’t true. Her mom had forced her to play softball throughout elementary school, yet she’d never managed a base hit. Not one single time in almost five years.
Jazz bit back a sigh. She did suck at sports, but she also knew they weren’t even a little bit important in the large scheme of things. Well, life.
Nathan bumped her shoulder with his as he fell back into step beside her. “You do, but it’s okay. I love you anyway.”
She rolled her eyes. “Well, as long as you love me, baby.”
“I will always love you-oo-oo-ooh!” Nathan crooned. Reciting song titles to each other was one of their favorite pastimes. The more obscure the reference, the more points awarded, though they’d stopped keeping score many years ago.
They both laughed at his terrible rendition of Whitney Houston’s classic love song. Nathan could never manage to hit the high notes, but—God bless him—he always tried.
He fell back into step beside her. “But anyway, about the committee… I mean me and Sue Ella will probably be king and queen for the freshman class. And if you’re on the committee, you can make sure the decorations match my eyes or whatever.”
“Nathan Reed, you have brown eyes. Do you want a poop-themed homecoming? Because I refuse to be a part of that.”
He grabbed her hand and squeezed it in his. For having a strictly platonic relationship, they sure held hands a lot—but that was just the way they were. And honestly, she liked that.
Jazz and Nathan.
Nathan and Jazz.
He sighed, then turned his aforementioned poop-brown eyes at her. “You’ve got me. It’s really just a way to spend more time together. Please, Jazzy? Please.”
“Well, I do. Cherish you,” she sang in response, squeezing his hand as they walked past Mr. Smith mowing his lawn.
“Great, then maybe you can make some new friends, huh?”
“What do I need friends for? I have you, and, believe me, you are more than enough.”
“C’mon, Jazz. Can’t you picture it? You make all these sexy new friends and then invite them for sleepovers, and I’ll—”
“Peep at us through the window? No, thank you!” She thought about the times she’d glanced across the yard and into his room without his knowledge, and her cheeks grew hot with the hypocrisy of her protest.
“It was worth a try.”
They turned the corner onto their home street right on schedule. The two of them took this same walk together twice per day five times per week. Nothing ever changed.
Nathan pulled her into his chest, causing Jazz to stumble from the unexpected motion. He was so strong and warm. Her heart beat like a snare drum roll.
What was happening? She straightened to put space between them. That was better.
“I mean it,” he said, thankfully not noticing her reaction to him. “You need more friends. It’s too much pressure on me.”
Wait. What? She thought about his words. “Pressure? How is being my friend pressure?”
“No, not being your friend. I don’t mean that. You know what I mean. I mean… Ugh.” Jazz could practically see smoke pouring out from Nathan’s ears as his brain worked overtime trying to put his inane thoughts into words.
“My mom!” he yelled, startling Jazz. “If she didn’t have her family and friends, she would be alone in our house all day with nothing to do but cook and clean.”
Jazz looked toward Nathan’s house, hoping his mother wasn’t out in the yard to overhear him. “Your mom is the most social person I know, and she loves to cook and clean.”
“Yeah, that’s my point,” Nathan said all too eagerly. “Now think about your mom.”
“What about my mom? She has two jobs and hardly ever a moment free.”
“That’s the other point. She doesn’t have anyone since your dad left. She’s all alone.”
“She’s got me.” Wherever Nathan was going with this, Jazz didn’t like it.
“But you’re a burden, not a support.”
“Excuse me?” Jazz wasn’t the slapping kind, but if she’d had a drink, she’d have tossed it in his face. Just like angry sitcom women did whenever a guy overstepped
his bounds—and Nathan had definitely overstepped.
He sighed as if it were her fault that she didn’t understand, rather than his for doing such a poor job explaining himself. “No, you know what I mean.”
“Actually, I don’t know what you mean, and I’m getting pretty offended here, so backpedal quickly, Reed, while you still have a bike left to ride.”
He raised his hands in surrender, but kept talking anyway. “All I’m saying is you know I love you and will always be here for you, but one person isn’t enough, Jazz. You need some kind of insurance, some kind of plan B.”
Well, this had come out of nowhere, as far as Jazz was concerned. What had happened all of a sudden to drive such a wedge between them? Had he finally discovered her feelings—and was he looking to make a graceful exit from their friendship? She couldn’t come right out and ask him, so she did what she always did when faced with an uncomfortable situation—she made a joke.
“Are you breaking up with me? Because, hate to break it to you, we aren’t even dating. Unless I’m even more confused than I thought.”
“No, I’m just trying to look out for you.” He drew his brows together as if trying to be serious, but something that looked like confusion flashed in his eyes. “You’re like a little sister to me. You know that.”
“Well, you have an awful way of showing it,” Jazz spat, trying to hide the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. His little sister, of course. That’s all she would ever be, and she needed to get used to it.
His eyes widened as if he only now noticed how much this conversation had hurt her, but he still had no idea why. He couldn’t ever know.
“Jazz, Jazz, no. I didn’t mean…” He tried to make her feel better, just as he always did, but it wasn’t working this time. “I’m an idiot, okay? Forget I said anything.”
“Okay. But next time, don’t say it,” she snapped before rushing into her house to avoid saying more.
That night after she’d finished her homework, Jazz glanced at Nathan’s window. The blinds were closed, but the light was on. So close, but so far away. The story of her life. She almost laughed until she wanted to cry.
Time to pull myself together.
She’d thought she’d put her crush on him behind her and moved on, but she’d been clinging to him. Still, that was on her, not Nathan. He hadn’t known why his words had hurt her so much, but his friendship meant too much to let her feelings—ones she knew he’d never return—get in the way.
When Nathan picked her up for their daily walk to school the next morning, she had already forgiven him—and he didn’t try bringing up the conversation again, thank goodness.
By the time homecoming rolled around, Jazz had made a few new friends on the committee—but she would honestly trade them all for Nathan. How come he needed so many people to make him happy when she only needed him?
That night at the dance, as she watched her best friend accept the homecoming king crown beside his newest new girlfriend, Misty Cartwright, Jazz asked herself if she’d rather stay Nathan’s friend forever than risk losing him for the chance at going after something more.
It was a no brainer, even if the truth hurt.
She would always be his confidant, but never his queen.
Four
Seated at the kitchen table, Jazz studied the glossy photo in her hand before taking her craft scissors and cutting off the person on either edge. That left her and Nathan together in the center of the shot. Both dressed in their homecoming best freshman year. Together as always, even though they weren’t together together. Hard to believe a year and a half had passed when that night felt like it had happened just yesterday.
She trimmed the edges further, creating a tight circle around their chests and faces, then slathered the back with her glue stick and pushed it into the collage.
Today was Nathan’s sixteenth birthday—the big sweet—and she was making him a memory book since neither she nor her mom had the money to buy him a flashy present. Besides, there was something so quaint about seeing all these printed glossies off the screen, just like in the olden days before everyone’s arms became permanently attached to their iPhones and Androids.
Jazz had been one of the last holdouts to getting her own cell phone. Sometimes friends made fun of her, but she shrugged them off saying that she preferred real-life, face-to-face conversations to texting. Nobody but Nathan knew the reason was because her mom couldn’t afford to purchase one.
Then one day a couple of weeks back, Nathan had surprised her with a sleek, silver phone she could call her own. “There’s this multiple lines family plan thing now. I asked my mom if we could add you and she agreed. Happy early half birthday.”
Yes, half birthdays were a thing for her and Nathan, mostly because their special days were exactly six months apart—which meant that, today, while Nathan was turning sweet sixteen, she’d officially become a fifteen and a half year old.
Pretty much a woman already.
Not that Nathan had noticed.
She brushed her thumb across a picture of Nathan in his JV football uniform. Number fifteen. It was their lucky number, because both their birthdays fell on the fifteenth of their respective months—his in November and hers in May.
Her cell phone buzzed on the table amidst the discarded photo fragments, glue sticks, and glitter—because whether or not he would publicly admit it, Nathan loved an added bit of razzle dazzle.
N8 THE GR8: What you doing?
* * *
JAZZ: Finishing up your gift.
* * *
N8 THE GR8: Oooh, what is it?
* * *
JAZZ: You’ll find out tonight.
* * *
N8 THE GR8: Tell me now.
* * *
JAZZ: No.
* * *
N8 THE GR8: Please?
* * *
JAZZ: NO.
* * *
N8 THE GR8: :(
* * *
JAZZ: Don’t give me that sad face. You know I’m immune to it.
* * *
N8 THE GR8: Fine. See you tonight. HHBD. Happy Half Birthday.
* * *
JAZZ: HBD.
That night, Nathan had a small birthday party filled mostly with other football players and their girlfriends. Nathan, for once, was unattached, which meant that maybe, just maybe, he would finally realize that Jazz was the perfect girl for him.
Deep down, he had to know that they were meant to be together. Why else would he cycle through an endless chain of girlfriends, each relationship shorter than the last? Why else would he stay home with her every Friday night instead of spending that time with his girlfriends? It had to mean something—and even Nathan would figure it out eventually. That is, if he hadn’t already.
The party was a bust since Nathan’s mother had insisted that she chaperone, which meant no seven minutes in heaven, no spin the bottle, no booze, and no dancing.
“Let’s head to the strip,” Red, Nathan’s best guy friend, said, rallying a crowd of supporters.
“No can do,” Nathan answered, shooting Jazz a mischievous glance while trying—and failing—to hide a bemused smile. “I’ve got plans.”
“Whatever, man. See you at school tomorrow.” Red led the rest of the disappointed partygoers from the house and toward the lame strip mall the kids at Kennedy High had dubbed their hangout.
Once the others cleared out, Nathan turned to Jazz again. “You ready to go?”
“Ready.” She could hardly contain her excitement. Their special after-birthday tradition was one of her favorite things in the entire world. She looked forward to it even more than usual on this day, because this could be the big romantic moment she’d been waiting for practically all her life.
“Let me grab your gift from my house. Meet me outside?” She hadn’t wanted Nathan to open her present in front of his friends. This was personal, between the two of them. She hoped to use the collage of memories as a segue into discussing their re
lationship. Mainly how they were perfect for each other and should just succumb to their happily ever after right then and there. And also how she had been dying for him to kiss her—like literally dying. If he didn’t kiss her soon, she might not live through high school.
He tossed a wink her way and made a gun gesture with his hand. “You’ve got it, J.”
A few minutes later, she found herself climbing into the passenger side of his car. She’d been in the old Chrysler 300 before, but never in the front seat. This had been Nathan’s dad’s car up until today. Now his father had a brand-new BMW, and Nathan had his own set of wheels.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
He turned toward her with a serious expression on his handsome, tanned face. “To make-out point.”
Jazz gulped. “So, back to the 1950’s?” She searched the dashboard and glove compartment, hoping Nathan didn’t catch the heat rising to her face. “I didn’t realize your dad had installed a time machine. Where is it? How do I turn it on?”
Nathan laughed as he shifted into drive and zoomed off down the street. His lack of experience showed as the car jerked forward under the command of his lead foot.
“Slow down, killer. You’ve got no one here to impress but little old me.” Did he want to impress her? Did he maybe like her, too? A thrill shot through her.
“I just want to get us there so I can find out what you got me,” he admitted, staring straight ahead and clumsily fiddling with the radio as he drove.
About ten minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of their old elementary school.