by Norah Wilson
“You’re not alone! You have me. You have Maryanne.”
“How long before I lose you too? Before I push you away forever? Or hurt you forever, like I almost did this time.” Brooke shook her head and stared up through the ice in such sad defeat, it broke Alex’s heart. “Go, Alex.”
“The light!” Maryanne screamed, and Alex heard her on both consciousnesses. Clearly from above, and muffled from down in the ice. “The portal’s closing!”
The portal was closing—hurry when she sees you, go through the door.
Not without Brooke.
“Well, that’s just fine and dandy, then,” Alex said. “We’ll both live happily ever after as Mansbridge Hellers.”
“Don’t be an ass.”
Alex steeled herself. “If you won’t do it for you, do it for me. Because guess what, Saunders, I’m not going without you.”
“You can’t do that!” Brooke cried.
“Watch me. Or don’t watch me. All the same.” She crossed her arms in what she hoped looked like a move of determination. “We’re in this together. We always were. Always will be. I’m not casting back in without you.”
Alex knew the words were affecting Brooke. That’s what they were meant to do. She also knew something else—those words were true. She wouldn’t go without Brooke. She’d stay down here with her as long as it took. Till the hunters found them or didn’t, till the night’s silver was gone, and they could only cry with the gleam of the sun. Until that ice melted away and they went back through hell, and back again and again as the hunters chased them down. This girl—this frustrating, destructive girl—was more than her friend. Brooke was her sister. She would stick by her. “I mean it, Brooke. You’re going to blast through that ice with me, or I’m not going at all.”
Brooke turned her head to her. “You…you’d do that for me? You’d risk…everything? For me?”
“Just like you would for me and Maryanne,” Alex said. “God, Brooke!”
Brooke nodded. “I would. Okay,” Brooke said softly. “Okay, I’ll…I’ll go back.”
Alex felt the rush of relief. She’d gotten through to her. But she had to be sure. “Promise me, Brooke,” Alex shouted. “Vow it on our sisterhood! You’ll go through that ice when I do.”
“I vow it. I’ll go through the ice too. And Alex…”
“Thank God!”
“I would risk everything for you too.”
Alex nodded. “I know.” Above her, Maryanne cried out again for them to hurry, but Alex hadn’t needed the warning. She could see for herself that the door of light was narrowing. Physically, her half-frozen body was sinking all the more into the ice. She could feel the frigid water soaking her clothing all the more, pulling her down all the more. She was half numb with the cold.
“Okay, we’re going to do this now and we’re going to do this together.” Alex said, her voice shaky. “On the count of three.”
“Yes,” Brooke said. “On three.”
They began in unison. “One…two…”
Alex grabbed one of Brooke’s caster hands. She squeezed tightly.
She should have grabbed them both.
“Three!” they cried. “I want—”
“—in!” Alex shouted.
She was the only one who did; Brooke was profoundly silent as her grip ripped from Alex’s hand.
The pain was excruciating as Alex shot through the ice and back into her body.
It should have been fast—it was fast—but in the reality of those moments, time slowed down so much it throbbed in her horrified mind. As she broke through the ice, so did Brooke. But while Alex’s cast had blasted up and reunited back with her body, Brooke’s dark hands reached through the already shattered ice, closing on her body.
The force of Alex’s re-entry sent her body flying into the air, but she twisted her head, keeping her gaze locked on Brooke. An arm linked over her original, she pulled her body down into the pond, into the freezing water. Both disappeared.
Alex was screaming even before she came down hard on the ground. All that stopped her from cracking her skull was that she threw her arms over her head at the last second. Even so, her head rang with the impact.
Dizziness overwhelmed her, but she had to hang on. Brooke! She’d never be able to pull her body out again. Her cast was too depleted, her original virtually paralyzed.
“Help her.” Alex didn’t even know if she’d managed a whisper.
Pain shot through her arms as she rolled to her side. Focusing, she met Maryanne’s terrified stare. Her mouth was moving—she had to be talking. Through the dwindling din of ringing, Alex began piecing together what Maryanne was saying. Then at once, she heard all of it so frantically. “Alex! What’s happened to Brooke? Alex!”
Oh God. That vow! Their vow was to go through the ice together. Brooke had kept her literal promise, but she’d gone through the ice the other way! Which was what she’d meant to do all along, to save Alex.
She’d sacrificed herself.
Alex tried to sit up, but there was no way she could. “Bryce, save her! She’s drowning!”
He started to shake. Tears streamed down his face.
He was terrified. Literally scared stiff. He couldn’t move.
“Goddamn Hellers!”
The hunters! John Smith had delayed them, but he hadn’t stopped them. They were almost there.
And Alex knew what she had to do. The only thing she could do to save her beloved sister. “Help us!” Alex cried. “The Mansbridge Heller is here!”
The hunters would be racing now. If they heard her, they’d have to be.
“They’ll be too late!” Maryanne’s words sliced into Alex. “Too late to save Brooke!”
She was right. They all knew she was right.
Chapter 35
Said and Done
Brooke
Brooke saw the last portal disappear as Alex’s cast shot up and through it, and as Brooke pulled her body down to her. Then she let her body go; let it drop, so heavy with clothing. Alex was safe. Maryanne was too.
The last of the stones started slowly falling, gently falling. Shards of glass shone under the glow of dispersed moonlight. Then they didn’t.
Help me!
She’d spontaneously held her breath when she’d pulled her body under, and her body now begged for air. Her lungs screamed. She’d never felt an urge so deeply visceral and strong as the urge to get her head above water. Yet she couldn’t. Her body was still paralyzed. Helpless. Her cast was too heavy, too depleted, to pull her body back out.
She hadn’t wanted to die. She’d only meant to save her sisters. And for the lonely pain to stop.
But she’d done it now, screwed herself for good.
Brooke’s cast fell with her body down to the pond’s bottom. The last of the spent crystals now fell down as if to bury her. Unable to watch her original die, she turned away, trying to shut out what was happening.
She couldn’t help it—her original opened her mouth as it begged to swallow air, and only took in water. More water. The pain was unbearable as cold water seared her lungs. Terror gripped her. Air! Oh God, her body needed air. She wrapped her leaded arms around her original in the only comfort she could give.
She thought of Maryanne and Alex. Her mother.
She would miss them all.
Seth Walker.
She’d carry the loneliness forever now, in her caster heart.
They’d weep for her—she knew they would. How she wanted to weep for herself.
And then—
Strong arms wrapped around her body and pulled it from her caster grip.
Chapter 36
Eyes Wide Open
Maryanne
Maryanne’s heart was in her throat as Bryce stumbled from the water. His eyes! The moonlight reflected in them. No, not reflected—shone—in them.
She swallowed hard.
Bryce hurried. Maryanne knew it had taken every bit of courage he had to jump into that freezing wate
r, to face his own nightmare, his own hell. But he had. As he held Brooke, as he looked down at her, Maryanne suspected he knew now what they knew.
He still might have been too late.
Brooke lay ghostly pale and limp across his arms. Her head hung down as did one arm that bobbed with every step Bryce took. Her wet clothes were plastered against her too thin frame.
Bryce placed her down beside Maryanne, then he sank to his knees beside them both.
The pain in Maryanne’s leg was forgotten as she propped herself up and turned toward Brooke’s body.
“Is she dead?” Alex dragged herself to Brooke’s side. “Oh no! No! Brooke, don’t be dead!”
Maryanne checked for a pulse—nothing.
But she couldn’t give up.
Now pain did shoot through her as she moved into position over Brooke. Her leg! Oh crap, it hurt so bad. It was probably fractured. Under any other circumstances, Maryanne wouldn’t have moved at all until the medics strapped her up. But she’d lose that limb before she’d let Brooke go. She would put that pain aside until she could deal with it. Put it over there. Not now! she commanded her body.
“Oh God,” she said. “Please don’t let it be too late to save my sister.”
Maryanne’s hands were numb and almost blue with cold, and yet Brooke’s chin felt like ice as Maryanne tilted her head back. She pinched her nose closed and breathed out, forcing air into Brooke. Chest compressions. Over and over. Another breath. She’d had first aid training, but this wasn’t a practice dummy. This was frighteningly real!
This was Brooke!
“Come on!” Alex cried, “Come back to us, Brooke.”
“Please,” Bryce whispered. “No…no more deaths.”
Oh Brooke, please be okay. Maryanne pleaded silently, though it felt like a scream welling on the inside. This was the same plea she’d made to Jason, her little J-Bug, when she’d tried to breathe life back into him; only the name was different. Heaven hadn’t heard her. Jason Hemlock had never breathed again.
She couldn’t lose Brooke too!
Dear Lord, let her be okay. Let her live! Let her…
Suddenly, Brooke’s body convulsed as she spewed forth water.
“Quick!” Maryanne ordered. “Turn her onto her side!”
Bryce didn’t hesitate. He rolled Brooke onto her left side.
Maryanne fell backwards. She watched Brooke closely as she puked up what seemed like an impossible amount of water. Beside her, Alex sat perfectly unmoving. Finally, Brooke stopped and she gasped. Then her breathing steadied.
“Okay, Bryce,” Maryanne said.
Gently, he rolled her onto her back again, cradling her head on his knee. He put a hand over her forehead in a comforting gesture.
“She’s okay,” Bryce said. He looked from Alex to Maryanne, clearly looking for reassurance. “Right?”
But Maryanne didn’t know. Brooke’s eyes were closed. “Are you…are you there? Are you back?”
“Of course she’s back!” Alex said. “That was the deal! We were all going to cast back in together. She went through the ice, just like we did—”
“No,” Maryanne said. “Not like we did, and you know it.”
Brooke’s eyes blinked open. At first they were unfocused, empty. They were not caster-wide. Slowly they seemed to focus, but Brooke only stared ahead blankly.
“Look at me now, Brooke,” Maryanne barked. “Right now, Saunders.” She snapped her fingers repeatedly. But Brooke continued to stare up past her, her body unmoving.
Then Maryanne felt a complete and thorough chill. It had nothing to do with her cold and wet clothing, or the deepening night. Or even the hunters approaching.
Brooke wasn’t staring ahead at nothing. Not at all.
Maryanne turned her head slowly and saw what Brooke’s eyes were beholding.
It was Brooke’s own dark and empty, defeated cast hovering above them.
She hadn’t made it back.
Chapter 37
Scream
Brooke
The crystals had lost their shine and had fallen down to the pond’s bottom. Even those special stones that had been the Madonna’s eyes. The chunks of broken ice bobbed up and down on the water. The etching of the mother and child was lost now. The particles of glass from the painting that John Smith had saved were gone.
The portals were closed. Only the vaguest vision of the Madonna and child, true to the window, remained, and Brooke wondered if it only remained there for those who needed it still. For those who still needed to escape their pain, those trapped in their fear
Brooke’s remorse—her grief—was so deep it absolutely cut through her. Her personal hell was all she had left, and she’d cast herself so deep into the lonely pit of it, there was no climbing back out. It was as eternal as the hunters had wanted it to be.
Yet now more so than ever, those hunters would keep hunting.
“I…I had to make sure you got back,” Brooke said. “It was my fault. It…it was all my fault.”
But Alex said nothing. Maryanne didn’t either.
They don’t even hear me! Brooke realized. None of them could hear her unless she shrieked her caster pain. Oh God, how she wanted to shriek now, that barely containable caster pain.
“Oh…oh Brooke,” Maryanne said. She reached out a hand, but Brooke started to back away.
That’s what she had to do. Now…and forever. Just back away! And it’s what she should have done all along. Let them forget about her. Go on with their lives.
Alex staggered to her feet. “Wait!”
She couldn’t. Not just because the hunters were coming—they’d always be coming. It was that the pain that threatened to erupt in a caster shriek that would surely shatter them all. Just as it verged on shattering her psyche.
“Stop right there!” Alex stumbled forward despite the fear she tried to hide. “You stop right now, Brooke Saunders, or I’ll be hunting you myself!”
Brooke halted.
“We’ll get you out of this,” Alex said.
Maryanne nodded. “We will! I promise.”
“So do I,” Bryce said. “I promise it too.”
Alex took one more step forward. It took every bit of courage Brooke had not to shoot away. Then Alex stumbled a few more steps, and Brooke hovered in trembling disbelief as she wrapped her scraped, bleeding arms around her.
“Do it,” Alex said. “Do what you have to do. Shriek to the high heavens for what’s happened to you. For what’s been done to you. Scream at the loneliness. Scream at the regret. Let the whole damned world know your pain and start with me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about hiding the diary and the doll from you and Maryanne. I’m sorry if for one moment I made you feel any less than loved, wanted. Less than my sister. Because you are. That doesn’t change, Brooke. It never will. I swear, with every damn drop of my existence, I will get you out of this. I will get you back.”
Brooke felt herself weakening in Alex’s arms. Letting go. Oh God, dare she? Dare she truly cry out with all that pain inside her?
“The hunters are coming,” Alex said. “Scream at them. Roar your rage! Roar your pain and I’ll hold you like you held me in the attic months ago. Let the world know how badly you hurt inside. Then soar away, Brooke. Survive! Sometimes survival is all we have to start with. But it’s not all we have to hold on to. You can hold me.”
“You have no choice!” Maryanne sobbed. On the ground, she caressed Brooke’s cold, pale face. She leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Because we’re not letting you go.”
Brooke’s cast tensed. She could pull away. Dammit, she should pull away. Race like hell even now—especially now—in this closeness. Didn’t they see it! Didn’t they know? They’d all screwed her over, and she’d screwed herself for good! She was the ultimate pariah now. The ultimate outcast!
Except she wasn’t. Not with Alex and Maryanne. Even now.
And these two—her sisters—they mattered the most.
The wind ros
e. It blew around them all. Not just past, but around in a powerful clockwise way.
“Let it out,” Maryanne whispered.
“I have you,” Alex said. “We have you. We always will.”
And it was those words, those attestations, that ripped through Brooke the most. She let loose the scream she’d wanted to let loose since forever. All her pain—all her anger, the rejection, the emotional abuse. Maybe it was because she could shriek with Alex’s arms around her, that she did so thoroughly.
Brooke erupted in waves of gut-wrenching wails. It shot through her and from her. She doubled over with them, fought them, but nothing had ever wanted out so badly as this pain she’d kept inside. Alex tried to smother the screams. Brooke knew how those screams tore at her psyche from first-hand experience. Still, Alex held her tightly, and no, not just to muffle the sound. She wouldn’t let Brooke’s sanity escape her in this darkest hour of her soul.
When she finally stopped, there was only silence.
Bang!
A shotgun blast pierced the silence, but it was just a warning shot. The hunters were very close now, but still not within shotgun range.
“Oh no,” Maryanne cried. Her voice was shaky.
“I had to tell them we saw a Heller,” Alex said. “We needed them to hurry here to save you from drowning.” She gestured to her body. “We—”
“It’s because of me. If I’d acted faster…” Bryce’s voice shook, as did the rest of his body. Brooke knew that the deep trembling had more to do with the shrieking than the frigid dip he’d taken. “I was practically paralyzed with fear. I’m so sorry.” He caught his breath on a broken sob.
Brooke shook her head. Poor Bryce! And she looked at the Walker, this grandson of the hunter who now stood with—
Holy crap! His eyes were caster-wide!
How?
“We see it too,” Maryanne whispered.
“Where are you, Heller whore? Show yourself so we can fill you full of iron!”
