The Heaven I Found In Hell

by Ashley Andrews

  It was his turn to give me a 'Huh?'

  "How are you going to ask her to the ball, duh!"

  "Just ask her…I guess." He said, scratching the back of his head in uneasiness.

  I found myself smiling at his look of discomfort. It looked too cute…like a dear caught in headlights…no. A lost puppy was more appropriate and fitting for someone like Anthony.

  "How will you stand out if you just ask her?"

  He shrugged his shoulders, and I found myself sighing, at a loss for thoughts. That's something new…

  "We need Nate."

  "I agree."

  I stood up from where I sat on, and made my way to Nathan's bedroom. I knocked on his door twice, and only entered his room when I heard him shout, "It's open!"

  I opened the door, as I hopped my way to the side of his bed. Anthony followed suit, before he sat at the edge of the bed, and I took the space nearest to Nathan.

  "I'm sorry I made you blush." I apologized, not in all-honesty since it was too cute of Nathan to become all-gooey and start blushing. Nathan was like the ideal everything…though he could be like Blake at times and act like he's all that, he could still humble himself. And when he did just that, it was heart melting…and every time that happened, my brain would always work a thousand kilometers per hour, as it tried to resist the urge to hug him.

  "Not forgiven." He said, giving me that familiar look of apathy whenever I hurt his inflated ego.

  I knelt on the bed, as I scooted myself closer to him, so that I could pinch his cheeks. Anthony, apparently finding this amusing, started to grin.

  "Nathan…" I started in a whiny voice. "I'm sorry…it's not my fault I'm so pretty that you couldn't stop your cheeks from reddening…"

  "Shut up." Nathan said, as he tried but failed to hide the smile slowly appearing on his face. "You're ruining my maleness…get out."

  I simply laughed at what he said, before I told him to focus his attention back to Anthony's problem. He immediately obliged, as the both of started to interrogate Anthony.

  "If you want to do something special, make sure it's related to something she really likes, because if it's not…then…she'll end up finding you weird, instead of sweet." I said, before I asked him what Riley liked the most.

  And without even thinking twice he mouthed out the word, "Soccer."

  "So…let's give her…" I trailed off thinking very carefully of the perfect dance invitation a high school senior could possibly give the girl of his dreams.

  "What? A soccer ball?" Nathan asked sarcastically. I slapped his chest, hard, before I turned my head back to Anthony.

  "Do you mind?" I asked the smaller one of the two, as I propped my legs up on his lap.

  He nodded, and mouthed out a, "Sure", before asking Nathan, "Are you really serious? Do you want me to give her a soccer ball?"

  Nathan shrugged his shoulder, put on a grin, and said, "That's what Alex is implying."

  "You got the wrong message!" I said, slapping him again, but in the arm this time. "How about give her twelve soccer balls?"

  Nathan gave me a look of incredulity.

  "Are you serious?" He asked, kicking the sheets off him.

  "You know a bouquet of roses…but instead of that cliché, it's going to be soccer balls for Riley."

  Nathan slammed his fists on the headboard while he laughed at me, not at all minding the offense I was going to take. Anthony, on the other hand, stayed quiet but by the look on his face, I could see that he didn't like my idea also.

  "Alex, babe…twelve soccer balls? I'd probably laugh if I was Riles and Anthony came prancing to me carrying twelve black-and-white balls…"

  "How about miniature soccer balls?"

  "Eh?" Both males said in unison.

  Did I really sound stupid…?

  "Fine…this is my last idea…can't think of anything else…" I said starting to explain to them the hopefully brilliant idea I had stored inside my head. They nodded as I continued talking, and after a few seconds they had smirks on their faces.

  "That…Alex Levi…can be called a suggestion, and not at all trash." Nathan said the smirk still carved on his almost-perfect tanned face.

  "I can do that." Anthony said, wearing a hopeful smile.

  * * *

  Chapter 9: Learning, Arguing, Bonding

  * * *

  "You're asking me to solve this?" I asked Cindy with an exasperated growl, as I held up the bond paper, and waved it in front of her face.

  It was a very sunny Thursday, but too bad I had to spend it in Cindy's dorm, instead of walking around and sipping a mocha frappe, just to pass tomorrow's test. Kendra, apparently Cindy's roomie, was at the soccer field for practice along with Riley and the guys, meaning we had this room for a good two hours. However, and sadly on my part, Cindy was only going to tutor me for an hour. She said she had to practice some speech due for next Monday, so I obliged though a little bit hesitantly. But now I was thanking her in my mind, that she rejected my invitation to make her tutor me for two hours. Only half an hour had gone by and I was now beat and I wanted to go to sleep.

  "Duh. What were you expecting to do?" She asked, sounding irritated because of my whining. She crossed her arms over her chest as she looked down at my paper and me with a look made up of curiosity and irritation.

  "I dunno…give me an easier problem?" I asked with a small smile. Not finding me cute at all, she 'hmph-ed', before she told me to stop acting like a kid.

  "Alex, the exercises I'm giving you are like the basics of Calculus. What could be easier?" She asked, definitely infuriated. "I had no idea models were so dumb…"

  I looked up from my paper, and then gave her a glare. "We're not dumb."

  She let out a laugh, before she continued giving me demeaning remarks. I wanted to curse her, and give her the bird, but realized sooner that that wouldn't be such a good idea. I looked down, away from her, and tapped the lead of my mechanical pencil on her wooden study.

  "You're not answering…"

  "How about you start, and I continue?" I suggested.

  She thought about my compromise carefully, before she opened her Math book again, and turned to a page we had previously discussed. She told me to move away from her desk, and I followed. She opened one of the drawers, and took out a sign pen, as she started to scribble things on my answer sheet.

  "You answer tests using a pen?" I asked the expression on my face was a mixture of disbelief and wonder.

  "Can you give me a better writing utensil?" She asked smugly.

  She scribbled down numbers and mathematical signs on the piece of bond paper, and after doing so she told me to continue.

  "Wow…Nathan told me you were good, I never thought you were that good." I told her, my newfound wonder for her capabilities starting to show. I looked at her in amazement, and didn't care if I looked silly for looking up to a person such as Cindy. How can someone so…bitchy…be so smart?

  "What does a pen prove?" She asked with a smirk, and I could see her ego starting to inflate.

  "When you use a pen, it means you don't have an eraser…and…" I scratched the back of my head, as I tried to look for a reasonable answer. "I don't know…I saw you start solving the problem with such ease."

  Her grin grew wider, and I immediately kicked my inner-self for complimenting such a woman. I should've guessed she wasn't the type of person to blush and mouth a small, shy 'thanks' when complimented. People like her shove their talents and achievements into other people's faces. Who could blame her? She was surrounded 24/7 by people like Blake and Nathan, but Nathan always made up for it since I knew every time he took pride in himself, it was always just a way of his to make me laugh, so I couldn't really blame him. He was egotistical for me. Ha-Ha.

  "I guessed I'm used to it."

  "But how come you're not part of the Math team?" I asked, still sitting on the computer chair with my pencil in my left hand (yes, I'm left-handed), while my right tried to stop the paper from flying. />
  She widened her eyes at me, before she sent me a laugh that gave me the feeling she thought of me as an 'innocent'. "That's social suicide, my dear."

  I laughed at her answer, before I nodded repeatedly to myself. Though I'm not one to put importance to the social hierarchy of High School since I've been home-schooled ever since I started my modeling career, Cindy had a point, and I agreed with her.

  "Isn't being part of the Debate Team social suicide as well?" I asked her, as I Indian-sat on the big comfy chair.

  She pondered my question carefully, before she nodded her head. "Kind of, but not really. I mean the reason I even got to debate was because of my tongue…"

  She said as she laughed, before she took a seat on the couch nearby. She lay down on the three-seater before she continued.

  "I know it sounds very nerdy, but last year I got into a fight with this classmate of mine, and we started arguing about something politics-related…our speech teacher saw us, and was apparently amazed with my comebacks because they were very factual…like I'd been watching the news or something…"

  I nodded at each sentence she finished, and I, surprisingly on my part, found out that I was actually interested with the things she was saying. Politics…I never found fascinating, but the reason she got into the Debate Team…classic.

  "So yeah…she gave me detention because she saw me slap the girl's face, but after that she told me to come try out for practice."

  "Slapping a girl's face…? That's more you." I said with a laugh, as she snickered with me. I stayed seated on my chair, as she continued narrating the events that took place last year when she was a junior.

  "So yeah…I auditioned, and I got in, much to the dismay of some people in the team."

  I laughed and asked, "Why?"

  "Because they were like 'how could someone like her be so smart?' or sometimes 'she has to have some flaws.' or even 'how can a slut be a nerd?'"

  I laughed at the latter part of what she said, while I tried not to fall off my seat. She sat up from the couch, and gave me a grin. After so, she gave me a look of suspicion.

  "Hey…don't go out of topic. Finish the problems."

  I turned my back against her and read the math problem for the millionth time. I just have to focus. Good thing the book was open, so I was able to continue what Cindy started step-by-step. I looked up from the paper and told Cindy I was done. She went over to my place, got the paper, and checked it. A few seconds after, she smiled triumphantly at me.

  "You got it correct!" She said, as she took me by surprise with a hug.

  I hesitantly embraced her back, before I returned her victorious smile.

  "I actually got one problem correct." I said with a deep sigh.

  "Maybe models aren't so dumb after all…" She said, teasing me.

  I playfully slapped her arm, and in return, she told me to answer the next equation. I exhaled again, before I started to work on a new hell, that of a harder kind.

  "Hey, can you check this." I asked as I handed her the paper with only two minutes left on the clock before our tutoring session ended. She scanned what I gave, and when she was done checking she didn't give me the full smile I was hoping for.

  "You started correctly, but somewhere near the end you got mixed up. Here…" She said, encircling my point of error.

  "Oh, damn…"

  I erased the latter part of my solution, and redid it. When I was finally done answering, I handed the piece of paper back to her, and hoped I did the right thing. She breathed out a sigh of relief, before she gave me a grin. "You're not so dumb and bad after all."

  I curved my lips upward, and snickered at her. "First impressions don't last."

  "Yes, but I have to tell you, even if we're seeing eye-to-eye now, doesn't mean I can share with you already."

  Huh?

  I looked at her questioningly, before I understood what she meant. She wants Nathan all to herself…

  But no! The voice inside my head shouted. How can I ignore such a good, hot person? And we have that whole 'Help Anthony' thing, and even though he is always out right after school, we still hang out always at the night with Riley. We've been flirting…okay…you can't really call it flirting since we just tease each other, but still…I think I'm starting to want to make-out with him…maybe even sleep with him…then dump him…? I don't know. Why do commitments have to exist anyway?

  "Oh…right. Yeah, yeah…don't worry." I told her hesitantly, while I scratched the back of my head. She cocked one of her eyebrows up at me, and patted my left shoulder.

  "Good. I'll see you next Tuesday to continue this lesson."

  I nodded at her, and was about to leave until she called me back. She took out a piece of paper with a new set of problems, and I mentally cursed her and myself. I took the paper, folded it twice, and looked up at her.

  "Just give that to me tomorrow morning, I already have the answers, so I can tell you right away if you have a chance of passing the test…or maybe acing it."

  "Acing a test?" I asked her in disbelief.

  "It's only the basics…" She said, shrugging her shoulders. "And besides that's like one plus one…"

  "Right…since you're taking AP Calculus, right?" I asked, sensing that she was about to start becoming conceited again. She shook her head, before she answered with a laugh.

  "No, I'm already taking college-level lessons in Math."

  * * *

  "Tell me, Nathan…" I started, looking up at him. He returned my curious look with one of his own.

  We were in my dorm room, waiting for Riley to come back from her meeting before we grabbed dinner at the nearby pizzeria. And while waiting, I tried to do the exercises Cindy gave me, with the help of Nathan of course. So far, I've answered six out of ten questions correctly. Of course, I made errors, but Nathan quickly found them, and corrected them. Even though Nathan wasn't in AP Calculus (he was my classmate, duh), he was still smart, and to prove it, he had AP World History, AP European Literature, AP U.S. Government and Politics, and of course, college-level Chemistry. He was hot, athletic, smart…and conceited.

  "Tell you what?" He asked, as he got the paper I had on my lap, and checked if my answer to problem number seven was right.

  "How can a slut be a nerd at the same time?"

  Nathan immediately laughed at my question, before he turned to me, and gave me a look of hilarity. I tried to slap his shoulder, but wasn't able to since he got a hold of my wrist and pulled me closer to him. We were on the couch, with my head now leaning on his shoulder, while his arm found its way around my waist. I slowly realized what we were doing, and immediately sat up. I removed my head from his shoulder, and took his arm off my waist. He gave me a look, which was a mixture of disappointment and anger, before he asked me why I did what I did.

  "Cindy likes you, you know…" I told him, and I suddenly felt a tug at my heart.

  I knew I shouldn't have let go of him since I had been waiting for something like this, an opportunity, but I had spent an hour with Cindy, and before we exchanged 'goodbye's, she clearly told me what, or in this case, who she wanted. Nathan.

  It's Cindy...you guys aren't even close...

  My inner-self told me, making me want to sin and lose my purity. Nathan ran a hand through his soft, well-shampooed hair, before he mouthed out an 'I know'.

  "Yeah…so we better stop, before I lose my tutor again." I told him, sounding a little bit casual, though I felt myself stiffen at my words.

  "I told you before I could tutor you!" He said, raising his voice. "Isn't that what I've been doing for the past half hour? And Cindy isn't even here!"

  "Cindy's not the point."

  "Yes, she is."

  "No, the point is that we're acting like a couple when we're not even one in the first place!" I said, my voice matching his now.

  He slouched down on the couch, and distanced himself away from me. I mentally gave myself the bird, and sighed.

  I hated hurting his ego…


  "What's wrong with what we did? Couples kiss…they make-out…my arm was just around you, and your head was just on my shoulder. What's wrong with that?"

  "If Riley came in here the moment we did that, she'd probably be teasing us out of our minds." I told him, standing up from the couch now, as I walked in front of him back and forth in a fast pace.

  I really didn't know why Nathan bothered me so much. Okay, he wasn't really a nuisance, but the things he did were. He could confuse the hell out of me in a matter of minutes, but still I would never get mad. He could also act so sweet, that it sometimes would give me unwanted feelings, and to add to that, these feelings didn't want to leave anymore. I exhaled for which was probably my fifth time tonight, before I turned my attention back to the boy who was looking at me with disappointment. The more I got baffled. Of all the expressions in the world, why that? But before I could even ask myself questions, he decided to speak.