The Heaven I Found In Hell

by Ashley Andrews

  "You're a pretty good dancer, you know that." He complimented, as I felt his grip on me tighten a bit, and sad to say for my purity, I liked it.

  "Well, that's what you get for partying too much."

  I saw a spark pass through his eyes, and for a moment I saw...anger? It couldn't be. I started questioning what I said, but found nothing wrong. Maybe I was thinking too much...Yeah...that was probably it. After a few minutes, the song changed into a much slower one, and I found my insides tightening by the idea of slow-dancing with no-one other than Nathan Adams.

  "Is this what you've been waiting for?" He asked, about to start another one of our tease-fests.

  He cocked an eyebrow at me, before he pulled his lips up into a grin. We slowly moved to the music, and a while after, I found my hands resting on his upper back, my arms beneath his underarm. I leaned my head on his shoulder, and against the fabric of his tuxedo, my lips curved up into a smirk.

  "I've been waiting to slow dance." I said to him. "But not with you."

  He patted my back, and somehow I just knew he was grinning. After a 'yeah, right' from him, we stayed silent...just dancing. Of course all good things had to end, and I found myself pulling away from him when the slow song came to a finish, but instead of sulking because the embrace ended, I smiled so wide because Smack That, another one from Akon, blasted through the stereos. I turned my back to him, and started dancing like crazy, as were the rest of the people in the room. Even though there were a few teachers present, most of us, if not all, started dancing the way we'd probably do in a Cabo Trip during Spring Break, just scrap the bikinis and board shorts part.

  "Damn Alex, chill! We got all night!" Nathan screamed, trying to beat the loud music. I continued doing my 'thing,' and ignored his 'suggestion.'

  "Come on Nate!"

  Nathan continued dancing, and by the way his whole body moved, I couldn't help but smile and look at him in awe. He was definitely a great dancer, and that was saying something. Not many guys can dance without looking gay, and when Nathan started to just do it, it hyped me even more since it made me feel like I was a legend in swaying my hips because I had such a great partner.

  "You aren't too bad yourself." I said with a sly smirk, as I referred to his moves.

  Such an understatement.

  After an hour of hips swaying and bodies grinding, Nathan and I got tired so we decided to head over to the buffet table to eat. He, being the incredibly fit pig he was, didn't leave an empty space on his plate, but I, on the other hand, decided to settle for a salad and a small sandwich. We made our way back to our table, sat ourselves down, and started eating. Due to the silence, I'd look at Nathan from time to time, and in one sad instance he caught me staring at him.

  "Do I have something on my face or am I just really hot you couldn't resist?" He asked with a teasing smirk glued on his face.

  I shouldered him, and before I knew it, I felt my heart do a somersault. Why did his smirk have to be so evil? The more I kept thinking about him, the more I wanted the dance to end so that he could already do his part of the deal and tell me the girl I was going to stab breathless. But no...it was only eight, which meant I had to wait for four more hours. Before I could further humiliate myself by staring at him, he brought me back to reality.

  "Lexy! Are you alright?" He asked, shaking me back to the real world.

  "Uh-huh." I answered mindlessly, unsure of what he really had asked.

  He looked at me, and then gave me a cocky grin. In return, I placed my finger over his lips, and told him to put that grin of his away, but unfortunately for me, he was enjoying tormenting me with his hotness.

  "I never knew my grin was so captivating..." He said pretending to look thoughtful.

  "Yeah, just like my hand on your face is!" I retorted, but soon after I was wearing a crooked smile.

  We ate and talked at the same time, and throughout our whole conversation, I had the privilege of keeping my eyes on Nathan without looking like a weirdo. Hey...it's important to keep eye contact. When we finished eating, we decided to stay at the table seeing as how we had the whole night until midnight to dance. We continued our oh-so random conversation, as we laughed, grinned, and snickered at each other. Something inside me told me I couldn't wait for the dance to end since my mask was being a nuisance that I wanted to take off no matter how beautiful it was. My heart felt like its veins were clogged. I wanted Nathan to rid me of my nervousness.

  After a few hours of chatting the minutes away, we found ourselves listening to our principal announce the King and Queen of the night. Both Cindy and I, along with two cheerleaders went up the stage since we were nominees for Homecoming Queen, while Nathan, Anthony, Blake, and Erick (captain of the Basketball team) stood on the other side of the platform. Such suspense...

  "This year's Homecoming King is..." Drumroll here. "Nathan Adams!"

  "No surprise there." I said to myself in a tone inaudible to others.

  I clapped my hands eagerly, as I watched my date take center stage. The spotlights turned to him, as the music grew softer, and I found myself anticipating the next thing that was going to happen. Nathan lowered his head, enabling the principal to place the crown over his hair, before he straightened up, and waved to everyone. He took a few steps to the side to leave space for his Queen. After the cheers died down our principal stood behind the mic as he took out another small piece of paper from his pocket. Everyone immediately kept quiet, so as not to keep the suspense going any longer. I saw the principal move his lips and loud cheers erupt from the audience, but not registering what he had said since my mind decided to work overtime all of a sudden, I didn't know who had won, until I saw Cindy stand beside Nathan. She accepted the crown with such glee, and I couldn't help myself, but feel jealous. Even though she acted like an ass to most people, she still got everything she wanted. Oh right...except for Nathan, but still. She was the Queen and I was the commoner, and Kings go for Queens. To make it sound 2007-ish, Cindy fit Nathan, not me. I put the thoughts at the back of my head, as I continued watching the two royal-blooded eighteen-year olds smile and wave to everyone before them. After a few minutes, and much to my happiness, they separated, and exited the stage. The nominees followed suit, before we went back to our groups. I met Riley and the others in the middle of the dance floor, and suddenly, I felt nervous. Cindy appeared a few seconds later, as she showed off her tiara.

  "I guess I’m a winner tonight!" She exclaimed proudly, and in return I hugged her (without any grudges), just to show that I was a sport when it came to losing. She loosely embraced me back, before she spoke up again. "...and someone here is going to be kissing Charlie!"

  Did I hear correct?

  I have nothing against Charlie, except for his hideous ways of dressing. I'm not being mean or anything, but with my background (speaking career-wise) and all, his fashion sense couldn't even be called one since to begin with, he looked like he didn't have a 'sense' when it came to choosing clothes. Before I could make myself gag by the idea of my hand on his back, and his glasses being in the way of the two of us kissing smoothly, I rid myself of my current thoughts as I gave Cindy the are-you-serious look. Apparently she was a hundred and one percent serious since her next words of; "You better do it now" reassured me.

  I looked at Nathan. I didn't know why I did, but in that moment, he seemed like the right person to turn to, considering he was the other winner. I looked at him, and pleaded for some help. He nodded slowly at me, before he turned to Cindy and forced her to change her decision.

  "Come on, Cindy. That's harsh." Nathan said, sounding forceful.

  I heard Cindy let out a small groan of resentment, and immediately, I knew why she didn't like Nathan backing me up. She wanted his attention.

  "Well, did you think that when you dumped me for some other...I don't know...!" She answered in a loud voice. "That was harsh too!"

  "I did not dump you..." Nathan returned, in a much calmer voice than Cindy's. "We weren't even together in
the first place."

  I rolled my eyes at Nathan's idiocy. What he said was far from being the right thing. In fact, he might have hurt and angered Cindy even more, but he looked like he didn't really care. By the determination in his eyes, I saw that what he wanted was to tell Cindy straight to her face that she shouldn't bring up the fact that he wasn't going to take her back anymore. That is if they were even together to begin with. Cindy let out a very short shriek, before she crossed her arms over her chest.

  "Stop it, Nathan. You're the one being harsh right now." She said, tears starting to well up in her eyes.

  As a girl, I guess...it's normal to get teary-eyed, but beginning to cry? In front of everyone? Hell...I'd say she just wanted some attention, even more, Nathan's attention, and unfortunately for me, it was working. Nathan was born caring, and even though Cindy made him look like an ass by telling us how he just dumped her, he couldn't stop himself from helping someone in need. And right now, here he was making his way to Cindy's side, as he enveloped her into a tight embrace. I willed the Gods to make Nathan stop, and did they listen...? Hell no. Nathan and Cindy stayed so close to each other for a good five minutes, and to take advantage of her nearness with Nathan, the Homecoming Queen's hands found their way to Nathan's cheeks, and cupped them. To get rid the discomfort everyone was feeling, I let out a fake cough, and immediately Nathan pulled away. I looked at him, and saw no emotion on his face, but I quickly figured out that he was just deep in thought by the way he wrinkled his forehead.

  "I guess I’m going to look for Charlie now." I said to them, not at all excited by the thought of sharing saliva with someone I didn't know a damned thing about, except that he was a geek. Sorry for being so straight, but that's just the way I am.

  I guess what I said brought Nathan back to his senses since he immediately looked up, before he blinked his eyes rapidly. He turned to me and gave me an are-you-serious look, and in return I nodded at him.

  "Hey, it's not like I have a choice..." I said, sounding sad (definitely). "I lost fair and square."

  Before I started to walk, and look for Charlie, Nathan tried to change Cindy's mind for the second time tonight. God...He was such a sweetie, and the more my feelings towards him grew. How could I not like him? He was always there for me when I needed help, nothing serious (so far) though.

  "Don't I have a say in this? I won too!" Nathan tried, as he held his hands up in the air for exaggeration.

  The whole of us retreated back to our table, since the middle of the dance floor wasn't really the right place to have a serious talk like this. Kendra, Jackson, and Natalie decided to sit down, but the rest of us remained standing.

  "I'll let you choose who Anthony will kiss, and I won't interrupt." Cindy said, looking a little bit pissed off...at me. By the way she looked at me with that deep unmoving glare of hers I knew I had it going on. She wanted me to vanish from their sights. I just knew it.

  "Cindy...that's unreasonable. You know I’ll choose my sister for Anthony since you know..." He reasoned out, before stating the obvious, "...they're together."

  Cindy let out a grunt, before she threw her arms up in the air in surrender. She gave all of us a loud 'hmph' before she turned to Nathan, and gave him the evil eye. Nathan who had no idea why Cindy was acting all messed up, tried to calm her down by telling her that she was acting immaturely, and that she should stop, but what the other winner was doing actually angered her even more...and she cracked.

  "Fine! I don't care anymore! I don't give a damn who she'll kiss! You decide since you're always objecting to every one of my decisions!" She went off, and the rest of us couldn't help but leave our mouths open in shock.

  A few heads turned, and I knew in that instant, people were going to start whispering. We were going to be the center of rumors and gossip, like always, and that annoyed me. It wasn't like the magazine articles weren't enough...but what irritated me really was the way Cindy was acting, like a complete child, lost. She was now crying, breaking down in front of us, and each of us looked at each other, hesitating to decide if we were going to help her. It was Nathan who stepped forward, and when he reached his arm out for Cindy to take, the stupid blonde took it immediately, and pulled him closer to her. She was making me jealous without even knowing it, and sooner or later, I was just going to crack like her.

  "Forget it. If kissing Charlie will make you act like the adult you are, I'll do it. Are you happy now?" I said, not at all feeling sorry for her. What was I supposed to be sympathetic about anyway? It's not my fault Nathan didn't go to the dance with her, and it's not my problem that the guy she had her eyes for was one of my most trusted friends and that we spent most of our time together (with Riley)!

  "Alex...you don't have to...really..." That was Nathan for you.

  "No!" I shouted, about to crack. "I'll fucking do it since the Queen asked me to! And of course what the Queen wants, she gets!"

  Oh god...I was acting just like Cindy...

  "This isn't about you kissing Charlie! Okay?" Cindy said, confusing me the more. "It's about Nathan liking you!"

  WHA?

  "Wha-...What?" I asked in disbelief. No, it couldn't be...I knew the right thing for me to do was to jump with joy...but in this situation, it just seemed so wrong with all that was going on.

  I turned to Nathan just to see how he'd react, and to my surprise, he wasn't correcting Cindy, or doing anything to stop her or tell the rest of us that what the blonde said was a lie. He just kept his gaze on me the whole time, as if he was trying to tell me something. I looked away from him...no...

  "You got it wrong...Nathan likes someone else...he's going to tell me later..." I said, starting to rant.

  Cindy rolled her eyes at me, irritated, before she let out a sigh and said, "Why would he ask you to the dance if he likes someone else? Shouldn't he have asked that girl?"

  Honestly, I never thought of that. Why did he ask me really? And the more I grew curious. I turned my attention back to Nathan, and waited for him to speak, but nada. He remained silent, so I turned to the others, and waited for them to say something, something that was going to assure that what Cindy was saying were all crap, but like Nathan, they weren't stopping her. It even seemed like they were letting her continue, like they wanted me to believe what she was saying.

  "Is this true?" I asked Nathan.

  I felt happy and mad at the same time, and I didn't know what I was supposed to do in this kind of situation. Out of happiness should I tell him I returned his feelings? Or because of anger should I distance myself away from him? I was confused before, and all the more now. I turned my attention back to him, and waited for his response. In return, he simply nodded. Just a very small head movement. That was all.

  "Can we go outside?" I asked, wanting to have a more private conversation with him.

  He nodded again, and followed me out of the ballroom. We looked for a sitting room where there were only a few people, and when we found one, we took our seats beside each other. I crossed my legs, and then rested my hands on my lap, as I looked down at the carpeted floor. I didn't feel like looking at him, for different reasons that gave me a full palette of emotions. His stare had the ability to make me feel happy, nervous, and comforted and a lot more feelings depending on what he wanted to do to me. To keep myself safe, I settled my eyes on something lifeless. Something that wasn't going to give me any problems.

  "Why didn't you tell me?" Was the first question I asked.

  "Because I didn't want anything to happen..." He answered, sounding like he had done some grave sin.

  I rolled my eyes at his answer, while my brain went on overdrive (again). The things he said contradicted each other, really. He liked me, but he didn't want anything to happen? I wanted to hate him at this moment since he was making me use my brain so hard. I sighed. My mind felt much worse now compared to every minute I had to endure of Calculus. I turned my attention back to him, before I gave him a stern look. I wanted him to know that this wasn't teasing ti
me. He had to be serious with me, which made me feel unsure of myself. I'd never been serious with Nathan...

  "You like me but you don't want anything to happen?" I asked, as I raised one of my eyebrows up at him.

  He looked away from me, put his head down, and rested the palms of his hands at the back of his head. I heard him let out a soft slightly irritated groan, before he spoke up.

  "It's your fault I don't want to be with you..." He said, confusing and irritating me more.

  I was already damn-straight perplexed, but feeling seriously irritated with Nathan was a first. Was he blaming me for reasons I didn't even understand?

  "My fault?" I said, trying to remain placid, though I felt like it wasn't working. "How the hell can it be my fault? I didn't even know you liked someone until we overheard Cindy!"