A Sweet Life-kindle

by Andre, Bella

  ***

  Jude’s smiled tightened as he watched the soft smile Tessa gave Sean. He was still jealous and he hated that. He thought by now he would have dealt with those feelings but apparently seeing them share a moment like that brought all those feelings back. He needed to address his insecurities if he wanted to get Tessa back.

  It wasn’t only Tessa he missed. Sean had been his best friend, his best man at their wedding and even his roommate all through college. Many times these past few months Jude had kicked himself for believing in something that wasn’t true. He’d let his weakness destroy two relationships he valued the most.

  He caught Sean’s gaze and nodded. Sooner or later they’d need to talk. From the steely look Sean gave him he wasn’t sure if they’d be talking over drinks or with their fists.

  He knew he brought unwanted attention to himself tonight and he could only imagine what was being said about him. Jude grabbed a beer off the drink table and leaned against the wall. If he stayed out of the way tonight, maybe that interest would die down. The last thing he wanted was to steal any of the spotlight from his parents.

  Besides, from this vantage point, he could watch Tessa all night. After not seeing her for so long, he could watch her forever and never get bored.

  ***

  As the night wound down, Tessa gave a slight nod to Reverend Frank who sat in the corner, then dimmed the lights until only the Christmas lights they decorated the room with shone. A low murmur of excitement filled the air. Many of the guests knew what was about to happen.

  Tessa walked towards the front of the room where Bob and Jean sat and didn’t even bother trying to hide the smile that filled her face. Bob winked at her before he pushed back his chair and held out his hand to Jean.

  “What’s going on?” Jean gripped the napkin in her hand and looked from Bob to Tessa and back to Bob.

  “Jean, love, just take my hand.” Bob sighed as he reached down and plucked the napkin from her hand.

  “But what’s going on?” Jean’s cheeks flushed when she realized the room had gone quiet and everyone listened in.

  “Fifty years ago I promised you I’d love you forever. Back then, forever seemed like such a long time, but now, forever only seems like a day. So tonight, I want to promise you my love till the end of time, because honey, you deserve that and so much more.” Bob voice cracked. As his smile wobbled, Tessa brushed away the tears that gathered in her eyes and fell.

  Bob walked Jean over to the arbour of lights and roses Ellie had set up in the corner and when Jean caught sight of Reverend Frank, her sob could be heard throughout the room.

  “I love you, you silly, silly man.” Jean wrapped her arms around Bob and leaned her head on his shoulder.

  Tessa sank down in a chair and struggled to swallow past the lump in her throat. She searched the room for Jude and found him in the opposite corner of the room, his arms folded as he leaned against the wall and stared at her. She looked away but not before her face heated. She tried to focus on what was happening up front, on the words Jean and Bob shared, the new vows they spoke, but memories of her own wedding vows swept over her.

  It had been the wedding of her dreams. With a waterfall for their backdrop, beneath a setting sun, on a walkway full of flickering tealights in mason jars, Tessa had promised to love Jude till the end of their days. She wore a soft white gown with embroidered flowers, while Ellie stood beside her in a chocolate brown knee length dress. Jude looked amazing in his tux and Sean stood beside him as his best man. They had written their own vows and Tessa would forever remember the tears in Jude’s eyes as he whispered his love to her.

  She glanced over at him now and wished to go back in time, to erase the past months and start fresh. She wanted that to happen more than anything else in life, but she wondered if it was possible. There was so much distance between them. So much anger and hurt. He’d left her without giving her the opportunity to fix what she hadn’t known was broken. And now, with him here, the distance seemed impossible to overcome.

  Did he come home to say goodbye?

  Chapter Four

  Tessa pulled out a chair and sank into it. She moaned as pinpricks of pain blasted through her feet. While heels worked wonders on the calves, they hurt like hell after standing for six hours. She opened her notebook and went over the checklist of items still to complete before she could call the evening a success.

  “I never thought this night would end,” Ellie complained as she pulled out the chair next to her and leaned back. “I feel like Cinderella except the stroke of midnight never came and I’ve been stuck in this ridiculous dress forever.”

  “Let me be your Fairy Godmother then. The stroke of midnight came and went. Feel free to turn into a pumpkin now.” Tessa waved an imaginary wand in the air.

  “Nice fairy godmother you are.” Ellie complained. Tessa pretended to ignore her. “The caterers are gone, the staff has all been paid, cleaning crew is just about done...did I miss anything? Oh, kicking out Jude...or did you want to do that?”

  Tessa played with the pen in her hand. She’d caught the way he hung around, always in sight but never too close. So many times she wanted to go up to him but stopped herself from making a scene. Instead she flittered around the room, talked to different groups and even danced with a few children to help place a smile on her face. The last time she saw him though was with his arms full of gift wrapped boxes on his way to his parents vehicle. She never saw him return.

  “Is he still around?”

  Ellie snorted. “Am I still wearing this ridiculous dress? What I wouldn’t give for my cargo pants and black tee-shirt. I can’t believe I let you talk me into wearing this. Next time, expect a revolt.”

  “You could have worn the pants, I told you I didn’t mind.”

  Ellie groaned. “Oh sure, say that now.”

  Tessa shook her head and glanced around the room. She hadn’t seen Jude for the past half hour. Did he leave without saying goodbye? Would he come back? How long was he really home for?

  “Hey, what happened with Sean?”

  Tessa jerked her head around and stared at her friend. “What do you mean what happened?” She had a mental image of Sean and Jude fighting.

  “Whoa, calm down. I just wondered where he went, that’s all. I expected him to stick around, help with the clean up, maybe talk a little more about that whole partnership thing.”

  Tessa leaned back and crossed her arms. “Do you think it’s a good idea? We’re doing well, we’ve got a lot of parties booked and I had a few people ask to schedule appointments for the upcoming months tonight.”

  Ellie leaned close and rested her elbows on the table. She stared at Tessa until it became almost unbearable. “You don’t want to work with Sean, do you?”

  Tessa crossed and uncrossed her legs. “I just don’t think we need to rush into anything...let’s see if we could swing it on our own, bring your sister on board like you keep mentioning. There’s a lot of possibilities.” Tessa hedged.

  “R-i-i-ight.” Ellie nodded. “Are these possibilities falling in our laps just like the partnership offer?”

  Inwardly, Tessa groaned. How could she explain it when she wasn’t even sure herself why she hesitated? Was it so wrong not to want to lean on anyone and just do this themselves? When Jude walked out on her, everyone said she was going to fall apart, but she didn’t. She proved them wrong.

  And now that Jude was home? She’d heard the murmurings tonight. Too many times to count she’d walk up to a table and the conversation would stop and she knew that she was the topic. Again. All thanks to Jude.

  And where was he now? He hardly said two words to her after he saved her from falling earlier. Great way to add fuel to the already burning flame. Twice Spurned—she could see the headline in the gossip section of the Banff Weekly.

  “Decadent Events could make it big with Sean’s help, Tess, you know that. The level of clients he has...the sky’s the limit. Why are you hesitating?”

/>   “Why are you pushing this so hard? Can I at least get a few days to think about it?” She rubbed the back of her neck and rolled her head to work out the kinks.

  “Sure, sorry. I know it’s not great timing right now, especially with Jude back, but you know my little sister will be home soon from Paris and I think Lexi would be a great addition to the team. She’d be the perfect pastry chef for us and I know she’d jump at the opportunity.”

  “I’m sure she would. But what if she wants to work elsewhere? I imagine it would be hard to work alongside the best patisserie chefs in France and then come home to doing only catered events. I’m sure you sister wants more than this.”

  Ellie shook her head. “I’ve already asked her and she said yes.”

  “You what?”

  “Oh come on, Tess. This isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation. Don’t sell us short, that’s all I’m asking. Think about it, okay? Hey, you had that vacation planned after this, didn’t you? Are you still going to go?”

  Tessa shook her head. She’d canceled her vacation to the coast for a week of relaxation after she found out about Jean. She’d forgotten she hadn’t told Ellie. Her life had been a bit of a haze since hearing the news. She leaned forward and reached for Ellie’s hand.

  “I canceled it earlier this week.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Jean has an advanced-staged cancer and doesn’t have much time left. I don’t want to—” she couldn’t get the words out. She knew Ellie would understand, having lost her own mother to cancer.

  “Oh honey,” tears filled Ellie’s eyes “of course you couldn’t go. Oh my…no wonder she looked so tired tonight.”

  “You caught that too? I hope tonight wasn’t too much for her.” She had tried to do as much as she could throughout the evening. Among the three of them, herself, Bob and Jude, Jean had received the royal treatment.

  “She’s stubborn, she won’t let this hit her until she’s at home and alone. At least, that’s what my mom was like.”

  Tessa nodded. She remembered that. Maybe she’d head over tomorrow with some homemade soup and check in on her. “That’s probably where Jude is,” she muttered to herself. Of course that’s where he’d be. Why did she think he’d hang around here for her?

  A chisel pounded straight through her chest and into her heart as she finally understood why Jude was back. Not for her or for their marriage. He was back for his mother. Of course. All night she’d fought against the hope that he was here for her, that he’d come home in time for their anniversary, a time to make a fresh start. What a fool she’d been.

  “Are you okay?” A concerned look filled Ellie’s gaze.

  Tessa nodded her head, grabbed her notebook and pen, stuffing them into her bag. “Of course I’m okay. I’m exhausted though. I think I’ll head home, take a long bath and go to bed.” She knew she blathered on but she could feel the tears well up and the last thing she wanted to do was break down here. She was so tired of breaking down, of being weak, of crying her life away.

  “Are you happy he’s back home?” Ellie’s question stopped her.

  Happy? Yes, she was happy he was home. Jean needed him. If anything, even if he were only here for his mother, it was worth it. It would be hard to see him, to run into him, but she could handle it. She didn’t really have a choice, did she?

  “The look in Jean’s eyes tonight was worth it. Did you see the way she held tight to his arm and wouldn’t let him leave her side for the longest time?”

  “And you?”

  Tessa gave her friend a sad smile. “He’s not home for me Ellie. It’s time I accept that our marriage is over. You don’t just walk away from your marriage for months with no word and expect things to be perfect the moment you decide to come back.” She shrugged and pretended her heart wasn’t already in little pieces. “No, my marriage is over.”

  Chapter Five

  Those words haunted her the whole way home. Normally she’d enjoy the drive through the back roads and alongside the mountain she lived on, but not tonight. Tonight all she could focus on was the fact her marriage might really be over.

  She’d checked her phone after she dropped Ellie off at her condo, half expecting Jude to leave her a text asking to meet, but there had been nothing. Shame on her for daring to hope...she should have known better.

  She slowed her truck down as the road to her place came up and braked hard as a herd of mountain goats blocked her driveway. Damn goats. For some reason they’d taken a liking to her place the past few months and ate all the shrubs she’d planted along her driveway. She honked her horn a few times and edged her way down her driveway, careful not to hit any of the animals. She was shocked to see an unfamiliar vehicle ahead.

  She parked and made her way around the corner of her house towards her side porch where she found Jude sitting on her steps while her dog—no, their dog—sat at his feet. Her steps faltered for a moment before she clutched her purse tightly in her hands.

  Neither one said anything as she sat down beside him on the step, careful to leave enough distance between them. The silence stretched thin until the chirping of the crickets filled the air.

  “I’d forgotten how much I loved sitting out here.” Jude let out a long sigh and leaned back, anchoring his elbows on the wood behind him.

  Tessa turned towards him and looked him over. He looked like hell warmed over, if she were to be truthful. His hair was messed, there were dark circles beneath his eyes and his twelve-hour stubble had hints of grey she’d never seen before. That shocked her more than anything. He’d aged in the past year.

  “It’s peaceful. Why don’t I make some coffee and bring it out?” She climbed to her feet but stopped him when he went to get up. “Stay, enjoy the peace. I have a new coffee machine so it won’t take long.” She reached down and grabbed her bag and pushed open the house door.

  “You should keep it locked,” Jude said.

  Tessa shrugged. “Why? Rusty’s here to protect the place.” They’d never locked their house door, not even when they lived together before they were married. Why start now?

  “Being all alone out here isn’t safe,” Jude muttered.

  Tessa glanced over at the shotgun she kept by her porch door. She was safe enough. She dropped her bag on the kitchen table and took in a deep breath. Jude was here. Really here. All the words she’d wanted to say to him disappeared except for the one phrase she uttered to herself over and over in the middle of the night.

  I still love you.

  But would it matter? Had too much time passed? Too much distrust? How do you repair something you didn’t know was broken until it was too late?

  She brewed his coffee, straight black and then made one for herself, added a little bit of cream to it and then carried them outside. Her hands shook a little as she nudged the door open. Jude jumped up and reached for his coffee before stepping to the side. Rather than sit back down on the stairs, Tessa headed towards the wicker patio set she’d picked up at a garage sale the other weekend. She didn’t ask Jude to join her, but assumed he would.

  When he hesitated she gave him a soft smile. “I won’t bite, I promise.”

  The glow from her kitchen window illuminated Jude’s face as he climbed the stairs and sat down in a chair. Rusty ambled his way over and with a small jump, plopped himself down beside Tessa on the two-seater, sighed and placed his head on Jude’s knee.

  “I think someone’s happy to see you.” Tessa took a sip of her coffee.

  “I hope he’s not the only one,” Jude said as he leaned forward and scratched behind Rusty’s ears. Tessa had a hard time swallowing. “I know it’s sudden and that I don’t deserve a second chance, but...” His shoulders slumped as he leaned forward and rested his elbow on his free knee.

  He wanted a second chance. Everything inside of her wanted to shout yes, but she kept quiet and looked out over the yard. She had a feeling there was more that needed to be said. Explanations, apologies...on both sides. But how did you get pa
st the fact that he just up and left with no contact, no word and then expect to get to the heart of their issues?

  Right at that moment, her cell phone rang. Tessa winced as the recorded sound of Sean’s voice filled the air, something he’d recorded on her phone ages ago and set as his ring tone. She glanced at Jude and caught the hardened look on his face.

  “Does he call this late at night often?”

  Tessa gave him a sidelong glance as she reached for the phone. “He’s probably just calling to make sure I made it home okay.”

  “That’s ... nice of him.” Jude’s lips tightened.

  It was wrong, she knew it, but she let his recorded ringtone play out. It was Sean singing “You Are My Sunshine” to her in a silly voice. It always made her smile to hear it.

  “What’s up?” She clicked the answer button on the phone and put it on speaker.

  “Just making sure you made it home in one piece.”

  Tessa glanced over at Jude. “Sure did. The mountain goats are eating those bushes again. Would you ask your gardener for ones that they don’t like next time?”

  The sound of Sean’s chuckle filled the air. “Sure can, doll. Anything for you. Sleep tight, okay?”

  Tessa smiled. For years, they’d said the same thing to each other, sleep tight rather than goodbye at the end of the day. “You too.” She clicked the end button and set the phone down beside her.

  “Why didn’t you tell him I was here?” Jude asked.

  “Cause it didn’t matter. Does it?”

  And that’s how easy it was to get to the root of all their issues.

  ***

  He couldn’t look at her. Not yet. Did it matter? Good question.

  His facial muscles spasmed as his jaw tightened. It mattered enough that he’d left. It mattered enough that he’d once questioned Tessa’s love. It mattered enough that he’d...