Lost In The Darkness (The Lost and Found Series Book 1)

by K. L. Jessop

  “Pepper…” he whispers in a tone that sounds like he’s about to breakdown.

  I don’t stop my path as I press my hands to the firm muscles of his back, bringing him closer as I make love to his body with my mouth. I lift onto my feet and find his mouth. When I feel him undo my shorts, I let him remove them along with my tights and underwear in one go.

  “No,” he murmurs when I start to undo his jeans, thick desire in his throat. “Lay down, baby. Let me show you how sorry I am. Let me make you feel good.”

  His mouth never leaves mine as I’m guided down to the mattress. Kissing his way down my body, he covers my breasts, swirling his tongue before he stands to remove his jeans.

  Standing there in the moonlight, he’s never been more radiant. His eyes no longer have fear clouding them and the look I love seeing is only for me. It is me. What I do to him is staring right back at me.

  “Dexter,” I whisper, reaching out for him.

  Crawling up the bed, he covers me with his solid frame, resting over me, watching, waiting. “What are you looking at?”

  “Thank you for making me believe I’m worthy, Pepper. Your beauty has no limits.”

  He enters me slowly and I arch up into him, needing his touch everywhere as he fills me. When he moves, his gentle yet controlled pace changes everything as he rocks us. His hands caress, his mouth makes promises over my skin and he takes me to a place of ecstasy. We’ve had rough, there’s been hard but there’s never been anything that’s made me this breathless. There are so many sides to this man and the one he’s showing me now I hold above all of them. Every kiss, every touch, every moment with him, he takes a piece of my heart that I’ll never get back and I don’t want to. Because the truth is, I’ve fallen in love with him, even though I forbid myself to reveal those words. I can't say them yet when there's still so much to know. So, in order to let him know what he’s doing to my heart, I say the closest thing I can. But it’s his reply that means so much more.

  "I've fallen for you, Dexter."

  "And you've taken me with you."

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Dexter

  I've been lying awake for what feels like hours, watching her sleep. I've stayed with her all night, and I can understand now why this hurt her so much. This feeling inside—the one that’s currently surrounding my soul with having her so close—this protection... If this is what it's like, then I completely understand why she’s craved it so much. Before, I’d wait until her eyes closed, or I’d leave her before they did, but I’ve never thought twice about how her heart has felt in all of this. I’ve been thinking only of myself because it is me that I’ve truly thought it affected more than anyone. I’ve been stupid. I’ve been selfish. But now, now I understand, and waking to her body next to mine is everything I didn’t know I needed. She's beautiful. She’s the one I never saw coming. The calm to my storm.

  Last night meant more to the both of us in different ways, and I'm glad I let my guard down and told her how scared I was. I feel like an idiot for having so much concern over something so trivial, but it’s the truth. The only reason I’ve held off from taking that next step is because I never want history to repeat itself.

  “So precious,” I whisper, stroking her hair.

  She stirs, and the soft moan that leaves her brings a smile to my lips. As much as I want to let her sleep, I also want to have her eyes on me. There is something about those blues that keeps me grounded, brings me home, and makes me believe that anything is possible.

  “Dexter…” she whispers—the breathy kind of whisper where I can’t work out if she’s dreaming or if she knows I’m next to her.

  Pressing my lips softly against hers, I murmur, “I’m here, beautiful.”

  Her lashes flutter open and she studies me for a moment, her eyes dancing over my face before they widen as if everything that’s happened is only just registering with her. “You stayed?” she questions as she beams excitedly. “You really stayed!”

  “I really did.” I chuckle.

  Before I have a chance to do anything, she’s straddling my waist and crashing her mouth to mine, kissing the absolute shit out of me as her hair cocoons us. Her kiss is greedy, demanding and laced with gratitude.

  “Hi,” she whispers against my lips.

  “Wow, if I knew you’d kiss me like that, I would have stayed sooner.”

  “Well, I have been trying to convince you for weeks.”

  “And I’m sorry I made you wait.”

  “Did you sleep okay?”

  “Better than I have in ages.” Which is a lie because I spent most of the night watching her sleep as the moonlight illuminated her pure skin.

  “So… we can do this again?” she grins before she wiggles her brows, making me chuckle. Running my hands up her thighs, I cup her arse, giving it a little squeeze. “If you kiss me like you just did we can.”

  She presses her lips against mine briefly and whispers. “Thank you. I promise you won’t regret this.”

  “I’m not so far. I’m glad you pushed me, though. I guess I was being overdramatic with the unknown.”

  “And they say girls dramatise everything.”

  “Hey!” I poke her in the waist and she giggles, squirming.

  “I’m sorry.” Laying herself down so her upper body is flush with mine, she sighs happily. “You’ve no idea how much I’ve wanted to do this. Just hold you this way.”

  “Better than morning sex?”

  “Yes. No. Maybe…”

  I laugh.

  “I mean, morning sex is great, but I still woke without you next to me. Now you’re here.”

  “Now I’m here,” I repeat as I methodically stroke my hand up and down her back.

  We fall into a contented silence, the only sound in the room our breathing and the thud of our hearts echoing through each other. The warmth of her skin against mine makes my eyes heavy because I’m so relaxed it’s crazy.

  "I started painting the gallery yesterday,” I say softly.

  "You did?"

  “Yeah. Two walls are done already.”

  “Wow. Fast worker. I can’t wait to see what you’ve done.”

  Needing to occupy my mind after her departure, I’d started making progress. Peppers office is now complete with a full Alice and Wonderland theme, thanks to Malcolm, and one full length of the gallery wall is finished, too. With my music loud and my head in the game, I can focus on my work and get jobs done in no time.

  “Do you have other plans for it?” Pepper asks, linking her hand with mine as she brings them up at the side of us.

  “For the walls?”

  “Mmhmm.”

  “I’ve got a few ideas. I’ve thought about graffitiing the outside, too, so you can see the building better from the street. Bring more people in.”

  “You’re really into this now, right?”

  “Yes. I needed time.”

  Time: a process that can make or break you in seconds. Sometimes time isn’t enough, and I know the pressure is on for me to give Pepper the answers she wants to hear. She will get them, when I don’t know, but she will. I’d been the same with Emmet. For too long, he’d tried and failed to get me to talk. But one night, I’d cracked because I hadn’t been able to hold my demons in anymore. I’ve not got to that point yet, with Pepper, and in a way it’s frustrating because I want to get everything off my chest so I can see where this thing between us progresses. Last night, after we’d shed tears and kissed under the stars, I’d cherished her body with every breath I have in me. We’d shared tender moments, we’d kissed with passion and she’d taken me to a place where those three little words had been sitting on the tip of my tongue. I’d wanted to say them yet was terrified all the same because that voice in my head contradicted my thoughts.

  "What made you change your mind?" Pepper whispers, breaking me from my thoughts.

  “How do you mean?”

  “Last night. What made you change your mind and come find me?”
r />   Like my friend had known of my sudden conflict, Emmet had walked through my door an hour after Pepper stormed out. We’d talked. I’d cried. I’d bellowed in frustration then we’d talked some more until I’d calmed down. Making me see sense, he had helped me look in the direction I was fighting with my heart and mind not to look. The next thing I’d known, I was sitting waiting for her to come home.

  "Emmet. We talked a lot and he made me realise I'd been stupid."

  I feel her smile against my chest. "He’s a great person. He loves you dearly."

  "He’s the best. I don't know what I would have done or where I would be without him. I owe that man so much I don't even know how to repay him."

  "I think being you is enough. But I'm glad he sent you on the right road and brought you back to me."

  I can’t pretend that this will be easy—for either of us. It will be hard, and there will be times where I want the world to leave me alone, but as long as I know I’ve got her, I pray things will work out.

  "I'm trying, Pepper,” I admit. “You need to know that. I'm not keeping things from you out of spite. My life has been hard, and sometimes getting through another day is even harder. But I'm trying."

  She sits up, caging me in with her arms on each side of my head, her big eyes holding mine with so much conviction and integrity. "You do know I'll never judge you, don't you? Whatever life has thrown at you or whatever bad things you may have done. I'll never judge you on that."

  "I know."

  "No one is perfect, Dexter. Everyone's human. People make mistakes, hurt others and face things in life that are truly terrible, but it’s the real person inside you that speaks louder than any other part of you. I've seen that person and I really like him."

  Jesus this woman.

  "What did I possibly do right to have you fall?"

  She places her hand over my heart, whispering. "You were just yourself."

  An urgency in me suddenly needs her to know how I feel. Taking her face in my hands, I hold her gaze. “I need you to know that regardless of everything, you mean so much to me. At first, I never wanted any of this, but with your persistence, you’ve made me see how much I need you. How much I want you.”

  “Dexter…”

  I bring her closer. “Tell me you know.”

  “I know.”

  “Don’t give up on me, Pepper. Please don’t give up on me.”

  “I promise I won’t.”

  I run my tongue along her bottom lip before I slip it into her mouth. She whimpers against me when I glide my hand down her neck to cup her breast, my dick twitches, wanting to be inside her. She begins to rock lightly, but I pull back when I hear loud voices outside her front door. “Who’s that?”

  She listens for a moment, her brows narrowing. “Sounds like Malcolm. What’s he doing here?” The click of her front door goes and I’m about to shout at him to get the fuck out when we hear a woman laughing.

  Pepper’s eyes spring wide, excitement mixed with horror fills her crystal blues and she squeals. “Oh my God, that’s my mum!”

  Jumping up off me, she dashes for her robe before running out of the bedroom, leaving me, naked and turned on.

  “Pepper, darling!”

  I hear screams of excitement fill the hallway and the reunion she’s been so eager for takes place on the other side of the wall. There’s laughter, cheers and I could be mistaken, but I believe Pepper is crying. Sitting up, I smile when I listen to the happiness that comes from my girl, but then worry cramps me with what this may mean.

  Since her parents have been away, I’ve had Pepper all to myself. Could I lose her now? What will her parents think of me? Will I be enough for their beautiful daughter?

  You’ll never be enough, Jackass. Just look at you.

  Getting out of bed, I try to shake off the voice in my head that is trying to play games with me. As I pull on my jeans and T-shirt, I run my fingers through my hair and let out a deep exhale, wondering if I should show my face or carry on hiding.

  Wanting to do right by Pepper, I head out of her room to find a small gathering near the kitchen island: Malcolm dressed to the nines and wearing fucking glitter boots, her mum in a fitted dress full of elegance and Pepper with her arms around her father’s waist with their backs to me. Expensive fragrances fill my senses as I spot a Louis Vuitton handbag on the kitchen island.

  What the fuck am I doing?

  I mean look at me, thirty seconds in and I’m no competition. Jesus, I don’t even own a suit and by the look of her father’s, it’s tailor-made.

  “I can’t believe you’re back so early.”

  “We missed you,” her father speaks, kissing his daughter on the head.

  “I’ve got so much to tell you.”

  “Well, you can do that once we—” The small thin woman with eyes as blue as her daughter’s latches on me in surprise, Malcolm winking at me from behind when he registers I’m standing here.

  “Good grief, who is this fine specimen of a man?”

  “This is what I had to tell you.”

  With her parent’s eyes now on me, I can’t work out if her father is trying to figure out what the fuck is going on or whether to hit me or not. I’ve never felt embarrassment like I’m feeling right now and the chicken shit in me would give anything to run. Talk about fucking schoolboy emotions going on here.

  Like she knows I’m feeling out of place, Pepper makes her way over to me, linking her arms around my waist as she looks up at me silently telling me to calm my racing heart that’s thundering so hard, I’m struggling to breathe. This is not how I wanted our first encounter with her parents to go. Truth is, I’ve never expected it at all.

  “Mum, Dad… This is Dexter. He’s my…”

  “Boyfriend. I’m Pepper’s boyfriend.”

  Boyfriend? Holy shit.

  I step forward and outstretch my hand to do the gentlemanly thing. “Mr and Mrs Livewell.”

  “Pleasure to meet you, Dexter.” Her father’s grip is strong. “Pickles, we never knew you were seeing anyone,” her dad says, looking at his daughter with so much love and affection. All the while, her mum looks at me like I’m naked.

  “I wasn’t, Dad. Dexter is the owner of the Gallery where I work. It just kinda… happened.”

  “Well, Dexter,” her mum chirps up, “what a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Likewise. Pepper has spoken a lot about you and your family.”

  “She has?” both her parents say in unison, looking from me to Pepper.

  “Dexter knows about Persie,” she says softly. “He was actually there for me on my birthday when things got a little tough.”

  Both Mr and Mrs Livewell study their daughter for what feels like a century until she rolls her eyes.

  “I’m okay guys, honest. These two have been my rocks while you’ve been away, so stop with the dramatic parent eyes. I’m fine.”

  “Told you you guys were stressing over nothing,” Malcolm pipes up.

  “Malcolm, darling, you always say we stress over nothing.”

  “That’s because you do.”

  “Princess, your birthday was a hard day for all of us. Not being here with you to both celebrate your day and remember your sister was the worst kind of hell your mother and I faced. It was wrong of us to assume you’d be okay on your own because we certainly were not okay and we had each other. I apologise for that.”

  The compassion and affection in her father’s eyes is mind blowing. That’s what a loving parent looks like.

  Pepper leaves my side and goes to her father. “You don’t have to apologise, Dad. Life goes on. It hurt, yes, I can’t lie. But I had Malcolm and Dexter with me.”

  Abruptly, her mum clasps her hands together. “Right, let’s move on before we all start getting too emotional. This reunion has had enough tears.” She turns on her heels, giving orders. “Pepper, darling you go put some clothes on. Andrew, go sit down and relax.”

  “Yes, Caroline, dear.”

  “M
alcolm be a good boy and open the champagne.”

  “Champagne? What? Mum, we don’t—”

  “We need to welcome Dexter into the family. No arguments. Now, do you have any glasses freshly washed?”

  I can’t help but grin at Mrs Livewell flitting her way through cupboards and asking questions like Pepper can’t look after herself.

  “And have you been eating well? Boys, has she been eating well? Do I need to make a stop at the supermarket before we head home?” She looks in the fridge before anyone has a chance to answer. “Good Lord, is this all you have?”

  “Yes, Mother because I haven’t been shopping yet,” Pepper throws back sarcastically.

  “Pep, I need to make sure you’re eating well. Healthy.”

  “Adult, Mum. Adult.”

  I chuckle at the pair of them. Pepper has informed me her mum has this overprotective side when it comes to her eating well.

  The champagne bottle pops, and once filled, a glass is handed to me instantly as Pepper leans in and whispers. “One thing you need to know about my mum is that she can always find an excuse to have champers.”

  “And the other thing,” Malcolm adds. “Is now that she knows you two are a thing, she’ll never leave you alone and will start calling you to have dinner dates.”

  “He doesn’t own a phone.”

  He grins. “Genius. In that case, you best lock your door.”

  The smell of fresh linen fills my senses when Pepper’s mum flurries past and heads towards the living space, handing Mr Livewell a glass of champagne.

  She raises her arm to get everyone’s attention. “Let’s make a toast.”

  “To what? You coming back and putting me on a fat-free diet in less than thirty?”

  Where everyone laughs at Pepper’s sass, I barely muster a smile. This suddenly all feels too much. I want it to go back to how it was earlier this morning.

  “To new beginnings and the importance of family.”

  All the air leaves my lungs. Family. The one thing I’ve tried so hard to get back ever since it was taken from me.