Distorted Love

by T. L Smith

  “I want to actually feel something for the boy I sleep with, Liv.” I stand up, brushing over my bottom and then stepping over to my bed to lie down next to her.

  “You will, when he splits you open.” She laughs loudly, and I cringe at her words.

  “Do you ever want me to have sex? Because those words should never have left your mouth if you’re trying to talk me into it.” Turning to watch her, she rolls her eyes and then makes a popping sound with her mouth.

  “Pop goes Sass’s cherry.”

  I reach for the nearest pillow and smack it into her face making her laugh. “You’re impossible,” I groan.

  She stands, moving over to my drawers. “It’s my last year of school, Sass. I have to make sure before I leave, you experience everything there is to offer.” Livia pulls my school uniform out then reaches for her bag. She grabs out a pair of black shoes, ones I’ve seen the wealthier girls wear with their knee-high socks. The same type Livia wears. The same ones she has on right now, but these are in a brand-new box.

  “Put the effort in, Sass. You’re so beautiful.” She passes me the box, and my clothes, then walks out the door. “Be ready in thirty for this party. Wear the skirt I gave you. Show me those beautiful legs.” She throws me a smile and then she’s gone, leaving me in this shoe box I call a home.

  Standing and picking the skirt up from the floor, I shower and change fast. Tugging on the tight, body-hugging black skirt, I team it with a sparkly black top. Strapping my black sandals around my ankles, I wander out the front and sit on the top step to wait twenty minutes for Livia to show up.

  One hour later she arrives and slides out of her car. She’s dressed much like I expect. Short, black, silver and white dress with a plunging neckline which leaves little to the imagination, with shoestring straps which are so tiny they’re barely there and only just holding up her boobs. Her dress is so short she refuses to bend in it. On her feet are sparkling silver Louboutin’s which are stunningly gorgeous. Her hair is pulled around and to one side, flowing over her shoulder. Why she wears something so short, honestly confuses the hell out of me because it’s so impractical. We walk to the car and slide in, then she takes off with a squeal, and I roll my eyes. She drives like a damn maniac.

  “Kiss someone tonight, will you? For me?” Livia’s fingers are tapping on her steering wheel as she pulls up out front of Cindy’s house. Once we have Cindy, she takes off again.

  “Can we pick up Rob?” Cindy asks.

  Livia scrunches her brows then pulls up a few houses further down the road. Livia isn’t too fond of Robert, but that doesn’t bother me. If she weren’t my cousin, I’d probably not be her friend, because honestly, she’s not my type.

  Rob smirks at me as he gets in—he knows it’s my first party. He knows the reason I’m going as well. I seem to tell him too much, or perhaps he pulls it from me without my consent. Either way, he’s my friend, and I have a lot to do with him and confide in him all the time. And I won’t change that.

  The party is obnoxiously loud, and cars are parked everywhere when we pull up. My hands start sweating as everyone gets out, leaving me sitting in the passenger seat. I can’t seem to move, my body is glued to the seat. The door opens, and I don’t even have it in me to turn my head to see who it is. Deep breaths.

  “Sass, you need to move.” I know this, but Rob’s voice confirms it to me, and somehow I manage to turn to face him.

  “Sass, it’s your first. Once you conquer this one, the rest will be easy,” Liv says, joining in.

  My feet move slowly, and I manage to touch the ground finally getting out of the car. Rob slams the door behind me then slides his arm through mine for support. This right here... this is why we’re friends.

  “Sorry, minor freak out.” I don’t smile, no point to it. They all know, apart from Cindy, how I am. How new situations make me uncomfortable. It’s the only reason I haven’t run away from home and moved in with Liv.

  “You got this, Sass. You’re the prettiest here.” That doesn’t help me, even if Robert means well. I prefer to stay unnoticed, in the background, and far away from people I don’t know.

  “I wouldn’t go that far,” Cindy says, who pushes her brown hair back past her shoulders. She turns and starts toward the house where the music’s coming from. Livia gives my bicep a squeeze before she chases after Cindy, leaving Robert and me out front.

  “We could bail,” I suggest, looking at all the party goers who are clearly holding alcohol in their red cups.

  “Or we could man up and go to our first party like we planned to.”

  I shrug my shoulders.

  “I could get quite a price for that ass.”

  The hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I turn around to the voice that filters in from behind me. Robert turns too, his hand gripping onto my forearm with a tight squeeze.

  “Pretty little blonde... I bet you’re a virgin, too. That would raise the price.”

  My back straightens, and my voice completely fails me. Even if I wanted to speak, what the hell would I say?

  “Party’s inside,” Robert says, pointing behind us.

  Both the guys don’t look or move. Their eyes stay firmly on me. One, in particular, roams me harder than any man has ever looked at me before. He isn’t much older than me though, maybe a few years at best.

  “Quinn, isn’t it? You were three years ahead of us,” Robert states.

  I never paid much attention to people the way Robert does. He always seems to know a lot about people we don’t even socialize with. He’s our very own gossip factory.

  The guy’s eyes move from me, then quickly to Robert. He dismisses him, doesn’t say a word to Robert, but moves back to me. “Tell me, blondie, much family?”

  My breath hitches at his words.

  He can’t be serious, can he?

  He sounds serious, but who asks such a weird thing?

  “What are you doing here?”

  We all turn to the voice. Ryken’s standing two feet away and he steps off the driveway toward us. His eyes skim me over before he looks to the two guys in front of us—one whose name is Quinn.

  “We came to see what the boss’ son gets up to in his free time.” Quinn’s eyes come back to me. “I see you’ve found us some new merchandise.”

  Robert steps back taking me with him, and his grip is firmer on my forearm.

  “Leave.” Ryken’s voice is deep and reverberates with authority.

  Quinn doesn’t laugh or move, though. “I think I might stay. Be good for future business, don’t you think?”

  Ryken shakes his head.

  “We’ll leave you to it,” Robert says, still holding onto me but going to move.

  “Don’t,” Quinn says.

  Ryken steps in front of me blocking Quinn’s eyes from me. “Go! Now,” Ryken says.

  I hear a faint mumble under Robert’s breath, “Thank fuck.” Then he pulls me hard, so I have no choice but to move as fast as him.

  Entering the party, the music blares even more deafeningly all around us. I want to enjoy, take in the ambiance and look around, but I can still feel Quinn’s eyes searching and assessing me. It makes me feel dirty.

  “Shall we dance?”

  I shake my head rapidly. “That isn’t happening.” I can feel the red breaking out on my neck. Nerves take a hold of me, gripping tightly as I become bright red and shaky.

  “Well, we should at least get a drink? Act like we’re enjoying this party.” He smiles, trying to erase what happened outside, but it won’t work. It’s in my head, floating around, and with each second making me feel anxious and uneasy.

  “Sure. Actually, a drink might help.”

  He laughs as he walks to the kitchen, picks up two beers from the cooler then heads back to pass me one.

  “This should be interesting. Have you ever tasted a beer before?”

  I shake my head. In all honesty, I haven’t tried alcohol. “If I get sick, you better look after me.” Putting it to
my lips, I taste the cool liquid and almost spit it back out. Jesus, it tastes like shit. Robert laughs then suddenly stops. His eyes go behind me, and I turn to follow his line of sight. Ryken is standing there, his eyes dark like I witnessed at school. He can’t hide the darkness from me. I wonder if he knows I can see it.

  “You’ll like this better.” Ryken passes me a glass bottle, which looks pale red in color, so I take it in my other hand.

  “Should I be taking a drink from a stranger?” I ask, trying to break the tension I can feel.

  “It’s unopened. So I guess you can.”

  I nod my head, twisting the lid off and tasting it. It’s sweet, tastes a little like raspberry and it doesn’t make me want to spit it out.

  “It’s vodka,” he says.

  “I like it,” I reply in all honesty.

  “You should leave...” His eyes transfer to Robert behind me. “Take her home,” he orders.

  “No. I just got here.”

  His dark eyes fall back to me. His demons are playing, and I can see them dancing in his dark eyes. “You shouldn’t have come.”

  Before I can say another word, Livia walks up behind Ryken. Her arm tangles with his, linking their arms together, and she smiles at me.

  “Ryken, you must dance with me.” She sends me a wink and pulls at him to move. He doesn’t. Instead he watches me closely.

  “I wanted to come,” I reply.

  Shaking his head, he turns to finally look at Livia. Then nods his head.

  I watch as Livia pulls Ryken away and I stand there until he’s out of sight. Drinking the rest of my vodka, I turn to see Robert staring at me.

  “I’ve called a taxi, we’re leaving. You can come to my place, okay? I’ll throw us our own personal party with cake.”

  With a nod of my head, we start walking to the door.

  Then I get a feeling you get when someone’s watching you. You know that feeling. The one where you shouldn’t look up, but you do anyway because the draw is too strong.

  Quinn’s watching me. He’s hard to miss, sitting in a dark corner behind the dance floor. Normally, I would have missed him, seeing as the area is mostly obscured from view. But for some reason, all I can see is his smirk while he watches me.

  I don’t like the way he looks at me.

  I don’t like the way he smirks at me.

  It’s like I’m nothing more than a piece of property.

  Chapter 5

  Ryken

  Quinn’s still hanging around, even though I’ve told him to leave. But Saskia’s leaving, and I stand and watch as she walks out the door while Livia dances circles around me. She’s vying for my attention—attention I’m not willing to give her. My head’s lost in what Quinn wants. What I have to stop him from telling my father about, and how to make sure it doesn’t happen.

  He wants Saskia.

  She’s the perfect choice.

  Little to no family. Poor. Petite and blonde. Blondes always sell best. Especially when they look like a Barbie doll. Which is exactly what she looks like. No one who has any sort of money to search for her. Quinn doesn’t care that her cousin’s family has money because no one searches harder than a parent for their lost child. Certainly not some cousin or their family. I can’t let Quinn tell my father. He’s not privileged to my school friends. They’re completely off limits.

  Livia stops dancing and heads off to get herself a drink.

  Quinn walks up behind me speaking loudly over the music for me to hear. “You know he’ll want her. All it takes is one single call.”

  The people around us all look our way. Quinn was the bad boy of the school when he attended, and rightfully so. He’s as evil as my father. That’s why my father has made him second in command.

  “Don’t you fucking dare!”

  He taps his chin, looking around the room then back to me. “So many for the picking, though. Tourist numbers have been low this last month.”

  “One day I’ll be your fucking boss. You really want to fuck with me?” I step up close to him, so close I can feel his breath on me. We match in height, and Quinn isn’t afraid of me.

  “You’ll never be my boss, you’re too much of a bitch.”

  “Stay the fuck away from the blonde.”

  “What are you going to give me in return?”

  I shake my head at his words. “You want something.”

  He nods his head and smirks. “A favor. You will owe me a favor, Ryken.”

  I was taught to never owe anyone anything, so this goes against the grain. “What exactly do you want?”

  Quinn smirks. “If I agree it means you have to stay away from her.”

  “Easy.” My hands cross over my chest.

  Quinn laughs at me. “I think not.” Then he turns walking away, and as he leaves, Livia grabs hold of my arm again the same way she did before.

  “Who was that?” Her voice is high as I turn to face her. She smiles, placing her hand even higher up on my bicep, and leans in closer.

  “No one.” I attempt to pull away, but she holds on tightly.

  “So Nate and I aren’t a thing anymore, thought you’d like to know that fact.” I nod my head, unsure of how she wants me to answer. “I was thinking you could take me out.”

  “On a date?”

  She nods her head. “Yep. Maybe you can take me to that new seafood restaurant that’s just opened.”

  Before I can answer, I see Cane coming toward us. He opens his hands and slaps them together in the form of a trap and then shakes his head as he passes us.

  “So what time should I be ready?” she asks.

  Shaking my head, I must have missed the part where I said yes.

  “For what?”

  She blushes, and I realize how beautiful she is, despite her crazy way of thinking. But Livia knows what she wants and she goes after it. I definitely respect that.

  “Our date.”

  “Yeah... maybe six.”

  “Awesome, pick me up then.” She leans in and her lips touch mine. She’s soft and tastes like strawberry. I don’t kiss her back, but I let her leave her mark on me without my consent and then don’t move as she pulls away and leaves.

  “Cunt trap just trapped your dick.” Cane’s voice comes up behind me.

  “Kick every fucker out,” I reply to his insult.

  He nods his head, pauses the music, then yells at everyone to leave. Some whine but he doesn’t care. Cane very rarely cares about anyone or anything. It’s one of his positive traits, and I admire that in him. He says it how he feels it.

  The minute everyone’s gone, the lights all turn back on and I sit on the closest sofa with a beer still in hand.

  “My father rang me tonight.”

  Cane sits down, his head shaking. “Have you seen him this month?”

  I hardly ever do unless he wants to check in on me. Even when he’s home, he’s working and has no time for me.

  “Quinn was here.” He sits up straighter. “He was interested in Saskia.”

  “Fuck no,” Cane replies. He knows. I’ve told him what my father does. He just doesn’t know the full extent of his business, but he certainly knows what Quinn does and who he works for.

  “Quinn wanted to save a favor. Who the fuck does that?”

  My head drops to rest on my hand, and my forehead scrunches up in confusion.

  How the fuck has this even happened?

  This year was meant to be smooth and easy. No complications from day-fucking-one.

  I didn’t see that coming.

  I didn’t see her coming.

  “You told him no, right?” Cane asks me.

  Lifting my head, I answer him. “No. I told him yes.”

  This time he swears. “Why the fuck would you do that? You told me from the beginning to never do favors for anyone connected to your father. Yet, you’ve agreed to do Quinn a favor?”

  “I had no fucking choice, he wanted her. All it would have taken would be one phone call to my father and Quinn w
ould have collected her, and there would have been nothing I could have done about it.”

  “You have a fucked-up family. You sure you want to go into business with your dad?”

  “I want the clubs. I was promised the fucking clubs. I don’t want anything to do with the other shit,” I moan, slouching back.

  We hear the door open, and we both turn to see my father walk in. Cane stands, his body locking straight, and I stay exactly where I am. Not fucking moving a muscle.

  “Ryken,” he calls my name, his voice full of authority and darkness—it always holds so much power and control. His authoritarianism has always been too much. “You need to come home.”

  I laugh dryly while looking at him. “Why the fuck would I want to do that?”

  “Because your mother died.”

  Simple.

  Succinct.

  Uncaring.

  Fuck! Fuck! I was not expecting those words to leave his mouth. His expression doesn’t change. Why would it? He hasn’t seen my mother for years. She left because she couldn’t handle what he does or how he treats women.

  “Is that all?”

  Dad nods his head. Quinn stands behind him, watching me. Don’t show emotion. This is my father’s number one rule. They can break you and see your weakness if you show any sort of feelings.

  “Her body will arrive tomorrow. We’ll bury her in our mausoleum.” Then he walks out of the house as quickly as he entered, leaving me sitting there. Shocked. Hurt. Confused. Looking back, Cane finally relaxes now my father’s left.

  “Fuck man, I’m so sorry.”

  I shrug my shoulders then get up, offering him up the shittiest wave to all mankind as I start walking. Away from his house, and onto the black bitumen road that’s deserted. It’s now early morning. The streets at this time usually have no one around, so it’s the place I want to be.