The Right Time

by Susan X Meagher

  “This isn’t the same program I went to, Kate. This is for adults. And I think it can be good. Really good.”

  “You haven’t even tried to find a fellowship in Boston.” Her gaze was unblinking. Heated.

  “I know.” She looked away, stomach turning. “I’m sick of doing research, Kate. That’s not what turns me on. I want to teach motivated people how to write.”

  “You don’t need a PhD to do that, Hennessy. You don’t even need a high school diploma to do that.” Scooting the chair closer, she leaned even further into it, making it squeak in complaint. “Townsend comes back into your life and you’re willing to throw away your degree?” Edging closer, her voice grew harsh. “Our life together?”

  Hennessy shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, then reached out for Kate, trying to grasp at least her chair. But she pushed her heels out, scooting back across the wooden floor to remain tantalizingly out of reach.

  “I need you to listen,” Hennessy said. “Don’t shut me out.”

  “Shut you out? You’re asking for permission to leave our home, Hennessy. Who’s shutting whom out?”

  Her eyes closed as she took that blow like a body shot. “I’m not trying to shut you out, Kate. Please, listen to me.”

  Kate didn’t reply. She just cocked her head slightly.

  “Townsend’s offering more money than I’d make as an assistant professor. And I wouldn’t have to go to one faculty meeting, spend one more hour in the library, or argue with one more student about a grade.”

  “Those things all bother you?” She blinked, clearly confused.

  “Not…” She slammed her eyes shut, knowing she wasn’t making her point clearly. “Not always. But running a writing program would be so much more fun.”

  “I see ads for writing programs all the time around here. If you want to get out of academia, Boston’s got more opportunities than Hilton Head.” Her finger pointed right at Hennessy’s face. “You can’t convince me that’s not true.”

  “Great. Then we don’t need to talk any more. If you’re not willing to listen…” She got up and started for the living room. But Kate leapt to her feet and cut her off before she hit the door.

  “Don’t walk out on me,” she demanded. “I don’t have time to play games, Hennessy. Have you made up your mind, or are we truly having a discussion?”

  They were so close she could see the tiny blood vessels in her eyes. Hennessy itched to move away, to have room to breathe. But she was trapped. Closing her eyes, she told the truth. “I want to take the job. If I start a program that’s really successful, I’d be able to start one anywhere. That would let me follow you wherever you wanted to go, Kate. I wouldn’t be tied to a tenure track I couldn’t get out of.”

  Blue eyes bore into her. “You’re doing this for me?”

  “No,” she admitted, cheeks flushing. “I’m doing it for me. I want to be home,” she moaned, the lure of her beloved South Carolina so close she could taste it. “If I can be near home for a year, I might be able to come back here and not miss it so much.” She grasped Kate by the shoulders and stared into her eyes. “Give me a year. A year where I can see my family every weekend, a year where I can do what I love and figure out if it’s right for me.” Her lip started to quiver and she tried not to blink, not wanting the tears to spill from her watery eyes. “Please let me have a year to see if this is right. If it’s not, I’ll give academia another stab.”

  Kate put her hands on Hennessy’s cheeks, cradling her face. Now her voice was soft and gentle and full of concern. “Is that really your motivation? To be by your family?”

  “Yes,” she whispered, unable to hold the tears back. “I miss my home. I feel like I’ve been visiting here since I was eighteen—and I don’t like it. I’m inside all the time, it’s too cold, it’s too expensive…”

  Arms slid around her waist, wrapping her in a tender hug. “Oh, Boudreaux, I don’t want you to be unhappy.” Gentle kisses peppered her cheeks. “But I need you. Coming home to you keeps me going, baby.”

  “I know,” she said, her guilt about to drown her. “But I need to go. To try this.” She pulled away and forced herself to look into Kate’s haunted eyes. “Just for a year. Then we’ll decide what to do next.”

  Kate’s body shivered roughly, her eyes closing. “I don’t think you’ll ever come back,” she whispered, her voice choked with tears.

  “I will,” she promised. Gently, she traced her fingers across Kate’s face, caressing her smooth brow, the delicate skin around her eyes, her trembling chin. “I’ll come home to you.” She turned Kate toward the bed, took her hand and pulled her down. “Let me show you how much I love you,” she murmured, nuzzling her face against her neck. “Let me make love to you.”

  Kate lay in her arms, her whole body shivering. “Promise you love me,” she begged, showing a vulnerability that shocked Hennessy to the core.

  “I do,” she whispered tenderly, holding her face in her hands. “I love you. And I’ll come home to you in May. I promise that.”

  As soon as Townsend walked out of her last class of the day she checked her phone, then returned Hennessy’s call, tapping her foot anxiously while she waited. “Hi, it’s me.”

  “We need to talk. I’ve got more questions than I can even think to list. Do you have time to get together today?”

  “I do. I’m finished for the day, and don’t have plans until seven. What’s good for you?”

  “I’m at your disposal.”

  “I didn’t ask where you live.”

  “Allston.”

  “Over by BU?” She laughed. “This is my home town, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in that neighborhood.”

  “Then I’ll come to you.”

  “I’ve been in class all day and I’m dying to be outside. Why don’t you meet me in the Common. Do you know where Frog Pond is?”

  “I certainly do. It’s where the frogs are. I can probably be there in an hour.”

  “You have a date.”

  Townsend dashed home first to drop her things off and grab lunch. Then she walked back, while trying to settle her nerves. It was crazy to be nervous. There wasn’t anyone who knew her better than Hennessy. And there definitely wasn’t anyone who’d seen her at a lower point. But you couldn’t go through the ups and downs they’d weathered and not feel a little anxious at the thought of working together.

  Townsend was still quite a few yards away when she spotted Hennessy coming toward the pond from the other direction. Watching her walk, her heart started to race. Just like the first time she’d seen her, she let herself take her in.

  She’d only gotten better looking in the last few years. No longer the lanky young girl whose clothes were always a size too big. Back then, she seemed like she had the potential to really own her body, but she’d have to work at it. Now there was no question she was in control. That raven hair was tossed around by the wind as she stood still and slowly turned her head, scanning the people gathered around. Tall, trim, and self-possessed—that was today’s Hennessy. When her eyes landed on Townsend her face broke into a fantastic smile, and Townsend knew she was going to say yes.

  Hurrying to close the distance between them, Townsend wrapped her in a hug and said, “We’re going to make this a kick ass writing program.”

  As Hennessy pulled away, a wry grin settled onto her face. “Am I that transparent?”

  “To me you are. And that’s just how I like it.” She took her hand and led her to a bench. “I’m ready. Start asking questions.”

  Her befuddled smile was downright funny. “Now that I’m here, I can’t think of any. I just want to start work.”

  “Then I have one. What does Kate think about this?”

  She sucked in and let out a long, shaky breath. “She’s certainly not happy about it.”

  “About the job? Or where it is? Or…who your co-worker is?”

  “All three,” Hennessy admitted, her cheeks coloring. She looked down at the ground, then s
lowly let her eyes travel up to meet Townsend’s concerned gaze. “I haven’t spent much time telling her how unhappy I’ve been, so this has caught her by surprise.” She let out a shaky sigh. “And she just doesn’t want me to leave. She relies on me to keep things running. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Everything.” She put her hand up to her forehead and rubbed the area above her eyes for a minute.

  “And love,” Townsend said, getting to the important thing. “She relies on you to love her.”

  “Yeah,” she said softly. “She does.”

  “Maybe you’d better think about it for a while and see if you can convince her this is a good idea.”

  Hennessy’s expression clouded over. “After we talked, I thought we’d reached an agreement. But right before she left for work, she told me the guy who heads the critical care unit at Palmetto Health in Columbia has been trying to recruit her.” An angry scowl settled onto her face. “I could take the job at USC, and we’d be in the exact same town. Close to my family. To my home. But she hadn’t even told me about the possibility because she refused to consider it.” She looked up and fixed Townsend with a penetrating gaze. “Duke recruited the hell out of me. I could have been one state away from home and have a PhD from a great program. But I stayed in Boston for five extra years. For her,” she stressed emphatically. “Only for her.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Townsend said, taking her hand and holding it tenderly. “That must have hurt.”

  “It sure as heck did. We argued like we never have, then she said that since I didn’t think it was important to live together, she couldn’t guarantee she’d take any job in the South.” She looked like she was about to burst. “She accused me of putting my career before our relationship. Me!” She gripped her hair with both hands, like she was about to tear it out. “I’ve supported her in every way I know how. Every way!”

  “Fuuuuuck.” She grasped Hennessy’s leg. “Don’t let this ruin something you’ve worked so hard at.”

  “After today, I need a break. I’m going to pack my things up and head on down to Beaufort. I’ll be waiting for you.”

  Townsend closed her eyes. “The last thing I wanted was to create trouble for you. But when you told me that your dream was to do exactly what this job requires…”

  Hennessy put a hand on her arm and squeezed it. “I can’t tell you how excited I am about the job. Kate’s hurt, but when she gets past that, we’ll be fine.”

  Townsend gripped her arm and squeezed. “Think about it hard, Hennessy. I don’t ever want you to think I played a hand in destroying your relationship.”

  “I would never, ever think that. Every problem we have has been brewing for a while. A little distance will give us some clarity.”

  “If you’re sure…”

  “Did you bring the contract?”

  Townsend blinked slowly. “I thought we were just going to chat.”

  “I’m ready to sign. Then I’ll need details on when our sessions are, how long they’re going to be, what level of education and experience the students need to have, and how many courses you want to have for each session. By the time you get to Hilton Head, you’d better be ready to hit the ground running.” Her smile was back. The bright, rich, Hennessy special. Townsend had never seen anything lovelier.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Flinching when a key slid into the lock, Hennessy took a look at the clock on her desk, amazed when she saw a big 6-0-0 staring at her. She started to get up, but quickly realized there was no way to hide what she’d been doing.

  A moment later, Kate stood in the doorway. The expression on her face was one Hennessy would have been very thankful never to see again. A gaggle of awful emotions marred that beautiful face: betrayal, loss, anger, maybe even disgust. She looked as tired as Hennessy had ever seen her, scrub pants hanging low on her hips, her top slightly askew. Golden hair half out of a hastily created ponytail. Dark circles underlining droopy eyes. “You can’t wait to leave,” she said, her voice almost a whisper.

  “No!” Jumping to her feet, Hennessy approached her cautiously, worried Kate might push her away. But she just stood there, hands limp at her sides. “I’m trying to get organized.”

  “You’re packing your books at six o’clock in the morning, Hennessy. That’s not being organized.” She spit the last word out like a curse.

  “Yes, it is. Really.” Up close, Kate looked even worse, her skin much paler than normal. “I signed the contract today,” Hennessy said, shifting her gaze so she didn’t have to look into Kate’s eyes. “It’s from June first until the end of May. Since your fellowship’s over in May, we’ll definitely want to move—somewhere. I’m just trying to get rid of stuff I don’t need so you don’t have to do it.”

  She wanted to believe it. Hennessy could see her trying to. Her eyes got a little wider, peering closely into Hennessy’s. “Really? That’s honestly all you’re doing?”

  “I’m keyed up,” she admitted. “I’ve got a million things going on in my head, so I wanted to stay busy.”

  A little warmth came back into Kate’s gaze. “So we’ve got three more weeks?”

  Her heart sank. She’d already found a good airfare for Saturday, just two days from then. The thought of spending time with her family for a few weeks was so alluring. It was exactly what she needed. But Kate needed her too. At least she did at the moment. Earlier in the day, she would have been happy to kick her to the curb. “I haven’t made any firm plans.” Reaching out, she put a hand on her shoulder, sick when she felt it tremble. “Do you want me to stay until the last minute?”

  Moving toward the bed, Kate started to strip out of her scrubs. “Is that a genuine question?” Her eyes settled on the bed, with a look of such longing Hennessy’s heart skipped a beat. She’d never be able to understand how chronically tired Kate was. She dropped to the bed, still in her underwear.

  “I would have guessed you’d be glad to have me gone,” Hennessy said.

  Kate’s hand extended, gripped Hennessy by the wrist and pulled her down. “We can’t have discussions like that when I’m on my way to work, Boudreaux. It’s asking for trouble.”

  “Then when are we supposed to have them? You don’t have a day off until Friday. I can’t stuff everything down, waiting for your schedule to open up.”

  The pain in her eyes was still so vivid it hurt Hennessy to take it in. “Most major decisions can wait a couple of days. But you were so anxious to get moving on this…” She trailed off, gazing down at her hands, lying atop her thighs. That was so unlike her, sitting there looking so impotent. Kate was usually full of energy, decisive, determined. Her whole affect threw Hennessy off her game.

  “It’s a big deal,” she said. “I couldn’t accept a job without talking to you.”

  “You didn’t talk to me,” Kate said, anger once again sharpening her gaze. “You informed me. There’s a huge difference.”

  That got in. Hennessy winced at the truth of Kate’s accusation. She hadn’t wanted her input. She only wanted to notify her and start packing. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. Instinctively, her head settled atop Kate’s shoulder and she sighed when a comforting arm tucked around her waist. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking of you nearly as much as I should have. I was just so excited…”

  “I can see that. But think of how this looks to me.” She gently gripped Hennessy’s chin and tilted it so they looked into each other’s eyes. “You worked like a maniac to get your degree and finish your book. Then you got two excellent tenure-track offers, neither of which you want to take. So you kept interviewing, trying hard to get the perfect job in the perfect place. Everything’s going in one direction, Hennessy. Point A to point B to point C. Then Townsend sweeps in and you’re ready to throw everything away to do something completely out of left field.” She was clearly trying to stay calm, but her fingers kept compressing tighter.

  Hennessy grasped her hand and held it to keep from being unintentionally bruised. It did look bad. Awful
really. Her mouth was dry as she tried to explain herself with some degree of clarity. “I got on this path and haven’t stopped to make sure it’s the path I want,” she said, her pulse starting to pound in her veins. “When I heard about Townsend’s job it hit me like a ton of bricks, Kate. Teaching adults—small groups of adults who really want to learn—is what I want to do. Even better, this job will give me time to write. Fiction. Something professors don’t do.”

  “There’s no rule against that. They can’t stop you from being creative.”

  “Having all of your students, much less your peers read your work is disincentive enough. No one has to tell you not to do it.”

  Kate stood, quickly dropped her remaining clothing and headed for the bathroom, Hennessy trailing behind. After putting her hair up to keep it dry, Kate got into the shower and flinched when the cold water hit her in the face. Hennessy leaned against the sink, watching her, hurting over Kate’s pointed rejection. They almost always showered together, an intimacy she loved.

  “How long have you hated teaching?” Kate asked, cleaning herself in quick, workmanlike fashion. Probably the same way she scrubbed up for surgery. “And why haven’t you ever mentioned you hate the whole fucking point of your job?”

  “I don’t hate teaching,” Hennessy said. “I’ve loved every minute of every creative writing seminar I’ve led. It’s the big survey courses I hate. The ones where I feel like I have to tap dance to capture anyone’s attention.” She took a breath. “I not only hate doing it, I’m not particularly good at it.” That was hard to admit. She’d always thought you could work your way past any limitations, but that simply wasn’t true. “It’s going to drain me over time. I can feel it in my bones.”