Waer

by Meg Caddy

  Lycaea, for her part, stayed away. I could not tell if she felt guilty or just lacked the patience. She had not truly known my family or the Gwydhan Valley, and to her it was just another example of the destruction Leldh could wreak. And he was searching for her.

  She was difficult and distant until we left the steeper climbs and descended into the plains at the foot of the mountains, to the south-east of the Valley. It was the furthest south I had ever been. Already, the land had changed beneath my feet. The soil was harder, the grass less green. I had to force myself not to turn around, to search for what I had known.

  The land ahead was vast. Grass and fields lounged before us, impossibly wide. In the distance, on the rise of a gradual slope, I could just make out the fringes of a forest. To the west, I knew the river lay nestled between grassy banks; I could hear it, but I could not see it. When we reached the road protruding from the mountains, I sat and stared at the world ahead. I had known it was much bigger than the Valley, but having it before me was a different matter.

  I wanted to go home.

  ‘We have to stay off the road.’ I would have expected the comment from Lycaea, ever-vigilant, but instead it came from Moth. ‘If they have finished searching the Valley, they will come through here.’

  ‘Yes.’ Lycaea released a long breath. ‘We’re exposed here, too. Too open. We’ll have to push hard until we reach those trees.’

  ‘What do we do in the event of an attack?’ Dodge asked. He took a swig from the water-skin and handed it to Moth.

  ‘We scatter,’ Lycaea answered. ‘Though I imagine you will have to stay with Moth.’

  Sometimes I wondered about Moth; whether perhaps she was more frail than she seemed. I supposed she had to be well enough to travel with Dodge, but I worried there was something wrong with her, something no one had told me. I resolved to be kinder to her, and more watchful.

  Lycaea was correct, we did have to push hard to travel across the plain by nightfall, but was much easier going than the mountains. The grass reached my knees as I walked, and although it was different from the grass at home, if I ignored the scent I could pretend I was back in the Valley.

  I put my head down and walked. Rain fell. Dusk stretched over our heads, cool and welcoming. I thought of the day Mother realised she was pregnant with Kemp. Father had taken me out to the forest and we had camped there, just the two of us. The forest had been dark and brisk, and the next day we ached to the bone with tiredness and the cold, but I was jubilant. It was the first time I had felt admitted into the adult world.

  I would have given anything to have them back.

  I went about the Grey Worship as soon as we were sheltered by the trees. The others waited for me; I knew Lycaea was impatient to make camp, but said nothing.

  ‘I’ll take the first watch tonight,’ she said as we started off once more, seeking a good place to stop for the night. She pushed low-hanging branches aside and held them back so they did not snap in our faces. The gesture was small, but it surprised me, and reminded me again that perhaps she was not so callous as she sometimes pretended.

  ‘If you are tired, I can take the first watch,’ I offered.

  ‘It’s fine, Wolf,’ she said. I wished she would call me by my name. ‘You and Dodge will need your sleep for tomorrow.’ I frowned. Lycaea glanced at me. ‘No longer so keen?’ she asked. ‘I thought you wanted to learn to fight.’

  I felt my features draw back in surprise. ‘Really?’

  ‘I said I would, didn’t I?’ She sounded irritated. ‘Or perhaps you’ve changed your mind.’

  ‘I want to learn.’

  ‘Well, we’ll see how long that lasts.’

  ‘Not everything you touch ends in disaster, lass.’ Dodge rocked Lycaea’s shoulder with a friendly hand. She shrugged him off, but not before I noticed the twist of her lips. Almost a smile. She creased her face into a frown, hiding any traces.

  ‘Here will do,’ she said, changing the subject and shedding her sword and cloak as we came to a clearing. ‘We can meet up with the river tomorrow afternoon. There are enough trees running along the banks to shelter us. Is everyone capable of going straight through to Luthan without stopping in Coserbest?’

  ‘I think we should stop,’ Dodge said. ‘We need blankets, lass, and some proper supplies. It’s a miracle we made it out of the mountains, frankly. We’re all a good sight thinner than we were when we left the Valley.’

  He was right there. Moth was more bird-like than ever. The sharpness of Lycaea’s face was pronounced. Dodge’s cheeks were becoming hollow.

  ‘I agree,’ I said. We all looked at Moth.

  ‘I think we should stop to get supplies, but not overnight,’ she said. ‘We need to make the best time we can to Luthan. We go in, we visit the market, and we get back on the road. Coserbest has sailors and chipre-folk passing through all the time. Hopefully no one will look at us twice.’

  ‘Very well.’ I could tell Lycaea was displeased, but she was outnumbered. She scraped a clear space in the dirt with her foot, then used the tip of her stolen sword to sketch out a map. ‘We follow the river east, all the way to where it splits. We take the upper river road to the coast. After that, it’s about half a day to Coserbest, on the coastline. We pick up supplies, and then double back to take the lower river road, all the way to Luthan. It should take us about fifteen or sixteen days, including the detour to Coserbest.’

  ‘Fourteen, at our pace,’ Dodge disagreed.

  ‘Our pace will be slower if I’m teaching the two of you how to fight. Moth, do we have any of the rabbits left?’ I had hunted for us three nights before, revelling in the peace and the freedom of my wolf shape. I was glad when Moth shook her head.

  ‘I can hunt for more,’ I volunteered.

  ‘Are you sure?’ Moth asked.

  ‘It is as invigorating as sleep,’ I told her. I made sure Lycaea heard my words. Her refusal to Shift disturbed me. Perhaps she feared the pain. If so, the only cure was to practise Shifting until she overcame it and her body adjusted.

  Lycaea, stoic and stone-faced, looked away as I Shifted. I wanted another waer around. I wanted to run with her, to hunt with her. The wolf in me recognised her as pack, yearned for the rough play and closeness of our own kind. She held back. Everything about her screamed she was holding back. I could not understand.

  I left them, and went to hunt.

  The next morning dawned with just a whimper of rain and we managed to find dry rosemary for the Dawn Worship. Though the skies remained heavy, it did not seem we would have wild weather for the rest of the day. I was relieved; I knew the lessons were going to be hard enough without the rain.

  Moth sat at the fringes of the clearing, the waterskin freshly filled. Dodge played the fool for a short while, larking around to elicit Moth’s laughter. Once Lycaea was ready, however, he stopped and focused, dark eyes on the angular young woman in front of us.

  ‘Before you learn to land a blow, you need to learn to take one,’ she said. ‘We can start with hand-to-hand combat, and then work with the two swords we have. Stretch and warm yourself first.’ She took us through different ways to ready our muscles for the exercise. When she deemed us ready, she showed us how to roll with a fall, to prevent breaking bones, and how to lessen the impact of a blow. In spite of her warnings, I was surprised how painless the experience was. She was careful and matter-of-fact in her instruction. She taught us how to throw someone off when they had you pinned to the ground, and how to twist your hand out of someone’s grip, no matter how hard they held you. She also instructed how to knock someone out with your head, though she declined to have us demonstrate on one another, as Dodge suggested.

  By midday, all three of us were sweat-drenched and exhausted, and Lycaea called an end to the lesson. We drank from the waterskin, packed our belongings, and walked again. Moth gathered various plants as we went; she seemed happier in the forest. Even Lycaea was in good spirits, letting Moth check her head wound without scowl or complai
nt. And Dodge was correct; although we delayed for the lessons each morning, we reached the fork in the river a day earlier than expected. Moth begged some bread from a local farmer, much to Lycaea’s horror, and we ate well that night. Rabbits, chestnuts, and watercress gathered from the streams coming off the river. Worth the risk, I thought, for full stomachs.

  By the time we reached the fork in the river, Lycaea decided it was time for us to try using swords. We only had the two she had stolen from the soldiers in the Valley, so we had to learn this one-on-one. I was glad when Dodge opted to learn first. Lycaea had been a good teacher thus far, but I could smell her nerves and it made me edgy. I went to sit by Moth. She seemed agitated herself, picking at stray threads on her yellow dress.

  ‘Have you seen Lycaea use a sword?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes, dear. Many times. She prefers a bow-staff, but Hemanlok has all his people trained in a number of weapons.’

  ‘I saw her fight the night we left the Valley.’ I could not forget the blood.

  Moth took my hand. Her fingers were long and worn, knotted with years of toil.

  ‘Whenever you need to talk about it, I’m here,’ she said.

  Dodge and Lycaea finished stretching and picked up their swords. Slowly at first, they started to drill. I found myself watching their feet more than their swords. Lycaea was never still, but never moved without purpose. Each motion was clean and precise. After a short while, I could smell Dodge’s sweat. He was not a young man, and Lycaea was relentless. Their breathing became audible. The swish and clank of metal, previously slow, was starting to quicken.

  ‘Faster,’ Lycaea snapped.

  ‘Easy, lass.’ Dodge tried to laugh, but he was breathless. I felt Moth’s hand tighten about mine.

  ‘Faster,’ Lycaea repeated. ‘Will your enemy slow for you?’

  ‘Lass.’ His voice grew sharp. ‘I canna keep up.’

  ‘Lycaea.’ I pulled my hand from Moth’s and stood. ‘Slow down.’

  She did not reply this time, but she swung the sword down at Dodge’s foot. He jumped and the sword hit the dirt. She swung it up, sending soil spraying as she came back to position.

  ‘Lycaea, stop!’

  She stepped in and drove the hilt of her sword into Dodge’s gut. When he doubled over, she grabbed his hair and dragged him down. He fell. I raced forwards. Lycaea kicked Dodge in the ribs and spun to face me. I snatched Dodge’s sword from where it had fallen. Just in time, I met her blade. The clash of metal shook through my arm. Her eyes were flat, unseeing. Dodge lay gasping on the ground. I had never used a sword before. I gripped it with both hands, trying desperately to meet each swing. She clipped my arm. Pain shot through me. I almost dropped the sword. Lycaea stepped back, then lunged in. I fell to a knee and lifted the sword, pushed it up and aside. My arm bled. A blur in front of my eyes. My head screamed. My back found the dirt. The world was water, and Lycaea rippled as she stood above me.

  Moth, behind Lycaea, put her hands on either side of the woman’s head. A flash of green light. Dodge pried the sword from Lycaea’s grip. Lycaea tensed, then swayed, then fell.

  I stared at Moth. Her hands were still raised, and the air around them glowed. Her eyes were ancient.

  Kaebha

  Leldh pressed the hilt of the sword into her hand. His face was close to hers. He smiled, and his teeth gleamed in the light of the torches along the wall.

  ‘Your strike, Kaebha,’ he said.

  She curled her fingers about the sword. It was cool in her hand. The woman on the floor, bleeding and broken, stared at her with dull eyes. She was young, perhaps a few years younger than Kaebha herself. Dark hair, dark eyes. Just another one of Leldh’s prisoners. A waer, as so many had been.

  Kaebha circled the woman on the floor. Her boots met blood, came away sticky and wet. Her lip curled. Unclean. She would have to do as Cooper had suggested and scour everything once she was done here. Waer blood was filthy. She could not afford to be infected.

  ‘Kaebha.’ Leldh’s voice was stern. ‘Focus.’

  Kaebha tested the sword in the air, twisted it in a figure-of-eight. The waer-woman whined, twisting on the floor, and covered her head. Her feet were bare and dirty. Half her fingers were broken. She was skinny, hair shaved and skin raw, her lips swollen and cracked. The band of silver about her ankle kept her from Shifting, and burned deep welts into her flesh. She shivered and whimpered, her leg kicking in a feeble, futile attempt to push the silver away.

  Kaebha could not move.

  ‘Kaebha!’

  She lowered the sword. Flashes of her old life choked her. She remembered. Her body screamed. There had been days before Daeman Leldh. Days of summer and salted air. Her hands faltered.

  She stepped away.

  ‘No,’ she said. She could feel Cooper’s sneer, twisting into the back of her neck. She could feel Leldh’s displeasure. He cleared the distance between them, grabbed her arm.

  ‘Deny me again,’ he whispered. ‘Just once, Kaebha.’

  ‘I cannot do this. She is an innocent. Scarcely more than a child.’

  Leldh wrenched her arm. The sword clattered to the ground. Kaebha cried out. There was a loud snap. Broken bone. Kaebha cradled the limb, knowing worse was still to come. Leldh spat on her and stood back.

  ‘Cooper,’ he said. The Pellish man strode forward, snatched up the sword, and ran the waer woman through. Kaebha heard a scream and a gurgle, watched as the prisoner curled on the ground and died slowly. Leldh’s attention was on Kaebha. He crouched before her and grabbed her chin.

  ‘Loyalty,’ he said. ‘Loyalty, Kaebha. You have failed me.’

  She did not argue. She knew it was true. She had no explanation for her inaction.

  ‘I hate to punish you.’ Leldh rose. ‘You show so much potential. But you need to learn obedience, and loyalty. The canine qualities.’ He seemed thoughtful, golden eyes mild. Kaebha lowered her head. Sweat beaded on her brow and rolled down past her cheeks. Leldh let her wait.

  ‘My lord.’ Cooper was too eager. He wanted to see her punished. Kaebha could read the irritation in Leldh’s reply.

  ‘Yes. Very well.’ She heard his boots clip the floor as he walked towards the door. ‘Beat her, then bring her to me. Keep her conscious. I want her to feel every moment.’

  Lycaea

  ‘Get up. Get up and try again.’ Hemanlok threw the stave at me. My limbs were heavy and sore. The air was stale with sweat.

  ‘Pathetic.’ A low, melodious chuckle from my mother, leaning on the railing to watch us train. She was waiting to deal with Hemanlok; one of the few occasions she was allowed onto his turf. ‘Why did you take her under your roof?’

  ‘She wouldn’t leave me alone until I did.’

  I tasted dust again as he knocked me flat onto my belly. Hemanlok’s lip curled. He was embarrassed, I realised. Embarrassed by my failure, especially in front of my mother.

  ‘Control,’ he said. ‘You need – to learn – control.’

  The training-ring disappeared. A flash of gold eyes. The stench of burning flesh.

  Kaebha.

  I woke screaming her name. Damn her. Damn him. I would never escape them. Daeman Leldh and his pet torturer. I was shamed by the sweat staining my clothing, slicking my hair. My hands shook. My head reeled. All I could hear was the boot-like drum of my heart, and the sound of my own ragged breaths.

  ‘Lass.’

  I saw Dodge, and a new shame rose to replace the old. I had swung the sword at him, unable to stop myself. I remembered knocking him to the ground. Kicking him, a man who had never done me harm. Guilt made me mute. He sat by me, cross-legged. Bedraggled. Hesitant. Afraid to see who would look out at him from my eyes. I swallowed to clear my dry throat. Moth had done the only thing she could. I was grateful to her. I could have done so much damage.

  It was an effort to move my hand. More of an effort to take Dodge’s, to try to convey my remorse. His palm, rough and weathered, was warm. He squeezed my hand and pulled me into his
arms. I hunched over and let him hug me. My lungs eased. We sat in silence, and then I pulled away from him. It was all I could do to school my features and speak calmly.

  ‘It won’t happen again.’

  ‘Past is past,’ he said. ‘I know you didna mean to, and there’s no lasting harm done.’ He touched my cheek, fatherly and forgiving. ‘We have new problems to address, though. Moth had to make you sleep. Lowell saw.’

  I winced. ‘Where is he?’

  ‘Hunting. He willna speak to her. He’s frightened, lass, and alone. First you scared him witless, and then Moth did. We’ve known him since he was a child. It’s too much for him to realise that he hasna known us. You’ll have to be the one to explain.’

  ‘I will.’ I owed him. Dodge, whom I had known since I was a child myself. Dodge, with his stories and his unyielding love for Moth. Dodge, who had almost been cut open by my sword-strike. ‘Are you sure he’ll come back?’

  ‘He doesna have anywhere else to go.’ Dodge reached for my cloak. He eased it around my shoulders and fastened the clasp. ‘Listen. We’re only a day or so from Coserbest. I think it’s best if Moth and I go on into the town to gather supplies. You and Lowell can walk on without us or stay here. We’ll catch up with you either way. I believe he needs some space from us. This will be a lot for him to take in. I remember hearing it for the first time.’

  I nodded. I had been raised with the knowledge of Moth and Hemanlok’s dark business with their third associate. Lowell had not. I remembered Moth’s words about his world expanding too far.

  ‘You’re best staying out of the town in any case,’ Dodge said. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘I think you’re a wise man.’ The words were stiff on my lips, but they brought a warmth to Dodge’s eyes. He leaned forwards and kissed my forehead. My eyes stung.

  ‘Chin up, lass,’ Dodge said. ‘You’re almost home.’