Mayhem in Bath

by Sandra Heath

  As soon as Lord Algernon fell, Georgiana rushed forward with such exclamations of alarm and concern that the Duchess of York felt obliged to comfort her. The gentlemen conveyed the marquess into the pavilion and laid him upon a sofa, where Georgiana ministered to him with a scented, jelly-stained handkerchief. Lord Algernon hardly seemed to know what had happened to him. His face bore a confused expression, as if he couldn’t even remember his name, but then, Polly thought uncharitably, from what she’d seen of him, he probably couldn’t!

  Her thoughts returned to the matter of Bodkin’s whereabouts. She looked intently around for any further sign of him, but all seem quiet. The duke had recovered sufficiently to resume his rather haphazard inspection of the regiment. Rank after rank of mounted men passed by in rigid formation, and His Royal Highness gazed blandly at them, snapping his fingers to one of his gentlemen for another glass of champagne.

  Polly stood there. Where was that wretched brownie? If only she could speak to him long enough to tell him the truth. Suddenly her reticule was snatched from her, just as the parasol had been earlier. She gasped with alarm. Was she the victim of a thief, or was Bodkin at work again? There was no sign of a fleeing miscreant, no angry protests as people were elbowed aside to clear the way. It must have been Bodkin! Gazing frantically around, she was horrified to find herself suddenly looking into Dominic’s eyes again.

  He was standing about ten feet away from her, and his gaze was suspicious to say the least A mixture of indignation and anger spurted through her, for it was clear he believed she had something to do with what had happened to the marquess. Then he looked away as something in the review proved temporarily more interesting than mad Miss Peach. In fact it was Harry Dashingham’s company riding by, although Polly was not to know that as her gaze followed Dominic’s to the gallant major. As they both watched, Polly’s heart plummeted as she saw her reticule fly through the air to strike the flank of Harry’s horse. The animal gave a nervous whinny, and ceased its collected trot to caper around. Harry strove to keep his mount under control, but it was too unnerved, and he was soon obliged to jump down from the saddle or be flung at the duke’s feet like Lord Algernon. As he grabbed the reins to prevent the horse from making off, a strangely raucous voice yelled out a command. “Company, halt!”

  The light dragoons reined in immediately, looking around in amazement to see why they’d been ordered to do so. Harry gestured wildly for them to ride on, but before they had the wit to do so, the ranks behind collided with them. Instant chaos ensued, and the openmouthed Duke of York stared in utter fascination as the proud review descended into pantomime.

  Polly slipped hastily away into the crowds before Dominic could publicly accuse her. Her thoughts were savage. Oh, Bodkin, if I lay hands upon you, I’ll tie your tail in a knot! As soon as she was well away from the pavilion, she gathered her skirts to run to her carriage. Her reticule wasn’t of importance, for it contained nothing of value, and besides, she could hardly risk being seen retrieving it! To her dismay she heard footsteps in pursuit, and knew it would be Dominic. She didn’t halt until her hand was on the carriage door, but then she turned reluctantly to face him.

  He held up her reticule angrily. “You left this behind, I believe, madam!” he snapped.

  “I admit it’s mine. Sir Dominic, but someone stole it just before it was thrown at the horse.” she said defensively.

  “Oh, of course! I suppose it was the same villain who made free with your parasol!”

  “Yes, probably,” she replied, reaching out for the reticule, but he snatched it back.

  “Miss Peach, it was bad enough that you threw your reticule, but why did you have to go so far as to shout that order? And what did you do to Hightower? I didn’t see exactly what happened, but I know you were behind it!”

  “I wasn’t behind anything, I didn’t throw my reticule, and I certainly didn’t shout that order!”

  “Your capacity for lying is astounding! Of course you did it all!”

  “And your capacity for not listening to the truth is equally astounding!” she cried. “I haven’t done any of these things, yet you accuse me as if you have proof and this were a court of law!”

  “I don’t need proof to know you are guilty. Madam, have you any idea of the damage you’ve caused?” He gestured behind at the mayhem of horses and riders. “As it is, you’ve made a mockery of the entire occasion, but you might easily have killed Hightower and Harry.”

  “Harry?”

  “Major Harry Dashingham, your unfortunate victim, and my best friend!”

  “I’m very sorry for what happened to both of them, but I wasn’t responsible for either occurrence. In fact a bee caused the first incident. I saw it fly away from the horse’s neck. Be sensible, Sir Dominic. You know where I was standing, so how could I possibly have thrown the reticule from that angle? And how could I shout without everyone around me knowing?”

  “Miss Peach, where you’re concerned, anything is possible.” He thrust the reticule into her hand, deciding she was too impossible for further argument.

  “Very well, if that’s to be your attitude, perhaps I should point out that you were present on all three occasions today, and so just as likely to be guilty as I.”

  He was outraged at such a suggestion. “That’s totally ridiculous! I was once an officer in the Duke of York’s Own Light Dragoons, so the last thing I’d do is heap ridicule upon such a distinguished regiment, or endanger the lives of fellow officers!”

  “I have only your word for that. You seem quite as mad to me as I clearly seem to you.”

  “Indeed? Well, if you’re so innocent, why are you running away like this?”

  “It was in the vain hope of avoiding another disagreeable confrontation with you. Unfortunately, I didn’t run quickly enough, for here you are.”

  “Please don’t let me detain you a moment more. Miss Peach, for this conversation is clearly an exercise in futility.”

  His tone was condescending, but before she could issue a suitable devastating response, something happened that rendered them both speechless. A number of riderless horses suddenly bolted from the down in the direction of Bath. The runaways weren’t army horses, but belonged to some of the gentlemen who’d ridden from Bath, and Dominic’s thoroughbred was at the head of them. Polly watched, too, for although Dominic’s horse was riderless, it seemed being urged for all it was worth. Bodkin, she thought with an inward sigh.

  Cries of dismay resounded from people who’d witnessed this fresh disturbance, and several gentlemen ran pointlessly after their fleeing property, but stood no chance of catching up. A group of ladies in the carriage next to Polly’s were so alarmed that they were obliged to resort to sal volatile, and a number of children in the crowds began to cry.

  Polly glanced at Dominic, who had wisely chosen not to chase after his mount. “I trust you do not mean to accuse me of this as well? Mayhap my arm is long enough for me to have untied them while standing here talking to you?”

  “No, Miss Peach, I have to judge you totally innocent this time,” he murmured as the little herd disappeared toward Bath.

  “Fortune smiles upon me at last,” she replied dryly.

  The review had now become such a shambles that the Duke of York decided it was advisable to lower a timely curtain. He issued the orders, and highly embarrassed officers went about the business of calling off the long-rehearsed parade. People began to return to their carriages, offering seats to those whose horses had now gone, and Polly felt obliged to offer similar assistance to Dominic. She didn’t want to extend any assistance to him, not only because he was so disagreeable, but also because such an act would infringe upon propriety, but circumstances seemed to require it

  She looked a little awkwardly at him. “I... I know it may not be quite the thing, and that you would prefer to travel with Beelzebub himself, but under the circumstances I feel it right to offer you a seat in my carriage for the return to Royal Crescent” She didn’t want hi
m to accept; indeed she was convinced he’d decline in no uncertain manner, but to her horror he nodded.

  “I would be most grateful, Miss Peach,” he murmured.

  “You ... you would?”

  “Certainly. Are you leaving now?”

  “Well, I...” What of the Gotenuvs? she thought. Was there any point now in trying to find them? She thought not. “Yes, I think it best, don’t you?”

  “There is little to stay here for,” he replied, opening the carriage door to hand her inside, then he clambered in as well and sat opposite her. As the carriage drove off from the scene of the virtual annihilation of the Duke of York’s Own Light Dragoons, Polly was aware of a most unwanted flutter of excitement because she was alone and private with Dominic. In spite of everything, she couldn’t help being drawn to him. Oh, if only they could be more amiable toward each other. If only a lot of things, come to that...

  Chapter 14

  The return to Bath was at first conducted in a rather awkward atmosphere, for once they were alone together, Polly grew more and more conscious of how flagrant a breach of etiquette and propriety the short journey a due was. What Dominic thought, she did not know, but she wished with all her heart that she hadn’t given in to the urge to ask him to accompany her. But it was too late now.

  “Will you be long in Bath, Miss Peach?” he asked, clearly just to break the silence.

  “I trust not.”

  “So it isn’t a pleasure visit?”

  “Far from it.”

  He looked inquiringly at her. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  She met his gaze. “Are you? I would have thought you’d exult in the knowledge that I am here under disagreeable circumstances.”

  “You wrong me. Miss Peach, for I am not the monster you seem to think.” .

  “And I am not the lunatic you seem to think,” she replied.

  There was a pause, and then he gave her a sheepish grin. “You have me there, for I confess I did wonder.”

  “Past tense? Come now, sir, be honest. You still harbor doubts concerning my sanity.”

  He laughed. “No, Miss Peach, I no longer harbor doubts.”

  “Presumably because you now know me to be mad,” she murmured.

  “I crave your pardon for any thoughts I may have had, for your innocence regarding the runaway horses rather put everything into perspective.”

  “Even though you believe I throw parasols at innocent bystanders, talk to jellies, lay waste to buffets, and throw reticules at horses?”

  “You embarrass me. Miss Peach, for I now accept that I was guilty of leaping to conclusions because of your coincidental presence. I crave your forgiveness.”

  “And I crave yours, sir, for I have said some monstrous things as well.”

  “Then we will begin again, mm?” He smiled.

  She flushed, and fidgeted with her reticule. How pleasant it was to converse with him like this. And how much he improved when he smiled.

  “Have you been to Bath before. Miss Peach?” he asked.

  “Yes, occasionally. I’m actually from London, and have only lived in the country for about eighteen months.”

  “I don’t recollect ever encountering you in London.”

  She smiled a little ruefully. “Perhaps because I didn’t move in your exalted circles. Sir Dominic. My father was the banker, Mr. Septimus Peach, and I fear he wished to save me from wicked aristocrats.”

  Dominic’s eyes lightened. “So you’re that Miss Peach! As it happens, your father was my banker, and I’m pleased to say that my title did not prevent us from enjoying an excellent association. I was deeply saddened to hear of his demise. And his wife’s, of course. I... I mean, your mother...”

  Polly bit her lip in an effort not to cry.

  Dominic shifted uncomfortably. Er…what possessed you to live out in the wild sticks of Somerset?”

  “I am my uncle’s ward, and he decreed I must live with him. I’m obliged to obey him until I’m twenty-three, when according to my parents’ will, I can set up a household of my own, provided I find a suitable lady companion to keep watch over me. I’m only twenty now, so there is some time to go.”

  “But at twenty-three you’ll secure the necessary companion and flee back to the delights of the capital?”

  “Unless I have been dragged in manacles to the altar before then,” she said with feeling.

  Dominic was increasingly intrigued. “Am I to understand your uncle has put forward a bridegroom for whom you do not care?”

  “Yes. Lord Benjamin Beddem, for whose temporary absence in London I am duly grateful.”

  Dominic had to smother a smile. “Lady Georgiana’s brother, eh?” he murmured a little mischievously.

  Polly stared at him. “Are you jesting?”

  “I fear not.”

  “That shallow, designing creature is a Beddem?” Georgiana as a sister-in-law was almost as unpalatable a prospect as Lord Benjamin as a husband!

  “Please do not criticize her, Miss Peach.”

  She searched his face, inexplicably hurt to realize how deep his affections for Lady Georgiana went. “But how can you possibly like her, Sir Dominic?” she asked a trifle too candidly. “She’s quite the most blatant schemer I’ve encountered! Everything she does is with an eye to her own personal advancement.”

  “I would prefer not to hear any more of your opinion, Miss Peach,” he said warningly.

  Polly looked quickly out of the window. He was right to reprimand her, for she really didn’t know Lady Georgiana well enough to presume to speak out. But that didn’t mean she was wrong about the lady! Lord Benjamin’s sister had a character that was odious in the extreme, and her clearly indicated ambitions showed her to be little more than a highborn adventuress!

  After a moment Dominic resumed the conversation as if Georgiana had never been mentioned. “You and Lord Benjamin, eh? A marriage truly made in heaven.”

  “I’m glad you think so,” she replied, more than a little miffed that he should find it amusing.

  “Forgive me, it’s just that Beddem’s search for a fortune is very well known in society, and if he snaps you up, he’ll undoubtedly solve his problems, but at the same time he’ll acquire a far from meek wife.”

  She looked crossly at him. “Is that all you can say of me? That I’ll be a far from meek wife?”

  He studied her. “No, I can also say that you have a sharp tongue, to say nothing of a hot temper and inclination to mulishness. On the brighter side, I have to admit that you are also refreshingly spirited, and very pretty indeed.”

  He was twitting her, and she knew it, but she couldn’t help being needled by his criticism. “Now let us consider you, Sir Dominic. When I look at you, I see someone who possesses a sharp tongue and hot temper to match mine, who considers himself of better breeding than almost everyone except the royal family—probably of them as well, come to think of it—and who flatters himself that he is one of the most stylish men of his generation. On the brighter side, I think you are very handsome, and can probably be exceedingly charming when you choose.”

  He smiled. “Remind me never to repeat the mistake of seeming to criticize you, Miss Peach. Tell me, will you be attending any of the other social occasions arranged for the period of the Duke and Duchess of York’s stay in Bath? The Halloween festivities at Sydney Gardens Vauxhall, for instance?”

  “My uncle and Lord Benjamin will be attending, but I will not.” I hope I will have left Bath by then!

  “At least you must be attending the ball tomorrow night?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I trust you will reserve a measure for me?”

  The request took her by surprise. “You are prepared to risk partnering me? Are you not afraid my reticule will come to life and strike you? Or that my wrist favor may untie itself and fix prettily in your hair?”

  He laughed. “I am more than prepared for such possible hazards.”

  “Then I will gladly reserve a measure for you.”


  “A ländler would be most agreeable.”

  “If that is what you wish, then of course.”

  He changed the subject. “What do you think really happened with your parasol? We know that neither of us committed the crime, so who did?”

  “I’ve already said I don’t know,” she replied uncomfortably.

  “Yes, you do know, Miss Peach. It’s written all over you,” he said quietly.

  “I assure you you’re wrong,” she replied, meeting his eyes squarely. She wasn’t about to confess to knowing a brownie! If she did, he’d revise his opinion concerning her sanity.

  Another heavy silence fell. By now the carnage had almost reached Bath, and in the crowded streets it was possible to detect the riotous passage of the runaway horses. Sedan chairs had been abandoned by their carriers, sometimes with unfortunate passengers still inside; the display outside a fishmonger’s shop had been knocked over, and carriages and carts had been damaged against the high pavements as they tried to avoid the oncoming stampede.

  Polly gazed at it all with renewed dismay. Bodkin had certainly given vent to his fury today, for he’d left a trail of devastation wherever he went. Oh, how she prayed his need for sweet comfort would take him to Zuder’s skylight tonight, so that he’d see her note. Surely then he’d give her a chance to explain both her innocence and that of Uncle Hordwell? It wouldn’t help him to find Nutmeg again, but at least he’d stop being angry, and might come home, where he belonged.

  While she was pondering this hope, Bodkin and his equine team had just arrived on the sloping common in front of Royal Crescent, where the horses lost interest in flight and halted to graze. Gratified to have caused such a huge amount of trouble at the review, the brownie jumped down, then hastened up toward Dominic’s house, at the door of which Ragwort was beckoning excitedly.