Man Handler (Man Cave - A Standalone Collection Book 3)

by Shari J. Ryan

  “We’ll discuss that title of yours a little later, okay?”

  “You won’t complain when the conversation … comes … back up,” I whisper.

  Epilogue

  Austin

  TWO AND A HALF YEARS LATER

  The sun is peeking through the blinds and I’m still in bed. Something must be up. I open one eye and look around, finding Scarlett asleep beside me. “What time is it?” I ask.

  Scarlett’s eyes pop open. “Shit!”

  “Why didn’t the alarms go off?”

  “I don’t know,” she says, jumping out of bed. She shrieks the second her feet hit the ground and she falls over. “Luke!”

  I roll out of bed and walk around to Scarlett’s side, finding Luke reprogramming both of our phones. “Phone,” he says, laughing.

  “Buddy, how did you get out of your crib?” I ask him.

  “Climbed,” he says, matter-of-factly.

  “I told you he needed to be put in a big-boy bed,” Scarlett says, lifting him up.

  “Yeah, I didn’t think giving our son the run of the house was the best idea in the world,” I say, imagining the worst.

  “We’ll figure it out later. We’re late.”

  I’m already half dressed as Scarlett’s still talking about being late. “I’ll go make sure the chef is here. Breakfast is in twenty minutes. My God, he better be here.” I grab Luke, trying to figure out where he’s going to go since he’s supposed to be with his grandmother right now, but here he is, looking at me like he’s not letting go anytime soon.

  “Luke, where is Grammy?” Scarlett is looking at Luke as if he’s supposed to give her an explanation of where his grandmother is, but he looks at her like she’s crazy. He gets that look from me. At two, he speaks better than I ever thought a two-year-old was capable of, but he can turn it on and off like a light switch. “Luke Trace, tell Mommy where Grammy is.”

  “Grampy,” he says.

  “Oh God,” I say and run down the hall, knocking on the door at the end of the hall “Jack?”

  No answer. Seriously? Come on. This is not part of the deal. I open the door and God dammit, I wish I hadn’t. “Guys, come on.” I close my eyes and cover Luke’s.

  “Hey,” Jack yells. “Get out.”

  “No, Grammy is supposed to be watching Luke. I have to get downstairs.”

  “Lukey, come to Grampy,” Jack coos.

  “Um no. Put clothes on.”

  “Fine. I’ll come down and get him in a few minutes.”

  I insisted on turning my house into a bed and breakfast because of all the extra unused space. Plus, when I mentioned the idea to Scarlett, I swear I saw stars in her eyes. She said it had always been her dream to run her own business. That’s all I needed to hear, and I immediately set about making it happen. It took a good year to get the place up and running, as well as transformed into a B&B, but now it runs like a tight ship and it’s perfect, except for the whole childcare issue. We had to hire a nanny when we first opened because we needed help with Luke while I’m working my shifts at the hospital. Scarlett’s mom made it clear that there was no way someone else was going to be taking care of her grandchild while she lived so close by. We had no choice but to agree. However, while I’m sure Scarlett had her years of annoying behavior and irresponsibility, her mama is busy living out her twenties while in her fifties, and that sometimes makes things a bit challenging for us. Thankfully, the staff and guests all love Luke, his white-blond curls, and big blue eyes. Not to mention, he’s got Scarlett’s mouth, so he’s just extra cute because of it.

  I head downstairs, confirming the chef is already at work in the kitchen, then I set everything out at the computer to handle today’s records for Scarlett so she can just get moving when she comes downstairs. The number of times we are late to our own lives has increased twofold since we became parents. I was never late before I met Scarlett, but now it’s like my way of life. “Mr. Luke,” I address my son, tossing him into the air, “You are a little troublemaker like your mama.”

  A fit of giggles erupts from Luke just as Scarlett jogs down the stairs. “I’m here. I’m here.”

  “I’ll take Luke and Waldo outside until your mom is dressed and ready to take over.”

  “You’re going to be late, though,” Scarlett says.

  I walk over to her and kiss her softly. “Give Mama a kiss,” I tell Luke. “She thinks being late is something new for us. She’s a silly girl.”

  “Silly Mama,” Luke babbles.

  I take Luke outside, letting Waldo follow at my heels. There’s a warm breeze, and I take a seat on the front steps, staring up into the clouds. I can only hope Pop would want me to have what he wanted for his life. He’d love Scarlett and Luke, but making this house into a bed and breakfast full of happy people coming and going would also make him happy. I know that.

  It’s the perfect endeavor for Scarlett, and kind of a memorial to remember Pop’s pride and daily happiness. I hope I’m half the man he was as I raise Luke with Scarlett.

  “Do you’all want breakfast?” Scarlett asks, poking her head out the door.

  I turn around and laugh. “No.”

  “What?”

  “It’s y’all.”

  “That’s what I said,” she argues.

  “Not it’s not,” I respond.

  “I reckon you’re being a big a—pie-hole, Mr. Austin.”

  “Heavens to Betsy, Scarlett. Watch your big ole’ mouth.”

  “Austin Trace, I will manhandle you if you keep talking back to me like that. Get your behind inside and eat something before you go to work.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” The door closes behind her, and I chuckle. She’s still trying to get the accent and local dialect down after three years, and it’s not working for her.

  “Luke, let me tell you something son. If your mama wants to think she can manhandle us, we’ll let her think she can, but just remember … we know the truth, son.”

  WANT MORE LAUGHS?

  Turn the page to check out the other standalone books in the MAN CAVE!

  Manservant Preview

  I just wanted an easy summer job…

  That didn’t happen. Now, I’m in a living nightmare as I work alongside this monster of a man with mesmerizing emerald eyes that look at me inappropriately every time I see him. To add insult to injury, he has a tan I just want to lick, and a butt worth drooling over every time he purposefully walks by me. But, he's an asshat, and looks are everything. I mean, aren't. LOOKS. ARE. NOT. EVERYTHING. Why do I have to keep reminding myself of this?

  His job is to clean, cook, and tend to the house we work in. That's why I call him the manservant. Oh, and because it drives him nuts. That's what he gets for torturing me.

  This is a story of little restraint, too much desire, questionable actions, no strength whatsoever, and the best sex I've ever had.

  The question is: Do I fall for this crude manservant whose idea of a fun time is to tie people up and do obscene things, or do I give him a taste of his own medicine?

  All I'm going to say is . . . Things get weird, twisted, then hot, then weird again, and—you get my drift.

  Go ahead and laugh. It might not be so funny if it happened to you. Click to Download.

  PROLOGUE

  ONE YEAR EARLIER

  One final exam left to go. Thank God. Then, I can forget about everything and spend the summer with my Andy. Our schedules haven’t allowed us to be together nearly enough this year, and I hope to make up for that over the break by spending most of our time in bed.

  Since I’m two years behind Andy, it's been hard watching him get scooped up into the real world while I'm still living on campus, but he's here every weekend, and we talk a lot. Just one year to go, and then we can get an apartment together and finally be on the same life page.

  “How did you do, girly?” Jade pops up behind me and wraps her arm around my neck as we make our way down the dorm hallway.

  “Not too bad, but I felt
like Professor Adams was staring at me the whole time I was taking my mass comm final. It was very distracting,” I tell her.

  She shrugs her shoulders. “He totally wants to get in your pants. It could boost your final grade.” She squeezes me and shrieks, “One more day in this hell hole, and it’s summer vacation."

  “That’s gross. He’s like sixty or seventy. Plus, that mole on his cheek has two hairs growing out of it, and the dried boogers he always has in his nose . . . how does he not know they’re there?”

  “Yeah, good point. Don’t let him near your pants. A better grade isn’t worth it for that,” Jade says. “Oh crap, before I forget, do you have that dress I lent you last week? Chip is taking me out for our sexiversary tonight.”

  I laugh at the way she accentuates the sex part of their anniversary. Jade and Chip celebrate every milestone, no matter how small, or how large it is. “Oooh la-la! Where are you going?” I ask, reaching into my back pocket for my room key.

  “Probably a burger joint, but I still like to look nice. Plus, I don’t care if we just sit outside, and do nothing. It’s Chip," she says breathlessly. "I have no problem gazing into his eyes all night. That’s normal, right?”

  “You have it so bad for him, Jade. Please shoot me if I ever end up like you,” I jest.

  “Oh pa-lease, you and Andy are totally heading down the same path. He like totally worships the ground you walk on, and the air you breathe—all that crapola.”

  “You think so?” I ask with a small smile, wondering whether I truly am following in Jade's footsteps. It's never been my thing to fall head over heels for someone the way Jade has, but Andy does have a particular charm to him. Plus, it's been a year, and we're in love, talking about future plans. So, maybe she is right. “He’s good to me. I think I lucked out there.”

  “See, you thought all hotties were assholes. I told you that wasn’t the case,” she reminds me.

  “I was wrong," I lament. "Feel better?”

  Jade pats herself on the back. “I do feel better, as a matter of fact. Thanks.”

  “Andy’s here packing up my stuff so we can take off right after my final tomorrow. He’ll be happy to see you,” I tell her.

  “Oh, I didn’t know he was here,” Jade chirps. “Let me at the tough guy. He needs a Jade hug.”

  “Maybe I should warn him first.” I laugh with a raised brow because it takes a certain type of person to handle Jade's eccentricity. “Take a deep breath first and calm down, so you don't startle him.” Andy calls her Crazy Jade, but I've kept that to myself.

  I unlock my dorm room door and push it open. “Andy, look who’s here to see you,” I announce while pulling my key out of the lock.

  As I turn toward my side of the room, my heart does that thing where it beats twice at one time instead of beating at its normal rhythm, right before it sinks to the bottom of my stomach, and suddenly, I want to vomit.

  Andy is here, but he’s definitely not helping me pack. He’s in the middle of my three-hundred-dollar Pottery Barn comforter, butt naked, in the company of not one, but two naked girls. He has his face buried in one girl’s crotch, and his cock in the other. As I focus on the horrifying scene, I know it will be burned in my mind forever. It’s Lara and Kari from next door—with Andy—on my bed, on my comforter that cost me a whole month’s salary. There’s a naked ass on my pillow, and two sets of breasts furiously bouncing in the air. I feel totally disgusted and violated.

  Not one of them heard the door open, or my voice as I announced my entrance. They must be be having a really good time.

  Jade walks in beside me, and I shove the door closed, causing a loud thud. In response to the sound, body parts begin to fly and untangle as the three of them sit up, all with looks of utter shock. Are they actually surprised to be caught having sex on my bed? Did not one of them consider that I might get out of my exam a few minutes early and catch them? Oh my God, how long has this been going on?

  “I can explain,” Andy says.

  Explain? I take a few steps forward, feeling bewildered, hurt, and raging mad. “Explain what? How Lara’s crotch fell on top of your mouth, and your cock fell into Kari’s? Is that the story?” I’m not sure how I’m even holding myself together right now and forming understandable words, but I never expected to see a threesome—especially on my bed with my boyfriend and two friends from next door. “You’re such a fucking douche bag,” I yell. “And you two skanks . . . I thought we were friends. Kari, I held your ratty hair last week while you vomited in a bush on the quad. What the hell are you doing?”

  "Oh man, she's totally going to kill all of you," Jade mumbles to them as she twirls her hair around the back of her ear.

  “I’m so, so sorry, Julia,” Lara says.

  “Sorry? Out. Everyone out.” I feel the sobs creeping up my throat, so I grab what’s closest to me, which happens to be a keyboard. I tear it from the computer and throw it at them, missing all three.

  “Jules, you know you have a bad throwing arm. That’s not going to work,” Jade whispers in my ear.

  I take my phone out of my back pocket and snap a picture of the horrifying scene on my pretty comforter. “You’re right, Jade. It’s better to post this picture on Instagram later, so everyone knows how slutty these three are.”

  “Guys aren’t usually called sluts,” Jade whispers again.

  “Shh,” I tell her.

  “Please,” Lara begs. “I’m up for a scholarship next year for the community service projects I’ve done this semester. This will ruin my chances.”

  I laugh. “Fuck you.”

  “Babe, let’s talk this through,” Andy says, standing up from the bed in his full glory. He quickly moves across the room and grabs my arm, pulls me into him, and presses his lips to my forehead. “I love you. I was just—"

  "You were just testing out the skanks from next door instead of helping me pack?"

  "Well—"

  “Get the hell off me,” I seethe, trying to push him away. His grip is tight, and it’s pissing me off even more than I already am.

  As I try to squirm away, he tightens his hold. “Please, Julia.”

  Fine. So be it. I knee the asshole so hard in his exposed balls that he flops to the ground like a jellyfish, moaning in pain. “Don’t worry; your little pecker problem never did much for me anyway.” I snap one more picture to make one of those cute collages, then take Jade by the arm to leave. “I told you all hot guys were assholes,” I remind her as we walk out the door.

  “Only the hot guys you seem to find, sweetie.”

  “Fuck all hot guys. No, wait. I will never fuck another one again.”

  "You just handled that so well. I could never do what you just did," Jade tells me.

  I learned long ago that it's either tears or anger—weakness or strength. I've been gutted before, and I know anger is the best way to deal with the pain draining from the core of my heart. "Don't be fooled to think I'm okay," I tell her. "I don't ever want to date again. I’m swearing off all guys, especially hot guys.”

  “Oh—uh, okay well, let’s just get out of here for a few minutes, so you don’t say anything else you’re going to regret,” Jade says, trying to pacify me at this life-altering moment.

  "It's true, Jade. I will never make this mistake again.” Three men, all too into themselves to care even just a little bit about someone else—me. Andy, though, he's the icing on the cake made of douchebags, and this heartache I'm about to go through will be enough to last me a lifetime. Click to Download.

  Man Flu preview

  I was trying to live every woman's dream, except my reality has been nothing but a nightmare job and a divorce at the age of thirty-two. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, my ex-husband, Rick, moved in next door with his life-size Barbie doll. So, that's been fun.

  Then, life pitched me a curve-ball in the form of a retired major-league baseball player, Logan Grier. With his panty-dropping smile, he’s like an expertly photoshopped version of
David Beckham, and he's single. Could life be perfect after all? Of course not. As always, there had to be a catch. Logan had a secret, and I couldn’t help feeling like the truth was dangling right in front of my face.

  With Rick’s daily agenda of torturing me, Logan has been an enticing distraction, despite the little fact that he’s my temporary employee. Plus, I didn’t exactly care that his flirty behavior may have been a plan to get in good with the boss. In any case, I was willing to toss a few balls with him, seeing as my playing field hadn’t had any action in over a year.

  That’s when it happened…my two worlds collided. Hot temp met the ex, and a full-on bromance was born, but that’s only the beginning.

  The “man flu” has come out of nowhere and hit both Logan and Rick with a virus they’re claiming to be worse than childbirth. In fact, they’re pretty sure their end is near.

  Will the “man flu” be the kiss of death, or will it be my window for an opportunistic change? Click to download.

  Prologue

  ONE YEAR AGO

  “I now pronounce you officially divorced,” I say while staring at the bathroom mirror. “You may kiss your reflection, since that’s the only person you know you can trust, and live happily ever after with.” That’s all I have for a self-help pep talk on this lovely occasion today. No one else knows about the divorce, so I can’t even go celebrate or anything. Time to buy a new vibrator, I guess.

  In any case, I’ve kept this to myself because if anyone were to ask Rick about the split, he’d inform them I was 50 percent at fault because I wasn’t as horny as the twenty-five-year-old he found on Tinder. When I start sharing the news with mutual friends or our extended families, Rick’s story will come out, and I don’t want anyone to know how often I avoided sex with my sleazeball husband. He thought his porn addiction should be a turn on, but it wasn’t my thing. The different scents of perfumes he would come home smelling like didn’t help either. I had no idea who else he was sleeping with, but I assumed it was a common occurrence.