My Girlfriend's a Geek, Volume 1

by Pentabu

  bookmarks, invitations out to movies, glasses without lenses, and suits,

  but does executing these things properly guarantee that you can successfully woo a fujoshi?

  Unfortunately, I cannot give you a nice and easy nod of the head in response to this.

  To be perfectly honest, I think that Y-ko is a special case, and isn’t useful for comparisons.

  ME: Y-ko, I’m getting more questions about how to seduce a fujoshi…

  Y-KO: What? Put bookmarks in your book, wear a suit and glasses, and ask her to a movie!

  ME: That’s a very random suggestion…

  Y-KO: Look, different people will have different moe points, all right?

  Just because you know what makes me tick doesn’t mean it’ll necessarily work on other

  fujoshi!

  ME: That is a good point… But that still leaves the question…

  Y-KO: Why not teach them tactics to get women in general,

  not just how to get me in particular?

  ME: I see.

  Y-KO: By the way, what do you do when you try to get with a girl?

  ME: Go on the attack. Simple as that.

  Y-KO: Of course, the seme approach. You nasty sadist!

  ME: That’s not what I meant!

  Y-KO: Don’t try this at home, kids!

  ME: Who are you talking to?!

  Y-KO: We match up well since I’m a masochist at heart,

  but more normal people might be freaked out, so take care with this!

  ME: Seriously, who are you talking to? More importantly,

  you know you’re a complete and total sadist, woman!

  ………

  In conclusion…

  don’t use this blog for romantic advice.

  Notes/Glossary

  Ainori A long-running reality show in which a group of young men and women ride around the world in a pink van called the Love Wagon. The goal of the show is to eventually fall in love with one of the other members. If the love is requited, the couple return to Japan.

  Amuro Amuro Ray, the hero of the original Mobile Suit Gundam.

  AT field A special protective barrier that appears in the sci-fi anime/manga Neon Genesis Evangelion.

  BL “Boy’s Love.” A recent term synonymous with yaoi whose usage has largely replaced the other within Japan. Unlike yaoi, which could refer strictly to self-published manga parodies (djinshi), placing heterosexual characters from established stories in homosexual relationships, BL is considered more of a catchall term encompassing original and commercial works as well.

  bloomers The Japanese term for girls’ gym shorts, which are quite small, often not much larger than panties themselves. Because of their ever-present use within schools, bloomers are strongly associated with young teen or preteen girls, making them fetish items for some men.

  burusera The business of selling used girls’ panties. The word is an abbreviation of the terms bloomers and sailor (as in the sailor uniforms that Japanese high school girls wear).

  Comiket The largest convention for buying and selling djinshi in Japan, held once in the summer and once in the winter.

  Death Note A megahit manga series that was published in Weekly Shnen Jump. The story of an otherworldly notebook that would kill the person whose name was written on its pages, it also spawned an anime series and live-action film.

  Densha Otoko “Train Man.” A sensationally popular media franchise based on actual Japanese message board posts, in which a lonely otaku salesman sticks up for a pretty, non-otaku woman on the train. Later, with the helpful advice of others posting on the message board, he manages to “get the girl,” despite his geeky interests.

  djinshi Self-published manga (or sometimes prose) that are widely bought and sold at conventions such as Comiket. Most djinshi are sexual in nature, and most are parodies based on existing series, though exceptions to both of these categories exist.

  Dragon Quest The most popular and long-running role-playing game series in Japan. The release of a new title in the series causes such a rush of activity and absences from work or school nationwide that the government has pressured the game’s makers to release them during holidays.

  Dwango A Japanese IT and entertainment company known for its TV commercials utilizing Internet memes.

  eroge A Japanese abbreviation for “erotic game,” referring to computer games with erotic content. These usually take the form of adventure games with still illustrations for graphics and simple text dialogue, but some can have quite elaborate and literary stories. Some of the most popular eroge have been adapted for consoles like the PlayStation and even made into anime series (usually with the explicit sexual content removed).

  fujoshi A self-deprecating term referring to female fans of yaoi (or BL). The word is a homophone of the Japanese word for “respectable lady,” but the character for “woman” is replaced with the character for “rotten,” thus forming a word that means “rotten girl.” This refers to the supposedly “rotten” thoughts and fantasies that fujoshi have about characters or people in gay relationships, which would not normally occur. In recent years, the term’s definition has been loosened slightly to sometimes include female otaku without a strong predilection for BL. For example, some real-life self-identified fujoshi may claim that despite her fujoshi labeling, Y-ko shares more characteristics with regular female otaku than fujoshi.

  futanari A term for hermaphrodite characters in anime or manga.

  gakuran A heavy, high-collared school uniform for boys. It consists of a distinctive single-color buttoned jacket worn with straight-cut pants of the same color. Because Japanese summers are so hot and muggy, most schools have a “uniform-changing period” during which the gakuran is traded out for a more comfortable dress shirt and slacks outfit.

  Giants The Tokyo Yomiuri Giants baseball club. By far the most popular and successful professional baseball team in Japan, they are the domestic equivalent of the New York Yankees.

  Hagaren The abbreviation of Hagane no Renkinjutsushi, the Japanese title of Fullmetal Alchemist.

  harem An adjective describing a manga or anime series in which one male character attempts to balance the advances of several different girls.

  host club A type of bar in which women pay not only for drinks but also for the attention and conversation of attractive “host” employees. Similarly, a “hostess club” offers men the chance to speak with hostesses over drinks.

  Ikebukuro West Gate Park A hit live-action drama series about gangs of youth delinquents in West Gate Park within the Tokyo neighborhood of Ikebukuro. The leader of one such gang, Takashi, is known as the “king” of the park.

  Kansai The area of western Japan encompassing the cities of Osaka, Kyoto, and Kobe. Because of its historical and economic significance, this area features the most prominent regional culture (dialect, food, attitude) in Japan, outside of Tokyo itself. One of the biggest exports of the Kansai area is its two-man comedy style, manzai, which consists of a goofball who makes silly statements and a straight man who yells at him.

  moe A slang word that describes a particular emotion (pronounced “mo-eh,” not like the Stooge). In its original slang usage, the word moe describes a character or characteristic that elicits a desire to cherish or protect. For that reason, traditional moe characters are often cute, young, or fragile. In wider usage, the term simply refers to things or characters that produce arousal or excitement; in other words, what turns you on. Most uses of the word moe within this book are of the latter definition.

  nekomimi Cat ears. A fairly commonplace fetish within anime fandom.

  Ninzaburo Furuhata A popular, long-running police detective drama series about the eccentric titular character and his bumbling sidekick.

  “Once again…” The catchphrase of the samurai character Goemon Ishikawa XIII, from Lupin III. He quotes this line every time he performs a superhuman feat with his sword, such as cutting a helicopter in half.

  otaku An obsessive fan of anime
and manga. The term can be affixed to any subject in which a person shows a powerful, geeky interest, such as cosplay, computers, trains, cooking, etc. On its own, however, otaku generally refers to members of anime and manga fandom or culture.

  Patrasche The name of the dog in the novel A Dog of Flanders, which was made into a popular anime series in the 1970s.

  Princess Mononoke An anime film directed by Hayao Miyazaki. It depicts the struggle of man against the environment using the backdrop of medieval Japan.

  Satomi Hakkenden An epic novel written in the nineteenth century about eight samurai brothers. It has been adapted into different media a great number of times. The TV show edition mentioned in this text was a two-part special production created in 2006 for TV Tokyo’s fiftieth anniversary.

  Sebastian A popular, stereotypical name for butler characters in anime or manga. The trend largely stems from the butler character Sebastian in the classic 1970s anime series, Heidi, Girl of the Alps.

  seme The “attacker,” or dominant member of a homosexual relationship in BL.

  Shinsengumi A special police force in the late shogunate era, created to protect the shogun from forces loyal to the emperor seeking to overthrow the shogun system. Due to their unusual and prominent position, many chief officers of the Shinsengumi, such as Hajime Saito and Toshizo Hijikata, became notable historical figures, and fictional stories directly about or featuring members of the Shinsengumi have been made in a variety of media. The Shinsengumi show mentioned in the text was a special epilogue that aired over the New Year’s break in 2006 to a yearlong drama series from 2004.

  Shota A character archetype within anime and manga (particularly erotic publications) that refers to young, boyish types. Its usage is analogous to the female Lolita complex.

  Six Codes The six main legal codes that make up Japanese law. They are the Civil Code, the Commercial Code, the Criminal Code, the Constitution of Japan, the Code of Criminal Procedure, and the Code of Civil Procedure.

  Tansu Ni Gon A brand of insecticide, similar to mothballs, meant to be placed in closets or dressers (tansu means “dresser”) to keep away bugs that might eat away at clothes in storage.

  Tigers The Hanshin Tigers baseball club based in the Kansai area. With their rabid following, relatively lean accomplishments and über-successful rival (the Giants), the Tigers are the Japanese equivalent of the Boston Red Sox.

  tsundere A character archetype referring to people who are normally cold or hostile, but who become markedly warmer or loving in intimate settings. The word is a combination of the adjectives tsun-tsun (aloof or combative) and dere-dere (love struck).

  uke The “receiver,” or submissive member of a homosexual relationship in BL.

  yaoi Media focusing around male-male homosexual relationships for a largely female audience. Within yaoi, the two members of a partnership are referred to as “seme” (attacker) and “uke” (receiver). When characters from an existing story are placed into a piece of yaoi as a romantic pairing, the pairing is labeled with the characters’ names separated by a multiplication sign; e.g., Roy × Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist.

  Y-ko A popular and slightly jokey method of providing a slight degree of privacy is to replace the bulk of one’s name with the initial in the English alphabet, leaving only the last character in place. In this case, “Y-ko” could be a replacement for women’s names like Yuko, Yoko, Yaeko, etc. The method is seen often in Japanese because many names—both given and family—end with one of a small number of characters, such as -ko for women or -ta/-da for surnames.

  Yon-sama The Japanese nickname for Korean actor Bae Yong Joon, who starred in the megahit TV series Winter Sonata. His character, who was handsome, bespectacled and always grinning benignly, was a huge hit with Japanese women, in particular middle-aged housewives.

  Contents

  WELCOME

  EPIGRAPH

  INTRODUCTION

  GREETINGS. 2005/11/08 22:14

  ABOUT ME. 2005/11/08 22:28

  MY GIRLFRIEND. 2005/11/10 15:35

  FUJOSHI @ MAID CAFÉ. 2005/11/11 02:23

  FUJOSHI-ISH LINES. 2005/11/12 01:00

  EROGE. 2005/11/15 17:56

  EROGE 2. 2005/11/17 22:25

  THE DAY THE FUJOSHI WAS LET OUT OF THE BAG. 2005/11/19 00:09

  REGIONAL DIALECTS ARE THE NEW BIG THING. 2005/11/21 09:37

  FUSHIGI YÛGI. 2005/11/23 03:21

  DRUNKEN OTAKU, FUJOSHI Y-KO. 2005/11/25 16:37

  TWELVE KINGDOMS. 2005/11/27 15:44

  BUTLER CAFÉ. 2005/11/29 02:31

  BL MAIDENS. 2005/12/03 23:26

  OTOME ROAD ~Episode I~ 2005/12/05 10:41

  FUJOSHI DIAGNOSIS. 2005/12/06 22:23

  BIG NEWS. 2005/12/09 01:23

  HOST CLUB. 2005/12/10 00:01

  OTOME ROAD ~EPISODE II~ 2005/12/13 00:12

  DREAM COLLABORATION. 2005/12/14 21:51

  CHRISTMAS. 2005/12/16 19:54

  COSPLAY. 2005/12/23 00:02

  MERRY NEKO-MIMI NURSE! 2005/12/26 16:52

  MERRY NEKO-MIMI NURSE 2. 2005/12/26 20:36

  ME, MY GIRLFRIEND, AND TWO FUJOSHI. 2005/12/30 09:36

  2006. 2006/01/01 10:40

  IDENTICAL VOICE. 2006/01/04 22:52

  HOME VISIT ~ACT I~ 2006/01/06 15:57

  HOME VISIT ~ACT II~ 2006/01/08 16:51

  HOME VISIT ~ACT III~ 2006/01/10 20:33

  HOME VISIT ~EPILOGUE~ 2006/01/12 19:04

  SHE BOUGHT ONE… 2006/02/21 19:35

  WELCOME HOME, MASTER. 2006/03/14 21:09

  SIMPLE IS BEST. 2006/03/19 20:15

  PRANKS. 2006/03/21 17:14

  TRIVIAL BATTLES. 2006/03/27 15:57

  TRIVIAL BATTLES 2. 2006/04/02 21:52

  CHEATING. 2006/04/09 21:23

  EVANGELION. 2006/04/16 18:51

  I’M INFLUENCED. 2006/04/20 22:59

  WATCHING EVANGELION. 2006/04/27 11:52

  DON’T MAKE ME TAKE OFF YOUR HIGH SCHOOL UNIFORM. 2006/05/04 12:14

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SCHOOL UNIFORMS? 2006/05/11 21:28

  WITH IT ON. 2006/05/19 22:42

  LOOKING BACK… 2006/09/04 22:42

  AND THUS, MY EVERYDAY LIFE… 2006/10/01 23:01

  EPILOGUE CONVERSATION

  WHAT CAN I DO TO GO OUT WITH A FUJOSHI?

  CONCLUSION

  NOTES/GLOSSARY

  COPYRIGHT

  Copyright

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  MY GIRLFRIEND’S A GEEK Volume 1

  PENTABU

  Translation: Stephen Paul

  My Girlfriend’s a Geek Vol. 1 © 2007 PENTABU. All Rights reserved.

  First published in Japan in 2007 by ENTERBRAIN, INC., Tokyo. English translation rights arranged with ENTERBRAIN, INC. through Tuttle-Mori Agency, Inc., Tokyo.

  English translation © 2010 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  Yen Press

  Hachette Book Group

  237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

  www.hachettebookgroup.com

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  First e-book edition: April 2012

  Yen Press is an imprint of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Yen Press name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

  ISBN 978-0-316-22180-1

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  Pentabu, My Girlfriend's a Geek, Volume 1