“Right now, I think you’re the only person who will protect her more than me. But if you go to her now, not only will she not want to see you but Michael will put two and two together and come up with fuck knows. Like I said earlier, we keep our eyes open and if you can manage to keep them off Alannah majority of the fuckin’ time you might see what the bigger picture is?”
I didn’t like being told I couldn’t see her, but it isn’t the same as before, as much as I would love Alannah to be my world, I still had responsibilities to the club, until we figured out what was going on I would have to go along with Sparky.
“Call her, make sure she is okay, if I can’t see her tonight, I’m seein’ her tomorrow.” I warned him.
“Fine, but I’ll come with you, it won’t look suspicious that way, plus she needs to be told about Micky, she loved the old fucker, she might not want you near her when she finds out.”
“I’m surprised she didn’t hear about him tonight.” I said.
“Looks like she had other things on her mind.” he said, raising his eyebrow.
He was right, for some reason none of the old timers had any children so when Alannah was born they all became surrogate fathers’ to her, especially after her old man died, they all adopted her and loved her like their own. This was going to hit her hard and not being at the club would be harder for her to deal with. Having Sparky there was the right thing to do, one day I will be the one to console her and no other fucker.
“Fine, but brother, when all this shit is sorted I’ll take care of her, she will be mine. She’ll be on the back of my bike and no one else’s.”
He stood up and walked to the door, he turned and nodded, I thought he would leave without saying another word.
“I knew that was your plan, just a heads up, if she’s on the back of your bike and you hurt her again, I’ll beat you into the ground with your own bike.”
He took another couple of steps before stopping again, “Meet me here at noon tomorrow and we’ll go see your girl.”
He finally walked away, I couldn’t help the small smile playing on my lips, his words were his blessing, not that she has agreed to be my girl, yet, but she will. One brother down, the rest of the club to go.
Chapter Four
Alannah…
I was angry, so fucking angry. I got no sleep last night, I tossed and turned till the sun came up. All the crap he alleged about the other night meaning something was ludicrous. ‘It matters to me, you matter to me’ I mimicked his words, I believe he believed it at the time and like a total sap I wanted to believe him to mean his words. Never have I been under any illusions what the men at the club are like especially Cas with his hot body and vice president status, but growing up around the clubhouse I saw everything, the way the men worked and the way the men played and some of them, not all of them but majority of them when they fell for their women they fell hard, and the big bad-ass biker turned to mush. I saw the way they looked at her like she was the only woman in the world. Times have changed and in this day and age women across the world don’t need to feel like they have to depend on a man, and while I don’t want to depend on anyone, I do want someone to look at me like I’m the only one they can see, like the fairy tales my Aunt Kitty used to read to me when I was little, although I never imagined a prince riding in on his horse, it was always a biker on his Harley. My own saviour dressed in leather, he was always a Lost Souls member, never a doubt about his loyalty to my family’s club or to me. Last summer I thought that was Cas, even a couple of nights ago when I succumbed to him, I wanted to believe he meant it when he said I mattered to him. He said last night wasn’t what it looked like but all I could see was him fucking her over the bar.
No, I’m not going to mope around after him, choosing to laugh rather than cry I got my ass out of bed, I had things to do around the cabin and life is not going to pass me by while his high and mighty sexiness turns up and leaves whenever he bloody hell feels like it!
Walking downstairs I heard my phone beeping, alerting me I had a message, for a brief moment I thought it might be Cas, then I remembered he didn’t have my number. Stop thinking of him!
I found my phone and Billy in the kitchen, he had already made a start on the painting. The previous shade of dark red was still showing through the light cream paint I had chosen but you could see what the finished outcome would be like and I loved it. It makes the kitchen seem so much bigger and definitely much brighter.
‘Sucks to be home!’
Bonnie! She was my best friend from college. She never said much about her home life when I asked, but I got the impression it wasn’t a nice one, a couple of times she would return after school breaks limping or trying to hide suspicious bruises on her body, and always had an excuse for them.
‘I’m stuck at my Uncle’s cabin, come and visit!’
I text back knowing she would refuse.
‘Cant right now. Soz. I’ll come see you soon’
She replied instantly, I worried I would never see her again once we were finished with college, just because I grew up in a biker club doesn’t mean I know anything but love from my family, if Bonnie’s home life is as bad as I feel it is then I would be there for her if only in text messages.
‘You better! Miss you’ I quickly sent.
“Miss you too. Got to go. Speak soon’
I threw the phone on the side not caring if any damage was caused, Bonnie is the sweetest girl I have ever met and doesn’t deserve anything bad in her life. I can’t help her though unless she asks me for it.
“Everythin’ okay?” Billy asked, refilling the paint tray.
“Okay as they can be I suppose.” I muttered, thankful for his presence.
Billy had kindly told me my decorating skills were atrocious, but knew how much I wanted to help so I was still trying to cover the red wall by the back door, which when open would hide all my hard work.
I was about to ask Billy why he wanted to become a member of the club, I never asked before but I know the original members set up the club purely for their love of bikes and connecting veteran backgrounds, it’s not that they didn’t have respect for others, they just didn’t want to be a part of society. They made their own world where they lived by their own rules, keeping away from mainstream society. The newer members craved the family they never had themselves and my uncle and father before him made that possible.
Just as the words were about to leave my mouth, Sparky came strolling into the kitchen followed by Cas. My excitement to see my friend was dampened when I saw who he was with.
“Hey Barbie, startin’ to look good in here.” he said, looking around the room.
“Thanks to Billy.” I smiled, he smiled back before being told to leave.
I scowled at the two men, he has become my friend and in my house and I hated the way they had power here over him too. I couldn’t say anything though because this is what Billy wants, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” I asked.
“We want to talk to you about a couple of things.” Sparky said, taking a seat at the table with Cas, who had already made himself comfortable. With them sitting opposite each other, the only chair available was in the middle of them. I inwardly sighed then realised it was a better position to turn my back to Cas from.
Whatever they wanted to talk about seemed important, neither of them wanted to speak first even though I was only looking at Sparky.
“Just spit it out Sparks.” I told him.
“Okay, do you have any thoughts as to why you been put here?” he asked, nodding around the room, he means the cabin.
I’ve been asking myself the same question since I got here and all I can think of is my uncle turned into a Grade A jerk while I was at college.
“Not really.” I lied, “You?” I asked, maybe they have found something out.
“We don’t have a fuckin’ clue but both of us feel somethin’ is goin’ on we’re not aware of.” he sa
id.
It’s basically what Cas said the other night, I realised I didn’t care anymore, I’m beginning to like it here, the last two times I have been to the club haven’t ended well for me.
“That’s why I was there last night, I wanted to see if I could find out anything, now, I don’t care, so if that’s all you came to talk about you’re wasting your time.” I told them both but only keeping my eyes in Sparky’s direction.
I saw the hurt cross Sparky’s face, it hurt me too but I was tired of trying to make it out to be more then what it probably was.
“If you’re here for a reason then it’s bigger than just your fuckin’ livin’ arrangements’, it goes into the club and secrets could blow us apart.”
I didn’t want to argue with him but I wasn’t going to sit here and talk about this either.
“Look, feel free to dig into whatever may or may not be there, while I get on with my life. If that’s all you came to say you should leave.” I spat.
I pushed the chair back and abruptly stood, folding my arms across my chest and nodding my head silently telling them to leave.
Neither of them moved a muscle to leave, I hated that I got so angry when Cas was around, Sparky could stay here all day and I wouldn’t mind, but with Sparky came Cas.
Choosing to ignore them both I walked away, I picked up the brush I had been using and began dipping it into the paint, if they wanted to stay and be ignored so be it.
When I heard movement behind me, I thought they were leaving, instead Sparky came and bent down on his knees beside me and took the brush away from me.
I looked sharply at him, his face wore a different expression, I didn’t think telling him to leave would hurt him this much.
“I need to tell you somethin’ else too.” he said, quietly.
“What?”
His brows knitted together and he frowned, throwing one quick look at Cas, he looked back to me and took a deep breath.
“Micky was found dead yesterday, tortured and left by the state line.”
No, he couldn’t be dead, to me he is…was invincible. One of the original members. Before he lost his wife Flo to cancer, he like Oak had a big part in my life, he was the one who worked on his bike and didn’t mind answering questions I had, and believe me I had many questions and he answered them all. Before he went nomad, he taught me to aim and shoot a gun, he said I couldn’t always rely on someone else to defend me and I had to learn for myself.
The tears didn’t come at first, I suppose it was the shock? When Sparky didn’t say anything, didn’t tell me he was joking, that’s when I began gasping for breath. The tears quickly followed and I was crushed into his arms, he did his best to soothe me and I let him. He had done some bad things in his life that I had heard of but he didn’t deserve this. I cried harder, unable to control the pain invading me.
“All I’ve been doing is moaning about being here, while he was out there somewhere being…” I sobbed.
“Shhh.” he cooed.
“I have to call Aunt Kitty, she’s going to need all the help she can get with the funeral.” I said, feeling a tad better with something to focus on.
A biker funeral is nothing to underestimate, members from all over will attend and they eat more than a population of a small country.
“No you don’t, he may not be havin’ a funeral.” he spoke softly, almost reluctantly.
“The hell he is!” I shouted, “What the fuck is wrong with you, he is…was your brother!”
I roughly wiped my eyes dry with my paint encrusted sleeve and glared at him.
“He may have turned rat Barbs’, you know how that ends.”
Oh I know how it ends, he will end up in an unmarked grave somewhere with no respect to his body or his soul.
No! I would not believe this.
“He would never go against the club and fuck you for thinking it is true.” I cried out, banging my fists on his chest.
“I don’t wanna believe it any-more than you but it ain’t lookin’ good.”
“I don’t believe it and I never will.” I whispered.
Still in his Sparky’s arms, I looked to Cas, his expression told me nothing of what he thought regarding Micky. When I saw pity for me cross his face I closed my eyes to him.
“What’s going on Sparks? This is all getting out of control.”
“I know, we’re gonna figure this shit out and then we’ll fuckin’ cry, okay?”
I nodded in agreement and pulled away from him, wiping my eyes once again.
His phone began ringing and he stood up to answer it. He was on the phone for no longer than thirty seconds, he hugged me one more time, his promises muffled as he kissed the top of my head.
He said good bye quickly to Cas and left alone. It brought it home, he could end up like Micky, walking out now and never return, I definitely couldn’t deal with that.
Tears burned my eyes again and I held onto the kitchen cabinet for support, Cas was immediately at my side, taking hold of me, I could easily let him support me the same as Sparky did but I’m not interested in his on and off attention.
I pushed out of his grip and went back to retrieve the paint brush, I continued painting hoping he would take the hint and leave.
No such luck, he came and sat up against the back door, a mere few feet away from me, the quick glance I gave him told me it was useless to argue, he wasn’t going anywhere.
I don’t know how long we sat there but I know I had painted the same section of wall three times.
“My Aunt was sick once when I had a spelling bee, when Micky heard she wouldn’t be able to go, he was the first one to turn up and sit centre row. His cheers when I got a spelling correct boomed throughout the school.” I laughed half-heartedly, remembering the good times.
“Did you win?” he asked, his voice cracking from being silent for so long.
“No, I got stuck on one word, one of the teachers saw Micky mouthing the spelling to me and disqualified me.” I laughed again, “Do you think he died a rat?” I asked.
I saw confusion pass over his face before he spoke so his answer didn’t surprise me.
“I honestly don’t know, it’s not what I wanna believe but like Sparky said, it ain’t lookin’ good babe.”
He sat forward and moved slightly towards me.
“I know this isn’t the time, but I need you to know what you saw last night wasn’t what you think it was, nothin’ happened and it wasn’t goin’ to either.”
There it is again, the sincerity in his voice, and etched onto his face. Out right staring at him, I want him, I want him so bad I ache but the last time I started to believe him he ended up with a whore on his lap and his hands everywhere on her.
I forced myself to look away from him and continued to paint the already covered patch on the wall.
“It’s your business who and what you do, just like it’s my business who and what I do.” I told him, surprised when he began laughing, not just a chuckle but a full on laugh.
“Glad I amuse you.” I muttered, not quite understanding why he found it so funny.
“Oh you amuse me all right, if you think anyone is comin’ near you apart from me then you are crazy woman, thought I’d made myself clear on that last night.”
His smile should have screamed possessiveness, but it didn’t, it was the same smile I only saw last summer when he was with me.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! I can’t deal with his smooth talking right now, but the small smile spreading across my face and the way I fidgeted trying to hide my need for him had given me away. He knew I was close, luckily I knew the ringtone that sounded in his pocket was alerting him he had club business on the way and he would have to go. I would be out of his charming-my-panties-off reach! He pulled me up with him and held me close. His eyes told me what I wanted to hear from his lips, I know he more than likes me, I just don’t know why he acts like he does when I’m not around.
I should push him away, with what he did to me I should no
t be hoping he’s going to kiss me. But, he does and I lean in closer not away.
It didn’t last as long as I would’ve liked.
“I have to go.”
Was all he said, no other words as he left the kitchen. I followed him out and called out before he got to the door.
“I don’t like playing games and I’m not into sharing.” I told him.
He turned around and walked back to me.
“Nor do I but at the moment it feels like we’re in one big fuckin’ game, I have to play and to prove to you I’m serious, I need to win.”
Why did he have to say things like that, the usual butterflies in the stomach and going weak at the knees were commencing and I wanted to hear more.
“What you did to me…”
“I know, I know what I done to you, one day you’ll see the game started a long time ago. I need you to forgive me because I need you and just so you know I don’t want to be shared, not when it comes to you.” he said, honestly.
This kiss lasted longer than the last, I don’t have a clue if he is playing me this time or not but he is making it harder for me to disbelieve him.
“One day soon I’ll tell you everythin’ and hopefully you will trust me again.”
Before I could say a word he was gone, the sound of his bike disappearing through the trees.
Cas
We had been over and over the details so many times we were going round in circles.
“Has it occurred to anyone we could be walking into a trap tomorrow.” Slade brought to the table.
It would be pretty fucking stupid of us not think of a trap, carving the word rat on a man’s forehead kind of implies they know our business and are going to show their faces in one way or another.
“Of course I have!” Michael bellowed, “But what choice do we have? Every time we try to take them out, we fuckin’ fail.”
I remained silent listening to them thrash it out. Slade had a point and we couldn’t dismiss it, Michael also had a point and we couldn’t dismiss that either.
I ran my hands through my hair and scrubbed my face from frustration.
Biker Bait: The Lost Souls MC Series Page 6
