Brothers & Sisters

by Brothers

  Michael drew a bracing breath as he listened to Marie’s voice speak his mother’s words.

  ‘You arrived on my doorstep on a Wednesday evening in September 1970 with another child. That child was an angelic little girl, from the farm across the way.’

  Michael looked up from his hands and watched Marie’s mouth as she formed the words. She continued reading, tears falling silently from her eyes.

  ‘She had a horrendous childhood and while I did my best to help out, there was only so much I could do. The child’s name was Rose and she was your fourteen-year-old mother. She was distraught and damaged and hurt beyond any reasoning and in a way, my small presence in her and her brother’s life must have meant something because it was me her brother brought her to when she needed someone. I was with her when she gave birth to you on my bed. She cried for you. You both cried. She was in so much danger, she had no choice but to leave you with me and to protect her and you, your father and I, promised never to speak of the circumstances again. She took the only option she had, which was to save you. I need you to know that what she did, she did for the love of you. She had a beautiful soul, you could see it in her eyes. Marie’s voice faded as she squeezed his large hand. His tears fell hard.

  ‘I have loved you all of your life and will continue to love you always. I will always be your mother and, in a way, so will she. I tell you now because it is yours to know. It doesn’t make you any less mine or me any less yours. I will forever be yours, as will all of us. I want you to follow your heart always as your heart is so strong. I love you son. Mother.’

  Marie gently folded the letter back into its creases and placed it carefully back inside the envelope. The heat emanating from Michael’s cheeks radiated the car. His large hand shook as he lifted a bottle of water and gulped. The silence was only broken by the ticking of the indicator. Inhaling deeply he began to speak.

  ‘She told you this?’

  ‘Nope.’ Marie took the water bottle from his hand and sipped, her mouth was dry. ‘But she spoke to me as though she had known I would read it.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Michael struggled to understand. It was something so life changing, he wondered how she had kept it all this time.

  ‘Because she asked me not to, because she trusted me not to.’ Marie had wanted to, so many times but stopped herself.

  ‘Marie,’ Michael rubbed his already red eyes as the water from his tears fell in lanes down his face, ‘you should have told me, sooner, I should have known, my mother should have told me, Jesus Christ, this is unbelievable.’

  ‘It’s Rose O’Reilly, Michael.’ Marie gasped as her sobs overtook her. ‘Was Rose Fitzpatrick. I’m nearly sure. With everything your mother has told me and the details of the house and the estate, it all makes sense now,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know this part,’ she said, ‘the part about Rose Fitzpatrick until this week, until the body was dug up and Timothy Fitzpatrick showed up.’

  ‘Holy fuck.’ Michael’s heart thumped out of his chest. There wasn’t enough air in the car. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘As sure as I can be, your mother talked about instilling a love in you for Fitzpatrick Farm and arranging with the owners so that you could afford it eventually. That’s why she was so supportive of you taking it over, so that you would feel connected in some way to it. It was deliberately made affordable to you so that you could inherit half of it without even knowing.’ They sat in silence, neither able to speak.

  ‘What am I supposed to do now?’ It was all too much to absorb. ‘Who else knows?’

  ‘Just you and me,’ Marie said. ‘And Rose and Timothy Fitzpatrick of course.’

  ‘And now she’s in a coma.’

  ‘She is,’ Marie said, accepting that she might have left it too late. ‘I’m so sorry, Michael, I should have told you sooner, I was going to do it tonight. After meeting Rose yesterday, I thought it was time, but I had no idea that she would have that awful accident. I’m so sorry, I wish I had told you sooner.’

  Michael shushed her, he knew it wasn’t her fault. ‘I can hardly swan in around the hospital bed looking for a long-lost-son reunion. Can I?’

  ‘I know, but if it’s as serious as Robert says it is, maybe you should just at least be close by, you know, just in case.’

  ‘Maybe,’ Michael said.

  Chapter 36

  Sunday Evening – 2016

  Rose lay flat in a white hospital gown. A hairband of staples arched from her left ear to her right, across her shaven crown. Her swollen head looked out of proportion with the small figure that barely made a dent in the mattress. Her complexion was ghosting white and her lips a grey blue. Lizzie sat in the chair beside her bed and Tim sat solemnly by her side.

  ‘She looks so bad,’ Lizzie whispered, as she rubbed her mother’s listless arm. ‘Do you think she is in pain?’

  ‘No, not a chance she is in pain, love, with all that sedative being poured into her,’ Tim said, as reassuringly as he could manage looking at the purring pumps as they hummed in the background. His sister’s frail body was shrivelling before his eyes. ‘Why don’t you stretch your legs, get some food into you?’ Lizzie didn’t answer, she couldn’t, so Tim continued. ‘It’ll be a long night, love, and we need to keep our energy up,’ he said, rubbing her folded hands that she had clenched like vice grips on her lap. He was worried, more worried than he had ever been before. Rose didn’t look as though she was fighting.

  ‘I won’t be long then.’ Reluctantly Lizzie agreed and slipped slowly out of the room, her face stricken with worry and her shoulders heavily slumped. She walked into the eerily quiet corridor and turned towards the grey plastic chairs at the far end and sat down, she hadn’t the patience to look for food nor the stomach to eat it. The busy vibe of the day had evaporated, leaving in its place, guarded whispers, pungent odours and muted lights. She jumped when her phone shrilled in the silence. She reached inside her bag and pulled it out.

  ‘Lucas, hi,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Lizzie.’ Lucas was relieved she had finally answered. ‘I’ve been trying you all day. Are you okay?’

  ‘Something’s happened to Mum.’ She hadn’t figured out how to articulate what had happened yet and the words she used to explain her situation stumbled out of her mouth. ‘In the hotel.’ A picture of her mother lying on the cold tiled floor flashed by her eyes and took her breath away. ‘She’s had an accident.’ It had seemed like a lifetime ago that they were in Kilkenny.

  ‘What sort of an accident?’ Lucas looked out of his airport hotel window. He had left Kilkenny, giving up any hope of seeing Lizzie and had already returned his hired car to Dublin airport.

  ‘Oh Lucas, it’s just awful.’ She began to cry as she spoke. ‘Mum fell, in the hotel,’ she explained. ‘She’s in a bad way. She was unconscious when we found her. She could have been there all night. We don’t know.’ She was sobbing.

  Lucas had picked up enough of her words to understand the gravity of the situation. ‘Where is she now?’ Lucas said, beginning to gather up his belongings. He always travelled light, so there wasn’t much to gather. He stuffed his things into his travel bag as he spoke.

  ‘She’s in her room, she’s just out of surgery.’ Sniffling, she wiped her nose and her eyes with her sleeve.

  ‘I mean what hospital?’ he said, trying to get as much information as he could.

  ‘Oh,’ Lizzie shook her head, she was aware that she didn’t sound coherent. ‘They flew her from Kilkenny up to Beaumont hospital here in Dublin, to do the neurosurgery.’

  ‘Okay, I know it’s a stupid question but how are you doing?’ He could tell from the mention of neurosurgery, air ambulance and the lack of clarity in her voice that the situation couldn’t be any more serious for Rose O’Reilly. He opened his laptop and googled the location of the hospital. Ten-minute drive, it said.

  ‘I’m okay.’ She barely managed to say the three syllables between sobs. She hadn’t the energy to remember how angry she was with
him, let alone that they had made an arrangement to meet that morning so that he could explain everything to her. ‘Listen,’ she noticed Robert looking for her at the other end of the corridor, ‘I’m going to have to go, I’ll call you later, okay?’

  ‘Lizzie?’

  ‘Yeah?’ She began to walk towards Robert, grabbing her bag as an afterthought.

  ‘I just wanted to say…’ He lost the nerve to say what was on his mind. Declaring his love for her in these circumstances would be all kinds of cheesy and he didn’t want the first time he told her he loved her to be anything but right. ‘Mind yourself, ring me later, okay?’

  She agreed and ended the call, pacing quickly towards Robert as he signalled her with his hand. ‘There’s a doctor inside at the bed, just to give a brief update,’ he said.

  ‘I had just left, for a second,’ she said exasperated and dashed back inside.

  ‘We will be keeping her sedated so when you are speaking to her if you could do so softly.’ The junior doctor smiled at Lizzie as she entered. ‘I was just saying, don’t encourage her to wake up with your words. We need her to stay as still as possible for a while longer. We don’t want her to get agitated.’ The doctor opened Rose’s file, shifting a white tub of lotion out of the way on the tray table and began to scribble. ‘The swelling is still quite pronounced in the brain so we had no option but to remove some of the skull to relieve the pressure.’

  ‘Is there any way of knowing how long she was unconscious for?’ Tim asked.

  ‘At this stage, no. We will be watching her closely and will keep you updated. I expect the entire team will want to have a proper family conference with you tomorrow, but for now, the first twenty-four hours are crucial.’

  Lizzie’s eyes glistened as she listened to the doctor speak. Flashes of the scene played in her head every time she closed her eyes, even if it was just to blink.

  ‘I’m on all night, so if you think of any questions, you can ask me the next time I come around.’ The doctor smiled. ‘I just want to do some tests, so if you wouldn’t mind, you can wait in the family room across the corridor, I’ll have the nurse ring the room when you can come back in.’

  Tim, reluctant to leave, led Lizzie and Robert to the waiting room. He had turned over and over in his head whether or not he should break his promise. He couldn’t decide what was for the best or who the best was for. Would Rose want to have her son with her after all these years or would she be happy to keep the promise she made? How would Lizzie feel, finding out that she had always had a brother that she had so dearly wanted when she was younger? And what would Michael say, to find out at forty-six years of age that the woman he thought was his mother wasn’t his mother after all? The weight of the problem began to tell on Tim’s face. Robert squeezed his hand letting Tim know that he was there.

  ‘Robert, we’d be lost without you.’ Tim placed his hand on Robert’s shoulder affectionately and extended his other arm around Lizzie’s shoulders. ‘You are a rock of strength.’

  It was heart-warming for Lizzie to be part of. ‘You are our rock, Robert,’ Lizzie agreed and reached her lips up to his cheek to kiss him.

  Robert, a man of few words, nodded in acknowledgement.

  ‘I think we need to plan our night.’ Tim took a seat at a table and Lizzie and Robert followed. The blinds were open but the night sky had grown dark outside. An aroma of percolating coffee wafted around the small room and Robert stood to pour them some. ‘The more quiet time the patients have, the better, or so the nurse says.’ Tim sipped the freshly brewed coffee in between speaking, it was time to breathe and fill his lungs with more than just gasps of air. ‘I don’t think they’ll let us all stay in the family room, its one person per patient,’ he added. ‘I think you could go home, Lizzie, get a few hours rest.’ He looked at Robert who weighed in on his plan willingly. ‘Robert could go with you,’ Tim said, ‘and then when you guys come back in, I’ll go home then.’

  Robert knew there was no way that Tim would leave the hospital without his sister but played along. The dimly lit waiting room provided cover for their puffy reddened eyes.

  ‘I don’t know, I don’t want to leave her,’ Lizzie said.

  ‘I’ll wait and see her when they let us back in and then I’ll think about it,’ Tim said.

  She nodded in agreement just before the door opened and Lucas walked in.

  ‘Lucas.’ Lizzie sat in shock. He was the last person she expected to see.

  ‘Lizzie, I’m sorry…’ He looked at Tim and Robert, both of whom he had identified in his surveillance at the funeral. ‘I’m sorry for barging in, I really am, I just wanted to check on you, see if you are doing okay.’ He stepped closer to their table, both Tim and Robert stood up, they figured by his English accent, who he was. ‘Sorry, I’m Lucas, Lizzie’s, eh, friend from London,’ he introduced himself and shook both their hands.

  ‘Nice of you to come over, for Lizzie,’ Robert said.

  ‘Lucas,’ Tim looked at Lizzie to gauge how he should react to him. He wasn’t sure that she was happy to see him. ‘Nice to meet you.’

  ‘I was at the airport when you called, Lizzie.’ He looked back to her, ‘So I just thought I’d call out and see you, if that’s okay?’ Lucas stepped closer to her and she stood to greet him.

  A wave of uncertainty washed over her as she remembered his reason for being in Ireland in the first place and gave in to an awkward hug.

  ‘I thought you had gone back?’ she said.

  ‘No, tomorrow,’ he said, throwing a sideways look at Tim and Robert. ‘I thought I might just see you, maybe take you downstairs for something to eat.’ He looked awkwardly at Robert. ‘That’s if it’s okay to leave?’

  ‘That’s a good idea,’ Tim said. He was suspicious as to how he had got to the hospital so quickly but was too distracted to ask him. ‘She hasn’t eaten all day. See if you can get her something in the cafeteria downstairs.’

  Lizzie threw Tim a disgruntled look. ‘I’m not five.’ She raised her eyebrows just enough to remind all three of them that she was quiet capable of making her own decisions; besides, she wasn’t hungry and if her uncle had known the real reason why Lucas was here, he sure as hell wouldn’t be encouraging him. But now wasn’t the time. ‘Okay, then, come on.’ She grabbed her phone from the table, irritated. ‘Ring me if we are allowed back in,’ she said, throwing her uncle daggers.

  ‘Lizzie.’ Lucas placed his hand on her hip as he walked beside her along the hospital corridor. She didn’t shirk it away. ‘Can I hold you?’ He didn’t wait for the answer and scooped her into his chest. ‘I don’t know what to say, Lizzie, I wish it wasn’t happening to you, to your mum,’ he murmured into her hair. ‘I’m such a fool, Lizzie, but believe me, I know it’s not the time, but I did what I did for a very good reason, I owed it to someone and maybe, when everything works out with your mum, you’ll let me explain it to you.’ He shook his head, he didn’t know how he was going to tell her what he knew, but he knew he had to. ‘I know you don’t feel like trusting me, but I’m begging you to trust me so that I can be with you.’

  She pulled away from his embrace and looked at him, it was his eyes that convinced her to give him a chance.

  He reached for her hands, it was then that he noticed Tim looking on.

  ‘Lucas,’ Tim coughed as he stood away from the closing family room door. He hadn’t intentionally followed them to overhear how this Lucas guy would treat his niece but he was glad he had. ‘I just came out to tell you, the cafeteria is closed, so you won’t get anything down there.’ Lizzie wiped away the latest tears that had fallen. She looked so like her mother used to. ‘Lizzie, I think Lucas should take you back home, what do you think?’

  ‘I don’t know, Tim, I just don’t want to leave her.’

  ‘I know you don’t, but it’s necessary, you’ll be no good to any of us tomorrow if you don’t.’ Tim looked behind him as the family room door creaked open again. ‘I could do with Robert staying with me, if it
’s okay with you, Lucas?’

  Lizzie wasn’t fooled by her uncle’s feigned neediness and her brief smile let him know as much.

  ‘Sure. Absolutely.’ Lucas was delighted to be asked. He let go of Lizzie’s hand as though he was a schoolboy that had just been caught kissing his first love. ‘That’s fine.’

  ‘But,’ Lizzie gave in; she was exhausted, ‘only after I get to see Mum.’

  *

  It was an hour later when Lucas parked Rose’s car underneath the old oak tree that stood for years shadowing the front of Rose’s house. Lizzie had seen her mother as she had wished, before she allowed herself to be brought home. She only intended to stay at home for as long as it took her to take a shower, charge her phone and maybe grab an hour or two’s sleep.

  Lucas gathered the bags from the boot, where Robert had placed them and followed Lizzie along the gravel path around the side of the house to the back door. ‘Where do you want these?’ he asked Lizzie as she entered the code for the alarm from memory and flicked the kitchen light switch on.

  ‘Oh, anywhere there,’ Lizzie pointed out into the hall. ‘Some of them are Mum’s. I’ll unpack them later.’ She watched as he stacked all the bags, including his own, in the hallway and returned to the kitchen where she stood. ‘I can’t believe you are here.’ She walked towards the double lounge doors and turned the lamps on inside. Lizzie was close to tears again. Having Lucas in her family home in Ireland felt so surreal.

  ‘Where else would I be, Lizzie, I want to be with you.’ He moved to hold her but she dodged him, unspoken answers jumping around in her brain, still niggling at her in the background.

  ‘I’ll make some tea,’ she said.

  ‘I could make you something to eat,’ he signalled to the fridge, looking for her permission to open it. She nodded for him to go ahead. There were cold cuts of meat, limp lettuce and a jar of gherkins – he knew she didn’t like them. ‘I’ll make some toast.’ he said, wishing she was as comfortable with him now as she had been when he held her at the hospital. ‘You doing, okay?’ He opened the bread bin and found the last few slices of a batch loaf.