Coming Home For Christmas

by Julia Williams

  But that still didn’t stop her fretting when it came to them leaving.

  ‘You have got our mobile numbers, haven’t you?’ said Marianne for the dozenth time, as they were heading out the door. ‘Call us if there’s a problem or you need us to come back.’ Gabe gave her a coaxing nudge and Marianne finally relented.

  It was a brisk clear night and their breath fogged in front of them.

  ‘So where shall we go?’ said Gabriel, as they set off hand in hand down the lane.

  ‘Gabe! You mean you haven’t booked anything?’ said Marianne in dismay. ‘We’ll never get a table, you idiot.’

  ‘You don’t think the Grove will have something?’ said Gabriel.

  The Grove was a new trendy restaurant which had opened recently.

  ‘We could try,’ said Marianne, ‘it’s still quite early, but I doubt it somehow.’

  As Marianne predicted, they arrived at the Grove to be told there were no tables till 9pm. It was the same at the curry house and the Chinese. At Whispers, Hope Christmas’ poshest restaurant, they didn’t even bother to ask.

  ‘I told you,’ said Marianne crossly So much for having a relaxing evening, this wasn’t going at all according to plan.

  ‘If you hadn’t been making such a fuss about leaving, I would have sorted something out,’ snapped Gabriel, who was clearly angry with himself for not having done so.

  By the time they found themselves squashed up at the Hopesay Arms, they were both thoroughly grumpy with one another. Even more so, when Roger the new landlord apologetically informed them a table wouldn’t be free till 8.30pm.

  ‘I think we’ll be lucky to get a table by then,’ Marianne carped as she looked around the crowded pub. ‘At this rate it’s going to be nine o’clock before we eat.’

  ‘There’s nothing we can do about it, now,’ said Gabriel. ‘We may as well enjoy ourselves.’

  ‘I didn’t want to be out too late,’ said Marianne snappily.

  ‘It can’t be helped,’ was Gabriel’s terse reply.

  This was no good, they were heading for an argument. To deflect it, as soon as they’d settled down at a small table by the fire with their drinks, Marianne rang Eve to let her know they were going to be a bit later.

  ‘Everything’s fine,’ said Eve. ‘The twins are fast asleep. Now go and enjoy yourselves.’

  And to her surprise, after the tetchy start, enjoy herself she did. Gabe seemed more relaxed away from the house, and so, she realised, was she. Soon they were chatting and laughing away, and she found herself staring into those lovely brown eyes of his, and wondering why she ever got cross with him.

  ‘I believe we may have a table for you a bit sooner,’ said Roger, pointing them to the restaurant area, where they saw Ralph Nicholas leaving.

  ‘I forgot it was Valentine’s night,’ he said. ‘An old codger like me doesn’t want to be taking up space when other people need it. Stupid of me, really. Do have my table.’

  ‘Ralph, you’re a guardian angel!’ said Marianne. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Of course I’m sure,’ said Ralph with a broad grin, ‘I don’t like to see two lovely young people at odds with one another.’

  How did he always know everything? Marianne wondered as Roger showed her to their table. She turned back to wave her thanks at him, but Ralph had already vanished.

  And after that, the evening was thoroughly magical. Gabriel ordered champagne, they both had steak and chips, and for the first time they actually talked about having Eve in the house.

  ‘I know it’s tough on you, Marianne,’ said Gabriel, lacing his hands through hers. ‘But honestly, it’s not easy for me either. She drives me mad, the length of time she spends in the bathroom.’

  ‘And the fact she never picks up a towel,’ said Marianne. ‘I feel like her servant half the time.’

  ‘It won’t be forever,’ said Gabriel. ‘And she doesn’t have anywhere else.’

  ‘I know,’ said Marianne. ‘You’re such a softie. It’s why I love you so much.’

  She leaned forward to kiss him.

  ‘And I love you,’ said Gabe, his kiss sending a delicious promise of pleasures to come. ‘I know it’s hard at the moment with Eve staying, but you and the kids are everything I need. Don’t forget that.’

  ‘I won’t,’ said Marianne, and her heart skipped a beat. She’d been being silly, feeling pushed out because Eve was in the house. There was nothing to worry about. Gabriel was still hers. All was well with the world.

  ‘Hey, what’s going on?’ Cat came in the house after a long and fruitless day meeting various TV executives to promote ideas for future programmes that no one wanted – Cat could have screamed for the number of times she’d been told today, ‘It’s a great idea, but not quite what we’re looking for’– to find the kitchen bathed in soft candlelight, and the table set for two.

  Mel was overseeing proceedings, holding a damp haired, babygroed, very sleepy Lou Lou in her arms.

  ‘Paige, will you stop texting!—’ Cat smiled in amusement, that was normally her line ‘—I said fold the napkins properly, not dump them down. Rubes, be careful with the glasses.’

  To her amazement, Paige and Ruby, who would get out of any domestic duties if they could, were scurrying around like the busiest of bees helping sort the table out.

  In the corner, by the oven, James was slaving away. Though he had recently professed to not wanting to continue the TV cookery career which had started when he was twelve, finding it too much ‘hassle’, he still enjoyed cooking in his own time.

  ‘Sit down, and have a glass of this.’ Noel appeared by her side, taking her coat and thrusting a glass of champers in her hand, and forcing her to sit down at the kitchen table. ‘Happy Valentine’s, darling.’

  ‘Aw guys,’ said Cat, ‘that’s lovely. You didn’t have to.’

  ‘Well I thought, realistically, the chances of us getting out tonight were about a million to one against,’ said Noel, ‘so an evening in seemed like the next best thing.’

  This was true, as the children got older it seemed to get harder and harder for her and Noel to have a night alone, not easier. ‘The kids have done the rest.’

  ‘Go on,’ urged Paige, who was incredibly nosy, ‘what have you got each other?’

  ‘None of your business, young lady,’ said Noel, which made Cat suspect he’d bought her underwear.

  ‘And I haven’t even bought Dad a card,’ admitted Cat, blushing with mortification. ‘I’d completely forgotten.’

  It turned out to be dinner not quite for two, as Lou Lou got a second wind and ended up on her lap through most of it. In the meantime Ruby kept coming in to tell very bad jokes and James fretted at the stainless steel oven, showing an unusual anxiety about the state of his lobster thermidor. Mel and Paige spent so much time anxiously hovering around them, to make sure things went smoothly, in the end, Cat pulled them all in and made them sit down.

  It was years since they’d had this much fun with each other on Valentine’s Day – it was, as Noel always said, only a day, which was hyped up by the card industry. But the way Cat had been feeling about herself recently, it was nice to feel appreciated and loved for who she was. Cat looked around at her children, bustling about the kitchen for her and Noel, and she felt her heart burst with love and pride.

  ‘Thanks, guys, that was wonderful,’ she said, ‘but do you know what? Valentine’s isn’t just about me and Dad, it’s about you lot too. We love you very very much. Thank you.’

  ‘Ugh, soppy alert,’ said Ruby, until Noel tickled her.

  The kids cleaned up, Mel put Lou Lou to bed, and then at Cat’s insistence, they all sat down to play the Game of Life, a family favourite. As usual James won outright, through a combination of blagging, persistence and downright cheating in places. There was much laughter and good cheer, and Cat felt her spirits lift.

  She looked round at her family with satisfaction. It was rare that they spent much time together these days, and as her fami
ly grew up, would soon be rarer still. Best she make the most of it.

  ‘You ready?’ Richard appeared at the door, as Pippa came down the stairs and her heart skipped a beat. Normally when they met, Richard was dressed casually, but tonight, he’d made an effort with a smart shirt and tie, casual dark blue jacket, and chinos, which accentuated his rangy good looks. She had a sudden longing to run her hands through his greying hair, and the surge of desire that shot through her took her by surprise.

  ‘Almost,’ said Pippa, feeling her mouth go dry. She usually saw Richard at home, or occasionally at his house if her mum could babysit. But going out, on a proper date, was making her feel absurdly nervous. It felt like a new phase in their relationship, as if they were taking things up a gear, and her stomach twisted in knots as she wondered if she was ready for that.

  But as his face lit up with a smile and his green eyes dazzled her, Pippa blushed, hoping he couldn’t read her thoughts. Maybe she was finally moving on. It was a long long time since she’d felt this combination of nerves, sickness and excitement.

  ‘You look lovely,’ Lucy typed, and stuck her thumbs up in approval, for once behaving herself while Richard was there. That was encouraging. Perhaps Lucy was getting used to the new situation at last.

  ‘So you do,’ said Margaret, Pippa’s mum, and hugged her.

  ‘Be good,’ typed Lucy, and gave her mum a radiant smile. Pippa bent down to give her daughter an extra special kiss goodnight, relieved she was being good. Life would be so much easier if Lucy really were beginning to accept Richard.

  ‘Now you two have a lovely time,’ said Mum, in a way that Pippa couldn’t quite understand.

  Richard didn’t say much, as he escorted her to his car.

  ‘You don’t mind driving?’ said Pippa, looking puzzled.

  ‘No it’s fine,’ said Richard.

  ‘So where are we going?’ Pippa said. ‘Surely you can tell me now.’

  But Richard refused to be drawn, merely saying she’d see soon enough.

  After half an hour driving down the dark country lanes of Shropshire, Richard finally pulled off the road down a barely lit country drive.

  Pippa gasped in awe as they pulled up in front of the Westcott Country Manor – a hotel that had recently made it into the top twenty luxury hotels in the country. It was rumoured all manner of celebrities used it as a country hideaway.

  ‘Oh Richard!’ said Pippa, ‘we’re not having dinner here?’

  ‘More than that,’ said Richard. ‘I took the liberty of getting your mum to pack a bag. I thought you – we – deserved a night off.’

  It was true that the nights that Richard stayed over were infrequent and could be fraught if Lucy were there. Pippa preferred to coincide them with nights when Lucy was at respite care, to avoid the inevitable sulks which greeted Richard in the morning.

  ‘What about the children?’ said Pippa. ‘And the farm?’

  ‘Your dad’s coming later, and your parents are both staying over,’ said Richard. ‘And the boys said they’d help with the milking. It’s all sorted.’

  Pippa was staggered, he’d done all this for her? She was touched by his thought and consideration.

  ‘Richard, I don’t know what to say,’ said Pippa, fleetingly wondering how Dan would take the news that she’d spent a night away from home with Richard, then telling herself it wasn’t anything to do with him.

  She had never seen such luxury, or spent time anywhere like this. On the rare occasions she and Dan had managed to get away together, it had always been to cheap budget hotels.

  ‘Don’t say anything,’ said Richard. ‘Just enjoy. You deserve it.’

  In a daze, Pippa followed him into the hotel, where Richard checked in, while Pippa gazed around at her surroundings, hoping her jaw wasn’t dropping to the floor. She followed him up the stairs, to their room, with its massive bed, and plush carpets. She felt dazzled by the luxury.

  ‘I know it’s still early days for us,’ Richard said, pouring her a glass of champagne, ‘and I get that it’s complicated with Dan, but I’m so glad I found you, Pippa. Happy Valentine’s Day, here’s to us.’

  Pippa swallowed hard. This was all wonderful, and she felt she was in a romantic bubble, as if she had suddenly been transported to a Richard Curtis movie, but even now, it was hard to just relax into this. Then she thought, bugger it, I deserve a treat.

  ‘Thanks, Richard,’ she said, ‘and for taking things slowly. I really appreciate it.’

  ‘To us,’ said Richard, ‘and to the future.’

  ‘Whatever it holds,’ said Pippa, raising her glass. At the moment, she didn’t have a clue.

  My Broken Brain

  Day Thirty Six 10pm

  Jo asked me in counselling today, how I feel.

  Ha. That’s a good one.

  I’m a middle aged man, living at his parents’, away from my kids, trying to make sense of how I lost my life. I’m writing this on my laptop, in the bedroom I slept in as a boy. And my wife – sorry, ex-wife – has just spent a night away with her new partner.

  How the hell am I supposed to feel? Angry. Angry is how I bloody feel. And I know I have no right to.

  I cannot imagine where I go from here. Pippa’s finally signed the divorce papers. So now we can proceed. She’s making a go of things with Richard. Which is what I wanted for her. I can’t bear the fact that I’ve made her so unhappy. I wanted her to have a future to look forward to. But I wasn’t expecting this. The way it would make me feel. Because even though I’ve engineered it, and I thought it was what I wanted for her. It hurts. So badly.

  Go figure, Holliday, you inconsistent git.

  Time to work out what comes next. And where we go from here.

  Never mind my brain being broken. My family’s broken too.

  I feel like Humpty Dumpty. Who’s going to put me back together again?

  March

  Chapter Seven

  ‘So you’ve finally signed the divorce papers?’ said Cat.

  She was sitting in Pippa’s kitchen with Lou Lou wriggling on her lap. Cat planned to take her out to look at the animals in a while. She seemed to enjoy that. Pointing out the cows and mooing, and laughing at the chickens which wandered about the yard.

  ‘Yes,’ said Pippa, a slight flicker of almost indiscernible sadness crossing her face. ‘I’d been putting off the inevitable. I should have done it ages ago. It wasn’t fair on either Dan or Richard. But it just seems so – final – you know?’

  ‘I think I do,’ said Cat, remembering the bleak time when they were still living in London and she thought she’d lost Noel. She could imagine all too well how hard it would be to let go.

  ‘So what changed?’

  Pippa blushed.

  ‘Oh,’ said Cat, ‘the dirty mid-week bonk worked then.’

  ‘You knew about that?’ said Pippa, mortified.

  ‘Marianne and I both did,’ laughed Cat. ‘Richard asked our advice about where to take you. We suggested a lovely country hotel.’

  Richard had pestered both her and Marianne for weeks as to whether or not he should take Pippa away. Knowing that Pippa needed a push in the right direction, they’d both said yes.

  Cat looked at her friend slyly. ‘I take it that did the trick?’

  ‘Shut up,’ said Pippa, blushing again. ‘It was lovely if you must know, but it made me see I had to make a proper choice, or lose Richard too. He’s been very patient with me, but I feel like I may have been stringing him along a bit without meaning to.’

  ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself,’ said Cat, ‘with what you’ve been through, you needed to take your time. Still, onwards and upwards, eh?’

  ‘Absolutely,’ said Pippa. ‘No more harking back to Dan. Richard is gorgeous and lovely and very very sexy. Time to look forward, not back.’

  ‘And the kids are ok with things?’ asked Cat, knowing that Pippa had been having trouble getting them to accept Richard.

  ‘The boys don’t say much, but
they seem to be ok,’ said Pippa. ‘I’ve explained to them, that if Dan had wanted it, I’d have gone back to him like a shot. However, as he doesn’t, I’ve got to find a life of my own again, and I think they understand that. Lucy on the other hand …’ She sighed heavily. ‘It’s been harder to explain to her – you know how close she is to Dan. She’s really difficult whenever Richard’s about, in fact she’s quite difficult a lot of the time now. Hormones kicking in, I expect. That doesn’t help.’

  ‘I know that feeling,’ said Cat. ‘We’ve got two hormonal teenagers, one pre teen, and me on the cusp of the menopause. Our house can be hellish at times. It’s a wonder Noel and James don’t move out.’

  Pippa laughed.

  ‘You’re making me glad I’ve only got one girl,’ she said. ‘Anyway, I’m sure Lucy will get used to things in time. And to be honest, however our relationship pans out, I’m glad Richard took me away. I did have a really lovely time.’

  ‘So the hotel was nice then?’ said Cat.

  ‘Nice? It was fabulous,’ said Pippa. ‘I’ve never been anywhere so luxurious. We should go there with Marianne and have a spa day. They were advertising some introductory special offers. Here, let me get the leaflet.’

  Pippa got up and went out of the room, and Lou Lou wriggled out of Cat’s lap. She had recently started walking and toddled over to the farm cat, pointing at it, saying ‘cat’ proudly, a new word she had recently learnt. The cat gave such a look of disdain, Cat laughed out loud, but she did consent to let Lou Lou stroke her rather energetically, till Pippa returned.