I tried to keep in touch with them, but they understood why I needed the distance, and never pushed me. I also congratulated them on their Grammy win. The song they had written for John Mayer won big, and earned my parents, and John a trophy.
Their score was nominated for an Oscar, but did not win. My mom and dad were thrilled to be nominated, and partied until the early morning dawn. They were filmed walking the red carpet, and mom had sent me the You Tube link. My mother looked beautiful, and my father always the handsome debonair man. He wore a tuxedo like no one else could.
I had made arrangements to leave for California first thing in the morning, but I just wanted some time with Uncle Jack. We visited all my favorite museums, and of course, the coffee house where I used to perform poetry in. I didn’t get on stage this time, and just took in the other performers doing their thing.
Uncle Jack told me that he had visited Michael in the hospital after receiving the news of my attack. I was shocked by this, but continued to listen to him. He confessed that he almost choked him to death, and wanted to see him dead. I knew very little of my dad, and Uncle Jack’s background when they were younger. My father always shielded me from knowing about our family tree. My grandparents were deceased, and I never really pushed the issue to learn about them.
Uncle Jack just said that he could have ended Michael’s life if he wanted to. He decided not to go through with it because it would only hurt me. I was the one that stopped him.
Uncle Jack looked so broken after telling me this. I just put my arms around his shoulders, and promised him that I wasn’t angry or disappointed in him.
I told Uncle Jack that I can’t change the past on what Michael did to me. I can only promise that I would fight, and no longer be afraid. We finished our coffee, and returned home. I needed to finish packing, and get ready for my flight. No tears this time as Uncle Jack left me at the airport. I was stronger than when I arrived here months ago. I felt healthy and alive. For the first time in a long while, I was beginning to feel like who I used to be.
What happened to me did undoubtedly change me. Leaving everyone behind was the hardest thing I could do in my life. I knew in my heart that I couldn’t return to the ones that loved me until I healed myself. I have found renewed sprit within me, and my heart is full. I am now ready to reclaim what I lost, beginning with Simon. I just prayed he would give me the chance to make it up to him.
Hanging on the quad with my friends made me happy. The girls were rambling on about the amazing prom we had, and they wouldn’t stop talking about it. I usually would shut them up by now, but not today. Alexis and Bailey stood by me through it all, even when I tried to shut them out. They deserved to be happy and carefree seniors. I obviously skipped prom. I was asked by countless girls to go, and I always said no. During prom weekend, I stayed at my beach house. I surfed during the day, and I was lost in my memories at night. Always dreaming of Nicolette, not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. My feelings have not changed. I was deeply hurt, and almost destroyed when she left me. I try every day to understand her reasons why she left, and I pray daily that she’s doing okay. I only hope and pray we will find our way back to each other.
I hadn’t heard again from Nicolette since the time she had called me. I replaced my broken phone that day, and tried not obsess over her. Sam begged me to call her, and I never did. The guys also went to prom, and Sam is now seeing a great girl named Brooke. They had met up at San Diego University on a college weekend. Sam had been accepted, and wanted to tour the school yet again. They met at a meet and greet for new students, and have been attached ever since. Sam introduced us while she was here for the prom weekend, and she, of course, was Sam’s escort.
Jimmy and Alexis were still going strong. Jimmy was awarded a scholarship to run track for Stanford. Alexis was going to UCLA, and as for Bailey, she was set to go to Columbia University in New York, shocking our group and her family. She applied on a whim, not knowing if she would get in, but to her surprise, she did. Bailey, although blond, was never dumb. She just enjoyed playing the part to meet guys. What happened to Nicolette changed her way of thinking. Bailey had stopped worrying about trivial things that usually troubled high school students.
Bailey didn’t have a boyfriend, but didn’t go alone to the prom. Jameson, her best friend, proudly escorted her. I heard the gang danced the night away, and partied throughout the weekend. Jameson had been accepted into the Fashion Institute of New York. We all laughed when he screamed, “New York, you better be ready, because we are on our way!”
I was about to make my way over to the gym for a work-out, and I heard my name being called over the loud speaker. I had to report to the Guidance office. I said my goodbyes to my friends, and took off for the office.
My Guidance Counselor greeted me at the entrance, and invited me in to talk in his office. I didn’t have a clue on what he wanted, so I just patiently waited for him to talk.
Simon, he said. “You have been a shining example to your fellow students here at this school. We know what you have had to endure the past few months, and what happened in your junior year.” I sarcastically responded, “Gee thanks for the recap dude.” As if I could ever forget? He went on to say he didn’t mean to resurrect any hurt feelings. He was interested in knowing, if I have considered what I was to say on graduation day.
I honestly told him that I didn’t want to deliver a speech, but he urged me to reconsider. This was a tradition that had to be met. If I agreed to give a speech, I didn’t want it to be the usual follow your dreams, blah, blah, blah. If I were to speak, I wanted to say what I felt, and let it be on my terms. My counselor agreed, and we shook hands on it.
Later that evening, I had a long discussion with my father. He advised me to speak from the heart, since he knew and understood that would be the only way I know how. He gave me a strong squeeze to my shoulders, and said how very proud he was of me. Not only because of my accomplishments, but being his son and the man I had become. I hugged my father with all of my strength and love I felt for him. If it wasn’t for the unconditional love and support my parents and my brothers had given me, I honestly don’t think I would have made it. I had my best friends, and even Nicolette’s parents kept in touch with me.
I locked myself in my room, and began writing my graduation speech. I must have gone through ten drafts before getting it right. I still was unsure on what I had written, but it was done. I was told to speak from my heart, and this is exactly what I planned to do.
I checked my phone before going to bed. I saw countless voice mails from Bailey and Sam. I was too tired to listen to them now, and I figured I would see them tomorrow at school for the ceremony.
“You look very handsome, son.” My mother was beaming with pride and joy.
“Thank you mom and thank you for my new jacket.”
“Anytime, honey. Just to see you wearing something other than board shorts makes me happy.” I laughed at my mom’s comment. “Hey if I could, I would wear my shorts.”
“Simon, thank you so much for staying in your old room while your brothers are here. I missed having my baby under my roof.”
“I was happy to be here too. Please understand mom why I moved to the beach house.”
“I understand more than you know, Simon.”
“I love you so much mom. Thank you for everything.” I wanted to say more to my mother, but got interrupted by three giants I call my brothers.
My brother’s all barreled in, and shouted. “Let’s go baby brother…time for you to make mommy cry with your speech.” Andrew teased me, and earning a slap from Jacob and a now a stop it look from mom. Andrew mumbled sorry, and we left for the ceremony.
Forgetting that I had shut my phone off, I looked to see my inbox full with messages. As I started to listen to the first one, I was interrupted by Jacob. My brothers were proud of me today, and were secretly hoping that I had changed my mind about Northwestern. My heart was here in California, and I knew what I
wanted to do with my life.
“Wow, your guy is going to lose his mind when he sees you today.” My father complimented me on my new dress, courtesy of mom. “Thank you daddy, but let’s not get a head of ourselves. First, I don’t know if I even have a guy anymore, and second, I need to talk with Simon above anything else today.”
“Well we need to get you graduated first, Miss Number 2 in her class.” My mother has never been more proud of me. I was only a mere few points shy from Simon, but I didn’t care. I was proud of him, and I was happy he was chosen to lead our class. I had spoken to Bailey and Sam this morning, but they weren’t able to reach Simon. Sam had begged me to call Simon before the graduation today. Sam felt he deserved to know that I was back in town, and planning on being here today at the graduation.
Sam was being protective of his best friend, telling me how much he suffered in my absence over the past couple of months. Everyone was worried for Simon. He finally has come up for air, and as much as Sam wanted us to reunite, he needed to have Simon’s back. I totally respected Sam for this. I promised Sam, that if Simon did not want to speak with me, I would walk away, and not bother him again. He was satisfied with my answer.
I had texted Bailey to let her know I was here. She met me near the quad, and we hugged each other. I missed her so much. Alexis joined us along with Jimmy, Sam, and Jameson.
“You look marvelous darling.” Jameson had beamed at me. “Why thank you, Jameson.” I needed to say something to my friends right now, and it couldn’t wait.
They all gave me their full attention, and I tried not to cry. “I need you all to know how much I love each and every one of you. You are all so special to me. I know I have been a terrible example for a friend. I should have been here with you this year, enjoying what should have come natural for me. Attending parties, and dancing at my prom. All of these experiences, I have missed when I should have been sharing them with Simon, and all of you. I am truly sorry. I am proud to call you my best friends, and I love you all. I can’t begin to show you how much I appreciate all your friendships, support, and understanding you have shown me.”
“Bring on the water works,” cried Bailey. My friends pulled me into a group hug, and I didn’t want to let them go. Before we made our way through the auditorium, I had asked about Simon. Sam just said that he tried to get in touch with him, but to no avail. I glanced around the room, thinking he should be on stage by now. I crossed my fingers and hoped for a happy reunion today with Simon.
As I took my seat, I noticed my parents along with Uncle Jack and Aunt Sara were seated with the Paulson’s, and my heart filled with joy. This felt like a good sign, seeing them all together. My last name beginning with V placed me almost in the back row of our graduating class. I could barely see the stage, so thank goodness for the big screens that hung above us. As the camera span over the stage, I caught a glimpse of Simon. He looked so beautiful, and his skin was a deep tan. His hair looked multi highlighted from the sun. I just wanted to charge the crowd, and run into his arms.
I had to blink, and focus on what I thought I was seeing. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? I could have sworn I saw Nicolette. I just shook my head at my thoughts. As far as I knew, Nicolette was still in Switzerland.
Principal Davies began his speech to our fellow teachers, and graduating class; the man could talk and drag on. For once he kept his speech short, and was anxious to get the commencement under way. Awards and honors were given out to many graduates, including myself.
I received honors for my athletic accomplishments. I just wanted to get my speech over with. My heart ached for Nicolette, and she flooded my mind. I wanted her here with me today, not thousands of miles away.
Finally my moment arrived and it was my turn to deliver the Class of 2009 commencement speech to the faculty, my fellow students, and of course, my proud family.
You could hear my brothers hollering from the stand, and witnessing my mom elbowing the triplets to be quiet. I couldn’t help but laugh. They are who they are, three brawny guys from Colorado, and my brothers. Principal Davies stood up to speak before introducing me to the class. He spoke very highly of me, and I was almost embarrassed by his praise.
“Before I introduce the Class of 2009 Valedictorian to you, I want to take a few minutes to tell you about this incredibly inspiring young man. Simon Paulson has only been a student of our school, and community for two years now. Upon arriving from Colorado, he made his mark here at our school the very first day. Simon has been involved with many academic programs held here at our school. He has shown us his athletic abilities on the track, and for those of you who might have missed it, he along with his teammates brought home a victory for our Track and Field Team this year, and breaking our ten year losing streak! The crowd erupted with applause. I thought, please god, let him stop talking now. I wanted to give my speech, and get through it as quickly as possible.
Without further ado, please rise and give your applause to Mr. Simon Paulson, this year’s class Valedictorian.”
I actually felt my cheeks heating up, and I have never blushed before. Well that’s not true, the only one that could make me do that was Nicolette. My heart began to ache again, but I just needed to get through this. I stood at the podium, and I thanked Principal Davies for his kind words, and then went on to thank our teachers, and graduating class.
My speech began with this…“When I found out that I had been chosen as your class Valedictorian, I was surprised if you want to know the truth. I had thought someone else was going to be awarded this honor. I have never been one to want to stand out from anyone else. I just wanted to blend in like most kids do. I guess being over six feet in height didn’t really help my cause. I could hear my brothers laugh when I spoke about my height. I wasn’t sure I wanted to give a speech today, but my advisor, and of course, Principal Davies talked me into it. Delivering a commencement speech was a tradition, so I have been told. I had made it clear what I wanted to say, and would deliver my speech to you, and not by the usual standards. I can’t be the one who stands before you, and tells you all to follow your dreams, to make successes out of yourselves, and make your parents proud. I can only speak about me. I owed it to my parents to be here today, as well as my friends, and all who have been a constant in my life. I have broken my speech down in two parts, please bear with me.”
“The good part of my two years being here at this amazing school, was being accepted. I was the new kid from Colorado, and I represented the total opposite of you. My first day here, I walked right into Coach Johnson’s office, and asked if I could try out for his track team. He took one look at me, and laughed, almost falling off his chair. I remained where I stood, and I asked him to give me a shot.” Coach laughed and nodded at the memory.
“He encouraged me to try out for football, which would have made my dad and brothers very happy. I wanted to run, I was fast, and I knew I could bring our team the wins they needed. I guess you can say I was confident, maybe even a bit conceited about it. I just needed to convince the coach of what I could do.”
I looked at the crowd and continued, “Later that week, I was given my try-out, and I ran up against the fiercest competitor I know, Jimmy Taylor. I looked down at my friend, and he saluted me while the crowd again erupted. I leaped through the hurdles, and beat him only by a few seconds. Right then, I knew I got it. Coach Johnson gave me a chance, and from the bottom of my heart, I can’t thank him enough for the opportunity to run for this school.”
“Thank you Jimmy, and the rest of our team. You are like brothers to me, and I will always hold you guys in my heart. Thank you for accepting, and letting me be your captain. A captain is one, who leads his team, and I couldn’t have done that without you, so again, I thank you.”
Applause erupted throughout the large room. Simon had taken a sip of water before continuing with his speech. I kept wiping my tears falling from my eyes. How could I have ever walked away from Simon? He is the most amazing person I know. I ne
ed to show him how sorry I am for hurting him, and all I want to do is to love him for the rest of my life. Simon took a deep breath, and began again.
“Thank you to my family. I couldn’t have become the man you see standing here in front of you today without the love my parents have given me all of my nineteen years here on this earth. They are amazing people who believe in education. They only want the best for their four sons, and have always put my brothers and me first above anything else. Thank you mom and dad, I love you. I’m sorry mom if I made you cry, this thank you was long overdue.” I see my mom as she blows me a kiss through the crowd. I raise my hand to catch it. I had put them through a lot, and I shut them out when I shouldn’t have. My family deserved this moment to be happy, and I’m happy I can do this for them.
I had taken another sip of my water and I glanced down at Sam, who looked at me shaking his head. Sam had appeared nervous about something, and of course, I had no clue. I just continued on with my speech.
I glanced down at my silent phone, and read a text message from Bailey. It read:
You need to let Simon know you’re here. What he is about to say may hurt your feelings! Please go to him. Now!
Whatever Simon was about to say, I probably deserved, and I texted back.
“Don’t worry about me friend, I’ll know when to go to him.”
I shuffled my notes, and began again. “I told you that I had written two parts to my speech. Well, I believe I covered the good part, and now I have a few things to say that are the bad parts. I guess I’m considered popular around here. ‘Applause and laughter,’ Most of you know that I’m not exempt from the usual high school rumor mill that always seems to get it wrong.
A Changed Life Page 27
