In my junior year I dated lots of girls until one became my first girlfriend here in California. Her name was Jennifer Williams, you all remember her right? She was smart, and very pretty. She loved her time here at this school, and I can recall Jennifer telling me that one day, Harvard would be lucky to have her on their campus.
Sadly, Jennifer was killed in a car accident, and taken from those who loved her. Please join me in a moment of silence for our fallen friend. My classmates along with myself bowed our heads in a moment of quiet, and when I raised my head, I continued. I only hope she is looking upon all of us here today, and wishing us well. Now on to another person whom I would like all of you to remember here today. My girlfriend Nicolette Vanelle, she can’t be here with us accepting her honors and awards. She should be standing on this stage with me, but she can’t because she is on the other side of the world right now.”
Simon, referred to me as his girlfriend, I know I had heard him right. He still loves, and wants me. I feel many eyes are staring at me. Our classmates are confused on what Simon is saying right now. He doesn’t realize that I’m here, and have returned to him. I sit quietly in the back row, and continue to listen.
I needed to pace myself for what I was going to say next. My friends were staring at me, and I glanced over to my parents. For the first time, I noticed the Vanelles, sitting with my family. How could they be here today when Nicolette is not? I shook it off, and continued on.
Swallowing hard and trying my best to keep it together. “Nicolette should be here with us today, and celebrating with her family and friends. Nicolette was also a transplant here to our school from the windy city of Chicago, she always joked and constantly ended any conversation she was having with this line. “You know I’m from Chicago, or hey, I’m from Chicago”. It was a constant punch line. My girl feared nothing, and from day one walking onto our campus, she was confident, and quickly made friends.”
“I didn’t meet her here at school. I met Nicolette at the beach.” I looked down to my friend, and said. “Remember Sammy, we were climbing over the wall to get a better look at the stunning beauty walking along the water.” Sam smiled up at me. “I knew I was hooked from the moment I laid eyes on Nicolette. She was like no other girl I had ever met, and she took my breath away. I climbed down that wall as fast as I could, knowing I had to meet her.”
“I felt an instant connection with Nicolette, and she felt the same for me. We talked for hours, and got to know one another. She was so easy to just pour your heart out to, and I may have even loved her then, from day one. I mentioned the rumor mill earlier and well she wasn’t exempt from it either. Lots of people have been saying many things about Nicolette, and drawing your own conclusions, as to why she suddenly dropped out of sight, and out of school.
I can no longer be silent, and I will clear up the rumors once and for all. Nicolette is not here with us today, because someone hurt her very much in a way that is just unimaginable. She left to heal her mind, body, and spirit. Leaving her family, her friends, and me, behind to miss her, and I wish every day for her to come back to us. Nicolette leaving broke my heart, and painfully shattering it in millions of pieces. This was not her fault, and she was left with no other choice.
I begged Nicolette to stay with me, and to trust me to know how to take care of her. She left me anyway, and I haven’t spoken to Nicolette in months and missing her gets harder with each day that passes. You know how they say, if you truly love someone, set them free? If they come back to you, they were meant to be yours. You don’t know how true I want to believe that, and after I leave this school for the last time today, I plan on getting on a plane, and going to Switzerland to bring my girl home.”
“I guess if you want some inspiration to leave with here today, then I suggest you go with this. Many of you will have lots of boyfriends and girlfriends. Don’t worry about finding the “one,” you will know when the right one enters your life, and grabs hold of your heart. When that day comes, it will be magical, and I can promise you that. It was for me, and Nicolette, and I’m hoping it will be again. I have so many things I want to say to Nicolette, and I’m just scared that I will mess it up, and not find the right words to tell her how I feel.” I take another deep breath, and look up to mine, and Nicolette’s family. My mom and Christina are crying and wiping their tears away. I wasn’t planning on that to happen. “Principal Davies, thank you for allowing me to speak from my heart here today.” My principal smiled back at me. I was about to conclude my speech, when I hear a familiar voice from the very far end of the room.
“What will you say to Nicolette, when you see her?”
I take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. I look down at Sam, who is nodding at me. His expression said it all. “You’re not crazy, Simon. You heard it right, because we all heard it too. Your girl is here and has come back to you.”
If there was ever a right time to speak up and let Simon know I’m here, this was it. I found my courage to stand up and call out to him. I know he heard me as I watch him look out to the crowd. I find my voice and ask him my question again. “What will you say to Nicolette, when you see her?” His beautiful tan face almost went white when he heard my voice again. I slowly made my way through the long aisle, passing my friends who were crying and cheering us on as we were about to reunited. It felt like a scene playing out from a movie, and everyone was watching to find out what would happen next. This was real, and it was our life, and I want it back.
I stopped before the stage, and my eyes locked on to Simon’s. This was the first time we had seen each other, since I left him months ago. His eyes were filled with tears, and he looked at me as if he didn’t believe I was real, and standing before him. Simon blinked a few times, and now was focused only on me. Simon remained at the podium, and answered my question.
“If given the chance to talk with Nicolette again, I would tell her that I love her, and I never stopped. Not one day passed when we were apart, that she didn’t fill my thoughts, or take over my dreams at night.” Simon’s tears began spilling down and wetting his cheeks. The room was so quiet, no one made a sound.
I asked Simon, “Would you forgive her for leaving you?” Simon replied, “There’s nothing to forgive. I now know, and understand why she did what she felt she needed to do.” I asked another question of him, and he gave me his complete attention. “Are you willing to trust her and believe that she will never run again? Believe that she is completely and madly in love with you, and will never leave you again?” Simon stood there, and listened to every word I was saying to him. I walked a bit closer now. “I left because I was drowning in my own pain, and I was riddled with guilt, and couldn’t trust my feelings for you. I needed to get well before I could allow myself to come back to you. All you asked of me was to believe in our love and trust you. You’re right, Simon, I did run, but not from you. The truth is that I didn’t trust me, and I doubted myself every day. You pledged your love for me over and over again, and it was your love that I carried with me. You never left my heart.”
“Shame had taken over my soul, and I just felt lost. I knew in my heart the only way I would ever return to you, was to heal me first. Once I did that there would never be any question in my heart where I belonged. Simon, you are home to me, and I love you. I am so sorry for hurting you, and I hope you can believe, and really understand my leaving was never about you. I worked every day to get better, and I have been fighting my way back to you ever since.” I had finally been able to breathe again, I couldn’t say anything else to Simon, and he was still staring at me with glassy eyes. He never broke eye contact with me.
My heart was beating so fast with listening to my girl pour her heart out to me. Without caring who heard her, in front of hundreds of people, Nicolette pledged her love for me. All I could do was look into her beautiful eyes, and feel her love run through me. I knew I had to make a move, but my legs felt like jelly. This is what Nicolette had the power to do to me. She could make me submit
to her completely with just her beautiful eyes.
I looked up at my family, and Nicolette’s, and if I could read lips, I knew my brothers were telling me to go for it. Sam snapped his fingers at me, and shouted, “Go get your girl, Simon, so we can get out of here already.” Our attentive audience just broke out in laughter, and applause. I stepped away from the podium, and ran right for Nicolette. She stood there anticipating my every move, and when I got closer she knew what to do.
I extended my arms, and she ran toward me. I folded her into me, and twirled her around, never breaking my firm grip on her body.
I leaned in and whispered something in her ear for only Nicolette to hear. She smiled, and I crashed my mouth onto hers, and kissed her like no tomorrow. We received a standing ovation for our very public reunion. Principal Davies announced to our graduating class, “Our commencement ceremony has ended, and congratulations to all of you.”
I was still holding onto to Nicolette, when I whisked her away outside to be alone with her. I cupped her face, as if I didn’t believe she was really here. I have prayed for this day for so long. My angel has come back to me, and I’m so in love with her.
“Simon, please say something. Are you okay? Please tell me what you’re thinking?” Simon kissed me so gently on my lips.
“Thank you, baby, for coming back home to me.” I looked lovingly back at him, and couldn’t help but smile. He continued kissing me, and held me tightly in his arms.
“I love you so much, Simon. Please believe that I will never leave you again, and I am done with that part of our story. I just want to be with you.” Simon asked me, “Forever, Nicolette?” I replied with the one word Simon needed to hear. I kissed him, and whispered, “Forever.”
We walked hand in hand to find our family and friends waiting for us. Simon’s brothers, Andrew, Jacob, and Cameron each took a turn picking me up, and tossing me around like a rag doll. Simon said to me, “Get used to it, Nicolette. It’s a Paulson signature move.” I laughed along with them. They were all so wonderful, and I’m so happy they will be my family too!
After celebrating at the graduation luncheon, we all went our separate ways. I had planned ahead to tell my parents, I wouldn’t be returning home tonight or even through the weekend. If I had worked it out with Simon, they knew where I would be, and wished me and Simon well. I couldn’t be happier, and so relieved that my parents trusted me enough to believe, I was finally okay, and so in love with Simon. They knew I had chosen him a long time ago, and there was no denying it now.
I had thanked Sam, for everything he did for Simon, and for me. I met his lovely girlfriend Brooke, and hoped we would be good friends someday. Sam had kissed my forehead, and wished us well.
After saying goodbyes to our family and friends, I placed Nicolette into my jeep. I didn’t know Sam had picked it up after I had left my house, and drove it here to the school for me. I now know why I had so many voice mails on my phone. Our friends are amazing people, and we are so lucky to have them in our lives. My mom had asked me to talk to her for a minute, and she could see I was anxious to leave. Since it was mom asking, I gave her the time she asked for.
We walked over to the quad and were standing in front of the huge palm tree. I looked up at it and smiled. I shared many amazing moments here with my friends and Nicolette. Mom pulled a small box out of her purse, and placed it in my hand. I looked down at it, and immediately asked her, “Is this what I think it is?” She smiled, and said yes. Mom apologized for ever doubting my feelings for Nicolette. After witnessing Nicolette, and how she returned to me today, she knew how much we loved each other. Mom wished me well, and I was given her blessing to marry Nicolette.
I hugged my mother, and kissed her cheek. Marina Paulson was truly an amazing woman. “If I’m anything, it’s because of you, mom.” I had whispered into her ear. She hugged me again, and pushed me away. “Go be with your girl now. I think you two have waited long enough.” I clutched the box that I was holding in my hand, and kissed it. I ran back to my jeep, as quick as my feet could take me. The only place that I wanted to take Nicolette was home to our beach house…the beautiful home that Aunt Grace had left to me. She knew I was the only one that could appreciate the house for its true beauty, and now it’s mine to share with Nicolette.
Nicolette was holding onto my thigh as I drove us home. Her smile was amazing, and she looked so happy. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. My girl was beautiful. I looked at her, remembering how I felt that very first day on the beach when we met. I parked the jeep, and ran over to her side, lifting her out, and into my arms. She squealed, and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck. I leaned in and kissed her. Her skin was so soft, and she smelled like roses.
I carried my girl all the way up the stairs, and into our home. She just took it all in, as if seeing it again for the first time. I gently put her down, and just continued to stare at her.
She slapped my chest, and said, “Stop it, already. Baby I’m really here and I am here to stay with you… forever.”
She held my hand, and walked us down the hallway that led to our bedroom. We walked in, and she turned to face me. “Simon, I love you with all my heart and soul, and I want nothing more than to be with for the rest of my life. I want you to make love to me.”
I truly didn’t expect Nicolette to say those eight words to me. I took her beautiful face into my hands, and I said, no to her. Nicolette’s eyes filled with tears. She looked so rejected, and I needed to explain my reasons before she could hurt anymore.
“Baby, you don’t know how much I want to. I can’t wait to take you into my arms, and make love to you.”
“Then why say no, Simon?” She was looking into my eyes for answers.
“Nicolette, I want you so much, and I have wanted you from the minute we met. You are all that I want, and will ever need. I just got you back, and we’re together again. I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for.”
Nicolette took my hands into hers. “Simon, I am ready to fully give myself to you. Making love with you would truly be my first time. It would banish away the scars that Michael had left on me. I need you and want to make love to you.” Nicolette was breaking down my resistance, and as much as I thought it would be best to wait, my body was unequivocally responding to hers. It was our undeniable electric connection that was always present when we were together. I ached and longed for Nicolette, and it pained me to see her so desirable, and to reject her.
“Are you sure, baby?” Nicolette kissed me, and said, “More than anything in the world. I want you, Simon. Please make love to me, and make me yours.” Her words were my undoing, and made my heart burn with desire for her. I wanted her more than anything, but knew I had to be gentle, and not lose control all at the same time.
Nicolette stood up, giving me a flash of her sexy smile. She slowly unzipped her dress, letting it fall to her feet. She gracefully stepped out, and placed her hands on her hips to look at me. She was wearing silk stockings that attached to a pink lace garter belt. Her bra and barely there matching thong completed the set. She lifted her leg on to the bed, and ran her hands from the bottom of her ankles, all the way up to the tops of her stockings.
My girl was seducing me right before my eyes, and the sight of her made my heart almost beat right out of my chest. I had never seen her look more beautiful, and dare I say, downright sexy.
She removed my jacket over my shoulders, and placed it on the chair. Slowly she began unbuttoning my shirt, and removing it from my body.
I could feel her fingers running down my chest, and sending electric currents through my body. She quickly removed my belt, pulling my pants and boxers down my legs, and releasing my hard erection. Nicolette stepped back, and admired my naked body. Her eyes were alive with want, as she worked her eyes from my head and traveled all the way down to my feet. Nicolette bit, and licked her bottom lip. She was so turned on, and I smiled, as if I could read her naughty mind.
I then removed her
bra, garter, and panties. It was my turn to admire her. Nicolette’s body was exquisite. She had a petite frame, her skin was soft, and her breasts fit into my hand, like they were made for me to hold. I picked her up, and she wrapped her arms around me. I placed her body on our king sized bed, and I climbed over her, while gazing into her eyes.
“I love you so much Nicolette. You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. I want to love you forever, and worship you with my body.” Nicolette pulled me down to her, and kissed me ferociously, as our teeth collided, and she sucked on my tongue. We have never been so intimate in this way before, and she trusted me with her heart and her body. I knew I had to be careful with her. I slowly began to kiss her neck, and make my way down her body. We had never gone this far when she allowed me to explore her in the past. I vowed to take my time, and be ever so gentle.
I kissed her left breast, and took her nipple into my mouth. She let out a sexy moan, as I cupped the other one. She raked her fingers through my hair, as I continued to suck on her breasts. I pinched one, as I took the other one into my mouth. Nicolette let out a pleasurable scream as I continued to tease her with my mouth.
I told her to let go of her fears, and just feel. She breathed heavily, and smiled back at me. She was absolutely adorable, as she looked into my eyes, and I answered her silent question.
“Yes, baby, that’s exactly what that was.” She laughed, and I continued with my exploration of her body. I kissed her flat stomach, and onto her ribs, licking all of her erogenous zones. I turned her over, and I noticed a tattoo.
I couldn’t believe my girl had marked her beautiful body. Her tattoo was a heart on the top of her hip, and with an inscription written inside of it.
As I stared at it she asked me if I wanted to know what it says and means, and of course I wanted to know. Nicolette said after she left me, and not knowing what would happen with us, she wanted a permanent reminder of me forever marking her body, and replacing the mark Michael had left. My eyes filled with tears, and I truly didn’t know what to think of this. I wanted so desperately to know, but it always came back to Michael.
A Changed Life Page 28
