Nicolette taking me into her arms, and then she kissed me. She was pleading with me to hear her. “Simon, this tattoo represents you and you alone. Please believe that having this tattoo was my way of keeping you close to me when we were apart.” I needed more than ever to know what her tattoo meant. The words inside the heart read: Il mio cuore appartiene a te written in Italian. She cupped my face, and said, “My heart belongs to you.”
We entwined our bodies with one another. I loved Nicolette so much, and I just wanted to show her, as she did for me with her tattoo. I leaned her back, and kissed her tattoo hovering over it with my mouth for a few minutes, she gasped, and moaned. I kissed both sides of her ribs, until I was at her opening and I gently parted her legs, and kissed her in between her folds until she ran her fingers roughly through my hair, and screaming my name. This was for her, and I imagined her loving me with her mouth, but this was her time to be cherished, and I enjoyed every minute I gave her pleasure.
I never broke contact with her until she came again. Her skin glistened with sweat letting my tongue lick her sweet skin. I leaned over to get a condom, and had her place it on me. She was nervous, and I could feel her fingers tremble. I helped guide it down my length, and she relaxed with my hands on hers.
I again parted her legs slowly with mine, as she took in some deep breaths, and I asked her again, “Is this what you want, Nicolette?” She replied, “With all of my heart” I slowly entered her, and carefully looking for any signs of discomfort on her beautiful face. She gripped onto my arms, and guided me in. She squeezed her eyes shut, and that look pierced my heart. I began to pull out of her, and she asked me not to stop, but to keep going.
I pushed through her deeper this time, until she got used to me. After a few times, she seemed to relax, and breathe easier. I picked up the pace, as we molded our bodies with one another, matching breath for breath. I could feel that I was getting close, and judging by Nicolette’s movement, she was getting there as well.
We continued to move our bodies in a steady rhythm, until we both reached our moment, and came together. It was an unbelievable feeling that I have never experienced before in my life.
We held each other until our breathing calmed, and I kissed the top of her forehead, asking her if she was ok. She let out a small grunt, and I told her I needed to actually hear her say the words to me. She glanced over, and said, “I’m perfect.” I removed myself from her body, and noticing her wince a little. I removed the condom, and placed it in the waste basket.
Wrapping my arms around Nicolette, I tucked us in under the duvet cover. I was holding my angel in my arms again. I kissed her, and whispered, “I love you.” She smiled, and drifted into a blissful sleep.
Still wrapped in Simon’s arms, I slowly and gently peeled my body away from his. Nature was calling, and I padded my way to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror taking in all the love bites Simon had left on me. They were beautiful. He was amazing, and I truly felt loved and cherished. I wasn’t afraid anymore when I looked in the mirror at my reflection. The scared and guilt ridden girl was gone, and now was stronger. Her darkness has been replaced with light shining all around her.
I tiptoed out of the bathroom, not wanting to wake Simon. He looked so peaceful while he was sleeping. I put on his shirt that he worn earlier in the day, and it smelled like him…I had missed that so much being away. I didn’t realize what comfort it brought me until I could smell his scent all over me. I was feeling fantastic, and only had some mild soreness. Simon couldn’t have been gentler with me. My stomach was rumbling, and after making love, I was starving. Thank goodness the fridge was stocked with fresh groceries. I had found items to make a salad and I saw that he had marinated chicken. I placed the chicken in the broiler, and prepared the salad. I looked up to see beautiful eyes staring back at me. “Well, hello there,” I smiled at Simon. He walked around the kitchen island, and scooped me up into his arms. I kissed him, and he said when he woke up to a cold side of the bed, he didn’t know if I had left. I held his face in my hands, and swore that I had meant what I said earlier to him. “I am never going to leave you again. Please believe me.” He did, and crashed his lips onto mine. I kept asking him if I was truly forgiven for hurting him, and he told me to never ask him that question again. There was nothing to forgive.
Today was about new beginnings, and we were going to put the past behind us, if only it was that easy to do. We still had to get through a trial with Michael and our lives would be aired out in the media, and both sides fighting. I wasn’t looking forward to the day when I would come face to face with Michael. With Simon by my side, together we could handle anything. I finally had believed what he had been telling me all along.
After making love to Nicolette for the second time, we showered together. We explored each other’s bodies, and lathered one another with body wash. Running my hands down her perfect silhouette felt amazing, she is so beautiful to touch. My girl gave me another hard on when her fingers stroked over my penis. I wanted to take her again up against the shower wall, but didn’t want to push my luck. That’s when Nicolette made a bold move, and pulled me down to her. I lifted her easily, and asked her to wrap her legs around me, her body perfectly aligned with mine.
When I entered her this time, I had pushed deeper, as Nicolette let out her cries of pleasure. I loved it when she ran her fingers through my hair while kissing me. I asked her to open her eyes; I wanted and needed to see her, especially when I made her come. Her pleasure and comfort were my only priority, and I needed assurance she was okay. Nicolette had the power to read my mind as easily as I could read hers. This time my body was guarded with her, until she showed me what I needed to know. Her body pummeled against mine, and Nicolette came, and screamed out my name. I silenced her with my mouth, and I then came too.
I washed her body, and then she did the same for me. I picked her up, and carried her out of the bathroom, and dried her gently with a towel. Nicolette shivered as I ran my hands down her beautiful body. I kissed every inch of her, and promising to love her forever.
Dinner was amazing, and I was stuffed with everything Nicolette had prepared. I was thanking my mom silently for stocking my kitchen. I had planned on going to Switzerland to find Nicolette, and bring her home with me. Thank goodness my mom was aware of Nicolette being home, and took care of everything for us. I made a note to send my mom the biggest bouquet of flowers to thank her for all of her help.
I couldn’t help myself from smiling and fantasizing of the right way to propose to Nicolette. We have promised our commitment to one another, and making love has connected us forever. She has to know a proposal was coming next, but how do I surprise her?
“You haven’t stopped smiling for more than an hour. Your cheeks have to be hurting by now.” I said to Simon. He was relaxing on the couch, when he opened his arms inviting me to join him. “You make me so happy, Nicolette. The thought of you not coming back nearly broke me. I never want to feel the way I did when I watched you walk away, and leave me.” Hearing Simon express how hurt he was after I left pained my heart. He will never know how sorry I am for leaving him. “Simon, were we ever really apart? I know we had many miles that separated us, but you always remained where it counted the most right here in my heart.”
Holding me tightly in his arms, he kissed me and breathed me in. Feeling how my heart beats every time he touches me showed him how much I loved him.
“Baby, you are my heart. No one else resides there but you.”
“I feel the same way about you, Simon. I meant what I said. I fought my demons, and my only focus was returning home to you. Can we truly move past our time apart and start over?”
“Yes baby, I promise. Our new life began together the minute I heard your voice back at school. You are my whole world, and I am never letting you go again. Can I ask you a question, baby?”
“Anything….”
“Can we talk about your time in Switzerland?”
“Yes we ca
n, but not today. Today is about starting over, and loving each other. I just want to focus on us.” I held Simon as tightly as he held me. I buried my face into his warm body, and I was home. We walked our beach, and collected sea shells along the way. The house was filled with unique shells, and beach décor. I picked up some stones that washed ashore, and I even found a sand dollar. It was the size of a quarter, perfect in shape with no chipped edges. I had found a small glass bowl, and filled it with my new collection of shells, and placing the sand dollar in the middle.
Simon and I watched the sun set out onto the ocean. It was a beautiful sight to take in. On the far end of the deck, there was an outdoor fireplace. Simon had started a fire, and we roasted marsh mallows, enjoying many tasty s’mores that he had made. I was so stuffed, that I couldn’t eat one more bite.
We were lying together on the lounger in front of the fire with my head on top of Simon’s chest. He was so relaxed and calm. I was thanking god silently on reuniting me with the man I love. We had survived throughout all of our pain and loss we suffered through.
I looked up at Simon, who was now peacefully asleep. I didn’t want to disturb him. I gently moved from his grasp on me, and I knew what I wanted to do. I looked through my suit case, and found what I was looking for. Only a few people knew that I had always loved to draw. Another thing I have in common with Simon’s Aunt Grace. While I was doing my therapy in Switzerland, I renewed my love for art, and it was very therapeutic for me.
I began to sketch Simon’s beautiful features. He had only moved a bit, but never breaking the image I wanted to capture. I sketched his strong jaw line, concentrating on every feature along his face. I was so happy he stayed asleep. I then began to draw his body, taking in every toned muscle, and defined abs on his stomach. My eyes found his perfect V muscle. His body was exquisite, and it was all mine.
Simon slept so soundly, that I was able to complete several sketches of him before he opened his eyes, and found me looking back at him. He leaned up on his elbows, and asked me what I was up to? I giggled and said, “That’s for me to know, and you to find out.” He took that as a challenge, and leaped off the lounger. He grabbed me, and began to tickle me all over my body. “Simon, stop! I can’t breathe. Ok, I will tell you.” He released me, and waited for me to tell him what I was up to while he was sleeping.
My girl was so cute, and I loved to tease her. The sounds of her giggling made my heart sing. I need to remember to make her laugh often. I grabbed a bottle of water, and sat down beside her. Nicolette pulled out what looked like a sketch pad. I knew she always loved art, but I just never knew she could draw or paint for that matter. She timidly showed me her sketches, and they were amazing, and all of me. My girl was very talented.
“While I was away Simon, I began to incorporate art into my therapy. It helped me a great deal, and when I couldn’t say what I was feeling, I would sketch it out, and it became a daily routine for me. I was so numb when I first arrived at the clinic, and I felt so alone, and isolated from everyone else.”
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you.” Simon held my hand.
“It wasn’t your fault, Simon. At the time, I couldn’t let you help me, and I alone chose this. I had no choice but to accept the responsibility of my leaving. As time passed, I began to feel comfortable, and slowly let some of my guard down.”
“My therapist Lana, she was truly a miracle worker. She was tough and didn’t put up with any of my shit. When I wanted to pack my bag and leave, it was Lana who convinced me to stay with the program. I was there to recover first. I took yoga classes, long hikes, anything I could do to heal my spirit, and then onto my heart. I knew the only thing that could do that was you Simon, I just needed to take care of me first.”
“I understand that better than anyone Nicolette. When you left, I shut down, and tuned the world out. I shut my family out, and our friends. I didn’t know how I could go on until one day Sam pulled my ass out of bed, and we went surfing. I felt alive out there on the ocean, and it was thrilling to feel the board under my feet. When I got back to shore, and I had seen I missed your call, my world shattered again. Can I ask you something baby?”
“Of course you can… anything you want.”
“If I had answered your call, would you have talked to me?” I looked deeply into Simon’s eyes, and I honestly didn’t know how to answer him. “I really don’t know. I had just found out from Bailey that you were chosen to be valedictorian. I was so immensely proud of you, and I wanted to just let you know that.”
“You didn’t leave me a message.”
“No, I did not. I chickened out and hung up. My only comfort was listening to your voice on your message. You never changed the greeting on your phone, and it made me smile.”
“Why Nicolette? Why did you call everyone but me?” I could see the hurt in Simon’s eyes as he questioned me. “I wasn’t ready, and certainly not strong enough. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing by you. If it were a clean break, then you could move on with your life, and eventually forget about me. I knew I caused you so much pain, but this would be the last time. As much as it hurt me to let you go, I convinced myself that I was setting you free.”
Simon searched my face, and took hold of my arms. “Nicolette, don’t you know that you are my whole world? Without you, I couldn’t breathe. I barely survived you walking out on me that night. After you left me, I finally realized that you were the only thing in the world that could truly hurt me. It was because I loved you so much, and I willingly gave you my heart. You are the first girl that I have ever loved, and will ever want to love for the rest of my life.”
We held each other, and cried until we were empty. We needed to get this out. Simon had held his feelings in for so long, and after everything we shared today, he still had this weight on his shoulders. Now that we have openly shared our pain, we vowed not to talk about this again, and laid it to rest. We had walked hand in hand back to our bedroom, and held each other through the night, and never breaking our bond with one another.
If I was dreaming, I didn’t want to wake up. I slowly opened my eyes, and my beautiful sleeping angel was in my arms, and sleeping so peacefully. Nicolette was real and here with me in our home. We talked, and shared so much yesterday. Making love to her was beautiful and amazing. I craved more of her, and wanted to feel her naked on top of me. I ran my fingers up her naked back as she stirred a little, until she opened her eyes, and looked at me.
“Good morning baby, how did you sleep?” I asked her.
“Oh honey, I think you know my answer.” My girl was adorable. “I slept wonderful, and so safe in your arms, thank you for holding me.”
“I’ll hold you for the rest of my life, if you let me Nicolette.” I wasn’t going to wait one more second to ask her, so I leaped off the bed, and told her to stay put. Nicolette giggled again, and oh how I can listen to that sound forever. I grabbed the ring box from my coat pocket, and jumped back into bed with Nicolette. I sat up to face her taking her hand in mine.
“Nicolette, you are my whole world. I love you with every fiber in my soul. From the moment I saw you on the beach, I fell in love. There was something about you that I just felt drawn to. You are beautiful inside and out. When you walk into a room, I have to catch my breath, and slow my heart rate down. I dream of you at night, and you are my first thought that comes to my mind the minute I wake up in the morning.
When I accepted this home, I knew I could only live here if you shared it with me. I want to love you, and take care of you for the rest of my life. One day I want children with you, to know our love will create a son, or daughter for us. Dreaming of that moment brings me to my knees. This is what you do to me. My future is with you, and the life we are going to make together. Please say yes to me today. Be my wife…be mine forever?”
I slowly opened the ring box that was sitting in the palm of his hand. He whispered that this ring had belonged to Aunt Grace. She had always loved rose
s, and she never married, but that didn’t stop her from wearing this beautiful diamond. She had designed a 3 carat diamond placed into a rose shaped setting. The ring looked like a blossoming flower encased in surrounding diamonds. It was the most beautiful and exquisite ring I have ever laid eyes on. Simon held my hand, and placed the ring on my finger. It was a perfect fit.
He kissed the ring, and then asked me again. “Will you marry me Nicolette, and be mine forever?” I couldn’t speak. I just nodded my head, and blinked back tears. Simon held my face in his hands, and said, “Baby, I need to hear the words. I need to hear your beautiful voice say yes.” I let out my breath, and whispered, “Yes” to him.
Simon began kissing me slowly, and removing the sheet away from me. Caressing my naked body, and loving me with his, as we began to make love sealing the commitment we had just promised to each other. “You have made me so happy Nicolette. Always trust that I will love, and protect your heart every day for the rest of my life.”
I always knew this, and I didn’t ever have to question Simon’s love and devotion for me ever again.
Any doubts that I ever had were placed there because of my fear. After what happened to me with Michael, I didn’t want to believe that Simon could love me. I blamed myself, and I hated Michael. I questioned everything in my life, and all I have gone through, until I heard someone’s story being told one day in group. I was listening to Ariel. She had been raped by a family friend over a course of several years, she never told anyone her secret until the night her dad’s friend threatened to have his way with her younger sister.
A Changed Life Page 29
