The Space Opera Megapack: 20 Modern and Classic Science Fiction Tales

by John W. Campbell

  “I don’t know about that, but Belle and I together could swing it, I think.”

  “I’ll say we could,” Belle breathed. “And I simply can’t wait to see you kick Fatso’s teeth in with this one!”

  “I don’t like the word ‘Navy’,” Garlock said. “It’s tied definitely to warfare. How about calling it the ‘Galactic Service’? Applicable to either war or peace. Brass Hats will think of us in terms of war, even though we will actually work for peace. Any objections?”

  There were no objections.

  “About the uniforms,” Lola said, eagerly. “Space-black and star-white, with chromium comets and things on the shoulders.…”

  “To hell with uniforms,” Garlock broke in. “Why do women have to go off the deep end on clothes?”

  “She’s right—you’re wrong, Clee,” James said. “Without a uniform you won’t get off the ground, not even with the Society. And you’ll be talking to Top Planetary Brass. Also, they’re Gunthered plenty—you can feel their Op field clear out here.”

  “Could be,” Garlock conceded. “Okay, you girls dope it out to suit yourselves. But think you can stand it, Belle, to wear more than twelve square inches of clothes?”

  “Wait ’til you see it, chum. I’ve been designing a uniform for myself for positively years.”

  “I can’t wait. And you’re a captain, of course.”

  “Huh? You can’t have two cap.… Oh, I see. Primes. I appreciate that, Clee. Thanks.”

  “Hold on, both of you,” James said. “You haven’t thought this through far enough. Suppose we meet forces already organized? Better start high than low. You’ve got to be top admiral, Clee.”

  “Rocket-oil! Suppose we don’t find anything at all?”

  “You’re right, Jim,” Belle said. “Clee, you talk like a man with a paper nose. It’s you who’s been yowling for two solid years about being ready for anything. We’ve got to do just that.”

  “Correction accepted. Brief me.”

  “Ranks should be different from those of United Worlds. They should be descriptive, but impressive. Tops could be Galactic Admiral. That’s you. Vice Galactic Admiral; me.…”

  “Galactic Vice Admiral would be better,” Lola said.

  “Accepted. Those two we’ll make stick come hell or space-warps. Right?”

  Garlock did not reply immediately. “Up to either one of two points,” he agreed, finally.

  “What points?”

  “War, or being out-Gunthered. Top Gunther takes top place; man, woman, bird, beast, fish, or bug-eyed monster.”

  “Oh.” Belle was staggered for a moment. “No war, of course. As to the other… I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “There are a lot of things none of us has thought of, but as amended I’ll buy it.”

  “Then several Regional Admirals, each with his Regional Vice Admiral. Then System Admirals and Vices, and World or Planetary—naming the planet, you know—Admirals and Vices. Let the various Galaxian Societies take over from there down. How do you like them potatoes, Buster?”

  “Nice. And formal address, intraship, will be Mister and Miss. Jim and Brownie?”

  They liked it. “Where do we fit in?” James asked.

  “Pick your own spots,” Garlock said.

  “If we stick to the Solar System we aren’t so apt to get bumped by Primes. So make me Solar System Admiral and Brownie my Vice.”

  “Okay. How long will it take you, Belle, to materialize those uniforms?”

  “Fifteen seconds longer than it takes the converter to scan us. Lola’s color scheme is right, and I’ve got everything else down to the last curlicue of chrome. Let’s go.”

  They went: and came back into the Main in uniform. Belle had really done a job.

  That of the men, while something on the spectacular side, was more or less conventional, with stiff-visored, screened, heavily-chromed caps; but the women’s! Slippers, overseas caps, shorts and jackets—but what jackets!

  “Well.…” Garlock said, after examining the two girls speechlessly for a good half minute. “It doesn’t look exactly like a spray-on job; but if you ever take a deep breath it’ll split from here to there. Fly off—leave you naked as a jay-bird.”

  “Oh, no. The fabric stretches a little. See? Nothing like a sweater, but a similar effect—perhaps a bit more so.”

  “Quite a bit more so, I’d say. However, since Operators and Primes are automatically stacked like Tennick Towers, I don’t suppose your recruits will be unduly perturbed at, or will squawk too much about, overexposure. Are we finally ready to go down and get to work?”

  “I am,” James said. “How do you want to handle it?”

  “Run a search pattern. Belle and I will center their Op field and check on Ops and Primes. You two probe at will.”

  Around and around the planet, in brief bursts of completely incomprehensible speed, the huge ship darted; the biggest, solidest, yet most elusive and fantastic “flying saucer” ever to visit that world. The tremendous oceans and six great continents were traversed; the icecaps; the frigid, the temperate, and the torrid zones. Wherever she went, powerful and efficient radar scanned and tracked her; wherever she went, excitement seethed.

  “Beta Centauri Five,” Garlock reported, after a few minutes. “Margonia, they call it. Biggest continent and nation named Nargoda. Capital city Margon; Margon Base on coast nearby. Lots of Gunther Firsts. All the real Gunther, though, is clear across the continent. They’re building a starship. Fourteen Ops and two Primes—man and woman. Deggi Delcamp’s a big bruiser, with a God-awful lot of stuff. Ugly as hell, though. He’s a bossy type.”

  “I’m amazed,” James played it straight. “I thought all male Primes would be just like you. Timorous Timmies.”

  “Huh? Oh.…” Garlock was taken slightly aback, but went on quickly, “What do you think of your opposite number, Belle?” He whistled a wolf-call and made hour-glass motions with his hands. “I’d thought of trading you in on a new model, but Fao Talaho is no bargain, either—andnobody’s pushover.”

  “Trade! You tomcat!” Belle’s nostrils flared. “You know what that bleached-blonde tried to do? High-hat me!”

  “I noticed. When we four get down to business, face to face, there should be some interesting by-products.”

  “You chirped it, boss. Primes seem to be such nice people.” James rolled his eyes upward and steepled his hands. “If you’ve got all the dope, no use finishing this search pattern.”

  “Go ahead. Window dressing. The Brass hasn’t any idea of what’s going on, any more than ours did.”

  The search went on until, “This is it,” James reported. “Where? Over Margon Base?”

  “Check. Kick us over there, ten or twelve hundred miles up.”

  “On the way, boss. Looks like your theory is about ready to pick.”

  “It isn’t much of a theory yet; just that cultural and evolutionary patterns should be more or less homogeneous within galaxies. Until it can explain why so many out-galaxies are just alike it doesn’t amount to much. By the way, I’m glad you people insisted on organization and rank and uniforms. The Brass is going to take a certain amount of convincing. Take over, Brownie—this is your dish.”

  “I was afraid of that.”

  The others watched Lola drive her probe—a diamond-clear, razor-sharp bolt of thought that no Gunther First could possibly either wield or stop—down into the innermost private office of that immense and far-flung base. Through Lola’s inner eyes they saw a tall, trim, handsome, fiftyish man in a resplendent uniform of purple and gold; they watched her brush aside that officer’s hard-held mental block.

  “I greet you, Supreme Grand Marshal Entlore, Highest Commander of the Armed Forces of Nargoda. This is the starship Pleiades, of System Sol, Planet Tellus. I am Sol-System Vice-Admiral Lola Montandon. I have with me as guests three of my superior officers of the Galactic Service, including the Galactic Admiral himself. We are making a good-will tour of the Tellus-Type planets of
this region of space. I request permission to land and information as to your landing conventions. The landing pad—bottom—of the Pleiades is flat; sixty feet wide by one hundred twenty feet long. Area loading is approximately eight tons per square foot. Solid, dry ground is perfectly satisfactory. While we land vertically, with little or no shock impact, I prefer not to risk damaging your pavement.”

  They all felt the Marshal’s thoughts race. “Starship! Tellus—Sol, that insignificant Type G dwarf! Interstellar travel a commonplace! A ship that size and weight—an organized, uniformed, functioning Galaxy-wide Navy and they don’t want to damage my pavement! My God!”

  “Good going, Brownie! Kiss her for me, Jim.” Garlock flashed the thought.

  Entlore, realizing that his every thought was being read, pulled himself together. “I admit that I was shocked, Admiral Montandon. But landing—really, I have nothing to do with landings. They are handled by.…”

  “I realize that, sir; but you realize that no underling could possibly authorize my landing. That is why I always start at the top. Besides, I do not like to waste time on officers of much lower rank than my own, and,” Lola allowed a strong tinge of good humor to creep into her thought, “the bigger they are, the less apt they are to pass the well-known buck.”

  “You have had experience, I see,” the Marshal laughed. He did have a sense of humor. “While landing here is forbidden—top secret, you know—would my refusal mean much to you?”

  “Having made satisfactory contact, I introduce you to Galactic Admiral Garlock. Take over, sir, please.”

  Entlore winced, for the probe Garlock used then compared to Lola’s very much as a diamond drill compares to a piece of soft brass pipe.

  “It would mean everything to us,” Garlock assured him. “Our mission is a perfectly friendly one. We will have a friendly visit or none. If you do not care for our friendship, another nation will.”

  “That wouldn’t do, either, of course.” Entlore paused in thought. “It boils down to this: I must either welcome you or destroy you.”

  “You may try.” Garlock grinned in frankly self-satisfied amusement. “However, the best you can do is lithium-hydride fusion missiles in the hundreds-of-megatons range. Firecrackers. Every once in a while a planet has to try a few such things on us before it will believe that we are powerful as well as friendly. Would you like to test our defenses? If so, I will neither take offense nor retaliate.”

  Supreme Grand Marshal Entlore was floored. “Why…er…not at all. I read in your mind.…” He broke off, to quell an invasion into his own private office. “Damn it, keep still!” all four “heard” him yell. “I know they ran a search pattern. I know that, too. I know everythingabout it, I tell you! I’m in full rapport with their Supreme Grand Admiral. There’s only the one ship, they’re friendly, and I’m inviting them to land here on Margon Base. Give that to the press. Say also that entrance restrictions to Margon Base will not be relaxed at present. Grand Marshal Holson and ComOff Flurnoy, stay here and tune in. The rest of you get out and stay out! Throw all reports about any alien vessel or flying saucer or what-have-you into the waste-basket!”

  “Resume command, please, Miss Montandon,” Garlock directed; and withdrew his probe from Entlore’s mind.

  “I thank you, Supreme Grand Marshal Entlore, for your welcome,” Lola sent. “I’m sorry that our visits cause so much disturbance, but I suppose it can’t be helped. Our Gunther blocks are down. Would you and your two assistants like to teleport out here to us, and con us down yourselves?” Lola knew instantly that they could not, and covered deftly for them. “But of course you can’t, without knowing a focus spot here in the Main. Shall I teleport you aboard?”

  ComOff Flurnoy’s face—she was an attractive, nicely-built red-head wearing throat-mike, earphone, and recorder—turned so pale that a faint line of freckles stood out across the bridge of her nose. She very evidently wanted to scream a protest, but would not. Both men, strangely enough, were eager to go. Instantly all three were standing in line on the deep-piled rug of the Main, facing the four Tellurians. Seven bodies came rigidly to attention, seven right hands snapped into two varieties of formal salute. Standing thus, each party studied the other for a couple of seconds.

  There was no doubt at all as to which two of the visitors the two Nargodian men were studying; but neither of them could quite make up his mind as to which of the black-and-white-clad women to study first or most. The red-head’s glance, too, flickered between Belle and Garlock—incredulous envy and equally incredulous admiration lit her eyes.

  “At rest, please, fellow-officers,” Garlock said, and Lola performed the necessary introductions, adding, “We do not, however, use titles aboard ship. Mister and Miss are customary and sufficient.”

  Behind each row of officers a long davenport appeared; between them a table loaded with sandwiches, olives, pickles, relishes, fruits, nuts, soft drinks, cigars, and cigarettes.

  “Help yourselves,” Garlock invited. “We serve neither intoxicants nor drugs, but you should find something there to your taste.”

  “Indeed we shall, and thank you,” Entlore said. “Is there any objection, Mr. Garlock, to Miss Flurnoy transmitting information of this meeting and of this ship to our base?”

  “None whatever. Send as you please, Miss Flurnoy, or as Mr. Entlore directs.”

  “I’m glad I didn’t quite scare myself out of coming up here,” the Communications Officer said. “This is the biggest and nicest thrill I ever had. Such a thrill that I don’t know just where to begin.” She cocked an eyebrow at her commanding officer.

  “As usual. Whatever you think should be sent.” Entlore sent her a steadying thought. Then, as the girl settled back with a sandwich in one hand and a tall glass of ginger-ale in the other, he went on, to Garlock, “She is a very fine and very strong telepath—by our standards, at least.”

  “By galactic standards also.” Garlock had of course been checking. “Accurate, sharp, wide-range, clear-thinking, and fast. Not one of us four could do it any better.”

  “I thank you, Mr. Garlock,” the girl said, with a blush of pleasure—and with scarcely a perceptible pause in her work.

  A tour of the ship followed; and as it progressed, the more confused and dismayed the two Nargodian commanders became.

  “But no crew at all?” Holson demanded incredulously. “How can a thing like this possibly work?”

  “It’s fully Gunthered,” Lola explained. “It works itself. That is, almost all the time. Whenever we land on any planet for the first time, one of us has to control it. Or for any other special job not in its memory banks. When you’re ready for us to land I’ll show you—it’s my turn to work.”

  “Miss Flurnoy, have they cleared the air over Pylon Six?”

  “Yes, sir. Clearance came through five minutes ago. They are holding it clear for us.”

  “Thank you. Miss Montandon, you may land at your convenience.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Lola took the pilot’s chair. “This is the scanner. I pull it over my face and head, so. Since I am always in tune with the field.…”

  “What does that mean?” Entlore asked, dark foreboding in his mind.

  “I was afraid of that. You can’t feel an Operator Field. I’m sorry, sir, but that means you can’t handle these forces and never will be able to. Certain Gunther areas of your brain are inoperative. On our scale you are a Gunther First.…”

  “On ours, I’m an Esper Ten, the highest rating in the world—except for a few theoretical crackpots who.… Excuse me, please, I shouldn’t have said that, in view of what I see happening here.”

  “No offense taken, sir. Those who developed the Gunther Drive were crackpots until they got the first starship out into space. But with this scanner on, I think of where I want to look and I can see it. I then think the ship a few miles sidewise—so—and we are now directly over your Pylon Six. I’m starting down, but I won’t go into free fall.”

  Apparent weight grew le
ss and less, until: “This is about enough for you, Miss Flurnoy?”

  “Just,” the ComOff agreed, with a gulp. “One pound less and I’m afraid I’ll upchuck that lovely lunch I just ate.”

  “We’re going fast enough now. Everyone sitting down? Brace yourselves, please. You’ll be about fifty percent overweight for a while.”

  As bodies settled deeper into cushions Entlore sent Garlock a thought. “We three weigh about five hundred pounds. You lifted us—instantaneously or nearly so, but I’ll pass the question of acceleration for the moment—eleven hundred miles straight up. How did you repeal the Law of Conservation?”

  “We didn’t. We have fusion engines of twenty million horsepower. Our Operator Field, which has a radius of fifteen thousand miles and is charged to an electrogravitic potential of one hundred thousand gunts, stores energy. Its action is not exactly like that of an electrical condenser or of a storage battery, but is more or less analogous to both. Thus, the energy required to lift you three came from the field, but the amount was so small that it did not lower the potential of the field by any measurable amount. Setting this ship down—call it sixty thousand tons for a thousand miles at one gravity—will increase the field’s potential by approximately one-tenth of one gunt. Have you studied paraphysics?”

  “No.”

  “It wasn’t practical, eh?” Garlock smiled. “Then I can’t make even a stab at explaining instantaneous translation to you. I’ll just say that there is no acceleration involved, no time lapse. There is no violation of the Law of Conservation since departure and arrival points are equiGuntherial. But what I am really interested in is that small group of high espers you mentioned.”

  “Yes, I inferred that from Miss Montandon’s comments.” Entlore fell silent and Garlock watched his somber thoughts picture Margon Base and his nation’s capital being attacked and destroyed by a fleet of invincible and invulnerable starships like this Pleiades.