by Lexi Blake
How hard had it been for him to go from soldier to chef? From married to single and happy? He seemed so happy, she’d imagined he never faced a single moment of pain. That was arrogant of her. He was a man, and every single man born had been through pain. She needed to stop thinking of him in terms of how gorgeous he was and see past that.
The trouble was everything she learned about the man made him that much more dangerous.
He was stronger than she was. She couldn’t forgive her ex. She simply couldn’t. The wound felt so fresh. Perhaps after she’d started her own career and moved on, she could forget about the pain he’d dealt her. She wasn’t sure she would ever take that risk again. But maybe she could be friends with Eric. Real friends.
They were stuck together for six weeks. She glanced back down at the contract. Part of the contract stated plainly that both parties agreed to touching and displays of affection. She hadn’t marked that out. She’d agreed to allowing him to touch her if it felt right and good to both parties.
She reached out and put her hand over his. “I’m sorry to hear about your sister.”
He flipped his hand over, lacing their fingers together. His big palm swallowed and warmed hers. “I miss her. You would have liked her.”
Oh, she already liked one of the Vail siblings way too much. His hand wrapped around hers, their fingers all tangled. She liked that too much as well. It felt…right. “I’m sure I would. I don’t have any siblings. I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister.”
He started talking about his family and she couldn’t help but watch the way his face lit up. He always seemed so serious, but there was a mirth, a mischievousness that she hadn’t seen in him before. He told her how he and his sister would fish in the pond behind their house, how she’d had to bait his hook because he couldn’t stand touching the worms.
Deena hadn’t had that childhood connection. Her mother had moved a lot. She’d gone to five different elementary schools and two junior highs. They’d settled in a suburb for her high school tenure, but she never quite quit expecting to have to up and leave.
She loved her friends, but had she been this honest with them? As Eric talked she realized she hadn’t told anyone her story. She talked about innocuous things, about the superficial. She listened. Oh, she was a great listener. She would listen to anyone, with the singular exception of the one man who mattered. She’d withheld that from him the same way she withheld herself from everyone.
She was still the new kid in school, unsure of her place and therefore hiding behind superficiality.
“It must have been nice to grow up in one place. Do your parents still live there?” Now that he was talking, she was curious. This was why she hadn’t asked. She’d known she would be interested, that learning about Eric Vail would be a slippery slope. But he seemed so happy that she couldn’t draw back.
And she had kind of signed a contract stating she might just maybe have sex with him. If they both wanted to. If it came up. Which it probably wouldn’t.
He picked up the pen and signed his name before looking up at her again. He smiled, a look of satisfaction on his face. “Come here. I’ll tell you everything you want to know, but I believe I mentioned that there are no chairs for you here.”
She was supposed to sit in his lap. She’d signed a contract to obey him and part of that was sitting in his lap. All last night she’d thought about how good it had felt to curl up on his lap and not worry about anything.
He held out a hand and she had to make a decision. The night before it had been easy. She’d been warm from the spanking, her whole body relaxed and oddly sated. Now she realized she had to make the conscious choice to submit to this man, to give over to his will. A scary prospect because she didn’t always make good choices.
But this one was already made. She’d made it when she signed the contract.
Deena got up out of her chair and moved to her new Dom. He wouldn’t be hers for long, and that could be the thing that saved her. This relationship had an end date, a clear and precise one. Six weeks. They would only be together for a month and a half. There was some safety in that. She might be able to get Eric Vail out of her system in six weeks, and then she would be free to move on with her life without regretting him.
She sank onto his lap, his arms going around her. He was so big that it wasn’t hard to get comfortable sitting on his lap. It also wasn’t hard to feel that he liked her there. The hard line of his erection jutted against her thigh, but his arms wound around her and he didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that he had a massive boner. He simply leaned back and started talking again.
“My mom and dad moved into town a few years back. They couldn’t keep up so much land. They got a ton of money for it and they’ve been traveling ever since. They went to Iceland this year. Why would anyone go to Iceland?”
“It’s beautiful,” she said. She’d seen it in a movie and it had been stunning. She was a girl who’d rarely been out of Texas. The idea of going somewhere so far away was like a dream to her. For so long, making rent had been her main goal. She’d never even thought about seeing the world. Now she wondered if that might be possible for her. Someday. “They probably wanted to see the northern lights.”
“I think that was one of the items on their itinerary,” he said, but now he was so close to her that he practically whispered the words in her ear, making her shudder, and not in distaste. “I’m sure I’ll get to see pictures the next time I go home.”
Being so close to Eric felt right. His arms were strong and warm around her, and it would be so easy to think for a moment that she was safe.
That would be a mistake.
“Deena, tell me why you went to Taggart today.”
Shit. How the hell did he know about that? Maybe he didn’t actually know anything. Maybe he was fishing. Rumors abounded at Top. The menu might change nightly, but the gossip was a mainstay. “I had to take him his lunch. He wasn’t in the conference room. He’s a weird guy.”
Brazen her way through. It was the only thing to do. Act like nothing was wrong and it wasn’t. She’d learned that a long time ago. As long as she had a smile on her face, people thought there was nothing going on under the surface and she never had to answer those uncomfortable questions.
“Did you read that part in the contract where you’re not supposed to lie to me?” His voice was every bit as quiet as it had been a few moments before, but it had gone an icy cold that sent a chill along her spine. And the slightest bit of heat through her pussy.
She managed to nod. “I did and I talked to Master Ian about the program. That was all.”
His mouth was right against her ear. “Are you sure that’s all you want to say?”
She kind of wanted to see what he would do. Maybe that made her a brat, maybe it made her a bad submissive, but she was so curious. They were testing each other. That was what they were supposed to do, right? Test each other’s boundaries. Get to know each other. She wanted to know how far Master Eric, the good and true knight to all females in trouble, might take this. “Yes, Sir. That’s all I want to say.”
He sat back. “I reserve the right to come back to this subject at a later date. We’ve only got a few minutes before the class is going to start and quite frankly, I would rather not admit that you need punishment on the second night of class. But don’t think I’ll forget.”
Disappointment welled. She’d kind of wanted the connection. It seemed like spanking was the only way she was going to feel connected to this man, but she’d been right about him. He was a softie. That was a good thing because if he didn’t give her what she needed, then she wouldn’t be tempted by him. “What are we talking about tonight, Sir?”
It was best to get everything back on an even keel. He would forget any rumor he heard about her talking to Master Ian and then they could move on. If he kissed her again, she would deal with it. She might take it further or she might not. Whatever she did it would all be okay in the end be
cause she was strong enough to walk away. She graduated from college a week after the training period was over and then she wouldn’t even see him at work anymore because she already had a job lined up.
She looked up at him and he was watching as Masters Alex and Liam had begun to move into place.
“We’re going to have our first class in how to use the equipment,” Eric explained, his voice normal again. She studied the straight line of his jaw as he spoke. “There will likely be some kind of demonstration and then I would very much like to take you out for a cup of coffee and we can talk further.”
So much talking. He seemed to seriously like to talk. How long had it been since she opened up and talked about anything? She rarely even mentioned how her day had gone beyond telling whoever had asked that it was fine. They would talk about the class and maybe he would tell her more about his childhood and how he ended up choosing the Navy and…
She wanted to know everything about him. A hundred questions popped up and she had to face the truth. That timer on their relationship might be the only thing that saved her from falling head over heels for this man. The training period would end and she could always walk away. She’d learned that lesson from childhood. When the going got tough, the tough moved on.
She cuddled against him because this part was nice. “That sounds good, Sir.”
Maybe she would view this whole six weeks as a graduation present to herself. After that, it would be a whole new game and Eric Vail wouldn’t even be a player.
Why did that make her so sad?
She let the thought go and concentrated on the lesson for the evening as Master Alex started to talk about impact play and all the fun toys associated with it. Yes, this was what she needed.
The rest didn’t matter.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Hey, I thought I would find you in here.”
Eric looked up from his brisket and smiled as Kyle Hawthorne strode in. Though he’d only made the decision to join the military a few weeks before, only told his mother last week, he already held himself with more pride than he had before. The young man who had seemed so sullen and withdrawn when he began to work at Top earlier in the year now walked into the kitchen with his shoulders straight, his head held high. “Kyle, you look good. You ready for OCS?”
Officer Candidate School. Unlike Eric, who had enlisted and gone to Great Lakes with the rest of the grunts, Kyle had a degree. It made more sense for him to train to be an officer. It also seemed to Eric to be proof that the kid was serious. He was heading to Newport in the morning.
Kyle grinned. “As ready as I can be.” He sobered a bit. “I went out to the cemetery today. I know no one understands, but I was in that car with him. I have no idea why he died and I didn’t. We were best friends for most of our lives and it doesn’t make sense to me. I got out with a couple of scratches. I have to do something. I have to be better than I was before. My mother doesn’t understand.”
“I’m sure she understands more than you think she does. She’s scared. You’re her baby.” He could remember his own mom crying when she’d found out, begging him to stay safe, while his dad had shaken his hand and told him how proud he was. “She’s never going to be happy with you going off and putting yourself in danger, but she does know you need this. Why else would she be throwing this going away party?”
Kyle shook his head, his mouth turning up in a grin. “First, my mother loves a good party and second, I think she managed to totally piss Sean off. I heard that argument. I couldn’t not hear it. People in Mexico might have heard it. Carys managed to sleep the sleep of the toddler dead, but I heard my mother blame Sean and the whole Taggart family for making this life seem glamorous.”
Eric whistled. “Damn. How did that go over?”
Kyle leaned against the counter. “Have you ever heard a silence that was so loud you almost put your hands over your ears so you could pretend it wasn’t happening?”
Sean had recently lost his brother to “this life.” Eric could imagine Chef hadn’t taken it well. “Are they all right now?”
Kyle nodded. “I think Mom realized what she’d said because they were quiet for a very long time and she was still clinging to him the next morning. Sean is a good man. I hate that I made them fight.”
“We needed it,” a feminine voice said. Grace was standing in the doorway. She wore a pretty emerald dress, her hair around her shoulders. Around her neck was a gold necklace with a heart attached. Eric had never seen her without it. It had taken him a while to figure out that was her collar, the gift from Dom to beloved submissive. “I haven’t been talking to him because I’ve tried to give him space after what happened to Theo and let me tell you, saying what I said definitely got us talking. Sometimes you have to say the wrong things to get to the right outcome. Sean and I are fine, Kyle. And you couldn’t possibly find a better role model than your stepfather and his brothers. I’m sorry you had to hear that, but I’m glad it’s all out in the open and we can move on. Now, you should go out there because your stepdad has a present for you.”
Kyle stopped and kissed his mother on the cheek before leaving the kitchen.
Grace remained behind. “You know you’re supposed to be a guest tonight. I knew I should have fought Sean and had this whole thing catered in. I can’t get you guys out of the kitchen. I’ve already hustled Cal and Mark out of here. They didn’t think there was enough spice in the fondue dip. Macon was fussing with the cake earlier, and I swear Sebastian was crying over my taste in wines.”
He put his hands up in defeat. The brisket was fine. His work here was done. He would have a talk with his line chefs about staying out of the boss’s wife’s appetizers. “Sorry. I’ll get out of the way. I’ll talk to the others.”
Grace stepped in. “No, Eric, I’m the one who’s sorry. About a whole lot of things. I haven’t handled Kyle well. Or Sean. And I’m sure I haven’t been very polite to you since I found out you’re the one who talked Kyle into joining the Navy.”
She’d been on edge. He wouldn’t say she’d been impolite, but she hadn’t been as friendly as she normally was. “Grace, it’s fine. And I wouldn’t say I talked him into it. He needed a place to go and I suggested he think about it. He’s your son. I understand. My mom wasn’t thrilled when I joined up, but I think we’ve all learned that bad things can happen at any moment. We have to hold on to what’s good.”
She nodded, her eyes going misty. “Yes, we have to stop looking at the past and hold on to what we have in the now and what good can come in the future. I’m glad he had someone who could guide him, and I would like to thank you for being so kind to my son.”
“It was my pleasure. Your husband has been a hell of a mentor. There aren’t many people who take a look at this mug of mine and hire me to be second in command, much less let me head up a second restaurant.” In a world where chefs were celebrities, having the face of the restaurant be a scarred up vet wasn’t ideal, but Sean didn’t seem to care. He was making Eric a junior partner, giving him his own Fort Worth franchise of Top.
Eric was going to ask Deena to look over his business plans. He knew Sean had approved, but it might be nice to have a set of fresh eyes. Business was her major after all.
His sub was graduating from more than training class in a few weeks. He meant to give her something to do with her degree.
Grace gave him a hug and when she stepped back, she’d composed herself. “Well, I’m happy you’re going to stay in the family. Don’t think that Sean is being selfless by letting you open a second restaurant. He doesn’t want to lose you and given how talented you are, someone was going to snap you up. Don’t think he doesn’t know about that drink you had with Tim Love three months ago.”
He winced. He hadn’t mentioned that to Chef because it hadn’t meant anything. The culinary world was a small place. Tim was one of DFW’s premiere chefs, but Eric was a loyal man. “It was only a drink, Grace. There was never serious talk about moving.”
“An
d now there won’t be. Go out and have a nice time. I saw Deena and Tiffany sitting and talking to Charlotte. She was giving them tips on how to handle their Doms.”
If anything was guaranteed to give him the chills it was Deena taking advice from Charlotte Taggart. The woman wasn’t averse to shooting people. “Yes, I should definitely handle that.”
“Is everything going all right with you and Deena?” Grace asked before he’d made it out the door.
The last couple of weeks had been fun. Deena had proven to be every bit as curious as she’d told him she was. They’d played around with some bondage the night before. He had the most experience out of the training Doms so he’d been chosen to demonstrate some of the knots he knew. He’d gotten her down to her bra and wound his jute rope around her torso. He’d watched the way she responded, how she’d shivered, her eyes closing when his hands would caress her. She hadn’t been afraid or wary then. She’d relaxed as he’d worked, and she’d seemed almost disappointed when he’d stopped. “It’s going well. We’re taking it slow.”
He was giving her time. It was precisely why he hadn’t punished her for lying to him about her conversation with Big Tag. He hadn’t forgotten, but he was trying to be patient. If they were going to work, they couldn’t run into the relationship without thought. Deena deserved a courtship. They’d had many classes together and after the last three they’d gone to a late night coffee shop and talked until he had to take her home because she had classes in the morning. She was finally talking to him about her childhood and what she wanted for the future. She’d told him about her father and how once he’d decided he was done with her mom, he’d been done with fatherhood, too. It was hard for Eric to imagine not knowing where his father was, but that was the reality Deena had faced at a young age.
