The look on her face told me that I’d gotten my point across.
I just hoped Ransom would never find out what I’d done.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ransom
Lubbock, Texas – November 25th
The sixth-month mark came along, and Aspen and I waited for the ultrasound tech to tell us what sex babies we were having. I couldn’t make out a thing as she ran the instrument over Aspen’s bulging belly. “We’ve got a boy right here,” she said.
Aspen reached out, taking my hand as her eyes glistened. “A boy, Ransom!”
A smile took over my face, and it wouldn’t go away. “I know.”
The tech looked at me with a smile on her face. “And here’s another boy, Mr. Whitaker.”
“Another one?” I felt happier than I had ever felt in my life. “Two boys!”
Aspen let go of my hand to cross her fingers. “Please let there be a girl too.”
“Your wish is my command,” the tech said. “You’ve got a little girl in here too. She’s the smallest of the three. Your little princess and a couple of princes to watch over her.”
Aspen’s face glowed as tears fell freely from her pretty eyes. “We’ve got a girl too!” She grabbed my hand and held it between her full breasts.
I’d never wanted so badly to kiss anyone. My lips twitched, my heart pounded, and I leaned over her. “We’ve got a family, Aspen.” My lips hovered near hers.
I was almost there. About to kiss the mother of my children for the first time. The first time on the mouth anyway.
The door opening after a quick knock had me jerking my head back. Our obstetrician strode in. “What do we have, Jessica?” she asked the tech.
“Two boys and a girl.” The tech printed out a bunch of papers then handed them to our doctor. “There’re the stats on them all. It looks great to me.”
When my eyes scanned back down to Aspen, I saw hers lingering on my lips. She had to have known what I’d been about to do. Her eyes slowly climbed up to meet mine. I could see it in her eyes. Lust.
My cock jerked at the lust I’d found there. It wanted me to get over my fears and just do it already. But knowing how my brain would react once I took Aspen had me keeping my cock at bay.
My heart wasn’t as easy to control as my male member. It ached as I looked away from the woman who was pulling at it. I knew she wanted me. I wasn’t oblivious to her desire.
But she didn’t know what it would do to us if I gave into this thing we had brewing between us. Our kids needed both of us. My innate behavior would have me putting distance between their mother and me. It always had before. Why would I think I would react any differently this time?
After getting dressed, Aspen met me in the waiting room. Her round tummy was adorable. I couldn’t quit looking at it and thinking about the three babies of mine that were inside.
“I am starving,” she said as she walked straight to the door. “Can we stop and get Chinese?”
“Whatever Momma wants, Momma gets.” I hopped up, beating her to the door to open it for her.
I’d earned a smile from her. “You’ve turned into quite the gentleman, Ransom. Your mother would be proud, I’d venture to bet.”
About my newfound gentleman status, she would be. But I doubted she’d be proud of much else.
Lately, my mind had been filled with thoughts about my mother. I often wondered how she could’ve cheated on my father the way she had and then tell him that she loved him.
Were all women brilliant actresses? Or was it just her?
Before my brain could shut it down, my heart went and asked, “What are your views on cheating?”
Stopping in front of the elevator, Aspen looked at me with wide eyes. “I’m against it. Why do you ask?”
I had no idea why I’d asked her that. We weren’t even in a relationship. “Just wondering.” The elevator doors opened, and we stepped inside. Alone in the small area, my heart went and said something else, “My mother cheated on my father, but he never knew about it. No one did. Only me.”
Shock filled her face. “Ransom! Have you always kept that to yourself, or have you told anyone else about this?”
“You’re the first person I’ve ever told.” I shook my head to clear it. “And to be honest, I don’t know why I’ve just told you.”
Aspen quickly folded me into her arms, pulling me close. “Ransom, you poor man.”
At first, I didn’t know what to do. But then she began to sway, and I moved my arms to wrap around her. “It feels good letting someone else know that secret. I’ve kept it since I was a boy.”
“Oh, Lord, Ransom.” She hugged me tighter. “I’m so sorry for you.”
“Why?” I asked her as I had no idea why she would feel sorry for me about such a thing.
She let me go and stepped back as the elevator stopped. “That’s very traumatic. That’s why I feel sorry for you.”
I shrugged as the doors opened then took her hand, leading her out. “Traumatic? Nah.” I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. “And don’t feel sorry for me, Aspen.”
She went silent as we walked out to the car. I knew the wheels were spinning inside of her head, but I didn’t know what about.
Why would she feel sorry for me? Why would she get so quiet? Was this thing a lot worse than I ever let myself believe it was?
I opened the passenger side door of my car for her. “Say something,” I told her as she looked at me with forlorn eyes, filled with sympathy.
Shaking her head, she said, “I won’t say anything until I know what the right thing to say is.”
“Have it your way.” As I closed the door, I began to wonder if I was a shallow person.
Truth be told, I’d never taken time to analyze myself. I liked to stay busy, living life. I didn’t want to do a hell of a lot of thinking. But I wasn’t just me anymore. I was about to have a brood of kids.
And those kids would look up to me. And they might look at me the same way as Aspen if she ever told them that their daddy had been damaged as a boy because he’d witnessed his mother doing things she shouldn’t have been doing.
I got into the car and then turned to look at Aspen. “Do you think I’ve been wrong to keep that bottled up all these years?” Again, I had no idea why I was asking her this. She made me feel vulnerable yet safe. It was so damn odd to me the way she made me feel.
With a nod, she gave me the answer I knew she would.
I didn’t say another word, just drove to the closest Chinese restaurant so she could feed those hungry babies that grew inside of her.
My babies.
Aspen carried my babies, and I’d yet to even kiss her sweet lips. That was feeling more and more like a crime to me.
Me being me, I didn’t talk much as we ate. I didn’t know what to say. I’d let out that colossal bomb, and now I was worried that any topic I raised would have Aspen turn it around to my mother cheating.
So I didn’t say much at all.
The ride home was quiet too. But as we walked inside, I decided to do something to lighten the atmosphere. “I would really like to name one of the boys after my grandfather. What do you think about that idea, Aspen?”
“I love it.” She smiled brightly. “Can I be there when you tell him about that?”
“Better yet, I want you to tell him about that.” I took her hand, taking her to my grandfather’s suite.
He’d been working on his physical therapy like a madman. Walking on the treadmill, he smiled at us as we came into the living area of his suite. “Hey, you two. How’d the ultrasound thing go?”
“Great.” I ran my hand over Aspen’s belly. “All three of them are looking good, Grandad.” Then I bumped Aspen’s shoulder with mine. “She’s got something to tell you.”
Grandad got off the treadmill, wiping his face with a towel he’d had hung over the front of the machine. “What do you have to tell me, little momma?”
“We’ve got two boys and one girl!
” Aspen said. “We’d like to name one of the boys after you if you’re okay with that, Lucius.”
The way he looked at her made my heart melt. He reached out, taking her by the shoulders then pulled her in for a hug. “Excuse the perspiration, sweetheart, but I’ve gotta get a hug in. You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been, little momma. I love that you want to name one of your sons after me. And I love you, Aspen Dell. You’re an angel sent to us straight from Heaven above.”
At first, I thought I’d heard him wrong.
Did he say I love you?
But then Aspen responded, “Oh, Lucius, I love you too. And for the record, it was Ransom who came up with the idea to name one of them after you. I wholeheartedly agreed, of course. But his was the mind who came up with that.” She stepped back as he let her out of his arms.
My grandfather looked at me with a stoic expression. “Your idea, huh?”
All I could manage was a shrug. “Yeah.”
He took two steps toward me. Then his hands were on my shoulders, and the oddest thing happened. He hugged me. “Ransom, you’re doing it, son. You’re growing those roots I desperately wanted you to. I love you, boy.”
Oh, hell!
Patting his back, I looked at Aspen who beamed at me. She mouthed, “Say it back to him.”
I had to close my eyes, so I wouldn’t see her and do what she’d said to. Then those three words came up from somewhere deep inside of me. I tried to hold them back, but my mouth opened, and they bubbled out, “I love you too, Grandad.”
Along with the words I hadn’t uttered since childhood came a burning sensation at the back of my eyes.
Fuck me!
Now I was crying too. It was horrible.
Pulling myself away from him, I hurried to the leave the room. “I’ve gotta go.”
I didn’t run, but I walked as fast as I could down the hallway. Then I kept on going. I went outside. Then I walked down the long drive before getting to the road, which I walked down too.
I didn’t know where I was going, but I was walking and couldn’t seem to stop.
Until the sound of a car horn came from behind me. I stepped off to the side of the road and signaled for the car to go around me. But the next thing I knew there was a hand grasping at my arm. “Ransom, what are you doing?” Aspen asked.
I didn’t even think about what I did next. I just did it.
I spun around and took her into my arms. My heart was pounding even harder than it had been. “You’re getting too close, Aspen. You’re going to get hurt.”
“I don’t care.” She ran her hand over my cheek so softly, it felt like a feather. “I love you, Ransom Whitaker.”
Fuck me!
Chapter Twenty-Four
Aspen
Lubbock, Texas – December 1st
My admission of love just kind of sat there. I thought I could see love in Ransom’s blue eyes as he held me on the side of the road. But nothing came out of his mouth. And I decided that was okay. He needed time.
I wasn’t going anywhere anyway.
A decorator had been hired to make the nursery for our babies who weren’t too far away from coming into the world and then into our home. “Since there are boys and a girl, I think yellow would work great,” he told us.
Ransom seemed distracted as he mumbled, “Sounds fine to me.”
“I want our daughter to have a few pink things. I don’t want everything unisex.” I put down two swatches of material, one pale pink and one baby blue on the dresser in the large room. “I’m thinking we do stripes of each color on the far wall, then two walls in blue and one in pink.”
“Oh, honey, no,” Franco, the decorator denied me.
I looked to Ransom for some support. “Ransom, what do you think?”
“Huh?” He turned away from the window he’d been staring out to offer some vague attention to me.
I pointed at the fabric. “Do you like the idea of using pink and blue in here?”
Shoving his hands into his pockets, he hunched over a bit. “I don’t really care. Just let Franco do what he does.”
I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from going off the handle. “This is our babies’ room. This is our decision to make, Ransom.”
“But I don’t care to.” He looked at the bedroom door which stood open. “Frankly, I’d like to get out of here.”
“Just go then.” I was furious.
I knew I should’ve expected him to grow a little distant after my admission of love for him since he had some huge hang-ups about women, but I hadn’t thought he’d get this distant.
Franco and I watched Ransom leave then Franco looked at me. “Oh, honey,” that was all he said.
I didn’t have to ask what he’d meant by that. I knew he felt some deep compassion for me. “Can’t we find some middle ground, Franco?”
“I don’t know. He looks like he’s out,” he commented.
“I wasn’t talking about him and me. I was talking about you and me.” I huffed then sat in the rocking chair by the window.
Ransom had the unique ability to be there for me during the hardest times with the pregnancy. And then he had the ability to shut me out so completely at other times.
Franco took the rocker opposite from me. “So, what’s the deal with you two?”
“He needed to have a baby so that he wouldn’t lose his inheritance. I needed money to pay for my last semester of college. He got what he needed, and so did I.” I rocked slowly as I tried to calm myself down.
“So, you’re in college?” Franco asked. “What’s your major?”
“Petroleum engineering.” I thought about his question. “And at the present, I’m not in any classes. I put them off when his grandfather got really sick, and we had to be in Houston. And then I put off going back to school for a while longer so I could be here for the babies.”
With a whistle he let me know he thought I was in deep. “Girl, he derailed your ass.”
Biting my lower lip, I nodded. “Yes, he did.” As I sat there thinking, I thought about why I’d let myself get derailed in the first place. “But I’m not mad about that. You see, I didn’t have any family. I’ve felt alone since my father died. With Ransom and then his grandfather, I began to feel like part of a family again. Then the triplets came to be, and I really started feeling whole again.”
“But what about you and Ransom?” Franco asked. “Are you two, you know, hitting the sheets together?”
“No.” I felt one of the babies kick. Hard. “Oh!”
Franco jumped up. “I saw that from here. Wow, what a little kicker.” He put his hand over my stomach then looked at me. “May I?”
He would’ve been the first person, other than myself, to feel one of the babies kicking. I’d given Ransom several opportunities, but he’d passed them up. “Sure.”
Franco put his hand on my stomach right where he’d seen it move. “This fabric is so soft, girl. What is it?” he asked.
“Heck if I know. Ransom bought this dress for me at the Maternity Barn, I think.” I gasped as one of the babies gave me a hard kick.
Franco’s dark eyes went wide. “Hell, girl!”
“I know.” I saw movement near the door and turned my head to see Ransom standing there.
“What’s going on here?” He made long strides into the room. “Get your hand off her.”
Franco laughed as he moved his hand away from my stomach and stepped over to the dresser to look at other color samples. “No need to be jealous, Daddy.”
I looked at Ransom with anger in my eyes. “I’ve asked you to feel the babies kick several times now. You haven’t been interested in doing that.”
His expression turned to that of accusation. “You asked him to touch you?”
“No.” I couldn’t believe he was acting so mad and jealous.
He didn’t want me. Or wouldn’t allow himself to give in, anyway.
Getting up, I walked out of the room. I didn’t want to engage in anything wi
th Ransom at that moment. Anger was bubbling inside of me, and I knew I would say things that might be hurtful.
But the foolish man came after me. Even grabbing me by my arm to stop me in the hallway. “Are all women like this, Aspen?”
“Like what?” I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Don’t play dumb with me,” he growled.
Exasperation took me over, and I jerked my arm out of his hand. “Let me go.” Quickly, I turned to go to my bedroom.
And for the first time ever, he stopped me from closing the door. With his hand on the door, he held it fast. “Answer me.”
“I have no idea what you’re asking, Ransom.” With a huff, I went to sit on the edge of the bed. My ankles and feet had swollen as I’d been standing up too long.
I scooted back on the bed to put them up. And he came to the side of the bed to help me. Fluffing the pillows, he growled once more, “Are all women out to seek the attention of any man who will give it to them?”
Franco came to the door that Ransom had left open. “FYI. I am gay, Ransom. You have nothing to worry about.”
Ransom didn’t even look back at Franco who’d taken off already. “That doesn’t matter to me. Please, Aspen. Answer my question. And please answer me honestly. Do all women want as many men as they can get?”
“I don’t know about all women, but not me.” Calmness enveloped me as I now understood what he was getting at. “Everyone is not your mother, Ransom. I don’t know why she did what you alone saw her do, but I can tell you that she didn’t do it to hurt you, and it doesn’t sound like she did it to hurt your father either.”
His shoulders slumped as he looked at the floor. “Then why did she do it, Aspen?”
As if I could even tell him.
Even if I had met the woman, how would I know why she did the things she’d done? “Ransom, you should talk to a therapist about this. I don’t have the answers you need.”
“I don’t like to think about this.” He turned to walk away but stopped. His back still to me, he asked, “Do you want me to rub your feet? I noticed that they’re swollen a little.”
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