“I can’t.” Weariness ran through Papa’s deep voice as he settled into a chair opposite her. “We are not of the same social class, Louisa. You know that. I shan’t insult your intelligence by trying to explain. You are much more acute than I realized.”
Louisa’s heart gave a strange, unnatural beat. Papa was still talking to her as though she were an adult, and not a silly child. This was both terrifying and exhilarating. Being treated like an adult made her think like one, too. She could no longer retreat into pettishness or have a good sulk if Papa disagreed with her. No, now she must make a reasonable argument in favor of a woman who, just a day ago, was repugnant to her.
Why should she persuade Papa to marry that woman? It really was none of her business.
She gazed at the firelight, which danced in the hearth. Papa wanted her to be wed. It was her duty, so her family said, to marry well. And yet if she did so, she would be leaving him alone. Only the servants would be there to take care of him as he grew older. That was the thought that kept eating away at her heart—she recognized it in a flash as it came to her mind.
I don’t want Papa to be alone.
“Papa, there has been much talk in this house about marriage lately,” she began tentatively. How could she begin to articulate what was just taking shape in her mind? “You want me to marry. It’s expected of me. But I cannot, in good conscience, marry and leave you alone. If you will not marry Madame Catalogna, then I must remain a spinster.”
“Now, miss, if you think you can pull the wool over my eyes…” Papa began, wagging a finger at her in warning.
“I’m not.” Some of the depth of feeling she was experiencing must have come through in her voice, for Papa fell silent and grew still. “It’s just—oh, bother, Papa! I can’t leave you alone! Not when you’ve worked so hard to take care of us all these years. I love you and it saddens me to think of you being all by yourself. I admit, when I first saw Madame, I was furious. I talked to her, though, and she seemed so very---nice.” It was an inadequate word, but the only one she could think of at the moment. “She’s lovely and talented and would keep you amused and would take care of you. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she adores you.”
Papa’s expression softened. “Do you think so, child?”
“I know so, Papa.” Conviction sang through her, stiffening her spine. “You’ve been so good to us all these years. You even hired Sophie as our private seamstress. You gave us Lucy, the best governess in the world. You allowed us to grow up in Bath, even though it must remind you of Mama every day. You’ve been a wonderful father, you know. I can’t leave you to grow old alone.”
“I’m not that old,” he reminded her. “In some circles, I am still considered quite a catch. So don’t place me in my dotage just yet, LouLou.”
Louisa smiled at Papa. At least he was listening to her still.
“I shall persevere in getting you settled before I ever turn my mind to a London Season,” she remarked, giving him a playful smile. Better to quit while she was ahead. She would have time, in the coming months, to change Papa’s mind.
This was the first time in her recollection that she let a matter drop before charging ahead, heedless of the consequences.
Surely that was a mark of maturity. No doubt Lucy would approve.
~*~
Thomas paused outside Louisa’s classroom door. He could just make out her voice as she murmured to a group of her students gathered around her desk.
Why was he here? He had, in fact, sought Louisa out far too often for a man determined to forget her. Yet, her presence had such an invigorating effect on his nerves. If he was going to see his man of affairs and try to find out more about this building his brother purchased, who better to tag along than Louisa? She was intelligent, sensitive, and, moreover, she was intimately involved with the Veterans’ Group. Having her come with him was an excellent way to get started toward providing shelter for those families over the winter.
Louisa rose from her place, ringing a small brass bell. “You are dismissed, children. Have a lovely afternoon.”
The students closed their wooden desks carefully, then filed out of the classroom in an orderly fashion. Several of the older girls and boys cast wise, knowing looks at him as they passed by. Teacher’s beau, their expressions read.
Well, what of it? He was in love with Louisa. So much in love with her that he sought her opinion and her companionship, so much in love that he knew he must let her go.
“Thomas! What a nice surprise.” Louisa tugged on her shawl as she stepped over the threshold. “Are you here to work with Captain Cantrill?”
“Well, I come on Veterans’ Group business. Are you going home? Do you have a previous engagement?” Already he was chattering on like an inane schoolboy.
“I was going home, but not for any particular reason. Why?” She tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow, a gesture at once completely startling and intimately familiar.
“I want your help, if you don’t mind.” He began steering her toward the doors, again, something that he had become accustomed to doing over the past few days, but action that always took his breath away. He was walking with her. She was beside him. They were heading toward a pair of open doors, and what promise that brought, what a feeling of opportunity and of change. “My brother bought a building shortly before he passed away, and I think it might work as a place for these veterans’ families to live. Would you come with me to see my man of affairs?”
She gave his arm a squeeze, a gesture that caused heat to rush to his face. “I should like nothing better, Thomas! Let’s hurry.” She quickened her pace as they headed towards the doors.
Amazing how everything with Louisa seemed bright with possibility and promise. She was absolutely the right partner in this venture.
Chapter 9
Louisa peered up at the austere stone façade of the building, so typical of any building in Bath, and her heart skipped a beat. This wonderful place was Thomas’, and he was going to give it to the veterans who needed shelter for the winter. Any other young man of their class would have seen the building as an opportunity to make money, but Thomas saw it as an opportunity to help others.
Dear Thomas. What a good man he was.
She glanced over at him as he strode along the pavement, pointing out one of the windows to his man of affairs. “That one there will need to be repaired,” he called, over the rising wind. “As you can see, the trim around that window must be replaced. Broken as it is, insects will get in during the summer, and cold air will seep in during the winter.”
He turned to her and grinned, his face lighting up with glee. She caught her breath. This was the first time Thomas appeared happy. Most of the time, he was quiet, somber, gentle, and kind. Now, he was like one of the schoolboys she taught. If there had been snow on the ground, he would have tossed a snowball. He was carefree and happy.
Amazing what happened when a person had a purpose in life. It could change your whole perspective.
Why, then, did they have to give up their life purposes simply to get married?
More to the point, why did marriage have to kill off one’s intention for one’s life? Surely the two could exist in tandem.
It made no sense. None of it made any sense.
Thomas strode over to her, rubbing his hands together. “Shall we go inside?”
Louisa tucked her arm in his. “Of course. I am dying to see the interior.”
He led her up the shallow stone steps, into the front hallway. A sturdy staircase led to the upper floors. The rooms were empty, but even so, they were so well-built that she could see the potential in them. If Sophie had a hand in furnishing them, making curtains and so forth, why, these little apartments could be quite lovely. If only she were as talented with her needle as her former seamstress. Louisa could do handiwork, but only very slowly and—at least when she was younger—with much rebellion. Now she saw the purpose in it. Creating beauty with a scrap of fabric, using th
ings that the people of her class would simply cast away, what a wonderful use of one’s time and one’s talents.
“Thomas, it’s simply perfect,” she said as she slowly spun around. “Are you quite sure your mother will allow the Veterans’ Group to use it for our purpose?”
He shrugged. “She doesn’t have much of a say in the matter. Since I am the head of the family now, it’s my decision to make.” He smiled wryly. “Well, let me say that differently. I am certain Mother will have something to say about it, but the only benefit to being the head of the family is that I now have the wherewithal to make my own choices.”
His own choices? Louisa paused a moment to consider this miraculous phrase. So, a young man of healthy means had the ability to do anything he wanted with an old building, even if he chose to give it away in an act of philanthropy?
Was this freedom the result of being a man? Did Thomas have more liberty than she had simply because he was male?
Or was it that Thomas was beginning to catch on to a concept that she herself had slowly been formulating and which was just now coming to light—that perhaps, despite any pressure from society about what should be done, or familial pressure about how one should conduct one’s affairs—that perhaps one could simply decide to forge one’s own path.
“Is everything all right, Louisa? You look quite pensive.” Thomas took a few steps forward, his brows drawing together. “I mean, I value my mother’s opinion and all that. I didn’t mean to sound rude, as though I didn’t care.”
“No, it’s not that.” Should she tell him what she’d been thinking? Or should she keep it to herself, since the idea had not properly come together in her mind just yet? It was a valuable concept indeed, and she wanted to make sure she gave it all the thought and consideration it merited.
On the other hand, perhaps talking the matter over with someone so intelligent and thoughtful could help her round out the idea as it took shape in her mind.
“Thomas.” She took his arm in a gesture that, over the course of the past several days, had become all too familiar to her—and yet it didn’t fail to send a tingle coursing through her, a sensation that was becoming too frequent to ignore. “Shall I tell you something? I’ve been mulling it over in my mind, and I think that you can, perhaps, understand what I am thinking.”
“Of course.” He began to guide her through the empty house, perhaps intuiting that a good walk often cleared one’s thoughts, or put them into sharper perspective.
“What you just said makes so much sense to me. I’ve been pondering the matter for several days now, and I don’t see why we shouldn’t all be able to do just as we want with the gifts we’ve been given.”
Their footsteps echoed over the wooden floor, strangely echoing the beat of her heart.
“What do you mean?” Thomas shrugged. “I don’t think I have any particular talent.”
“Of course you do.” That was his lack of sureness coming up again. She turned to him suddenly, grasping her hands in his. It was so important that he understand what a good person he truly was. “You are giving this apartment away to poor men and their families. Have you any idea what a grand gesture that is? Why, any other young man of means would find a way to make money from it.”
“We have too much money as it is.” Thomas smiled wryly. “I think we should share some of our luxuries.”
“That’s just it! You made the choice to share, because it’s what you care about.” His hands tightened on hers, and she realized that she was, in fact, still facing him, still holding his hands. A proper young lady would never have reached out to him in the first place. “You have made that choice because philanthropy is your bent, and you are following your heart.”
“Yes, I suppose that’s so.” Thomas nodded thoughtfully. “So what part of your theory is still in need of more consideration?”
“Well.” This part was rather embarrassing, because, after all, it dealt with marriage. What if she were able to marry a young man but still continue her work at the Veterans’ Group, just as Lucy and Sophie had done? Suppose she, like Thomas, simply followed her heart? But to say that to a young man like Thomas—well, to admit to Thomas that she liked the idea of marriage now—well, he might see right through her and—
Oh dear. Louisa’s cheeks grew alarmingly hot and she snatched her hands away from Thomas’s grasp.
Oh dear, indeed.
He might see the truth.
She had fallen in love with him.
~*~
Thomas could not turn away from Louisa, as her cheeks grew even more becomingly pink. His man of affairs was surely somewhere about, and he really should check in with him before much longer. After all, there was a great deal of planning to be done.
On the other hand, she was obviously struggling with something of tremendous import, something that somehow seemed connected to him. He must stand still. He dropped his hands, which had been holding hers and were now empty and bereft of her touch.
She heaved a deep breath, and as she did so, her expression changed. It was almost as if she had shut some inner door. The beautiful confusion she’d displayed just seconds before faded, and he was faced with the Louisa he had come to know and love over these past few days. She was charming and funny and disarming, but he would not be learning any more about her, not now. That moment had passed.
“I’ll ponder it at length and talk to you about it later,” she pronounced, lifting her chin.
“Well, see that you do so.” He struggled to match the lightness of her tone, when it felt quite like the wind had been knocked out of his sails. “As a clandestine society of two, I do depend on you to tell me when you have thoughts of great importance.”
She smiled tightly, and a flicker of light danced in her eyes. No indeed, he would not be learning anymore about Louisa today.
The front door banged shut behind him, and Louisa jumped.
“Well, sir? What do you think of the property?” His man of affairs strode into the vestibule, his boots ringing out on the bare wooden floor. “I should say that it will fetch a pretty penny if you divide it into flats and rent them out.”
“I agree that dividing it into flats is the best way to make use of the property. But I wish to allow several families to live here free of charge.” Thomas nodded respectfully at Mr. Brown. He hadn’t really told his man of affairs about his plan, because until he saw the building with his own eyes, he wasn’t sure that he would be able to actually make up his mind about it. Now he was here, and Louisa supported his decision, and this was the right thing to do.
“Live here? Without paying rent?” Mr. Brown took a step backward, shaking his head. “I don’t think that’s a very sound idea, Mr. Wright. With all due respect, the neighbors won’t really stand for a lot of indigents living next door.”
Thomas barely had a moment to process Mr. Brown’s words when Louisa exploded beside him. “They aren’t indigents! How dare you, sir. They are veterans, men who have fought for our king and our country. They are family men, and they need a helping hand.” She rounded on Mr. Brown in a fury. “I should think any neighborhood would be happy to have such men living nearby.”
Mr. Brown looked absolutely taken aback. He sputtered and coughed, slowly backing away from Louisa. “I beg your pardon,” he finally managed. “I had no idea.”
It would be tempting to see how much further Louisa planned to upbraid Mr. Brown, but all the same, Thomas felt a twinge of pity for the old fellow. “I hadn’t told you my plan for this building because I was in the process of working it out for myself,” he admitted, placing a placating hand on Louisa’s arm. “I wanted to see the building for myself, to judge if it’s the kind of place I can easily divide into apartments. I also wanted to make certain it was in excellent repair. Of course, it is. Jacob wouldn’t have stood for anything less.”
Mr. Brown nodded, eyeing Thomas with something like mortification mixed with relief. “Just as you say, sir. I meant no offense. But you should know that u
sing the building in that manner is highly unusual.”
Thomas shrugged. What his man of affairs said was quite true. After all, he himself had some trepidation about using the building for the Veterans’ Group. It was Brown’s job to explain these matters to him, to advise on how best to use the resources he had been given, and to maintain his family’s vast wealth. He could not fault Brown for speaking frankly.
Louisa, on the other hand, clearly did. He had stemmed the flow of her heated words by placing his hand on her arm, but the color in her cheeks was high again, and her eyes were sparkling dangerously.
“Well, Mr. Brown, I thank you for showing the building to me on such short notice. I also appreciate your honesty.” Thomas tucked Louisa’s hand in the crook of his arm. “I have made my decision. I shall give these apartments to several families in the Veterans’ Group, families that are without adequate resources. The sooner we can make this happen, the better.”
Mr. Brown sighed. “Yes, sir. I shall draw up the necessary paperwork and deliver it to you. I should have it ready for you on the morrow.”
“Don’t deliver it to me. Take all the papers to Captain Cantrill. He runs the Veterans’ Group out of St. Swithins’.” Thomas guided Louisa past his man of affairs and out the front door. “If you need my signature, though, I should be happy to sign anything you require.”
“As long as the building is still under your ownership, I see no need to have you sign anything. I will deliver the papers to Captain Cantrill, then.” Brown followed them out the door and locked it. “Would you like the key? I have another that I can give to the Captain.”
“Yes, thank you.” Thomas accepted the key and dropped it into his jacket pocket. Then he steered Louisa down the pavement. When they were a safe distance away, he finally trusted himself to speak. “You were brilliant, Louisa.”
“I was?” She looked up at him, her eyebrows raised. “I thought for certain I had mortified you beyond anything.”
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