“No, not at all. What you said was entirely correct. I don’t think the old fellow meant to be hateful, but he was, was he not?” Thomas sidestepped to avoid another couple. “It was rather a letdown to hear his assessment of the matter. But then, what you said earlier made so much sense to me. Everything we do is a choice. If I follow what everyone expects me to do with this building, with my inheritance, with my family’s resources, then I can sail along smoothly without causing myself—or anyone else—too much trouble.” He paused, taking in the magnificent sight of a shower of autumn leaves against the stone walls of a garden. “I don’t want to glide through life. If this was the lot I was given, if I am to be the head of the family, though I lack the charisma and the intelligence for it, then I want to make a difference in the lives of others.”
Louisa broke away from his hold to applaud. “Bravo. Very well said.”
Her words heartened him more than he cared to admit. Her good opinion meant more than Society’s stamp of approval. If Louisa felt he was doing right, then he would continue.
“Applause!” A familiar voice spoke up behind Thomas. He and Louisa whirled around, coming face to face with Captain Cantrill and a pretty blonde young woman. “I say, does this mean you’ve found the housing we so desperately need?”
“Sophie!” Louisa folded the blonde into her embrace. “It’s been far too long. I don’t see you nearly enough, even though I teach at St. Swithin’s.”
Captain Cantrill nodded at Thomas. “Mr. Wright, may I present my wife, Mrs. Cantrill. She was Miss Bradbury’s personal seamstress before we wed.”
Sophie Cantrill broke away from Louisa’s hold long enough that the social niceties could be performed. Thomas watched as Louisa stepped a few paces away, holding on to Sophie as she would a beloved sister. They were quite close, that much was certain. For that reason, he was glad that he had found the right accommodations. If he impressed the Cantrills, they would speak well of him to Louisa.
Louisa’s good opinion was all he seemed to seek nowadays.
“Captain, I have excellent news.” While Sophie Cantrill and Louisa spoke amongst themselves, he could take the time to tell the Captain that he had mastered the task given to him. “I’ve found excellent accommodations for the men and their families, within my own holdings, no less.” He briefly described the apartments. “My man will bring by the papers to you tomorrow. We can begin making the necessary arrangements as soon as we choose.”
“Excellent.” Captain Cantrill slapped him heartily on the shoulder. “I knew you were the right man for the job. We’ll start without delay. I cannot wait to get these men and their loved ones properly situated before much longer.”
The Captain’s words meant a great deal. He had never been chosen as the right man for any job before. Always, he had fallen into things by accident. It was gratifying and heartening to hear that he was sought out and given a job that would change the lives of many hardworking men. “Thank you, sir.”
Sophie turned to her husband. “Charlie, I must walk Louisa home. I’ve been meaning to have a good chin-wag with her, and now’s as good a time as any.” She cast a charming smile at her husband, and nodded at Thomas. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Louisa was looking studiously at the ground, her previous fire quenched. She refused to meet his gaze. His heart jumped in his chest. Was everything all right? Whether it was or not, he couldn’t ask. In fact, there was nothing to do but nod respectfully. “As a matter of fact, I can take Captain Cantrill over to the building now, if he has time.”
“I do.” If Cantrill was ruffled by the sudden change of plans, he didn’t show it. In fact, everyone else seemed to be quite unshaken. Louisa was quiet and withdrawn, but she wasn’t visibly upset. “Come along, Wright. Let’s leave these two women to their chin-wag.”
Thomas turned to follow the captain, a sense of disquiet suffusing him. As he turned, he caught a glimpse of Louisa. She was looking at him, biting her lip in a distracted fashion. Then, Sophie caught Louisa’s shoulder, and arm and arm, the two walked away.
Louisa wasn’t walking out of his life. Was she?
Chapter 10
“This is famous!” Sophie crowed, arranging her skirts gracefully as she sank onto the settee. “Thomas Wright is a fine young man from a wealthy family. I vow, both you and your sister did quite well on the marriage mart—and without having to set one slipper in London!”
Louisa sighed. Ever since she’d met Sophie on the street just a few minutes ago, her former seamstress had been triumphantly planning her wedding. Now, as she waited for Lucy to join them for tea, she wished heartily that her dilemma wasn’t quite so apparent. She hadn’t even really worked it out for herself yet. Sophie had discerned it, though, from the moment she’d seen Louisa.
There was a discreet knock at the door, and a servant ushered Lucy in to Louisa’s sitting room.
Louisa smiled at her former governess. The very atmosphere of the room calmed the moment she opened the door. Even Sophie, giddy and irrepressible as always, had stopped her cheerful clapping and giggling. Lucy would know what to do, even if everyone else was all at sea.
“To what or whom do I owe the pleasure of this invitation?” Lucy kissed Louisa on the cheek and then got down to the practical business of removing her shawl. “Not that I am displeased at being summoned here for tea with two of the people I love best in this world. What an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon.”
“I am sorry I was unable to teach today,” Louisa began. She did owe it to Lucy to explain her absence, at least. “I was helping a friend, and I am afraid it took longer than I thought it would. Were you able to get additional help?”
“Of course.” Lucy cast her a warm, fond glance. “You are entitled to a day of respite every now and then, Louisa. Surely you know that.”
“Oh, this is all profoundly boring. Who cares about work at a time like this? Lucy, our little Louisa has fallen in love! I knew it the moment I saw her today in the street.” Sophie busied herself with pouring the tea, making a great noise and clatter with the china cups until she had served everyone.
“Fallen in love?” Lucy’s look turned quizzical as she accepted the cup from Sophie. “Are you certain? With whom?”
Sophie cut her off before she could respond. “Thomas Wright. Can you imagine? A most suitable match, indeed.”
Lucy eyed Louisa over the rim of her cup. “Is this true?”
Louisa nodded. If she spoke, Sophie might interrupt again, and honestly, she couldn’t trust her own voice right now. Part of her wanted to run to Lucy and throw herself into her arms as Sophie smoothed her curls, just as they used to do when she was a child. It all seemed so overwhelming and frightening and yet joyful—rather like standing at the edge of the moor, and feeling the wind rush up from the valley.
“I see.” Lucy took a careful sip of her tea. “I wonder how you feel now, Louisa, about staying on with the Veterans’ Group and going to London later? Have you quite changed your mind?”
“I’d rather not go to London.” Louisa took her cup from the table with hands that trembled. Surely she wasn’t going to go all to pieces anyway. She, who had been so proud of being treated like an adult by Papa so recently.
“And the Veterans’ Group?” Lucy’s voice was quiet and even.
All at once, the depth of her feelings for Thomas, her disappointment in her father, and the uncertainty of her future hit her with the force of a blow. Louisa dropped her teacup, which landed on the floor with a little crash and splintered into pieces. Tea oozed out over the bare wooden floor, and Louisa burst into tears. What an everlasting horror—she would never live this moment of weakness down.
“There, there.” Lucy closed the distance between them and gathered Louisa close. Sniffling and hiccupping, Louisa buried her face in Lucy’s shoulder. Her governess smelled of orange blossom and wool, two scents that always reminded her of her cheerful, carefree days in the school-room. Sophie drew over beside them, gently patting
Louisa’s back.
She must gain mastery over her emotions. She simply must. At the same time, what a luxury it was to finally give way to tears, when she had squelched the desire to cry so often in the past few days.
With a final sniff, Louisa set herself away from Sophie and Lucy. “It’s so dreadful, this business of falling in love,” she admitted.
Lucy and Sophie chuckled. “I would have to say, there was one point in my life when I would have agreed with you,” Lucy said, smiling.
“I would have too. Of course, things have worked themselves out for us, and they will for you too.” Sophie reached over and smoothed Louisa’s hair. “Why do you feel so awful?”
“So many reasons.” She was beginning to formulate an idea, that if perhaps Thomas could devote himself to philanthropy even though it wasn’t fashionable, perhaps she could too. That, perhaps, they could wed, if the gentleman in question felt the same about her as she felt about him.
Her stomach dropped like a stone at that last thought.
She really had no idea if Thomas loved her or not. He seemed quite fond of her, and they were of similar mindsets in many ways. The touch of his hand on her arm made her heart beat faster, but did he feel the same sort of flash of excitement when she placed her hand in the crook of his arm?
“Well, you needn’t worry about your wedding gown,” Sophie pronounced firmly. “I already have a design in mind. Something very simple in cut, but embroidered from shoulder to hem. I should get working on it tonight. My fingers are fairly itching to start the work.”
Lucy shook her head. “Honestly, Sophie. Is it proper to be talking about clothes now, when Louisa looks miserable? No indeed. This is hardly the right time.”
“It’s always the right time to talk about clothes. Particularly if the talk involves shoulder to hem embroidery,” Sophie replied, picking up her teacup with a huff of disapproval.
In a lighter moment, Louisa might be amused by this familiar repartee between the two women she loved almost as mothers. Now, however, simply wasn’t the time for silliness. Not when she was going to talk about the most important thing that had happened to her as an adult. It was difficult indeed to suppress an eye roll.
“Sophie, do let me get to the heart of this matter,” Lucy replied tartly. Then, she turned her full attention to Louisa. “Do tell me, why are you so upset?”
“This whole situation is impossible.” Now that she had been invited to speak, now that there was no need to censor her words, they flowed from her like a river. “First of all, I don’t know that Thomas loves me—“
“He does.” Sophie gave a smile of satisfaction to her tea cup. “I could tell, simply by looking.”
“Moreover, if I do marry him, Papa will be so odiously pleased.” She chose to set aside, for the moment, the story about Madame Catalogna and her father’s behavior. For now, she must concentrate on the problem she was having with Thomas. “Beyond that, there is the even bigger issue—that I must set aside my life’s work once I marry. It’s difficult indeed to resign myself to that.”
“But in time, you’ll find you grow used to it, I am certain.” Lucy patted her back with the same soothing gesture that had calmed her childhood fears for as long as Louisa could remember. “The Veterans’ Group will miss you, to be sure, but of course you must put marriage and a family above anything you do for us.”
“Yes, indeed.” Sophie glanced at Louisa, merriment dancing in her blue eyes. “Now, let us discuss the wedding gown.”
“No.” Louisa sat up, pulling away from Lucy’s comforting touch. “I have a better plan. What if I were to marry and still retain my position as a teacher at the school?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, dear,” Lucy chided. “Once you are married, you won’t have any time for that. Why, your social obligations alone will take up the majority of your days and evenings. Then, once you have children—“
“Enough.” Louisa couldn’t start thinking of children now. Not when she had just gotten used to the idea of marriage. It was better to get used to the idea of being grown-up slowly, without jumping in up to one’s waist in it. “I have an idea. Thomas is giving his life, and a considerable portion of his wealth, over to philanthropy. In fact, the building he is using for the Veterans’ Group is one that his brother had purchased just before he passed away. So, if Thomas can live a life that he chooses, one that embraces the best parts of both worlds, why can’t I?”
“It’s unheard of,” Lucy stated flatly. “In fact, it’s rather odd for a young lady of your station to be working at all. It’s only your father’s name, and his reputation for being rather indulgent with his daughters, that has allowed you to work for us as long as you have.”
“Lucy is correct.” Sophie put her teacup aside with precision. Etiquette was her element; after all, she had been pressed into service as Amelia’s guide for her demi-season in Bath. Everyone could see how well Amelia had done, for she had married before she ever had need of a London season. “I know you must have heard this before, Louisa darling. Women of your station simply don’t work. You have other things you must do if you are going to occupy your rightful place in Society.”
Louisa shook her head, which was beginning to ache dreadfully. Why had she assumed that Lucy and Sophie would agree with her? The two women, though as dear to her as a mother could be, were going to continue to press her into her place in Society. Both of them had spent their lives guiding and shaping her to lead a certain kind of life, occupying a certain stratum of Society. She couldn’t blame them, of course. They had done what they were supposed to do.
There was only one person who might possibly understand, and that young man had more to do with the matter than anyone else. If Thomas liked her—nay, if he loved her enough to marry her—and he agreed that she could continue working with the Veterans’ Group, then there was nothing anyone else could say in the matter. They could offer opinions, and tell her all sorts of things, but in reality, there was nothing that anyone else could do.
She was wasting her time here. There was only one person she could talk to, only one person whose opinion truly mattered.
“I must go,” she stated, rushing over to her wardrobe with a swirl of her skirts. “Thank you for coming, but I must go.”
“Louisa?”
“Whatever is the matter with you, child?”
She tugged on her favorite shawl, a comfortable russet-colored wool, light enough for summer. “I have an engagement that I had forgotten completely.” She put up her hood. It was an engagement indeed—hopefully one that involved the other clandestine member, the only man on earth who understood her. If he didn’t love her—oh, dear—if he didn’t love her—well, there was nothing to do but to find out.
She blew a kiss to her startled companions and rushed out the door.
~*~
Thomas sat in his study, staring at the empty hearth. The day had been satisfactory, and Captain Cantrill was most pleased with the building. With the plans they had made, the families would be able to move in before the end of summer. He had done what he set out to do. So while there was a feeling of calm contentment to a certain extent, he twitched with restlessness.
It wasn’t enough. It simply wasn’t enough.
If only Louisa were here. But, no, she was having tea with Mrs. Cantrill.
A knock sounded on his door. Hopefully it wasn’t Mother. He had no desire to talk with her about the fate of the building Jacob bought. He wanted to quietly enjoy the good he’d done, without having to explain it all in detail and answer a hundred questions.
Another knock on the door. “Sir, are you quite all right?”
Thomas sighed. “Enter, Beckwith.”
Beckwith wasn’t alone, nor was Mother standing in the hallway behind him. No, Louisa stood in the doorway, her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright. He rose, a rush of excitement suffusing him.
“I was just thinking of you,” he said, drawing her into the room. “Bring tea, won’t you, Beckwith?”<
br />
“Oh, none for me,” she replied, her voice a little higher and more breathless than usual. “I just had tea.”
“Well, then. Never mind.” It would have been nice to have the tea brought in, because he would have something to do, some way to distract himself, and something to do with his hands. If he was left to his own devices, he might grab Louisa’s hands in his, and implore her to marry him.
He motioned her to a chair and sat behind his desk, giving himself some precious physical distance between the two of them. “It’s good to see you, Louisa. Do you know, Captain Cantrill is very pleased with the building? He said they might be able to move the families in before Christmas.”
“That’s wonderful.” Her eyes glowed but she still seemed…fidgety. Distracted, somehow.
“Yes.” He took a quill out of the inkstand and touched the nib. Of course, it splattered ink across his fingers. “Oh…” He grabbed his handkerchief and attempted to clean the mess, knocking over the inkwell and sending a river of ink across his blotter. A lady was present, so he couldn’t give vent to his real feelings about his clumsiness. “Well. Upon my word.”
“Here. Let me help.” Louisa sprang from her chair, waving a delicate lace handkerchief in his direction.
“No, really,” he protested. That scrap of fabric would hardly clean anything, and would most assuredly be ruined in the process.
“I insist.” Louisa lunged across the desk, mopping furiously at the ever-spreading pool of darkness. Ink splattered the front of her frock and freckled her nose.
Thomas grabbed the first piece of fabric he could find of any size—an elegant velvet blanket that was draped across a nearby chair. Normally pressed into service for warmth on chilly evenings, it was now the only thing preventing further disaster. He threw it over the sticky black lake with the same aplomb he would have used in throwing a cape over a mud puddle to protect Louisa’s slippers.
As the fabric bunched up, absorbing the liquid, a hush descended over them.
Sweet Summer Kisses Page 23
