Mac didn’t need to hear any more. He was on his feet and out the door.
****
The fact that he wasn’t pulled over for speeding was a miracle. Never in his life could Mac remember driving so fast to get to someone. If anything happened to Arthur before he got there, he would never be able to forgive himself. The elevator seemed to take forever to get to the fifth floor but once the doors opened, he flew down toward the end of the hall to where he knew Gina was sitting awaiting the worst news a child could get.
He stood in the doorway and just watched. Arthur was speaking softly; thank God he had made it here in time! Should he go in or should he wait outside? He decided to give them a few more minutes alone before announcing his presence.
“I’m so sorry, Gina,” Arthur said. “I really thought we’d have more time.”
Tears openly flowed for the first time since her arrival. There was no way to hold them back now. “I did too,” she said, her voice trembling. “I wanted us to have a day outside together; even if it was just to sit in the park.”
Arthur smiled. “That would have been nice. I remember when you were a little girl, we would go to the park and I would push you on the swings and you would just giggle with excitement. You said you thought you were flying.”
“To me, I was. I always loved those times together, just the two of us.”
“I should have fought harder for you,” he said. “I never should have let you go to California. I knew you didn’t want to go; knew that you wouldn’t be happy. In the end I caved because I just didn’t want to fight anymore. I thought I was doing you a favor.”
“I could have fought more, too,” she said quietly.
With a shaking hand, Arthur reached out and took Gina’s hand in his. “Be happy, sweetheart. Just…be happy.” His eyes closed and Gina knew he was gone.
Mac stepped into the room and was immediately at her side placing a strong hand on her shoulder. Gina didn’t turn to face him but reached up and placed her trembling hand on his. “It’s not fair,” she sobbed. “He wasn’t supposed to leave me yet.”
“He didn’t want to leave you,” Mac said softly.
One hand held her father’s while the other held Mac’s; the two men she loved most in this world and she couldn’t have either of them. “I kept thinking that if I didn’t sit with the doctors, if I didn’t hear what they had to say that he wouldn’t go. Oh, Mac, I’m not ready for him to go!”
Mac knelt down beside her and gathered her in his arms while she cried. His heart broke for the way hers was; he felt every shudder of her body as she cried for all that she had lost. He lost track of time and was losing feeling in his knees from the position but he’d stay like this forever if it brought her comfort.
Doctors and nurses surrounded the bed and Mac quietly asked them if they could please give her a little more time in the room with her father. No one argued. The door closed silently behind them and still he held on to her.
“There were so many things that I wanted to say to him; I kept putting them off because I thought there’d be more time. Now he’s gone and he’ll never know how I felt!”
Mac pulled back and tucked a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him. “He knew how you felt, Gina. All he wanted was the opportunity to spend time with you; to maybe make up for lost time. Arthur knew that you loved him.”
“But I never had the chance…”
“Tell him now,” Mac said and Gina looked at him like he was crazy. “Gina, you’ll never have peace if you don’t say what you wanted to. He’s right there and you know that it’s just his body, but his soul is in a better place. He’ll hear you.”
She didn’t know if she fully believed him but Gina knew deep down in her heart that she had so much that she had to say and this would be her last chance. Standing, she looked down at her father’s face, finally at peace. A quick glance over her shoulder at Mac had him nodding his approval.
Gina cleared her throat and wiped tears from her face. “Daddy,” she began, “I miss you already. I’m so sorry for all of the years together that we missed. I’m sorry for being angry with you for so long for leaving me and making me go to California. I know now that it wasn’t an easy decision for you and that you did what you thought was best. My life wasn’t as bad as I probably make it out to be but the truth is that I missed you. I missed our time together and I thought that maybe you had forgotten about me.”
She began to cry in earnest again and Mac handed her some tissues. Gina composed herself and continued. “I’m sorry for all of the times I refused your calls or made you feel like you weren’t important to me; I was acting out of anger and disappointment. Basically I was being a brat. I’m sorry for not coming home sooner. I should have been here with you long before you were forced to come to the hospital. I hate to think that you didn’t ever get to go home again. I know you were disappointed that I didn’t want to stay at the house; it’s a beautiful house and I hope that a family will someday live there and fill the rooms with laughter. The kind of laughter that we should have had there.” Her knees threatened to give out so great was her grief.
Mac came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her for support. With a gentle kiss on her temple he whispered, “Keep going.”
“I want to thank you for not giving up on me; for encouraging me to reconnect with the things that I was once passionate about. If it wasn’t for you, I would have gone on living in the dark and never remembered the light. You gave it back to me and I only wish that you could see all that I’ve been creating because of you. I’ve made a beautiful picture for Lily’s room.” She let out a small laugh. “I wish you could see her, Daddy; she’s such a sweet baby and Lucas is a wonderful father. William is just a gushing grandfather and I wish we had the opportunity to experience that for ourselves together. My babies will never know their grandfather…”
She turned into Mac’s embrace and he carefully pulled her close to him as he sat down in the chair she had vacated and cradled her in his arms. “He’ll never see any of it,” she cried. “He’ll never see me get married nor have children! Oh, God, Mac; how am I going to get through this? I want him back! I want more time!”
He wished he had the answers. He wanted to take all of her pain away but knew that he was helpless. All Mac could do was be there for her now in her darkest hour and help her remember all that her father had taught her.
They sat in that chair while Gina cried. The next time the doctor came in with the orderlies, he let them do what needed to be done. Together they stood and walked over to the window and watched the sun setting so that they didn’t have to watch Arthur’s body being wheeled from the room. Mac knew they were breaking some sort of protocol by even still being in the room but he was thankful for the graciousness of the staff.
He continued to hold her in his arms and she had finally started to come to grips with what was going on. Every now and again he would feel her shudder as the tears were becoming less and less but he knew it would be a long time before Gina would begin to feel anything other than grief.
The door opened again behind them and Mac turned and saw his father walk in, a look of utter devastation on his face. He came up to them and Gina went from Mac’s embrace straight to William’s and began to cry anew. Mac had never seen his father cry and it was humbling to watch him do so now. He was whispering words of comfort to Gina and Mac began to feel like an intruder.
“Come on, sweetheart,” William said, “there are some arrangements that have to be made.”
“Dad,” Mac said cautiously, “right now? Can’t they wait?”
The truth was that Arthur had taken care of everything once he found out his prognosis. William had a copy of everything and it was just a matter of signing some papers. William shook his head. “I’ll take care of it and then I’ll take you home,” he said to Gina.
Before she could answer, Mac came forward. “I’ll take her home. I don’t want her to be alone.”
“Sh
e won’t be,” William said with a sad smile. “Your mother and I are going to be there with her.”
“It’s okay, William,” Gina whispered. “You go and be with Monica; I know that you’re feeling this as much as I am. I just want to go home and crawl into bed. We’ll talk in the morning, okay?” They hugged one more time but walked out of the room arm in arm while Mac followed close behind.
They were stopped by some of the nurses who had been caring for Arthur and then a couple of his doctors stopped to offer their condolences. William said good night to both Gina and Mac before following one of the nurses who instructed him on the papers that were there for him to sign.
The elevator ride was made in silence and Mac was proud of her for keeping her composure as so many people had stopped to talk with them. He led her out to his car and helped her in. The woman who had danced around to Rod Steward and the Jackson Five now sat listless in her seat and he secured her seatbelt as if she were a child. Gina kept her head bowed and Mac let her have that time to herself.
It wasn’t until they pulled up in front of his home that she spoke. “Why are we here?”
They had typically spent their time together at the guest house; he’d only brought Gina to his home once. “I thought you might appreciate a change of scenery tonight.” He climbed from the car and went around to help her out. Pulling Gina close to his side they made their way into the house. “Are you hungry? I can make us something to eat if you’d like.”
Gina shook her head. “I don’t think I could eat anything right now.”
“You need your strength, Gina,” he said as he gently caressed her cheek. “I know you don’t want to eat but I’m sure you haven’t taken the time for it today.”
“I didn’t want to leave his side,” she said sadly. “I didn’t want to take a chance…”
“Sshh…” he whispered as he pulled her close again. “It’s okay. Come sit down and I’ll make us some omelets and just eat what you can, okay?”
She nodded and let Mac lead her to a stool at his breakfast bar. In their time together Mac had never cooked for her; she wasn’t even aware that he knew how. Watching him now was a good distraction. The entire time he chopped vegetables and scrambled eggs and placed bread in the toaster, he made small talk with her about random current events and she was thankful to let her mind wander to things that didn’t really even matter.
Before she knew it, a plate of food was in front of her and her stomach growled loudly. “I guess I was hungrier than I thought,” she said shyly. Mac sat beside her and together they ate in silence. Gina managed to eat half of hers before pushing the plate away. “Thank you, Mac; that was delicious.”
His own meal was completely finished and so he gathered their plates and quickly cleaned up before helping Gina up from the stool. Turning off the lights as they walked along, he led her to the master bedroom. Gently, he sat her down on the bed and then went and pulled one of his shirts from a drawer and handed it to her. “The bathroom is through there,” he pointed, “and if you need anything, just call me.”
“Where are you sleeping?”
“I’m probably going to watch a little TV so I’ll either fall asleep on the couch or I’ll go up to one of the spare bedrooms.”
“I can take the spare room, Mac. It’s okay.” Gina stood but Mac’s hands on her shoulders had her sitting back down quickly.
“I want you to stay in here tonight. I’d feel better knowing that you were in here.” Gina stared at him as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Get some sleep.” Mac turned to walk away but Gina’s hand grabbing his stopped him.
“I don’t want to be alone, Mac.”
“Gina,” he began hesitantly.
She shook her head. “I’ve been alone for so long and right now I really want to be here with you.” A single tear streaked down her cheek. “It’s okay if you don’t love me or if you don’t want me anymore but please don’t make me be alone tonight.” Her big green eyes stared up at him and in that moment he would have given her everything that he had and more. “Stay with me. Please.”
Mac pulled his hand from hers and walked away. He heard Gina gasp but he simply closed the door and walked back to her side. Without a word he stripped down to his briefs and then pulled her to her feet. Gina kicked off her shoes and then Mac helped her take off her skirt and blouse. When she stood before him in nothing but white lace, he kept his eyes on hers as he reached behind her for the shirt he had taken out for her to sleep in. Gina took it from his hands and dropped it on the floor.
Along with her bra.
“Just for tonight,” she whispered. “I need you to just love me for tonight.” Mac whispered her name but she put her finger over his lips. “Please don’t say anything. I don’t expect you to make promises to me. I just need you.” She reached up and wrapped one hand around his neck and pulled him toward her. The kiss was tentative at first but once she brought her nearly naked body flush up against him, Mac was lost.
He lay them down on the bed and sighed with the pleasure of feeling Gina’s body against his again. He’d missed this; needed this. The kiss became greedy but he couldn’t be sure who was taking and who was giving, all he knew was that this wasn’t one sided. She may have been the one to ask him to stay but he most certainly was the one who didn’t want to leave.
****
Morning came far too soon. Mac never let Gina leave his arms all night long. Several times she had disentangled herself from him but he managed to coax her back. He knew that she was trying to distance herself from him, but Mac wouldn’t allow it. They had made love numerous times before but something about the way they connected last night went beyond anything Mac had ever experienced before.
They never said a word and yet they had held each other’s gazes the entire time. Mac didn’t need Gina to tell him that she loved him; it was there in her eyes. He could only hope that she read the same in his because he knew now that he was in love with Gina Micelli, only now was not the time to throw that emotional curveball at her.
Today she was going to have enough to deal with; funeral arrangements had to be made and he was sure that there was going to be a ton of legal matters dealing with Arthur’s estate that was going to have to be gone over. The last thing she needed was him confessing that he was in love with her. The timing was off; she’d probably think that he was saying it out of pity, to make her feel better. No, he had to wait until she got through the funeral and all that went with it before they could sit down and talk about it; about their future.
He would stay by her side; be whatever it was that she needed him to be. Everything that he should have been from the moment he first laid eyes on her. With a sigh, Mac pulled Gina close and kissed her forehead. He whispered her name in an attempt to wake her up. Gina’s eyes opened slowly and when she looked up and saw him, she smiled warmly; the events of the day before came washing over her and Mac had to watch as that serene smile turned to sadness.
“You’re not alone,” he said to her. “The whole family is here to help you through this.”
Confusion marked her face as her brows furrowed. “They’re here now?”
Mac chuckled. “I didn’t mean literally. Whenever you’re ready, we’ll go back to my parents’ place and see what needs to be done. You don’t have to rush; Dad knows that we’ll be there at some point this morning.”
Gina pushed the hair from her eyes and looked around the room as she held the sheet tightly to her chest. For a brief moment she had forgotten all that had happened the previous day; waking up in Mac’s arms was more than she’d ever thought to experience again. Now all that was left was grief and remorse. She never should have asked him to stay with her last night and she certainly shouldn’t have made love with him.
Rising from the bed Mac dressed quickly before turning to face Gina again. “I’m going to go and make us some coffee and call my parents. You can use the shower if you’d like. If you aren’t ready to get dressed yet there’s a robe ha
nging on the bathroom door.” He stepped up beside her and kissed her on the cheek. “Take your time.”
Once she was alone, Gina didn’t know where to begin. Everything was out of sorts; she wanted to burrow back under the blankets and just forget everything. She was so grateful to the Montgomerys and she knew that William and Monica were going to do everything possible to help her through all of the planning and legalities that she was sure to be faced with.
That just left Mac. When he had shown up at the hospital at the exact moment she needed him she thought she had been dreaming. The way he had held her and calmed her and taken care of her was in direct conflict to the way they had ended things. For someone who talked about their relationship being temporary, he certainly was doing everything that implied permanence.
Gina closed her eyes and remembered the intensity in which he had made love to her. The way he had looked at her, held her gaze as he’d loved her told her that he felt more deeply for her than he was letting on. Unfortunately, until he was able to open up to her and ask her to stay, Gina knew that she would eventually have to leave.
By the time she met up with him in the kitchen, she had showered and dressed. Mac handed her a mug of steaming coffee while he spoke on the phone. Within minutes he had hung up and sat beside her at the breakfast bar where they had eaten the previous evening. “Are you hungry? I think I can whip up some pancakes.”
As tempting as it sounded, Gina had no appetite. She shook her head. “I’m not hungry.” Mac nodded and they sat in companionable silence.
“I spoke to my father and he said that whenever you’re ready, we can just go over and discuss all of the arrangements.” It was Gina’s turn to nod and then she rose. “Do you want to head over now?”
“I think I do,” she said quietly. She gathered her few meager belongings and when they were getting ready to head out the door, she stopped and placed a hand on Mac’s arm. “In case I forget to say it later, I want to thank you for everything that you’re doing.”
Stay With Me (The Montgomery Brothers) Page 12
