by Jenna Rae
Del watched as Lola approached Tess and introduced herself. Tess was her usual ebullient self and waved Lola at the coffee setup with some quiet joke that made Lola smile. Del smiled, too. She’d thought Lola would be too shy to walk up to Tess, but clearly she’d underestimated her.
Lola seemed to waver before choosing a seat that was as far away from everyone as possible, on the edge of the group. Del decided to sit opposite her. She would show Lola that she wasn’t the big meanie she appeared to be. She exchanged greetings with Tess, her girlfriend Lin, and Rachel, a Barbie wannabe who’d tried on numerous occasions to develop a relationship with Del. Rachel was buxom, blond, and overtly sexy in a way that made most people fawn over her.
A badge bunny, Del decided early on, and was turned off, despite Rachel’s obvious charms. Cops were like magnets to some people. The guns, the power, the danger—something about cops got certain women all lathered. Del had studiously avoided that particular pitfall, having watched too many of her colleagues run from badge bunny to badge bunny. It always ended in tears and betrayal and drama. Of course, Janet was all drama, yet another reason Del should have known better.
Rachel was holding hands with a tall, muscular butch in a Pendleton shirt and jeans. She even wore the requisite black boots. Cop? Firefighter? Military? Something like that. Tough, smart-looking, built like a prizefighter. Perfect. That should keep Rachel busy for a while. Andrea, an abrasive, aggressive woman with a habit of interrupting people, wasn’t there, and Del was relieved. She and Andrea had butted heads more than once, and it only ever ended when Tess played referee. Del hated to put Tess in that position, and she tried to avoid conflict, but Andrea loved to wrangle and could never agree to disagree. Andrea would have intimidated Lola. Maybe, with such a small group, she would actually talk. Maybe. Two other women came in, arms around each other. They were both typically quiet, and Del nodded to them and to Rachel’s seatmate. She saw Lola surreptitiously take in each woman and size her up. She seemed to be doing threat assessments, even on the least threatening people. Del narrowed her eyes.
She saw Lola catch her watching. She held Del’s gaze for a moment, and Del realized that Lola had been aware of her scrutiny and was letting her know it. It was a ballsy move. Maybe she needed to stop underestimating Lola. In the light of the coffee shop, the changes she’d undergone were even more striking. She could have been a whole different person. She was more than pretty. She was a knockout. Breathtaking, that was the word that Del had thought of at Marco’s, and it was a lot more evident now.
As the evening began, Del stayed a passive observer, an unusual role for her, as Tess led the spirited discussion. Del noticed that Lola, who merely listened for the first several minutes, eventually became an active participant. She wasn’t assertive, but she did make a few insightful comments, which the rest of the group seemed to respond to. Challenged by Rachel on one point, Lola immediately backed down, and Del was unsurprised but disappointed. Tess took Lola’s position then, but Lola didn’t rejoin the dialogue. Too easily intimidated, too easily put aside. A shame. She seemed smart and kind of funny. And her hair smelled good. Del had noticed this when holding the door for her.
Still, Lola asserted herself again later and made a joke to prevent any argument, and Del was glad. This was going to be fun. Maybe Lola had a little fire, after all. Del caught Rachel’s annoyed glance and suppressed a smile when Lee grabbed Rachel’s knee to get her attention. Good for you, Lee. She saw Lola smiling faintly at the silent exchange. So, she’s more observant than most. Janet was also very observant. Del shied away from the comparison and focused on the discussion again.
Soon after, the meeting broke up. Del waved goodbye to Tess and walked out right behind Lola. Her hair did smell good. Not too sweet, not too flowery, clean and light and fresh. Maybe they could be friends. Del missed having friends. And Lola seemed like someone who was very alone.
“Hey, Lola?”
She turned, and the top of her head came up to just under Del’s chin. Del smiled more easily than she had in months. Why was it that everything Lola did was so damned cute?
“Yes, Del?” They stepped through the door together, and Del felt braced by the night air. Lola seemed to be slowly edging away.
“Uh.” Why was this so hard? Del never had trouble talking to people.
She spat her words out more sharply than she’d intended. “I don’t see your car.” She gestured at her bike.
Lola made a walking motion with her fingers and smiled.
“You walked here?” It sounded like an accusation. She had meant it to sound nice. Friendly. She saw Lola shiver.
“Uhh. I should get going. Good night.” Lola zipped up her jacket. “Nice to see you again, neighbor.”
“Wait,” Del called. “Listen. It’s kinda far to your house and pretty cold. You know, and it’s pretty late.”
“Oh.” Lola started to back away. “It’s okay. I like walking.”
“Well,” Del tried to appear not scary and not crazy and not pushy. “It’s just that it’s kind of far and not really that safe this late.” She shrugged and smiled. “Listen, Lola, we’re neighbors, and if anything happened to you, I’d feel like crap. I have an extra helmet. Besides, I bet you’ve never been on a bike before, and it’s kinda fun.”
Del knew Lola could certainly walk home seven blocks just fine. But this would give Del an excuse to get closer to her and start building trust with her and developing the friendship she had decided to cultivate. She grabbed the extra helmet that Janet had worn and held it out in what she hoped was a friendly and not aggressive gesture.
Lola hesitated but then smiled, “Well, you’re right. I haven’t ever been on a motorcycle. Don’t take this the wrong way, but it seems kind of dangerous.”
Del nodded. “It can be, if you’re not careful. But I am careful, and I promise, I’ll get you home safe. What do you say?” She offered a scout’s salute and smiled. She wasn’t sure why she was pushing this. This felt like more than just being neighborly.
Lola appeared to be thinking it over. “Okay, but if I die, I’m coming back to haunt you.”
Del’s laughter gurgled out. She was definitely funny. And cute and smart and sweet. Not to mention, damned sexy in a leather jacket. “Deal.”
She stuck out her hand, and Lola shook it. Her skin was soft, but her hand was cold. Gloves. Next time, I’ll bring gloves for her. Not that there will be a next time. But there might. She sat and braced the bike, hoping Lola wouldn’t chicken out.
Lola murmured her thanks and pulled on the helmet. She eased carefully onto the bike as though it were a bucking bronco. Del swallowed a laugh.
“You all set?”
“Um, what should I do?”
“Well, pretty much just sit there and hold on.”
“I think even I can do that.”
Lola’s arms hugged Del’s sides, and her leather jacket rubbed against Del’s, and her jeans rubbed against Del’s. It was nice. Janet loved the bike, but she also loved bouncing on the seat and leaning to see around Del, and it was more dangerous than fun to ride with her. Janet also talked nonstop into the intercom, which was even more annoying. Lola was still and quiet and warm. She leaned with Del, instead of trying to anticipate the turns and guide the bike herself. She would be a good dance partner, the way she followed instead of fighting to lead. Lola’s body was softer against Del’s than Janet’s, too.
Lola’s arms didn’t loosen at all, and her fingers grasped Del’s pockets. She was scared of the bike, as she’d said. But the ride was smooth and uneventful. And over much too quickly. Lola climbed off as carefully as she’d climbed on. Del wanted to tease her but wasn’t sure how she’d take it.
“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Lola pulled off her helmet, and Del did the same. She grinned to see that Lola was beaming. “That was awesome! I didn’t realize how, I don’t know, how fun it would be.”
Del laughed. “And we were only going twenty m
iles an hour. Imagine it at eighty.”
Lola shook her head. “No, thanks. That sounds terrifying. I think twenty miles an hour is perfect.”
Del laughed again. “Maybe I’ll be able to change your mind.”
“Sorry, but I doubt it.”
There was a moment of silence.
“Thanks for the ride.”
Del shrugged. “Thanks for trusting me.”
“Take care, and thanks again.”
“’Night.”
Lola held out the helmet and flashed that knockout smile again, and Del felt her whole body respond. It would be easy to lose herself in that smile.
Okay, she reminded herself, Lola is not your girlfriend. She never will be. She’s not even your friend. Barely an acquaintance. But she parked the bike and went inside still thinking about Lola and her shy, sweet smile. And her warm, soft body. And the smell of her hair.
The next month went by quickly, so quickly that Del barely saw Lola or anyone else outside of work. She ran into her once in the grocery store, but Lola was heading out with a distracted look when Del was going in, and she didn’t want to be a pest. She also saw her from the bike once. Lola was walking along, head high, hair blowing out behind her. She looked like a shampoo commercial. Then she saw Del and waved, and Del waved back, wishing she wasn’t rushing to work and had time to stop. Every time she thought about going by Lola’s to say hello, something came up.
Halloween came and went, with no more notice on Del’s part than the requisite bowl of candy and uncarved pumpkin on the porch. She was occupied with several stalled cases, more scutwork, and was determined to clear at least one of them before the month was out. She was at a loss on the unidentified prostitute and put the frustrating puzzle aside for the time being. Now she was chasing her tail on three other unsolved murders and feeling useless. She wanted to get back to new cases and work a homicide she could actually solve. The cold cases were almost impossible to clear. They went cold in the first place because there wasn’t enough evidence, and new, meaningful evidence was even harder to find long after the fact. She put in extra hours, covered all of her bases, approached each problem from a variety of angles, and still had no luck.
Frustrated, she rode home late one Friday night, vowing to take a day off soon. The next week was Thanksgiving. She glanced at Lola’s living room window as she passed, noting two cats perched on the windowsill, eying the world outside as though they were tiny royal sentries. It made her chuckle out loud as she roared by, and she realized that she hadn’t laughed since she’d last spoken with Lola. A month ago?
Oh, well. Book club is tonight. Bet I’ll see her there. Maybe I’ll see if she wants a ride. She remembered how it had felt when Lola had put her arms around her. And how it had felt to see her smile and hear her laugh. She was being ridiculous. The woman was practically a stranger. A pretty, smart, shy, funny stranger who liked to read. Del shook her head. Quiet little Lola Bannon was going to be trouble.
Chapter Four
Lola stood frozen at her front door, trying to decide whether she should walk to the coffee shop or just drive. She would have enjoyed the walk, but she was worried that Del would be upset with her or feel obligated to give her a ride. She didn’t want to offend Del by ignoring her concerns, but she didn’t want to feel cornered into accepting a ride, either. She knew that Del was just being nice, but taking a ride to someplace she could get to on her own felt like unnecessary dependence.
Was she overthinking things? She couldn’t be sure. She sometimes wished she could see Lauren, who had been her therapist for a little while. But Lauren was well over a hundred miles away, and Lola hadn’t spoken to her in over a year. Del, and the way Lola felt drawn to her, seemed like matters Lauren could have helped her sort through.
Lola was attracted to Del, and she didn’t really want to be. She was far too raw, still, and it was too nice, leaning into Del’s broad back and smelling the leather of her jacket. Lola had been truthful. She’d never been on a motorcycle before. It was such a surprise, the pure pleasure and freedom and power of it. It was a little scary, but they went only a few blocks, and Del seemed like a capable driver.
She seemed capable in a lot of ways. And nicer than she’d seemed at first. She was a less active participant in the book club than Lola had expected. And a careful listener, though you had to look closely to see her reactions to what people said. She kept her face pretty blank, but her eyes were expressive when she thought no one was looking. She was intimidating, in some ways—tough, independent and a little brusque. But tender and sensitive and sweet, underneath the bluster.
Okay, Lola, she chided herself. You don’t even know this woman. You’ve met her, like, twice. And you’ve barely exchanged a dozen words. And maybe a few giggles. Del had a cute laugh. She always seemed surprised to find herself laughing.
Yes, Lola found Del attractive but intimidating. Lola also remembered the interplay between Del and Rachel and Lee, and she didn’t want to get involved in a lot of craziness. Besides, if Rachel was Del’s type, then she herself definitely was not. Orrin’s snide chuckle sounded in Lola’s head, and she had to second his derision. Someone as beautiful as Del would never even look at someone like me. And she probably thinks I’m about as exciting as oatmeal. Not that I care what she thinks. She smiled to herself. Well, she acknowledged, maybe I care a little.
Loath though she was to draw the comparison, Lola had to admit that some things about Del reminded her of Orrin. She was confident, smart and independent. She could be sharp. She didn’t appear to tolerate foolishness. And she seemed to have the ability to read people very well—it was disconcerting, the way she seemed to be sizing Lola up all the time.
She also seemed very different from Orrin. She was both tougher than he and softer, somehow. She didn’t seem to need to prove herself the way he always did. He had to be the boss all the time, but Del seemed like she didn’t need to do that. When Lola seemed nervous, Del backed off. Orrin would have enjoyed her discomfort, while Del seemed unsettled by it. She was a keen listener, but, unlike Orrin, she didn’t seem to just listen long enough to find something to pick apart. Lola shook her head and scolded herself. You barely know this woman. Stop making a lot of assumptions about who she is based on nothing. She’s just a neighbor. That’s all.
Lola had been attracted to other women, but not like this. She wasn’t sure how to handle the scary intensity of her attraction to Del. She was worried about making the right choices in women. She’d certainly failed to make the right choice in men. And, she reminded herself, Dr. Orrin Beckett had seemed nice at first. All people generally start off being nice. You don’t know who they really are until they decide to show you. And they don’t do that until it’s too late for you to get away.
Not that Del was beating a path to her door. Lola heard her bike, early in the morning and late at night. Del seemed to work a lot, so maybe she was too busy to come to this month’s book club. Maybe she didn’t want to be around because she felt like Lola was right there, in her way. That seemed pretty paranoid, though—maybe she was just busy and hadn’t given Lola a second thought for the last month. Really, that was the most likely scenario.
Suddenly resolute, she stepped out into the evening chill and trotted down the stairs. Just as she reached the bottom step, she heard a roar and saw Del’s bike. Panicked, as though Del could read her thoughts, Lola froze again. Then she had to laugh at herself. Really, she thought, you’re freaking out because your neighbor is offering you a ride? Get over yourself.
“Hey,” Del called as she pulled up, “wanna ride?”
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to,” Lola started, but Del just handed her the helmet and waited. Lola was irritated by Del’s assumption, but she was also warmed by the current of desire that ran through her when Del’s fingers brushed against hers. She hesitated, holding the helmet, and Del pulled off hers and looked at her in a measuring way.
“Listen,” Del said, over the grumbli
ng of the bike, “if you’d rather walk, I’m not planning to kidnap you and whisk you off to book club against your will. Whatever you want to do is cool. I just thought you might want a chance to reconsider your speed limit of twenty.”
Lola smiled. “I do like the bike.”
“See?”
“But twenty is the absolute limit, okay?”
Del held up two fingers, as she had the month before. “Scout’s honor, ma’am.”
“You’re silly.” Climbing on and wrapping her arms around Del’s waist, Lola found herself smiling into Del’s jacket like a teenager. She giggled with sudden embarrassment—was it obvious to Del how attractive Lola found her? How could it not be? She was flushed and giddy with excitement and nerves.
When they pulled up in front of the coffee shop, Tess was on the sidewalk. It was clear she was waiting to talk to Del, so Lola murmured her thanks to Del and a greeting to Tess before heading inside so they could talk privately. As she opened the door, she heard Tess teasing Del about something, goading her, maybe.
She took a cup of coffee this time, lured by the aroma, and sweetened it liberally.
“You’re like me,” Lin said.
Lola jumped. She hadn’t noticed the slight girl beside her. “I’m sorry, what?”
Lin smiled. “You like some coffee with your sugar.”
Lola grinned. “If it were socially acceptable to drink giant cups of milk and sugar without coffee, I would do it.”
“Me, too. Is Del gonna play?” Lin was dumping sugar into her coffee like it had to hold her over for the next month.
“Play?”
“Basketball.”
She said it like most people would say “cockroaches,” and Lola made a questioning face.
“Well, come on, they’re all twelve feet tall and built like Amazons. I basically either have to stay home or play cheerleader.”
They both looked over as Tess and Del came in. It was obvious that Del had turned Tess down, and Lin made a face. “Too bad. If Del would play, then at least I’d have someone to talk to.”
