Letters to Dandelion

by Xve

  For you to understand, that without you,

  this world would lose a bit of its luster,

  and the joy that you bring to the people

  who know you, would be the section of

  the choir that would stop singing.

  I want you to know, that there is no one

  on this Earth, right now, or at any other

  time in history that has had your blood

  coursing through their veins, has had

  your eyes to see the world the way you

  see it, has had your laughter, your love,

  your emotions, your outlooks, --

  No one has ever had your DNA that

  makes you the most desired commodity,

  because you are the only one in life to

  have ever come this way.

  I would love for you to see the beauty you

  created in your boys, and the influence you

  have in their lives, and the fact that, they

  would have such a difficult time with out

  you.

  And that, in your life right now, is a person

  who would never bullshit you. Love you for

  who you are, and bust his ass a thousand

  times from Sunday to make you happy.

  I’m so in love with you, that my heart is

  raw, black and blue.

  But, I couldn't think of a greater

  pain to deal with, than the thought

  and hope, that one day, you just

  may - - really want to be with me.

  Baby, I have some fairly good news.

  Please believe in me a little?

  I promise, that what you give to me in belief,

  I will return to you in whatever you desire

  most.

  I love you.

  Thinking of her …

  To write a poem

  after getting off of

  work, driving home

  and feeling like a

  useless drone,

  allowed my mind

  to drift off in time.

  And I imagined …

  All the possibilities …

  Of seeing her face,

  hearing her voice,

  touching her hand,

  knowing it’s her,

  and no one else.

  The instinctive little

  things that propel

  a Man towards a

  beautiful Woman.

  But not just any Woman,

  of soft senses,

  wondrous eyes,

  or delicate touch –

  with playful laughter

  and hungry kisses :*

  These things cause

  me to sway for her

  much - and sway I

  will, my own desires,

  my own contentions

  and my emotions –

  A Gift for her fully,

  and especially,

  if she may be

  – my given destiny.

  A Letter Grounded in Gravity

  Good Morning Baby,

  I love you. I’m very happy that things worked out yesterday. That you are not in some filthy place, surrounded by useless people, wasting your precious time.

  I must tell you, you’re better than everything that you have been doing and getting caught up in. You're so way better than that, and you have better things in your life than to cheapen yourself. No matter what the circumstances.

  I always feel privileged to be with you, whether I pay or not. It’s worth it to me, because I know you need it, and I know I love being with you more than anyone else in the world. But, even with me, you are better than that. Your boys would agree with me, because you are their only wonderful Mom, and to me, you are the only person like who you are that I know. In my eyes, you are special and unique and a gift and a joy to experience. Your happiness is infectious and it spreads to me like a flame. Baby, please understand, when I say I love you over and over, it’s not so I will believe it, or even to make you believe it, it’s just because it is so.

  There are many reasons why I say what I am saying now, and what I am about to say, so please don’t take offense – but, baby, you believe in things other than yourself, you believe in right and wrong and you believe in God. This I know because you wouldn’t have asked me to pray for and you would not respond to me when I say, “I’m praying for your peace in the situation you were in last night.”

  We are physical beings, having a spiritual experience, and that is much like bread dissolving slowly in water. That is sort of what life is like. We are dying slowly, and learning and softening every day. For some, it takes longer than others, but we eventually get there, that is why it takes a lifetime to do so.

  The bible says that spiritual realm also have spiritual laws. Just like gravity.

  We cannot SEE gravity, but we know it is a solid law that governs our weight and the things that happen on this planet.

  Baby, just the fact that you turn your heart, or your ear, or your time, or your belief towards God, then HE WILL turn his heart, his ear, his belief in a HUGE WAY towards you. If I think I love you, trust me, it’s nothing compared to how much he does. He made you for this special time, and this special place, to bring three special people into the world and for you to be born to and around other special people who you and he care about. You love your boys, you love your family and in turn, God, and I, love you dearly.

  But, just as how you try to stop your Brother from doing things to hurt himself and you care for him, so does God and I for you. You are not immune from someone loving you. Maybe what happened was a good thing to get you to change your direction in life. Just as you say, that what Sarah does, is a whole other level of desensitization, maybe some great spirit realizes you have three precious people depending on you, and doesn't want you to go down that path.

  I know, I don't.

  Baby, there is a saying in the bible, “The sins of the Father, (or the Mother,) are revisited on the Sons.” Your actions, mean something baby. Just like jumping up in the air, causes the spiritual law of gravity to pull you back down to the ground, your actions, good or bad, kick off spiritual things to happen, good or bad to you or those around you. I love you dearly. I love your children dearly because they came from you. I want more than ever to be with you, so this is why I am telling you this.

  I think of how stupid it was now, and that is what also prompted me to change my outlook and my actions in life. I cannot just do what I feel I want to because there are penalties and costs, and NO ONE is bigger than the system. If they could arrest John Gotti and Al Capone, then anyone can be got.

  You once called me domestic, I will tell you, 15 years ago, I was one of the meanest and angriest persons the world could ever know. It would be nothing for me to do what I wanted and with whatever was available to use.

  But, I always knew I had talent, and I always knew it was better to be in love with a woman and just to be with her, than to be out doing knuckle headed shit to getting in trouble. When the cell door closes, very few people know your name. And all the friends you thought you had, are gone.

  Baby, I see you as such a precious person. I love you and I want to be with you. I want to marry you. Yes, what we do is fun, and we could have fun with others, but at the end of the day, I want only you exclusively.

  I’m working hard to make something great of myself. I want to give you a better life than you have ever had, but the difference with me is that I will never, ever take it away, because I would hope that we would become really close, and have enough respect for each other that we could talk our differences through and love each other during the process.

  I understand your need for alone time baby, I have that too.

  My beautiful, my love, I listen to every word you say. The other night you mentioned that you “were pretty much, mine.”

  I have so much hope baby. I would love for you to really want that to be true.

  I feel and see
things starting to change with us for the better. I feel we are getting closer. ;-)

  Like I said in my poem, Please allow me a chance …? Because one is all that I would ever need.

  Nothing but my …

  Love...

  because I imagine you’re near me all the time

  and I act as though you are there, holding my

  pillow at night, just believing it’s you.

  Gentleness…

  when I touch you, because you are as precious

  to me as nothing I can describe, all I know, is

  when I touch you it’s a chemical thing between

  our skin and it makes me dream of you.

  Desire…

  because no one has ever made me feel what you

  make me feel.

  Devotion…

  to want to love you, make sure you never have

  another worry or care, I want to be there for

  you in every way.

  Willingness…

  To become whatever you need, to provide for

  you in this world and to make you proud of me

  because I will never give up until we are together.

  Hope …

  to have you in my life always, to have you next to

  me every night, to feel you breathing peacefully

  near me, to look at you and think of how lucky I

  have been – to have beaten the odds of time, of

  distance, of location -- and to know that some

  where, here, in the stretch of existence, I came

  into your life, you allowed me your trust and

  I have won you as my own.

  I will never change how I feel about you.

  I will never stop asking to be with you.

  I will always do my best to care for you.

  because I am deeply in love with you.

  Please allow me just one chance with you?

  Better late than never

  Behind our eyes, it’s in the air,

  the things we know and about

  what we care.

  So, I’m not good at hedging bets,

  or reading minds, or staking claims.

  All I know is, you will be happy with

  me, when the time comes.

  You will love me –because I’ll

  never give you a reason not to.

  You will feel safe with me, because

  you already are.

  You will know how much I worship,

  and cherish, and embellish, and desire

  you. Because, as the seconds tick by,

  my words will fly to your ears.

  And when the years stack, the truth

  will eventually replace your fears.

  Time. What a commodity.

  If we had time like on a deserted

  Island, then you might see.

  That You’ll be happy with me,

  and it will be better late,

  than never.

  Why fish are so cool …

  Believe it or not,

  It has a lot - do, with you and me.

  Fish, the way I see,

  live in a sort of society

  so close to the human world,

  than all animals on Earth.

  There are small fish and long fish.

  Far Traveling fish and homebody fish,

  Pretty fish and ugly fish,

  Exotic fish and regular fish,

  Peaceful fish and dangerous fish.

  Fish that swim at the top of the ocean,

  And fish who live at the bottom.

  Fish who are renowned and fish who

  are unheard of.

  They all live in a big pool, where

  they can all meet and greet.

  Sometimes, each other eat.

  They swim by each other, mostly,

  without a care and with their

  funny eyes, tend to purposefully stare.

  An Arabian Camel may never meet

  A Snowshoe Hair, but a Shark can

  cruise up to the Bahamas and abuse

  a sunning reef seal.

  Make that fucker into a meal,

  and be so viciously indifferent

  all the while in the process.

  Fish are so cool,

  to be a fish you can’t be any fool,

  because the stress they live under in the waves

  is pretty much the exact same

  and no different than our own.

  You …

  Are just so very unique.

  Do I put this into words?

  Dare do I even speak?

  Do I exercise my nerve,

  to phrase the many things I like about you, and I do observe?

  Should I tell you when I met you;

  as you approached me, I withdrew.

  Because I didn’t know what to think.

  It seemed very odd that we would ever speak.

  But, you were not meek,

  You asked me to coffee first, (remember?)

  At first, I was not going to bother.

  This borrows from past experiences,

  that it’s better to keep myself shrouded in mysteriousness.

  But then I gave that thought another –

  And now look at me?

  Paddling wildly in the tsunami sea of wanting to see you daily.

  What can it be?

  I see someone, whose eyes turn a shade lighter,

  when her mood is made brighter,

  by good conversations and uplifting situations.

  I see a woman, so comfortable, that she makes others internally feel

  how she portrays herself externally.

  I see a woman so naturally beautiful, that on makeup,

  (I’m sure) a ton of money she saves.

  I hear a voice, so even in pace,

  that I’ll wait however long it takes,

  just to hear whatever you have to say next.

  In the exposition of that speech, you revere to actually teach,

  from an intellect so vast and collected, ready; endeared to share.

  For this life you made yourself well prepared, by the hard work

  and attention to detail in your studies, for it shows.

  Balancing out in your creative life:

  A Potter, a Writer, a Photographer, an Artist, a Visionary, a Manager, and I’m sure,

  there is so much more.

  I perceive that there is no end to who you are,

  or the sources from which you draw.

  Of you, I stand in awe;

  as someone so intelligent can only be admired.

  And desired.

  Can you tell me, have you never noticed, our in-step pace?

  (As we walk …)

  This makes my heart want to trace;

  the detailed true timing,

  in hopes of finding,

  an equality that we have a world and more so in common;

  this already proven, by our intricate conversations and personal interaction.

  In every way, you are not what I expected.

  And everything, I ever wanted.

  Phenomenal Love

  · Woman of my Dreams …

  · Seal

  · The Masses, a Few and then there’s You …

  · Oddities

  · Flowers in the fissures

  · The One you want

  · I only want you

  · Precious

  · Ink and Quill

  · Magnetic

  · Room

  · Love me freely

  · I hold her forever

  · The Dandelion

  · The Tornado

  Woman of my dreams…

  It’s in the dark, sparsely, but this I could see,

  Your ocean deep, brown eyes, glistening softly back at me,

  and a smile which wraps around to the sides of your face.

  Creating furrows in such baby mettle skin, of lines to someone

  who could t
otally win, my completely, deeply buried heart.

  I know this isn’t smart, because of the game that we play.

  But I can sit for days; thinking about other ways,

  and wishing and pour forth hope,

  but the feeling never goes,

  from the curve that reality throws,

  against the odds of me having you for my own.

  What a day, the next day for me feels;

  like a drone spinning my wheels,

  in thoughts of just a few hours before,

  Of You walking through my door, mysterious, strong and

  Just - Oh, so effervescently beautiful.

  It’s not typical, not all physical, could never be temporal,

  it’s quite more emotional and sensual

  – in your presence of confidence.

  You know what you do - intimacy,

  but in-to-me; see, What you would find –