The Detective Megapack

by Various Writers

“I’m tellin’ you, Bauer, I’ll shoot you in the other fuckin’ leg. Then I’ll shoot you in each knee. Then each elbow. And I’m gonna keep on shootin’ you until you come clean with me. Why the fuck did you set me up?”

  “O-okay. L-l-look, Ant-Antoine. I tried to talk him out of it, but he’s on this trip, man. He wants to get promoted real bad. He wants to make sergeant before me so he can show everyone that his old man wasn’t making him.”

  What? What is he saying?

  “You tellin’ me that three of my girls are dead and the other six have run off like scared pussies so your partner can get a fuckin’ promotion? You expect me to believe that lame shit?”

  “It’s true, man. Wade figured if he set you up with the Disciples, you’d go after them. He figured on a few dead Disciples here and there. He was going to let you do that. Then he figured he could get close to you ’cause you trusted him and…and then he’d take you out. Case closed. Gang war over and he’d be the hero. That’s it, Antoine. I tried to tell him it was a bonehead plan, but he wants those stripes real bad, and he doesn’t want to get them from his old man.”

  I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Roy, what are you doing?

  “That son of a bitch,” DeLee spits. “I thought he was fuckin’ all right.”

  I slide back down to the pavement, my entire body colder from what I had just heard than the winter air. Why would Roy say those things? To save his own skin?

  Okay.

  Okay. He’s in a desperate situation. He’s got a gun pointed at him, and he’s already been shot. He’s lost a lot of blood and he’s probably thinking he’s about to die.

  Okay, so he’s buying time.

  Time for me to get my shit together and do my job. He’s blowing smoke up DeLee’s ass to buy me time to take him down. That’s it. I tense and breathe deep.

  “Look, Antoine,” Roy says.

  That’s it, partner. Keep him focused on you.

  “We can make this right. Wade’s dead. We can just make sure they know he set this all up. The Disciples and the department both.”

  “We don’t know he’s dead, Bauer.”

  “So, go make sure Antoine. If he’s not, then make him dead. Then it’s you and me.”

  …Roy?

  “The Disciples will leave you alone. I’ll make sure of that. You’ll get your girls back. I’ll get my stripes. They’ll ship me back to uniform for a while and, shit man; we might even be able to work together. You know what I mean?”

  There was a little man in my head with a pick-axe, methodically chopping away at everything that was right.

  “Why the fuck should I believe you, Bauer? You ain’t never taken any money from me before.”

  “I don’t want your money, Antoine. I’m not a dirty cop.”

  “You and Wade turned a blind eye on me more than once. That’s why I thought I could trust you.”

  “You weren’t running guns and you weren’t dealing drugs, Antoine. As long as you kept it to gambling and girls, we were willing to look the other way. Shit, you kept the gangs out of our beat and we were okay with that.”

  I can’t feel the cold anymore. Or the inferno in my shoulder. My chest is an anchor.

  “So what changed?”

  “Ambition, Antoine. Like I said. Wade wanted that promotion.”

  Every word out of his mouth is a razor slashing at my flesh.

  “You and me, huh, Bauer?”

  “You and me, Antoine.”

  And what about Mary, you asshole? And your kids? And my father? And me? And anyone else who ever trusted you?

  It was all gone. All sensation. All fear.

  “Fuck you, Bauer,” DeLee said.

  “No, Antoine, no!”

  I bolt up the three cement stairs in two steps and twist toward them, the Glock just a 10 mil extension of my right arm. DeLee is standing over Roy, his own arm extended and a pistol aimed squarely at Roy’s head. Roy’s face is buried beneath his sleeves, as if they could stop the bullets.

  I fire once. Twice. A third time. Each round strikes DeLee hard. He staggers and twitches with each impact and finally falls dead to the pavement.

  I angle toward them, cautiously and by the numbers, my gun trained on DeLee. My useless left arm is limp at my side. I hear Roy’s gasping beneath his arms. He doesn’t know what’s happened yet. He doesn’t know DeLee is dead. Or that I’m alive.

  DeLee’s gun is lying beside his lifeless fingers, but I nudge it away with my boot anyway. The gun grinds along the cement. Roy pulls his arm back and looks up into my face.

  “K-kid?”

  “Tell me you were just buying me time, Roy. That all that shit you were telling DeLee was just a bunch of crap.”

  “Come on, Kid. You know that’s all it was. I knew you were just waiting for the right time to—”

  “Why, Roy? You were like a brother to me. And Dad? He was your FTO. He was your mentor.”

  Roy’s face hardens. “Yeah, he was. But you were his son. I married his daughter, but do you think he cut me any breaks? Do you think he took care of me like he took care of you? Why the hell did you have to come on the job, anyway?”

  “This is all because you’re jealous of me?”

  If Roy could have, I’m sure he would have hit me just then. He leans up toward me, his cheeks ablaze with anger. “You prick! I’m so fucking tired of being right behind you. I couldn’t even get away from you in the Bureau. Not only do you make the Dicks, but you get assigned to my fucking squad! How the hell am I ever going to make rank with you around?”

  “So you set this up just to get promoted?”

  “No. Not this. DeLee set us up with that phony tip. I just wanted to look better than you for a change. I…I hadn’t planned on DeLee catching on. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”

  “The Disciples killed three of his girls, Roy. You’re an accessory to that.”

  “I…” Roy turns his head away.

  “What am I going to tell Mary?” I ask.

  “Wait, Kid. Jason. It can still work out. We can work this out.”

  “Work it out.”

  “Sure. DeLee is dead so this gang-war thing is over. We can say he set us up. Which he did. We can say he shot us both. Which he did. We can say you killed him saving my ass, which you did. We’re done. We’re both heroes and you can have the promotion. It’s yours, Ki—Jason. I don’t want it. Not now.”

  I look at him, at his wounds, and remember my own. I spot my portable radio a few feet away and head toward it. I pick up Roy’s gun from where he must have dropped it when he was first shot, and slide it into the pocket of my parka.

  “I’m calling it in. You need the paramedics.” My head starts to feel light again. “We both do.”

  “Jason, don’t do this to Mary. Think about how this will affect her. If I go to jail, I’ll lose my pension and she’ll get nothing. Nothing but grief and humiliation. She doesn’t deserve that, Jason. And neither do my kids. Your nieces, man. Your nieces. Think of the girls. Come on. You and me, Kid. You and me.”

  I turn back to him. “You and me? You said the same fucking thing to DeLee when you thought I was dead. You think that not taking money means you’re not a dirty cop? You’re worse, Roy. You’re worse.”

  I bend down for the portable.

  “I’m sorry, Kid.”

  I stop, my hand inches from the radio. It’s something in his tone that shoots an electric spark up my spine. I look at him.

  It’s ridiculous, but I actually see the bullet leave the chamber. I don’t hear the shot; it’s lost in a long, deep rumble somewhere in the back of my brain. My vision is sharp as a scalpel, and focused on Roy and DeLee’s gun in his hand. I see Roy’s hard, angry eyes over the sights. I see the round gyrate toward my head. And I see Mary’s sad, disappointed face.

  He’ll get that promotion after all. He’ll—

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  PEDRO DE ALARÇON (10 March 1833 – 19 July 1891) was a nineteenth century Spanish novelist
, noted for the novel El Sombrero de Tres Picos (The Three-Cornered Hat, 1874). The story is an adaptation of a popular tradition and provides a lively picture of village life in Alarcón’s native region of Andalusia. It was the basis for Hugo Wolf’s opera Der Corregidor (1897) and Manuel de Falla’s ballet The Three-Cornered Hat (1919).

  ARTHUR J. BURKS began writing in 1920, after being stationed in the Caribbean. Inspired by native voodoo rituals, he penned stories of the supernatural that he sold to the magazine Weird Tales. In 1928 he resigned from the Marine Corps and began writing full-time. He became one of the “million-word-a-year” men in the pulps by virtue of his tremendous output. He wrote in the neighborhood of 800 stories for the pulps, primarily in the genres of aviation, detective, adventure, and weird menace. He wrote several series for the pulps, including the Kid Friel boxing stories in Gangster Stories, and the Dorus Noel undercover-detective stories for All Detective Magazine, set in Manhattan’s Chinatown.

  EUSTACE COCKRELL was a pioneer television writer who worked on many early programs, including Have Gun Will Travel, Maverick, and Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Before that, he published over 100 short stories in pulp magazines such as Blue Book and Argosy, as well as in “slick” publications like Collier’s, Saturday Evening Post and The American Magazine.

  MERIAH L. CRAWFORD is a writer, an assistant professor at Virginia Commonwealth University, and a private investigator. Meriah’s published writing includes short stories about crime, vampires, demons, magic, vengeance, and 1920s conspiracies, as well as a variety of non-fiction work, and a poem about semi-colons. For more information, visit www.mlcrawford.com.

  RICHARD HARDING DAVIS (1864 – 1916) was a journalist and writer of fiction and drama, known foremost as the first American war correspondent to cover the Spanish-American War, the Second Boer War, and the First World War. His writing greatly assisted the political career of Theodore Roosevelt and he also played a major role in the evolution of the American magazine. His influence extended to the world of fashion and he is credited with making the clean-shaven look popular among men at the turn of the 20th century.

  DAVID DEAN’s short stories have appeared regularly in Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, as well as a number of anthologies, since 1990. His stories have been nominated for the Shamus, Barry, and Derringer Awards and “Ibrahim’s Eyes” won the EQMM Readers Award for 2007. His story, “Tomorrow’s Dead”, was a finalist for the Edgar for best short story of 2011. He is a retired Chief of Police in New Jersey and once served as a paratrooper with the 82nd Airborne Division. His groundbreaking horror novel, The Thirteenth Child, is now available through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Kobo Books.

  SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE remains most famous for his Sherlock Holmes detective stories.

  R. AUSTIN FREEMAN Richard Austin Freeman (1862 – 1943) was a British writer of detective stories, mostly featuring the medico-legal forensic investigator Dr. Thorndyke. He claimed to have invented the inverted detective story (a crime fiction in which the commission of the crime is described at the beginning, usually including the identity of the perpetrator, with the story then describing the detective’s attempt to solve the mystery). Freeman used some of his early experiences as a colonial surgeon in his novels. Many of his classic novels are in print from Wildside Press.

  JACQUES FUTRELLE (1875 – 1912) was an American journalist and mystery writer. He is best known for writing short detective stories featuring Professor Augustus S. F. X. Van Dusen, also known as “The Thinking Machine” for his application of logic to any and all situations. Futrelle died in the sinking of the RMS Titanic. Many of his best cases are collected in The Classic Tales of Jacques Futrelle, Volume One: The Thinking Machine.

  EMILE GABORIAU (1832 – 1873), was a French writer, novelist, and journalist, and a pioneer of modern detective fiction.

  ARTHUR GRIFFITHS (1872 – 1922) was an Irish politician and writer, who founded and later led the political party Sinn Féin. He served as President of Dáil Éireann from January to August 1922, and was head of the Irish delegation at the negotiations in London that produced the Anglo-Irish Treaty of 1921, attending with Michael Collins.

  JACK HALLIDAY is a modern author who follows in the hardboiled/noir tradition of crime writing. Wildside Press released his novel Kawanga and his short story collection Swan Song and Other Mystery Stories in 2012. Check them out for more great reads.

  DASHIELL HAMMETT (1894 – 1961) was an American author of hard-boiled detective novels and short stories, a screenplay writer, and political activist. Among the enduring characters he created are Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon), Nick and Nora Charles (The Thin Man), and the Continental Op (Red Harvest and The Dain Curse).

  THOMAS W. HANSHEW (1857 – 1914) was an American actor and writer. He went on the stage when only 16 years old, playing minor parts. Later he was associated with a publishing house in London, where he resided at the close of his life. He used, among others, the pen name “Charlotte May Kingsley,” and wrote more than 150 novels, some of which were co-authored with his wife, Mary E. Hanshew.

  CJ HENDERSON is the creator of the Jack Hagee hardboiled detective series, both the Teddy London and Piers Knight supernatural investigator series and many more. With 75 books and hundreds upon hundreds of short stories and comics on the shelf, it’s no wonder he’s so well-known. But, what prompted New Mystery Magazine to say “If, as some argue, the hardboiled private eye mystery story is a literary form on a par with the Japanese haiku or the Irish ballad, then Mr. Henderson deserves the mantle of literary master” can only be tied to his remarkable talent. For more of his relentless self-aggrandizement, please feel free to visit him at www.cjhenderson.com.

  Milwaukee attorney TED HERTEL. JR., received the Robert L. Fish Edgar Award for “My Bonnie Lies…” He is serving his second term on Mystery Writers of America’s National Board, is a past president of MWA Midwest, reviews for Deadly Pleasures, and has published numerous essays and short stories.

  H. BEDFORD-JONES (1887–1949)—born Henry James O’Brien Bedford-Jones—was a Canadian historical, adventure fantasy, science fiction, crime and Western writer who became a naturalized United States citizen in 1908. After being encouraged to try writing by his friend, writer William Wallace Cook, Bedford-Jones began writing dime novels and pulp magazine stories. Bedford-Jones was an enormously prolific writer; the pulp editor Harold Hersey once recalled meeting Bedford-Jones in Paris, where he was working on two novels simultaneously, each story on its own separate typewriter. Bedford-Jones cited Alexandre Dumas as his main influence, and wrote a sequel to Dumas’ The Three Musketeers, D’Artagnan (1928, in print from Wildside Press). He wrote over 100 novels, earning the nickname “King of the Pulps.”

  WILLIAM J. MAKIN is best known for his short story “The Doctor’s Secret,” filmed in 1939 as The Return of Doctor X and starring a young Humphrey Bogart. (It was Bogart’s only science fiction film.)

  JOHNSTON McCULLEY (1883 – 1958) was the author of hundreds of stories, fifty novels, numerous screenplays for film and television, and the creator of the character Zorro. Many of his novels and stories were written under the pseudonyms Harrington Strong, Raley Brien, George Drayne, Monica Morton, Rowena Raley, Frederic Phelps, alter Pierson, and John Mack Stone, among others.

  ROBERT J. MENDENHALL is a retired police officer and currently serves in the Air National Guard. An active member of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, his fiction has appeared in numerous print and online anthologies. He lives near Chicago with his wife and fellow writer Claire. And many animals.

  ARTHUR MORRISON (1863 – 1945) was an English writer and journalist known for his realistic novels and stories about working-class life in London’s East End, and for his detective stories, featuring the detective Martin Hewitt.

  VINCENT H. O’NEIL is the Malice Award-winning author of the Frank Cole mystery series released by St. Martin’s Press. He is also the author of the theater-themed mystery Death Troupe and the military science fiction
novel Glory Main, published under the name Henry V. O’Neil. Sample chapters, reviews, and links to all his works are available at his website, www.vincenthoneil.com.

  CATHERINE LOUISA PIRKIS (1841 – 1910) was a British author. She wrote numerous short stories and 14 novels between 1877 and 1894, and is perhaps best known today for her detective stories featuring Loveday Brooke, appearing in the Ludgate Magazine in 1894. A collection of her short stories, The Experiences of Loveday Brooke, Lady Detective, was released by Wildside Press in 2012.

  EDGAR ALLAN POE was an American author, poet, editor and literary critic, considered part of the American Romantic Movement. Best known for his tales of mystery and the macabre, Poe was one of the earliest American practitioners of the short story and is generally considered the inventor of the detective fiction genre.

  VINCENT STARRETT was an American writer and newspaperman. Starrett turned to writing mystery and supernatural fiction for the pulp magazines during the 1920s and 1930s. In 1920, he wrote a Sherlock Holmes pastiche entitled The Adventure of the Unique Hamlet (in print from Wildside Press). This story involved the detective with a missing 1604 edition of Shakespeare’s play, which included an inscription by the playwright. Starrett’s most famous work, The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, was published in 1933. He retired from The Chicago Tribune in 1967, where he had written a book column, “Books Alive,” for 25 years. He was one of the founders of The Hounds of the Baskerville (sic), a Chicago chapter of the Baker Street Irregulars.

  VICTOR L. WHITECHURCH (1868 – 1933) was a Church of England clergyman and author. He wrote many novels on different themes, but is probably best known for his detective stories featuring Thorpe Hazell. Whitechurch’s stories were admired by Ellery Queen and Dorothy L. Sayers for their “immaculate plotting and factual accuracy: he was one of the first writers to submit his manuscripts to Scotland Yard for vetting as to police procedure.”