Crave the Darkness: A Shaede Assassin Novel

by amanda bonilla

  Levi bent down, forcing me to look at him. “It’s on the house.”

  “Levi . . .” God, this was hard. “Let’s say someone wanted to break their bond with a Jinn. How would they go about doing it?”

  He rocked back on his heels, whistled low before leaning back toward me. “Why would you want to do something stupid like that? Ty’s a good guy.”

  Jesus. Did everyone know about our bond? “Do you know how to do it?”

  “Ty’s crazy about you, Darian. You go and do something like break your bond . . . it’s not gonna sit well with him.”

  Guess Levi didn’t get the memo about our breakup. “I doubt he’d mind.”

  “A binding like that—well, let’s just say it’s not a superficial thing. It’s soul deep. And if Tyler bound himself to you, it wasn’t because of a passing fancy. If you don’t know how to break it, I’m not going to be the one to tell you. I think for the time being you’d better stay away from rash decisions. If you break your bond with Tyler, it can’t ever be remade. It would do more damage than good at this point, and you’d be sorry.”

  I stabbed the straw to the bottom of my glass. “What makes you think you’re so goddamned smart?”

  He tilted his head to the side, a gesture that said, Come on.

  “Seems a little unfair to me. That’s all. Why should Ty know how to make the bond, but I’m not allowed to know how to break it? Since I’m the only one who can do it, you’d think that might be information I should be armed with.”

  Levi chuckled and moved to refresh my drink, but I stopped him. I wasn’t staying much longer. “Believe me, Darian. If you truly wanted to break your bond with Tyler, you’d know how to do it. You don’t need me to supply the information.”

  Cryptic. Figures. It seemed that people with knowledge of the supernatural got off on keeping the ignorant chasing their tails.

  I set my glass on the bar and shot Levi a withering, albeit affectionate, look. “Let me know if you find anything out about my symbol. In the meantime, I’ll try to get you at least a better sketch.”

  “See you around,” Levi said as I left. I cast a backward glance in his direction, unnerved by the wisdom in his young eyes. If only he was right about Ty. But our bond, no matter how soul deep it had once been, was now no deeper than a puddle.

  “Goin’ home, Darian?” The bouncer, Tiny, asked me the same question every time I left. Maybe he couldn’t think of anything better to say. It beat talking about the weather, at any rate.

  “Yep. I’ve had enough excitement for one night. See ya.”

  “Don’t be a stranger!” he called after me. “I miss seeing you around here!”

  “You got it.” I gave him my most earnest smile before I rounded the corner and became one with the dark night.

  * * *

  A week ago, I would’ve never admitted to feeling safe in Xander’s too-big house. But now, walking to my room in the quiet hours of night—or early morning, depending on your outlook—I felt protected. Secure.

  I closed the door to my suite, glad to see that it was clean, dusted, well kept. This room didn’t hold unpleasant memories. It was a fresh start. Just what I needed. I rolled my shoulders, for the first time aware of the tension that had settled in the middle of my back. I was ready for a good eight hours of sleep. And damn it, I deserved it. Anya was staying put for a couple of days, I had Levi working on the mysterious etchings. Adira—well, I was exhausted.

  Kicking off my boots, I pulled my shirt up over my head, extending my arms high to the ceiling before I tossed it to the floor. I stretched, bending sideways at the waist, turned my neck from one side to the other until it cracked. My eyelids drooped, heavy and ready to rest. I looked longingly at the bed . . .

  “Darian.” Xander barged through the door and froze. His eyes widened as he took in my almost naked upper half, pausing at my delicate red satin bra before bringing his gaze to my face.

  “Jesus,” I said, too shocked to do anything but stare back at him. “Don’t you ever knock?”

  Xander flashed a mischievous grin and backed out of the doorway, but not before glancing over every inch of my exposed flesh one last time before he shut the door. I struggled with my shirt, stuffing my head through the neck when he knocked.

  “My lady,” Xander said through the door. “I know the hour is late, but may I enter your private chamber?”

  Ugh. I couldn’t help but smile at his mock gallantry. “Might as well,” I called toward the door. “It’s not like you’re going to take no for an answer.”

  “That,” he said, closing the door behind him, “is true.”

  He crossed the room toward me, his eyes hungry, his gait graceful and sure. My stomach tightened as I watched him, a stirring as I remembered the way his lips felt on mine. Tyler is happy, I told myself. His girlfriend even came over in person just to drive that point home. And, damn it, didn’t I deserve a little happiness, too?

  “Your shirt’s on backward.” Xander’s voice was husky as he tugged at the dangling tag. “And inside out.”

  “Someone barged in on me. I had to put it back on in a hurry.”

  “My timing was off,” Xander said, brushing his thumb along my cheek. “I showed up a little too soon.”

  I felt a blush creep to my face. “How so?”

  He leaned down, put his lips near my ear. “A moment later, and I would’ve seen you with nothing on at all.”

  A riot of butterflies took flight from the pit of my stomach, rising toward my throat. I didn’t want to become another of Xander’s kept things, but, god, I wanted someone to want me.

  “Where did you go tonight?” he asked as he combed his fingers through my hair. His eyes delved into mine, so intense I had to look away.

  “To my apartment. Just wanted to check in.”

  “I missed you,” Xander breathed as he rested his mouth at my temple. The sensation of his hot breath sent pleasant shivers dancing across my skin.

  “I wasn’t gone that long,” I tried to laugh, but it came out stilted, nervous.

  “Long enough.”

  Xander pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. He sighed heavily, and we stood there for a moment in silence, my hands resting in his. “I came to wish you good night,” he said. “But now that I’m here, I find that I don’t want to leave.”

  Manipulator. Opportunist. I had to keep reminding myself of who the Shaede King really was. “Xander.” I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I only knew that I wasn’t ready for whatever was about to happen between us.

  He brushed his lips against mine, a whisper of a kiss. “Sleep well,” he said and kissed me one more time, just as soft. “Good night.”

  His hands lingered on mine as he pulled away. The door closed behind him, and I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. I rubbed at my chest, hard, willing that hollow ache to leave me once and for all.

  “Damn you, Tyler,” I whispered. “Damn you for making me love you.”

  Chapter 14

  Just like he promised, Raif kept Anya on a short leash for a couple of weeks. It ensured her safety, but damn, I was bored. I spent most of my free time sparring in the gym with members of my team. I’ve never been much of a people person, but I found myself enjoying their company. Nothing brings a group together like comparing bruises and cuts.

  I kept my distance from Xander. It wasn’t too hard. He had kingly business—whatever that was—to keep him busy, and since I’d decided that the king’s strange obsession with making sure I ate regularly had to come to an end, I’d begun to eat more of my meals in the kitchen or my room. It’s not that I was avoiding him per se, I just wasn’t sure I wanted to fall victim to his persuasion tactics again. He knew which of my buttons to push—and not just the physical ones—and I’d succumbed to his manipulation too easily to think that it wouldn’t happen again. I thought about Tyler every day, despite the pain it caused me. How could I possibly move forward with my life when the memory of Ty
kept pulling me back?

  “I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon.”

  I looked up from the book I’d been reading—a retelling of the Arthurian legend—to find Anya staring down at me. “Can’t the doctor come to you?”

  “No.” The sound of her leather-booted toe tapping on the hardwood made my eye twitch. “They’re doing an ultrasound today, and frankly, if I have to sit in this house for one more second, I’m going to kill someone.”

  “Then tell me who’s got it out for you and you can go your merry way any time you want.”

  “Go to hell, Darian.”

  “Keep jerking me around, Anya, and you’ll beat me there.”

  Anya clamped her jaw down tight and rested her hands on her hips. Her fawn-brown leather ensemble hugged every curve of her body; the pregnancy hadn’t even begun to show. How much longer was she going to dress like this? I mean, shouldn’t she be wearing some trendy maternity outfit? Violet eyes glowed with defiance, staring out at me from beneath her long, black lashes. I didn’t know why we rubbed each other the wrong way, but we did. No amount of quality time was going to change that, either.

  “An ultrasound, huh?” Why not change the subject? Anya had no intention of telling me who was after her. It would be a waste of energy to keep trying. “What does that entail?”

  Anya’s hands instinctively moved low on her stomach. “I have no idea. I suppose they’ll be checking to make sure everything’s all right with the baby.”

  I was annoyed with Anya because she was being difficult. I’d failed to acknowledge the fact that she might be worried or even . . . scared about her current situation. According to Xander, Shaede pregnancies were rare. That alone put Anya in the spotlight. Add to that the fact that she couldn’t leave the house without armed guards . . . Well, maybe her plate was a little too full.

  “What time’s your appointment?” I sighed. At least I’d be getting out of the house. I was bored, after all.

  “Three o’clock.”

  I brought the book up to my face, effectively blocking her out. “We’ll be ready.”

  * * *

  “’Bout time they let her off her leash,” Julian said, rubbing his hands together. “I hope we see some action. I’m ready to crack some skulls.”

  I’d have been worried if Myles said it, but since Julian never took anything too seriously, I knew it was just flashy talk. Julian, Anya, Asher, and I rode in the first car while Dimitri, Liam, Louella, and Myles rode in the second car. I’d abandoned my low-key approach, making sure the identical bulletproof SUVs rode together down the street. I instructed our driver to take back streets, though. I might’ve been brazen, but I wasn’t stupid.

  Anya seemed to ignore Julian’s comment, instead looking back to the car behind us every few seconds, making sure they still trailed close. She seemed more nervous having Dimitri out in the world than she was being out herself. Interesting.

  The clinic was located in Pioneer Square, a private facility catering specifically to the supernatural community. Xander’s private doctor had an office there, and though security was tight, there were far too many people for me to feel comfortable.

  Nestled between Julian and Asher, Anya fidgeted in her seat. Just watching her made me nervous, and I sure as hell didn’t need the added stress. We arrived at the clinic without incident, but I didn’t expect an attack while we drove. If Anya’s attacker had a personal grudge, he’d want to see the whites of her eyes when he killed her. He could have easily immobilized her with the sniper rifle the first time she’d been attacked, allowing for a quick, easy end to her life. His intention hadn’t been to kill her. He’d sent her a message.

  “Darian, wait,” Anya said as Julian and Myles filed out of the car. I sat with my door half open and turned to face her. “If anything should happen, make sure Dimitri is safe first.”

  “Xander isn’t paying me to protect Dimitri.” I found it curious that she assumed her husband was in danger. “I doubt he would want me putting his safety before yours, either.”

  “I don’t care what Xander or Dimitri want,” Anya snapped. “I want you to keep him safe. If anything happens to him, I’m laying the blame at your feet.”

  I didn’t answer her. We would only have continued to argue. If I failed to keep her safe, I wouldn’t just have Xander to worry about. I was doing double duty, not only keeping an eye on Anya, but also her child. Dimitri’s child. If anything happened to either of them, I doubted I’d want to face him.

  The nice thing about the clinic was that we didn’t have to play covert ops. Staffed with supernatural beings, there was no need to hide our weapons, what we were, or our purpose for being there. My team was efficient, scanning the entire clinic for weaknesses, places where someone could sneak in undetected. I posted Myles at the entrance, Julian at the rear, and Liam covered the perimeter of the building, watching for anything suspicious. Asher and Louella had been delegated the task of sweeping the clinic, and while they secured the unoccupied exam rooms, I escorted Anya and Dimitri to the ultrasound room.

  I wondered at the normality of it all. A nurse walked in, her scrubs as standard as any human nurse’s. She had a clipboard and a medical chart, blood-pressure cuff, electronic thermometer, all the standard medical equipment. I don’t know what I expected . . . supernatural accoutrements for a supernatural patient? Shaedes weren’t much different from humans, really. I guess it stood to reason she’d be treated just like any other person, medically speaking.

  When the nurse asked Anya to get undressed, I took it as my cue to leave. I did not want to see her wrestle with peeling all that leather off her body. Thank god Dimitri was there to help her with the zipper at her back. With loving care, he moved her long braid aside, draping it over her shoulder, and kissed her neck as he pulled down the zipper. I averted my gaze, embarrassed to witness their moment of intimacy. When I heard her pulling the leather top from her shoulders I looked up—and froze.

  On her left shoulder, just to the side of her shoulder blade, was a tattoo. Smaller than my fist, but not by much, the ink looked like henna mixed with some kind of shimmery substance, like a fine mist of glitter, or moonlight. The symbol was unmistakably the same one etched into the fifty-caliber bullets Raif had pulled from Anya’s car: a crescent moon sitting on its back with a serpent coiled around it. The tattoo was every bit as intricate as the engraving on the bullets. It almost pulsed with life, like it fed off Anya’s energy, seeming more like a part of her skin than a simple tattoo.

  I took a step forward, prepared to shake some information out of her if I had to, when a timid knock came at the door and the ultrasound tech entered the room. Damn it. I stepped out of his way, deciding this wasn’t the time or the place for an interrogation and left them to their private moment. I’d have my opportunity to question her, and she wasn’t going to put me off again.

  I paced the hallway, trying to shake the sensation that the walls were closing in on me. Something prickled my senses, a subconscious stirring that caused me to feel like my skin was shrinking, hell-bent on suffocating me. I headed for the reception area for a little space and a lot more oxygen when the explosion nearly knocked me off my feet. One by one, the windows shattered, the sound rippling in a palpable wave. Jesus Christ. First day out of the house, and Anya attracted attention before we could even settle her in. As if I didn’t have enough to process, my earpiece rang with the chatter of my team members talking over one another, each trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

  “Julian, get the cars ready to roll, we’ll be out in five!” I had to get Anya the hell out of here. Now.

  The clinic wasn’t huge, but I felt exposed with only five other bodies to provide cover. The hallway leading to the exam rooms was too fucking narrow, leaving only one way in—or out. If we stayed here, she’d be easily cornered and there was no way in hell I’d allow Anya to be caught.

  As I headed for the ultrasound room, I picked up snatches of my team’s conversation.
Liam had taken up Julian’s post at the rear of the building, and Louella was helping to get the clinic’s employees and other patients to safety. Good girl. “Julian, we’re coming out the back, meet us in the alley.”

  “I’m on it!”

  “Liam, you see anything?”

  “Not a fucking thing,” he said. “It’s too damn calm, Darian. No attack, no rush on the building. What gives? This guy’s just going to break some windows and run off? Doesn’t make sense.”

  I slowed down, took stock of everything I’d seen and heard. “Julian, hold up. Wait for us out back, engine running. But I’m not rushing anyone out. Not yet.” Liam had a point. After breaking every window in the goddamned building, the next step would have been to rush in, take advantage of the confusion, and strike while we were weak.

  “Myles, you see anything out front?”

  “Nothing. And I mean that literally. Something’s goin’ down, I think there’s a glamour over the building. The street is crawling with humans, and none of them noticed the explosion. They’re totally oblivious. No sirens, no cops either.”

  Fuck. I was afraid of that. “Don’t leave your post. Tell me if you see anything out of the ordinary.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  I ignored Myles’s last comment and drew my katana from the sheath at my back. I missed my duster in moments like this. Crazy, I know. I hadn’t worn it out of fear it would hinder me in a fight, and being without it made me feel like I was heading out to battle without a shield. “Asher, where are you?” Silence answered me. “Asher?” Again, nothing. Goddamn it, where was that kid? “Ash! Answer me.”

  Damn it, I didn’t have time to play babysitter. I tore the earpiece from my ear; I couldn’t concentrate with all of my team members talking at once. The shattered windows had been meant to drive us from the protection of the building, and I’d almost fallen for it. When I barged into the exam room, Anya was pulling on her boots. Tears welled in her violet eyes, but I couldn’t tell if they were tears of anger or fear. “We’re leaving?”