Crave the Darkness: A Shaede Assassin Novel

by amanda bonilla

  Smug Caitlin helped me step out of the dress, put it on its hanger, and zip it up in a plastic garment bag. We also managed to agree on a pair of matching green heels that wouldn’t kill me if I moved at any pace faster than a crawl.

  I stifled a yawn and looked at the clock on my desk. It was only three o’clock in the afternoon, but I’d been up most of the previous night. “So, are we done here?” I asked.

  “I think so,” Caitlin answered as if making a mental note. “The ball isn’t for a couple of days; we’ll address issues like hair and makeup the day of if that’s all right with you?”

  “Ball . . .” I said. “As in . . .”

  “It’s a PNT soirée,” Caitlin said. “Their annual dignitary’s ball. Didn’t His Majesty tell you?”

  No, His Majesty did not. Well, Xander had said we’d be going to an event. I should have known it wasn’t simply going to be an intimate cocktail party. “He didn’t exactly mention what it was we’d be attending,” I said.

  Caitlin looked like she was about to throw up. “Did I ruin a surprise?” she asked.

  “No,” I said, offhand. “Your king just gets off on being vague.”

  Eyes focused on the floor, I got the impression Caitlin wasn’t sure if she should laugh at my comment or not. I just couldn’t get used to all of the royal pomp and circumstance. “I’ll notify the king that everything’s been taken care of. If you don’t need anything else, Darian, I’ll leave you to your day.”

  Thank god. I was so ready to fall face-first on the bed and pass out. “Sounds great,” I said, already heading toward the comfort of the memory foam mattress. If I ever moved back into my apartment, that mattress was moving with me. “See you around, Caitlin.”

  “Good day, Darian,” she said, closing the door behind her.

  Hello, bed, I thought as I dove onto the pillows. I’ve missed you. I hadn’t realized how much Kade’s little smooch had drained me. Sluggish, not to mention teetering on the edge of loopy, I knew I wasn’t just sleep deprived. The Cambion had stolen something from me with his impassioned kiss. And I had no idea how long it would take to recoup my depleted energy. Or was it life essence? I had no fucking clue. As I drifted toward sleep, I thought about what Ty had said to me. I was always jealous of Azriel. Or more to the point, I was jealous of the past you shared with him. What had he been trying to tell me? I tried to find my way through the fog of exhaustion to coherent thought, but Raif’s words mingled with Tyler’s, confusing me even more. I saw hunger in the demon’s eyes.

  I’d seen that hunger, felt Kade’s rapt attention as my energy nourished him. And experienced the resulting momentary euphoria from his touch.

  Damn, I thought as sleep finally overtook me. I’m so fucked.

  Chapter 22

  “Ah, to be an aristocrat’s wife.”

  Juliana Brighton all but sighed as she ran her fingers down the silk draperies Henry had just purchased for our great room. In fact, I’d never seen anyone look at drapery the way she did. Her eyes practically rolled back in her head, and I could have sworn I’d heard a moan escape her lips. I wondered, as I looked on, what could possibly be so appealing about curtains.

  “You’re certainly lucky, Darian. Henry lavishes you with such fine things. Bernard has put an end to my spending, for a while at least. He says he’ll have to build a larger house to accommodate all of the new furniture if I continue to purchase new pieces!” She laughed as if frivolity was somehow amusing. If the local gossip had any merit to it, Bernard Brighton had lost half of his fortune in a bad investment. If Juliana wasn’t careful, he’d be selling off her expensive acquisitions one piece at a time.

  “More tea?” It was the only response I could think of. Though truthfully, I hoped she’d decline and go home. I’d been entertaining the local socialite for an hour and she’d already overstayed her welcome by a good fifty-five minutes. I was obligated to be an accommodating hostess, though. And if I managed to offend Juliana Brighton in any way, Henry would not be pleased. I absentmindedly massaged my upper arm, the bruises still tender from my husband’s abuse the night before. The last thing I wanted was for my husband to not be pleased.

  “I really must be going,” Juliana answered. “I only stopped by to formally invite you to our Christmas Eve celebration. Only the most important people will be there, of course.”

  “Of course,” I murmured.

  “I can’t wait to see your gown,” Juliana sighed. “No doubt Henry will dress you up in something fine and impossibly expensive. He wouldn’t dare have you out in public in anything less.”

  I smiled, resisting the urge to tell Juliana exactly what I thought about their lavish get-togethers. I hated them. Even now, the thought of being paraded around on Henry’s arm, nothing more than a pretty ornament, another thing used to proclaim his status, made my stomach knot tight with nerves. I wanted to live a quiet life, a peaceful life where I was loved and cherished for the woman I was on the inside, not a superficial symbol of a match well made. I wanted free of this existence, but for me, there was no escape.

  “Well, I must be off,” Juliana exclaimed as if the world waited with bated breath to do her bidding. “I hired new kitchen staff last week and want to make sure they’re doing their jobs properly. Bernard wasn’t happy with our last cook. We do have to please our husbands, don’t we?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. “We certainly do.”

  * * *

  If Xander’s house were cut down the middle, one half pressed up against a large pane of glass, I’d bet it would resemble an ant colony in many ways. Everyone rushed to do his bidding, to make his house picture-perfect every day. Cooks who spent their entire day preparing lavish meals, staff who kept his already immaculate home clean, secretaries, assistants, and whatnot. It reminded me of a life I’d been desperate to escape in my human existence. And I’d traded my humanity for that escape.

  I didn’t like the idle time. I despised being fawned over by Xander’s staff. They treated me like the lady of the house, asking for my opinion, my . . . permission. A familiar anxiety took root in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know how much more I could take.

  Raif had duties that took him away from the house, and Xander was so busy ruling his kingdom, I hadn’t seen him once since our hot night of almost-sex. That’s not to say he didn’t call me between this meeting or that, and with his house full of eager staff, I never wanted for anything.

  I was lonely, though.

  “I’m not getting a damn thing accomplished,” Xander said when I answered the phone. “You’re all I can think about. I need to feel your bare skin, and make love to you for at least a full twenty-four hours before I’ll be sated. And maybe not even then.”

  “Lofty goals, Your Highness,” I said. The High King of Manly Prowess, among other things. “But with the way things are going, I doubt you have twenty-four minutes free, let alone a full day’s worth of hours.”

  “I should be home in an hour or two. We can have a late dinner together. And afterward.” He sighed. “Ah, my love . . . the wicked things I’m going to do to you. . . .”

  “Umm . . .”

  “Darian,” Xander’s velvet voice carried an edge of frustration. “Do not tell me you’re not going to have dinner with me.”

  I rolled my eyes. Xander and his damn meals. I swore his entire day revolved around eating and making sure that I ate. I wondered if all males possessed some primal urge to feed their females. As if their genetic makeup demanded that they provide sustenance. I didn’t think having my meals prepared by a staff of professional chefs counted in Xander’s favor, however.

  The sun had been past the horizon for an hour already, and tonight was Anya’s last night of bed rest. Tomorrow night I’d be trussed up in green satin and heels for the PNT soirée. Levi had finally managed to track down a lead on breaking Kade’s bond. I was running out of time, and I had to use this opportunity to go after the pain-in-the-ass Cambion before he got his hands on Dimitri, Anya, or both. Oh
, right, dinner. I’d almost forgotten. “Fine, I won’t tell you that. Just don’t expect to see me in your dining room tonight.”

  “You’re not going to be home when I get there, are you?”

  For some reason, when Xander referred to his house as home it made me break out into a cold sweat. The term was so damn . . . domestic. And he used it with such casual ease. Like, Honey, I’m home! or some shit. Donna Reed, I wasn’t. Xander had to know that.

  “I’m working tonight,” I said. “Anya’s still confined to her suite, and I need to try and track Kade down before he manages to cause any more trouble.”

  “Send your team after the demon,” Xander said. “You don’t utilize them enough. That’s what I gave them to you for.”

  Oh, I was going to utilize them, all right. Raif refused to let me set foot out the front door without them. “I’m using my team,” I said. I checked the edge of my dagger before slipping it into the sheath at my thigh. “But I’ll be damned if I just sit here, useless, barking orders.”

  “You infuriate me,” Xander said. I could almost picture him folding his arms across his chest as he pouted. “I command an entire kingdom, and I can’t get one slip of a woman to do as I ask.”

  “Wow, Xander,” I said, making sure a sufficient amount of snark leaked through in my tone. “That’s a real progressive attitude you’re sporting. Where’d you pick that up, anyway? I’m thinking sometime around 1412 . . .”

  “You’re not funny.” Xander snorted.

  “I’m hilarious.”

  Xander sighed again, and this time it had nothing do with wistful fantasies. “I’ll wait up for you.”

  “You don’t have to.” I strapped my katana on my back. Time to go.

  “I’m afraid I do. Be careful tonight.”

  “Always,” I said, before disconnecting the call.

  Too impatient for even my preternatural speed, I blew down the stairs as nothing more than a wisp of shadow. Incorporeality had its benefits, but it didn’t do shit for tension headaches. There wasn’t enough Excedrin on the planet for the sharp pain that had begun to pulse between my temples. Xander stressed me the fuck out. I had enough on my plate dealing with Anya and Kade. Couldn’t he see that this was not the time to go all neglected lover on me? And what gave him the right to even try? True, we’d been about to seal the deal the other night, but after my earlier encounter with Tyler, I knew I wasn’t even close to being over him yet. What was brewing between Xander and me was more like—

  “Let’s rock this bitch!” Julian said with his usual gusto, materializing before me in the foyer.

  One by one each member of my team recovered their corporeal forms, standing in a semicircle near Xander’s front door. Julian’s enthusiasm was admirable. I wished I felt the same. But for what I was about to do, I’d need more than a goddamned pep talk.

  “I need everyone on task tonight,” I said, my gaze roaming over both Asher and Myles. “Anyone not prepared to follow my orders to the T, better just stay right here for the night. I’m not putting up with any bullshit. Got it?”

  Myles nodded solemnly, but Asher just grinned. I suppressed the groan that threatened to rise up my throat but I couldn’t do anything about my eyes rolling. That kid was going to be the death of me. “If I set out a task for you, you do it. No questions asked. Kade’s got an ace in the hole, his very own Jinn. And whereas that wouldn’t normally bother me too much, he’s learned how to make the most of his wishing experience. He’s beyond dangerous.”

  “Shit,” Julian scoffed. “I’m not worried. Bastard’s goin’ down tonight.”

  “Gods, Julian,” Liam joked from my left side. “Does your mouth ever quit running?”

  “Hater!” Julian coughed into his fist.

  “Fuck you,” Liam said with a grin.

  “Both of you shut up.” I didn’t have the patience for any frat-boy antics. But at least I knew Liam would be on task. Maybe I should have left the rest of the team home and taken the hulking, tattooed Shaede as my backup. God knew he’d be able to hold his own in a fight. “Let’s go,” I said, jerking my chin toward the door. “We haven’t got all night, and I want to wrap this up.”

  “Ladies first,” Julian said, sweeping his arm in front of the group to open a path for Louella. She snorted and brushed past him, jabbing her elbow into his ribs as she swung open the door.

  Julian’s gallantry ended at the petite, dark-haired beauty, though. He stumbled after her like a puppy, leaving the rest of us to trail behind. I’d have to separate those two before someone—namely Julian—got distracted. And killed in the process.

  Since we didn’t have anyone to cart around security-procession-style, we traveled as our shadow-selves. Not having to worry about a vehicle or who was going to drive it made for one less logistical issue. In fact, if for some reason I had to continue carting Anya around for the next few months or so, I was going to insist we travel only at night. When we were stronger. Why had I not thought of this before?

  When we arrived at Tyler’s building, my stress levels ratcheted up to an almost incomprehensible level. You’d think I wouldn’t feel like most of my internal organs were on the verge of bursting into flames at this point. But every time I laid my eyes on him, my wounded soul was torn asunder to reveal fresh, raw damage.

  “Julian,” I murmured as I tipped my head back to gaze at the penthouse floor. “I want you to go with me to The Pit.”

  He cocked his head curiously. “Are you talking that bar over in Belltown?”

  “That’s the one. There’s a bartender there—Levi. He’s got something I want and we’re going to go get it.”

  “And exactly what is it we’ll be picking up?”

  I tore my gaze from Ty’s building to look at Julian. “Information. You’re the genius, right? Well, Levi’s pretty damn smart, too. Between the three of us, we can figure out a way to put Kade down once and for all. I want to learn everything about him, right down to the bastard’s favorite breakfast cereal.”

  Julian cast a wary glance at Louella and nodded.

  “Cambions, too,” I said as an afterthought. “I want details. If they’re rare, how they relate with their Succubus and Incubus families . . . all of it. And after that, Levi is going to tell us how to break a Jinn bond.”

  “And after that?” Julian asked as though I’d told him we were going to bring peace to the Middle East and end global hunger in one fell swoop.

  “After that,” I said, “we’re going to break a few rules.”

  I knew Julian wasn’t listening. His eyes had strayed to Louella again. It didn’t take much to realize he was nervous. Anxious about leaving her. If I hadn’t been such a brokenhearted cynic, I might have felt bad. Maybe. “Julian,” I barked, grabbing him by his collar. “On. Task.”

  “Right,” he said, giving his head a little shake.

  “Can she fight?” I asked, looking him dead in the eye.

  “Yes.”

  “Is she capable of taking care of herself?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “Could she kick your ass?”

  A smile broke out on Julian’s face. “And then some.”

  “Then don’t worry about her. The team’s got her back.”

  From the corner of my eye, I noticed Asher inching his way toward us. He’d been listening to our conversation, the little sneak. I’d show him how I felt about that. “Ash, I want you to stay here with the rest of the team. Keep an eye on the building and watch for any sign of Kade.”

  His light amber eyes seemed to glow brighter than usual against the backdrop of night, and his jaw took on a stubborn set. He gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. “I’m going with you.”

  I’d known our talk the other day hadn’t completely sunk in. That didn’t mean I thought his punk-ass would disobey a direct order right here in front of the entire team, however. “I’m taking Myles as additional backup,” I said, my voice sharp enough to cut glass.

  “You need me,” he sa
id.

  Either the other members of my team were too distracted to pay us much attention, or they were really good at pretending not to listen. I had too much on my plate right now for the added stress. Asher wasn’t a threat to me or the team. On the contrary, I had a feeling he’d put his body in the path of a bullet for me. But why the cocky lone wolf routine? And why did he feel the need to supersede my commands?

  “What the hell’s with you, anyway?” I finally said through gritted teeth. “This isn’t up for debate. You’re staying here.”

  In two long strides, Asher was standing nose to nose with me. He moved his head to the side and leaned in so close that I could feel his breath in my ear. “Darian,” he said. “Leave Myles with the team. You need me to come with you. Trust me.”

  Trust him? I wanted to punch him in the face. “You have done nothing to convince me that I should trust you.”

  “You need me,” was all Asher said in answer.

  When had I so totally lost control of him? For that matter, had I ever had control? “What I need is for you to do as I say. Dealing with your constant disobedience is a time suck we can’t afford right now. Every minute wasted is a minute tipped to Kade’s advantage.” I sighed. “I could just send you back to Raif . . .”

  “You could,” Asher murmured. “But I wouldn’t advise it.”

  “Maybe you didn’t get the memo, Ash. I’m in charge here, not you. So you don’t advise me of anything. Got it?” I didn’t have time for this shit. And whereas I knew the best course of action right now was to send Asher right the fuck back to Xander’s house, something in my gut told me I’d be better off bringing him along. Damn it. Until I could unravel Asher’s secrets, I had a feeling it would be best to keep him close. “Myles.” My voice was a controlled burn, scalding its way up my throat. “Stay here with the rest of the team. Watch out for anything unusual.” Wouldn’t you know, Myles didn’t even bat a lash. “And one more thing . . .”