“Why didn’t you just ask me about him? And can I say that I’m absolutely shocked that I haven’t mentioned him before, but I can see where I may have forgotten. I’ve been a little wrapped up in…well, you lately.”
Hudson gives me a small smile and shrugs. “I was nervous. I didn’t want to ruin anything by sounding jealous. Plus, there was Joey. I guess I felt you were entitled to your past as much as I am mine. I didn’t tell you about her so why should you have to disclose your past—and non-existent, apparently—relationship with Perry,” he confesses. “And I really don’t remember you mentioning him. I mean you said you had a cousin but never mentioned a name. I guess you not mentioning his name is only fair though. It made me worry a little. It was like Karma springing Joey on you.”
“You’re right. Paybacks suck, huh?” I say.
Hudson sighs loudly. “I am so sorry, Rae,” he says quietly.
I know he’s not just talking about the Perry thing but also about Joey. I don’t know what to say because it’s kind of not okay. I know that we’ve only been seeing one another for a couple weeks, but he should have said something. I mean, this is huge. Very huge. I don’t really know what to do with it all either. I’ve never dated anyone with a child because I’m terrible with them, especially little girls for some reason. I think it stems from not really having a mom growing up and only having my dad around. I just connect with boys better. So this? Yeah, this wasn’t something that I was ever expecting.
So, I go with one thing I’m certain of. “I know you are, Hudson. Right now though, I’m not sure what to do. I like you. Like really, really like you,” I tell him, repeating the words he spoke earlier because they are true. He gives me a small smile. “I just don’t know to feel about anything else. Like you, I don’t want to hurt your daughter. I just know that children have always been a difficult task for me.” I watch as his shoulders sink—as if they are carrying too much weight—and his head drop. “But I’m willing to try.”
Hudson slowly lifts his head, locking his eyes onto mine. “Are you… are you sure?”
I nod. “I am.”
He takes my hands and kisses my cheek quickly. “Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything,” he says seriously.
“What’s with the cuss jar?”
He chuckles. “My parents used to have one for me when I was a kid. Figured I’d carry on the tradition. You should see the thing. It’s so full between Tucker, Gaige, and me.”
That tugs on my heartstrings. It’s so sweet that he carried that on from his childhood.
“Um, Daddy? I’m bored,” Joey says, suddenly appearing from around the corner. “Can we watch another movie, please? This time with Rae.”
Hudson turns toward Joey who’s now standing at the end of the couch. “No way, bug. It’s past your bedtime.”
“But we have a guest! It would be rude to go to sleep now,” she says with such bravery.
I can see the exact moment Hudson gives in to his daughter. It’s obvious he loves his little girl. “Fine, fine. You win. But just a few episodes of Adventure Time.”
“Deal. Can I sit there?” she asks, pointing to the small spot between Hudson and me.
Hudson looks to me for approval. I nod. “Of course! Come here, kiddo,” I tell her, scooting over some and patting the spot beside me.
“I’m parched. You girls want anything?” Hudson asks, heading toward the small kitchen.
“Apple juice, please, Daddy,” Joey requests.
Ah, now the apple juice makes sense. “Same for me, please.”
He smiles big and disappears.
I look over and study the child sitting next to me. If I were to ever see Hudson and Joey out together, there would never be a doubt in my mind that Joey was Hudson’s daughter. She has shiny jet-black hair just like her father. Hers is cut into a cute shoulder-length bob. Her skin is the same tanned tone as Hudson’s. She even has his nose. The only difference is her eyes. While Hudson’s are a beautiful, captivating mix of blue and green, hers are all bright blue. She’s adorable.
“You’re pretty. I like your hair,” Joey suddenly says.
“Thank you. I was just thinking the same thing about yours. You look a lot like your Daddy.”
She giggles. “All the people we meet say that. Even Nanna. She’s at the hospital tonight. Mr. Matthews fell off the roof.”
“Oh, that’s terrible! I sure hope he’ll be alright.”
“He’s old but he’s tough. That’s what Nanna told me in the car ride here.”
I smother a laugh. A child’s lack of filter has always been my favorite thing. Usually the only part that I can really relate to.
“Okay, ladies. I come bearing apple juices,” Hudson says, setting down the cups. Joey immediately goes for hers and drinks down half the glass. “Whoa, slow down, dude. That’s all you’re getting before bed so you better savor it.”
“Fine,” Joey says dejectedly.
Hudson reaches for the remote and turns on the flat screen. He looks to Joey. “Do you know what time it is?”
“ADVENTURE TIME!” she shouts.
They fist bump. My heart melts.
We spend the next hour—because it turns out the episodes are only about ten minutes each and every time Joey said “one more, please,” Hudson gave in—watching a show about an awkward kid and his stretchy yellow dog.
I can say with certainty that it was probably one of the most fun nights I’ve ever had and I wasn’t even expecting it.
Hudson finally reaches up and clicks off the television. “Alright, kiddo. Bedtime. Go potty and brush your teeth, please.”
“Will you read to me after?”
He winks at her. “You got it.” She tries to wink back, fails miserably, and scurries off to the bathroom.
I watch Hudson watch her. The love on his face is evident and breathtaking. He looks so happy being with his daughter. It’s truly beautiful to watch.
“You scared off yet?” he asks, turning back to me.
“Nah. She’s actually really adorable. She looks and acts just like you.”
He rolls his eyes. “I know. Scares the crap out of me.”
“DAWWY! FIFWY CWENTS! CWAP COUNTS!” Joey yells from the bathroom, apparently with a mouth full of toothpaste.
We laugh.
“Sorry,” Hudson whispers to me. “She’s still working on that whole manners thing.”
“Again: adorable. Do you ever charge her for saying bad words?”
He laughs and shakes his head. “No. It’s actually for her college fund. Between Tucker and Gaige, she’s sitting pretty right about now. And I’m sure after tomorrow she’ll have at least twenty more bucks.”
“Tomorrow?” I ask before I can help myself.
“Movie night with Joey. Something we do every month or so.”
“You, Gaige, and Tucker?”
He nods. “And my mom. We all sit around, eat junk food, and watch whatever movies Joey wants. She usually makes it through two before she passes out.”
I laugh because I can just picture Gaige and Tucker during that whole thing. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”
“It is. You should come.”
Uh, what? Did he just invite me to meet his mom? Can I do that? I think I can. I actually kind of want to. And by some miracle I only work tomorrow during the lunch rush.
“You can say no, Rae. I won’t be mad,” Hudson offers, mistaking my silence for me saying no.
“Actually, I’d love to.”
He squints his eyes and tilts his head some. “Really?”
“Really, really. I think it’d be fun.”
Hudson claps his hands once and rubs them together. “Great!” He walks into the kitchen and then right back out. He hands me a piece of paper. “Here’s my mom’s address. Is five okay?”
“Perfect.”
“Perfect,” he copies.
Just then, Joey run
s out of the bathroom in some Adventure Time jammies that were clearly intended for boys. “Ready, Daddy!”
“Dude, what did I say about running in the apartment?” Hudson says sternly, his hands on his hips. I get the feeling that this is his “dad stance” that he breaks out when he means serious business. Can’t say that I don’t like it. It’s doing wonders for his ass right about now.
Joey’s little shoulders drop and she hangs her head. “Don’t,” she says quietly.
“Right. And why is that?”
She lifts her head and scrunches her nose up. “‘Cause you said so?” she guesses.
“Good enough for me,” Hudson shrugs. “Come on, let’s get you tucked in.”
He starts steering her toward his bedroom. Joey turns back and looks at me. “Come on, Rae! Dad reads the best stories!”
I look to Hudson because I’m not sure how to answer her.
“Yeah, come on. We’re reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. And I’m apparently really good at it.”
I shrug and follow them to the bedroom. I stop in the doorway and watch as Hudson tucks Joey into his bed. Rocky jumps up there too, circling for a spot until he’s comfortable. They all curl up close together—Joey under the blankets, Hudson lying on top of them, and Rocky on Joey’s legs.
He’s so gentle and patient with her. “Okay, dude, you ready?”
“Ready, Freddy!”
With that, Hudson begins reading. Joey is so entranced. And she was right; he’s good. Really good, actually. He even does all the different voices. It’s pretty entertaining.
I take a moment to glance around Hudson’s bedroom. It’s as plain as the rest of the apartment. Only there are a ton of photographs of Joey and her drawings hung up in here. The walls are all white, the striped blue bedspread being the main source of color in the room. It’s all very simple. I don’t even see a dresser. Guess he wasn’t kidding when he said he wasn’t supposed to be here long.
“Okay, that’s it for tonight.”
“But Dad! Things are happening! Important things!”
Hudson chuckles. “As great as an argument that is, you gotta get some sleep if you want to have movie night tomorrow.”
“Movie night! Okay, hurry up and kiss me then. I need sleep!”
That gets a laugh out of me.
I watch as Hudson tucks the blankets a little tighter around Joey, careful not to disturb Rocky, and gives her a kiss on the forehead. She puts her little hands on his head and kisses his forehead right back. I can feel my chest tighten. If there was ever a perfect moment between a father and daughter, it was that.
“Goodnight, bug. Sleep good, have good dreams—no weird ones,” he tells her gently, backing away from the bed.
“Mmkay. Goodnight, Daddy. I love you.”
“I love you most.”
“I love you mostest.”
His smile lights up the room. My heart stops.
In the future, if I’m ever asked when exactly it was that I fell in love with Hudson Tamell, I’d tell them right now. In this exact moment, I fall in love with his smile, his voice, the way he loves his daughter all at once. Because this moment? It’s perfect.
Holy batman! That really just happened! I gulp loudly. Not only did it just happen, but I’m surprisingly okay with it. I think. Maybe.
“Goodnight, Rae. You’re my fourth favorite person in the whole world.”
I not really sure if that was a compliment or not, but I go with it anyway. “Thank you. You’re mine, too. Goodnight, Joey.”
He flips the light off and leaves the door cracked open. I look to Hudson for an explanation of Joey’s ranking as we walk to the kitchen. “I’m assuming you come after me, my mother, and Rocky,” he whispers.
“Makes sense.”
“Did you want to stay a little longer? Or did you need to be going? Also, what are you doing here? No offense or anything, but I thought you had to work tonight,” he questions, leaning against one of the counters.
Laughing quietly, I hop up on the counter opposite him. This was all something I told him earlier when I opened the door. Guess he was too busy freaking out over me discovering Joey to listen. Can’t blame him because I clearly checked out for a moment too.
“I got cut early. We were dead. I figured I’d come surprise you. Guess that one worked out well, huh?”
He reaches up and cups the back of his neck, giving me a small grimace. “Yeah, sorry again about that, Rae. I really didn’t intend to keep it from you. And sorry about the Perry thing.”
I realize then that I’m not even mad any more.
“You know what? It’s okay. I get it. I’d want to protect that little girl, too. She’s something, Hudson. You’ve done really well with her on your own.”
“I can’t take all the credit. My mom has been a great help. My father was as well when he was still alive. He loved the shit out of that kid. I’m just mad he didn’t get more time with her because we were both stubborn.”
Something clicks. “Joey’s the reason you got in a fight and you moved out.”
He nods solemnly. “Yeah. Missed out on a lot of good years because of it too.”
“I’m sorry, Hudson. That has to be hard.”
“It was. It still kind of is. But I’m glad they got what they got together. It was better than nothing.”
“My optimist,” I mutter. He catches it and smirks.
“Yours, huh? I like that,” he says, stalking closer to me. When he reaches me, he steps between my legs and cradles my head between his hands, getting all up in my personal space. “Rae…”
“Hudson.” My voice comes out thick and husky, nothing like I’ve ever heard before.
“Can I… May I kiss you?” he asks confidently.
My head barely moves up before his lips meet mine. My entire world implodes.
He’s gentle at first, testing my response. I press into him some, letting him know I’m completely okay with what’s happening. His lips become a little firmer. They’re soft. Way softer than they look. And they taste good.
I feel his tongue glide along my bottom lip. I open for him on a moan. Taking his chance, he dives right in. Our tongues mesh together, playing along one another perfectly. I pull him in closer with my legs, and then place my hands on his stomach, sliding them up slowly and then back down just the same. I mentally take note that he doesn’t really have “abs” like he said, but more of a definition. It’s nice. Really nice.
I’m sure it’s only seconds that pass but it feels like minutes before our kiss slows down. He backs away just slightly, brushing small, soft kisses along my lips.
He pulls back all the way, staring me directly in the eyes, our breaths coming in heavily and mingling together. His eyes are…glowing almost, the blue standing out even more against the green. It’s stunning.
“Wow,” he breathes out.
“Wow,” I repeat.
“That was…intense. Amazing. Perfect.”
I smile and shrug. “It was okay.”
He laughs lightly. “That mouth of yours is dangerous.” He leans in, nipping at my bottom lip. “I like it. A lot. It was my first favorite thing about you.”
“Your first favorite thing? What else made the list?” I ask, hooking my legs back around his and pulling him in some.
“Your eyes. They speak, telling me things you don’t,” he says seriously, looking me directly in the eyes. Oddly enough, I can say the same about his. He continues, “And your laugh. It’s intoxicating. Then your sense of humor, your love for Maura, your intelligence. Oh, and your ass. It’s very cute.”
I snort. Like legit snort. “Thank you.”
“That too. That’s number eight and nine. I love that you’re not afraid to be yourself. Your confidence is such a turn-on. That fact that you can accept a compliment is so refreshing. I can’t stand when women argue with one. It’s annoying and petty. I love that you’re not like that.”
Guess he can’t really help himself because his
mouth is on mine again. We’re back to where we just were, tangled up in one another as much as we can be for our positions. We grab onto one another, using our hands to tamely explore each other. Small gasps slip through but no other sounds escape. Our lips and tongues are fused together, tasting every single dark corner of each other’s mouths.
Thank you to whomever made my car break down, because this is amazing.
Then Hudson pulls away again, only this time he rests his forehead against mine.
I just smile, because really, how can you respond to what just happened? We continue staring at one another in silence. It’s a moment that I’ll never forget because the look in Hudson’s eyes is so…peaceful. He looks so happy. And if he looks that happy, I can only imagine how I look because I was just kissed by this man. Seriously kissed. Twice.
“This is going to sound like the shittiest thing I’ve ever said in my entire life, but I kind of need you to leave.”
My shoulders slump before I can catch them.
He dips down to look at my face on. “I mean absolutely no offense by that. Quite the opposite, actually. You see, I’m extremely turned on right now and my daughter is in the other room. I can’t let anything else happen tonight, but I really, really want it to. So, I’m being proactive. You have no idea how sorry I am.”
“Oh, you thought I was going to just rip my clothes off and sleep with you? Shame on you, Hudson. I’m not that kind of girl,” I feign offense because that’s all I can really muster at the moment. My heart is beating wildly still and I want nothing more than to do just what I said.
Then I lean in closer to him, getting right up next to his ear. “Or am I,” I whisper.
He shudders. I laugh and push him away, hopping down off the counter.
“I’ll see myself out,” I say with a smirk, walking out of the kitchen and leaving Hudson lightly banging his head against his kitchen cabinet, muttering to himself.
That night, I sleep fitfully. And not from my nightmare.
Hudson
Here's to Tomorrow Page 17
