Here Comes the Trouble! (9781101620861)

by Stern, A. j. ; Marts, Doreen Mulryan (ILT)

  Before we even knew it, it was one entire day away from being the wedding. Things were getting very busy. Since I was the plan B wedding planner AND the flower girl, I had to be involved in every single thing leading up to the wedding. That is why I went with Julie, Elliott, my mom, and Jessica, Julie’s sister, to the apple orchard where Julie and George were getting married. Susan, the plan A wedding planner, was meeting us there.

  Jessica was the maid of honor. My job was much better than hers because mine had the word flower in it. Flower is a much fancier word than maid. Also because I was the person who came out right before the bride. My mom was in charge of the table decorations, which was a very big job. This meant she also had to do things with flowers. Since flower was in the title of my job, I knew she would need help. This was not a problem whatsoever. I went to a flower-arranging class once in my life, so I know all about flowers. This was going to come in handy for my mom. I couldn’t wait to give her some helpful advice.

  The orchard was a very beautiful place, indeed. My mom thinks of everything, so she brought two baskets for me and Elliott. We would pick apples while Jessica, Susan, my mom, and Julie did some wedding things. They didn’t know that I was the plan B wedding planner, so that is a for instance of why I was not invited to join them.

  Elliott and I went into the orchard, climbed a couple of trees, and picked the bestiest apples of forever. Then we decided to put the apples right at the place where Julie and George would be getting married because apples are very beautiful. We found the spot and tucked about twenty apples into the grass all around the special spot. When we were done, I looked around and felt a very big ball of wonder swell up inside me. How in the worldwide of America were they going to decorate the actual place of getting married? How did a person decorate nature?

  Elliott didn’t have the answer to this, either, but I had confidence that we would figure it out. We went inside the barn and found everyone gathered around talking.

  “Are all the flowers here?” my mom asked Susan.

  “Yes, they are all in the kitchen,” she answered.

  “Fantastic. May we go look at them?” my mom wanted to know.

  “Of course,” she said. “Follow me.”

  “Oh, this is so much fun!” Jessica said. I guess she had never seen flowers before.

  We followed Susan downstairs to the kitchen part of the barn. Since the wedding was only one day away, people were getting the flowers ready. They were putting them in vases and filling them with water. There were so many vases to be filled, almost twenty hundredteen! Vases lined the table and counters, and there were even some on the floor. I was horrendified by this. Apparently and nevertheless, they did not know that flowers were supposed to be in the refrigerator! I know this because when I took my flower-arranging class, it was in a flower shop and all the flowers were in see-through refrigerators! I have always wanted a see-through refrigerator.

  Susan said she was going to take Julie, Jessica, and my mom outside to look at the dining space and if we wanted to go outside we could join them. But I grabbed Elliott’s hand and pulled it to tell him to stay put. When they left, I explained that we were about to save the entire wedding.

  “How?” he asked.

  “Apparently and nevertheless, no one knows that the flowers should be in the refrigerator! They’re going to die if they stay out here like this,” I said.

  “Wow. I didn’t know that,” he said.

  “I know,” I told him. “It’s a very good thing there is a plan B wedding planner.”

  We opened the refrigerator, which was very big and silver, and took the flower bunches out of their vases and laid them on their backs on the shelves. When we were done, we shut the refrigerator and washed our flowered hands. I looked around the kitchen at all the empty vases of water and felt very proud indeed of our very good job.

  When we were done at the orchard, we went to a makeup store. Jessica was going to do Julie’s makeup for the wedding and had to learn how. Since I was the plan B wedding planner, I had to study the makeup part very carefully. If something happened to Jessica, I would know what to do.

  Even if I don’t care about or know how to use makeup, I look like a person who would know how to do something like that. I watched very carefully when the lady decorated Julie’s face. When she was done, it didn’t really look like she had much makeup on at all. I knew that she was going to need my help. Then the lady said, “If you want more, just layer on more blush. If you want less, you can dab it off with a napkin.”

  Easy. That’s the exact thought I had.

  “Now you try,” the makeup lady said to Jessica, who was so excitified that she was getting to decorate Julie’s face, too. I felt a lot of jealousification about that. When she was done, the makeup lady said she did a great job, which I did not agree with. That is not an opinion.

  Next it was off to the hair salon. Elliott sat in the front area looking through the magazines. I paid very close attention to the hair part. Just in case I had to plan B this, too. I was horrendified when I heard Julie tell the hairdresser that my mom was going to do her hair. I could tell that the hairdresser, like the makeup lady, did not like this fact. She looked over at me, and I nodded to let her know that I understood and agreed with what she was telling me. She was telling me that I looked like a natural at hair and makeup, especially on wedding days.

  However and nevertheless, the hairstyle was very complicated. There were a lot of twirls and loops and knots. Then they said something about flowers and putting them all over her hair. They said the flowers could be picked right from the apple orchard on the day of the wedding. That was a very exciting job to have. Since I knew about flowers, I decided that would be my job.

  By the time we got back to the car, my brain had almost rinsed the complicated hairstyle away. That made me a little worrified. But I could just make up my own hairstyle. I was very good at thinking on my feet. Even my dad says so.

  Before a wedding there is something called a rehearsal dinner. This is when the grown-ups eat dinner and make toasts and the kids get bored.

  I don’t know why it’s called a rehearsal dinner because we did not practice eating dinner. What we did actually was eat dinner. Doing the thing is very different than practicing doing the thing. And that is a scientific fact.

  I had to get dressed up for the rehearsal dinner, which was not something I preferred. I did not like having to dress up two times in one weekend! The dinner was at the apple orchard, and when we got there, I gaspified at how beautiful it was. They had lanterns and hanging Christmas tree lights twirled all over the place. Elliott was wearing a suit and looked very nice, but he did not like that he had to part his hair.

  Susan, the wedding planner, told everyone in the wedding to come outside. We were going to rehearse the wedding! That’s when everything started to make sense! First there was a rehearsal for the wedding, and then there was a dinner. They just put the two words together. There were people I had never met before who were going to be the bridesmaids and groomsmen. They all seemed very nice.

  “I’d like to do a very quick run-through before dinner,” Susan said. Then she led George and Elliott to the very front. They were supposed to stand and wait for Julie. Elliott was disappointed that he didn’t get to walk down the aisle, but when he learned he got to walk down the aisle at the end, he was happy.

  “Okay,” Susan called out to everyone. “We’ll have Jessica and Brian walk down, then Anna and Dan, then Sarah and Paul,” she said, pointing to the people I had never met. “Then Frannie, the flower girl, will walk down the aisle.”

  This was very excitifying. She explained where the chairs would be and that we would walk in between them. She showed us where we would be standing. She showed us how to walk, too. It was a slow walk. You had to count to two at every step! Because I was the flower girl, I was going to have a big basket of f
lower petals to sprinkle on the ground. Susan showed me what that would look like. This was making me very can’t-waitish, indeed.

  We all practiced the walk like Susan showed us. When we were all at the front, which is called the altar, she said, “And now the bride.”

  Julie was saving her special walk for the actual wedding. That is a for instance of why she didn’t do the slow walk during the rehearsal. When Julie and George were both at the altar, Susan asked who would have the vows.

  George said, “I’ll have the vows in my blazer pocket.”

  I made a special note of this.

  “Very good, and the rings?”

  “We’d like Elliott to hold the rings,” Julie said.

  “Is that all right with you, Elliott?” George asked.

  He nodded. He couldn’t speak because his mouth was too full with pride-itity.

  I smiled very hard at him, but then my face hurt.

  As the plan B wedding planner, I was very glad to have all this information. Now I knew all the plan A plans. That meant I could do a plan B for each of them. Once we had gone through the whole ceremony, Susan said we were done.

  We went inside and found our names on the place cards. There was also salad on each person’s plate! I liked coming to a dinner where you didn’t have to worry about ordering.

  In the middle of a hamburger bite, I heard a clinkety-clink noise. Elliott and I turned and saw that a man was banging a knife against his glass! That’s when everyone got quiet and the man stood up. He started talking. That’s when I realized that before a person gives a speech, they have to bang something against a glass! That made me love speeches even more! And I already really loved speeches!

  After a few more people did it, I thought it was time for Elliott to make his speech. I nudged him in the side.

  “You’re the best man,” I told him. “You have to make the best speech.”

  “But I don’t have one! I don’t know what to say!” he said, looking very horrendified, indeed.

  “I’ll whisper it to you,” I told him. Before Elliott could even stop me, I was clanging a spoon against a glass and everyone got quiet. I nudged Elliott again, so he would stand up.

  “Hi, my name is Elliott,” I up-whispered to him.

  “Hi, my name is Elliott,” he said, looking down at me.

  “Don’t look down at me!” I ordered.

  “Don’t look down at me,” he said.

  I slapped my hand against my head. “No, I didn’t mean for you to say that!”

  Elliott swallowed and looked very pale.

  “I am very happy that my mother is getting married to George.”

  “I am very happy that my mother is getting married to George,” he said.

  “Other than Frannie’s mom—”

  “Other than Frannie’s mom—” Elliott copied.

  “My mom is the best mom,” I up-whispered.

  “My mom is the best mom,” he said.

  Some people giggled a little bit. I don’t know why.

  “And George will be the best stepfather,” I said.

  “And George will be the best stepfather,” he said

  .

  “Thank you very much for your hospitality and good night!” I loud-whispered.

  “Thank you very much for your hospitality and good night!” Elliott said and sat down, sweating into his fries.

  George and Julie came over to us and gave us each a hug and kiss.

  “That was a great team speech,” Julie said to us.

  We smiled because it was true.

  It was very excitifying to wake up and realize it was the day of the wedding! Even Winston Churchill was excited because he came racing into my bedroom. He was coming to the wedding with us.

  My dad carried all our stuff to the car. Everyone was going to get ready in separate rooms at the barn. The boys in one room and the girls in the other.

  When we got to the apple orchard, we found Julie in the girls’ room. She was in her bathrobe, and she was blow-drying her hair.

  “You don’t have to get dressed for a while, Frannie,” my mom told me. “Why don’t you go pick some flowers for Julie’s hair?”

  “Okay,” I said, because I thought that was a fantastical idea. I raced downstairs and outside and saw Elliott climbing a tree.

  “Elliott!” I yelled. “A best man isn’t allowed to climb trees the day of the wedding!” Elliott did not know about this law apparently, He jumped down and ran toward me.

  “Why not?”

  “You might fall off and break something!”

  “Good point,” he said.

  “I have to get flowers for your mom’s hair,” I told him. “Do you want to come and help me?”

  “Yes!” he cried, and we raced toward the field. We collected the most beautiful flowers of ever. When we were almost done, I remembered we still had a couple things left to do.

  “Do you have the rings?” I asked.

  “Not yet. I have to get them,” he said.

  “Okay. And I have to give you the vows. You have to put them in George’s inside blazer pocket.”

  “And then I hold the rings?” he asked me.

  “No. You might lose them. We need a plan B for the rings.”

  We both closed our faces, so we could think for a little while.

  Winston Churchill came running to us and jumped up when he saw Elliott. That was how excitified he was to see him.

  “Winston Churchill!” I said. “We’ll put the rings on his collar, so they won’t fall off or get lost!”

  “That is a very good idea, Frannie,” Elliott told me. “Let’s do that at the last minute, so that he’s not running around with them before the wedding.”

  “Okay, good idea!” I told him. “Now, let’s get the vows for you to put in George’s blazer pocket. And get the rings. Don’t forget to get the rings!” I ordered.

  “Okay,” he said. “I won’t.”

  On the way to the girls’ room to get the vows, we heard a big racket coming from the kitchen. Winston Churchill, Elliott, and I ran to the kitchen. Susan, the wedding planner, was very upset. She was pulling the flowers out of the refrigerator. I thought it was a little too soon to do that.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Someone put all the flowers in the freezer!” Susan yelled.

  “You mean the refrigerator,” I said.

  “No, I mean the freezer! They’re frozen solid!” she shrieked.

  That’s when I got a very bad day feeling on my skin.

  “They’re frozen!” Susan yelled again. “Frozen!”

  Uh-oh

  Elliott and I ran out of the kitchen before Susan’s head exploded. We raced upstairs to get the vows. When we got to the girls’ room, I handed my mom the flowers and ran past her over to my bag. Elliott stood in the doorway, and when his mom came out of the other room in her bathrobe, Elliott got upset.

  “Why aren’t you in your dress? Did you forget that you’re getting married?” he asked her, very worrified.

  “Of course not!” she said. “I’m going to do my makeup first.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  I handed him an envelope with the vows and whispered, “Put one in each pocket.”

  That’s when Elliott smiled his biggest smile of ever at me. It was very good thinking on my part is what it was. I copied the vows five times, so that Elliott could put one into every single pocket of George’s jacket, just in case George’s got lost. That way, we didn’t just have a plan B, we had plans C, D, E, F, and G!

  I went over to Jessica, who was doing Julie’s makeup. I had to make sure she was doing it correctly. If not, I’d have to jump in with some plan B makeup.

  “That’s a lot of
blush. Do you think it’s too much blush?” I asked.

  “I don’t think so,” Jessica said, brushing Julie’s cheeks.

  “Also, don’t forget about the eyes. And the lips. But don’t make the lips too red. But, if you do, that’s okay. I can probably fix them,” I told her.

  “Frannie!” my mom called.

  “I’m helping Jessica do Julie’s makeup!” I yelled back.

  “Well, come help me with mine!” she yelled. It was hard to be needed in two places at once.

  “I think I can handle it, Frannie. Thanks. When I’m done, you can have a good look,” Jessica told me.

  “Okay,” I said, and raced over to my mother, who needed help only with getting zipped up, which was very boring, indeed.

  Then it was my turn to get dressed. When I was done, I went back to look at Julie. I had to admit, she looked very beautiful. Even if I didn’t really get to help her very much.

  “You look so pretty,” I told her.

  “So do you,” she said. “Now, who’s going to help me get into my dress?”

  “I will!” I shouted. I had never, ever helped anyone get into a wedding dress before. I felt very important, indeed. My mother and I held it open for her to step into, and we lifted it up to button all the buttons in the back. When we were done, we gaspified because she was so beautiful. Then it was time to do her hair.

  My mom zipped her hands over Julie’s head, loop-de-looping and tunneling flowers in different areas, and when she was done, Julie looked like the most beautiful bride I’d ever seen in the world.

  My mom told me to go downstairs and get in position. She took Julie downstairs to the secret place they were going to hide before she walked down the grassy aisle. Before I went downstairs, I ran over to the makeup table and decided to make myself look just a little bit more beautiful. I put my fingers in the cream blush and rubbed it onto my cheeks until they were red. I put some red lipstick on, but I didn’t like the taste, so I wiped it off with the back of my hand.