by J Johnson
“What’ll it be?”, the bartender asks as soon as we walk up.
Points for speedy service.
I remain silent because I have no clue what the hell to order. Zoe must pick up on my lack of knowledge because she orders for both of us. That or she’s just being Zoe.
“Can we go to a corner?”, I ask her after we get our drinks. I look at the reddish orange colored concoction and frown. “What is this?”
“It’s called a sex on the beach. And why do you want to go to a corner? We came here to have fun, not hide out.”
“I just need my space, that’s all. Please.”
She doesn’t question me further and finds a spot against the wall away from the crowd. My eyes wander around looking at everything going on. Dancing, talking, laughing. A couple in the corner next to us are sucking each other’s faces off.
“So?”
“So what?”, I ask.
“So, how do you like it so far?”
“It’s different. Loud and smelly, but okay, I guess.”
She laughs and shakes her head at me. “Oh, what am I going to do with you, Ash? You’re so different from most girls I know.”
“Yeah, so I’ve been told. A lot.”
“Do you mind if I go to the dance floor? I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Go. I’ll be fine. I’ll just people watch and be weird as usual.”
She laughs, then bounces off to the dance floor where she’s instantly met by two guys. Before a fight breaks out between the two, she drags them both with her, one on each side. She is not shy by any means, and sometimes I envy that about her. Even if I wanted to be that way, I couldn’t. Touching people is definitely not in the cards for me. Never will be unless I figure out how to control it. It’s not like I can ask for help, though. Who would I ask? The life I lead is lonely all the time, and I’m afraid it will always be that way.
When I search for Zoe again, I find her grinding to the music with the same two guys, laughing and having a great time. It makes me smile knowing that she’s enjoying herself, but it disappears a moment later when the hair on the back of my neck stands up. My intuition is telling me someone in here is bad news, and I always trust my intuition. It hasn’t steered me wrong yet.
I scan the crowd looking for anything out of the ordinary but find nothing. I scan it again and notice a man standing across the room. The corner he’s in hides most of him, but I can see that he’s big. I can also see that his arms are crossed over his chest. My inner alarm bells ring, warning me there’s danger, but my heartbeat speeds up for another reason entirely. I suddenly want to go talk to him and see his face that hides in the darkness. If that’s not insane, I don’t know what is.
“Hey sexy.”, a man says startling me. I can tell he’s had way too much to drink. He plops his drunk ass down in the booth next to me and slides over as close as he can. His breath reeks of alcohol making me gag. “Wanna dance?”
“No thank you.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t be that way. Let’s go dance.”
He reaches for my arm and I jerk away before he can touch me.
“I said no.”
“You dumb bitch. You think you’re too good for me, is that it? Well, let me tell you something…”
His words are cut off by a bouncer grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out of the booth.
“Hey!”
“Leave the lady alone. I heard her say no so back off or you can leave.”
“Fine.”, he throws his hands up in the air then walks off mumbling.
“Sorry about that. He’s here all the time and doesn’t mean half the shit he says. He’s just another drunk that doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.”
“It’s okay. Thank you.”
He returns to his post by the door, but it’s too late. My anxiety level has spiked. My breathing is at levels equivalent to a marathon runner, and I feel like I’m going to hyperventilate. I need some air. I push my way past the bodies and out the door as quickly as possible and escape.
The cool night air hits me, making me feel better instantly. It takes a few minutes before my breathing returns to normal and the thought of going back inside makes it speed up again. I notice the bouncer that checked our ID’s is no longer standing by the door and there’s no one else in the parking lot. I decide maybe walking around for a few minutes will help. Hopefully.
When we first pulled in, I noticed a tattoo parlor next door so I walk towards it, hoping some of the artist’s work will be in the window on display. I’ve always wondered about getting a tattoo but was afraid of the skin contact involved. I know they use gloves, but the risk of being touched outweighs the reward for me. I couldn’t do it because when I have an episode I space out and everyone around me thinks I’m having some medical emergency. The last thing I need is a needle vibrating against my skin while I go on a little mind trip.
I’m so lost in thought; I’m not paying attention to anything around me. As I pass the alleyway between the two buildings, someone grabs me and covers my mouth with their hand, muffling my scream. He drags me down the alley towards the back of the buildings, but the images have already started. I try to fight him off, but between his strength and the vision, I’m not successful. Once the vision takes hold, that’s it. I’m done for. If there’s a way to pull me out of the visions or know what’s happening in the actual world, I haven’t figured it out yet.
I’m standing at the end of the alleyway but unable to move as usual. I watch as he pulls me deeper down the alley and shoves me up against the wall. I’m fighting back, but he’s too strong. I don’t know if it’s all the alcohol he’s had or the fact that in real life I’m having an episode. There’s no way I’m getting loose, no matter how hard I try. It doesn’t escape me, I’m watching myself being attacked, but it also means he will probably die tonight. Or maybe I’m watching my own demise.
“You dumb fucking bitch!”, he yells. “Be still!”
He punches me in the face hard enough for my head to bounce off the wall behind me. I can feel her pain, my pain, like an explosion, has gone off in my head. My body falls to the ground, then he kicks me in the side with his boot. I hear a cracking sound and a moan escapes me. It hurts so much. I always feel the victim’s pain.
“This wouldn’t be happening if you had just danced with me.”, he growls and kicks me again. It’s then I notice who my attacker is. The drunk that had asked me to dance only minutes ago. “I’m tired of bitches like you thinking you’re better than everyone else. You were put here for one reason and I’m going to take what I want from you.”
I know what he’s implying, and I panic. He’s trying desperately to unclothe me as if he’s won some prize and can’t wait to unwrap it. I lay there, eyes closed, beaten and bloody, unable to move. When I think he’s just about to succeed with his mission, something blurs by and the weight of his body is suddenly gone.
The man is gone, and I watch through blood-soaked vision as a large arm holds the man in the air. I hear a loud cracking sound, and my attacker falls to the ground. The other man, my savior, walks towards me as I continue to fight the darkness trying to take over.
“I’ve got you.”, he whispers. “It’s okay.”
I know without a doubt that my savior is the man from the bar. The man I saw in the shadows lurking. The one I felt was dangerous, but I also felt drawn to.
My eyes slowly close as he lifts me off the ground. He’s big. I can feel his muscles beneath me, but I’m still fighting the darkness. I can’t concentrate on him and me at the same time. A moan escapes my mouth from the pain radiating through my entire body. I don’t know how many times he hit me, but I know it’s bad. My sides and head feel like I’ve been mowed down by a semi and I’m wet everywhere from the blood.
“Shh.”, he whispers. “I won’t hurt you. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
I don’t know why, but I believe him. I briefly wonder why this man doesn’t cause me to have a vision right before the darkn
ess takes over.
Two
∞∞∞
The sound of whispering brings me back. I listen, trying to figure out who it is that’s talking and where I am. When I try to move a pain shoots through my side. It feels like I’m being stabbed. Repeatedly.
“I feel horrible.”, she cries. “This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t asked her to go out with me.”
“It’s not your fault, Zoe.”, a male voice consoles her.
Zoe. Jordan.
It all comes back to me at once, making it difficult to discern what’s real and what isn’t. The vision and the actual events are on a loop, but it’s as though it happened twice or in sync. I moan in protest when I try to open my eyes and can’t. They feel like they’re glued shut.
“Ash?”, Zoe says, then grabs my hand.
Zoe is standing in a park, smiling. I’ve never seen her so happy. Beside her is a handsome man that resembles Jordan. On closer inspection, I decide they must be related. They’re holding hands and smiling, but I can’t figure out why they are here.
Suddenly a loud shriek pierces my ears, making me jerk my head to the left towards the playground where children are everywhere. The man beside Zoe rushes over to a little girl and picks her up. He brings her back to Zoe and sits her in her lap. Tears are streaming down the little girl's face and Zoe brushes them away gently.
“What’s the matter, sweetie?”, Zoe asks her. “Did you fall?”
“Yes, mommy.”, the little girl says between tears. “I hurt my knee and my hand.”
Zoe kisses both spots the girl points to and the girl instantly stops crying.
“See? All better now.”
The little girl hugs Zoe’s neck, then runs back to the playground. Another little girl joins her from the swing set and they both race up the stairs to slide. They’re twins. Zoe and this man, this man that looks like Jordan, have twin girls.
“What’s wrong?”, Zoe asks, concern lacing her voice.
“Nothing.”
I yank my hand away out of habit and shove it under the blanket. Any movement hurts, so flinching is involuntary.
“I call bullshit. I’ve seen you do that before when someone touches you. Like it’s painful or something to touch someone.”
She’s waiting on me to explain, but I’m not sure how to go about it. I open my mouth to say something, then remember that Jordan is in the room.
“We’ll talk about it later.”, she says as if she’s reading my mind. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been beaten to death.”
Someone grabs my other hand and I try to yank it away but again. It’s too late.
I’m in a forest. There’s nothing but trees in every direction. Jordan suddenly appears from behind a large tree, looking battered and exhausted. His eyes are wild and frantic looking, and he appears to be angry. He stomps through the thick brush and tree limbs, cursing with each step. He’s rambling about someone named Rylie. I don’t know who this Rylie person is, but I know that they’re in for a fight when he finds them.
He halts and tilts his head to one side, listening. He hears something. I look around but see nothing out of the ordinary, but then I hear it too. Something is coming. My heart races at the thought of having to see one of my friends die. I yell and scream frantically, trying to snap myself out of the vision before something bad happens to my friend and I have to see it.
“I’m just glad you’re okay.”, he says.
I pull my hand away from his and hide it under the blanket with the other one. I’m not sure if I snapped myself out of the vision or not, but I’m glad it didn’t go any further.
“I’m fine. Sore and it hurts to breathe, but I’ll be okay.”
“What were you doing outside by yourself?”, Zoe asks. I really wish I could open my eyes all the way. I look up at her, but everything is so blurry.
“I just went outside for a minute to get some air. There was a guy inside bothering me, and the bouncer made him leave me alone. I didn’t see him go outside or I wouldn’t have gone out there. I started towards the tattoo shop to look at pictures in the window when he grabbed me.”
“What happened? The police said the guy was dead.”, Jordan asks. “Did you… Did you kill him?”
“No. The man that saved me killed him. I was kind of out of it, but I saw him break his neck with one hand. Speaking of… where is he? Where’s the guy that saved me?”
“He dropped you off in the ER, told them what happened, then left.”, Zoe replies. “When I ask anyone what his name was or what he looked like, no one can tell me. They keep saying it was so busy that they didn’t pay much attention to him.”
“I find it odd that he dropped you off, then just left. Why not stick around to make sure you were okay?”, Jordan asks.
“Maybe he didn’t want all the attention Jordan. Not everyone is an attention whore like you are.”, Zoe snaps. She seems really upset with him. More than usual.
“Can I have a minute with Ash?” There’s a pause for a moment. “Please.”
“Fine. I’ll go grab a drink, but I’ll be back in five minutes.”
“Ten.”
Zoe steps out, leaving me alone with Jordan. Even though I can’t see anything, I can feel the tension in the room. Something is wrong.
“What? What is it?”, I ask.
I can hear his feet hitting the floor. Back and forth and back again. He’s pacing.
“Ash.” He pauses and I hear more footsteps. He’s moved closer to the bed. “I need to tell you something. I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now, but I never found the right time. Then when I heard what happened to you, I knew I had to tell you. I was so scared that you wouldn’t make it, and all I could think about was that I haven’t told you.”
“Told me what, Jordan?”
“I know this is probably the worst timing ever, but… I love you, Ash. I’m in love with you. I have been for a while. I know it doesn’t make sense. Not really. We’ve never been out together or anything, but I’ve watched you and the way you are around others. The kids at the hospital love you. They ask for you. Your heart is so big, and you care so much about other people. I watched you more and more until one day I knew that I loved you. You’re beautiful inside and out, Ashlyn.”
If I could have opened my eyes, I’m sure they would be the size of baseballs. Thoughts run through my head as I try to process and figure out how to react to this news. I’ve always thought Jordan was cute, sexy even, but after a while he became more like a big brother to me. And I can’t help but think it would be an unbelievably bad idea to date my boss.
“You don’t have to say anything right now.”, he finally says. “You scared the hell out of me, and I knew I had to tell you. I needed you to know before something happened to either of us.”
I open my mouth to say something, although I’m still not sure what to say when Zoe’s voice saves me from having to say anything.
“Hope you got it all out cause I’m back.”, she announces.
I have a feeling she knew what he was going to say to me. I’m betting that’s what the arguing was about. She didn’t think it was a good idea to say anything right now. I would agree. He could have at least waited until I could see again.
“I have to get back to the kids. Think about what I said Ash and let me know how you feel.”
There’s a long pause before Zoe says anything. I assume she’s waiting on him to leave the room.
“What did the idiot say?”, she asks. “I’m sure I already know.”
“He said that he’s in love with me.”
“Yeah, he told me as much too. I told him he’d be an idiot to tell you while you are laying in a hospital bed.”
“I agree, but it’s done now. I had no idea.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I’ve always thought he was cute, but he’s also my boss.”
“Not really. You only volunteer at the hospital a few days a wee
k.”
“Yeah, but I still have to listen to him those two days, making him my boss.”
“I think you’re stretching that a little too far, Ash. That’s an excuse. You should go for it. See where it goes. He may be the one.”
“I don’t know. Besides, you just called him an idiot. I thought you were against it.”
“No. I was against him telling you here. I’m totally for the two of you hooking up. You would be a cute couple. I can see it. I wonder if he has a brother.” The vision of her and someone resembling Jordan having twin girls’ flashes through my mind. “Let’s talk about something else. Like what happened earlier when I touched you.”
I’ve always known I would tell her, but I never seem to find the right time. Every time I think about telling her something stops me. My fear mainly.
“Well.”, I start. “I’m not sure you’ll believe me.”
“I’ll believe you.”
“Maybe we should wait until I can see you better. At least let me see what kind of reaction you have.”
“Just spill it, Ash. I’m tired of not knowing what I feel is an important part of my best friend’s life.”
Here’s goes nothing. Maybe not seeing her reaction will make it easier. At least I won’t have to see her run out of the room.
“When I touch someone, I see visions of them. Of their future. Mostly I see how they die.”
“So, like premonitions?”, she says calmly.
“Yes.”
“Okay. I believe you.”
“I also see ghosts, and I can hear people’s thoughts.”, I blurt out.
“Oh, boy.”
Now there’s the tone I was waiting for.
It’s been a few days since Zoe found out about my gifts, and I realize now that I should have told her a long time ago. She’s been so understanding and intrigued to hear more about them. To the point I wish she’d stop asking questions already. It’s definitely been a change from the normal reactions I get.
As I’m thumbing through an old magazine, I notice a woman walking by and at first; I pay little attention to it. She walks by again, and the way she carries herself strikes me as odd. You would think after all these years I’d be able to tell the difference between a person and a ghost, but even now it takes me a minute. When she walks by the fourth time, she turns her head and looks directly at me. My mistake is making eye contact with her.
