by J Johnson
“Can you see me?” She rushes over to me and stops beside my bed. “You can see me, can’t you.” I attempt to ignore her the same way I do all the others, but she’s very persistent. “Please help me. I need to find him. I need to find my husband.” I go back to thumbing through the magazine, silently willing her to go away. “I know you can see me. Please. I need your help. No one else can see me, and I don’t know why. Please help me.”
I close my eyes and sigh.
“Who is your husband?”
“Oh my. You can see me. This is wonderful. His name is Allen and the last time I saw him was here in the hospital.”
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
“I came in because I received a phone call that he was in an accident. I rushed right over. I remember asking the nurse where he was, and then I woke up in the hallway. Can you help me find him?”
This woman doesn’t know she’s dead. I’ve never had to tell someone they’re dead before, so this should be interesting. And sad.
“What’s your name?”, I ask her gently.
“Susan. Susan Bonham. My husband’s name is Allen Bonham. I’ve tried speaking to the nurses and doctors, but it’s like no one can see me. What is happening?”
“Mrs. Bonham. You’re a ghost.”
I wait for her to scream or cry or run around doing both, but she just nods.
“That makes sense. I wonder how I died. Can you find my husband?”
“I will do my best.”
I push the button on my remote for the nurse and a few moments later she enters.
“What can I do for you, Miss Miller.”
“I was wondering if you could find another patient for me and let me know how he’s doing. A friend of mine said he was in an accident and I just want to make sure he’s okay.”
“What’s his name?”
“Allen Bonham.”
Her expression changes and it doesn’t take a vision to know what she’s going to say. Apparently, Susan sees it too because she starts crying.
“I’m sorry, but he didn’t make it. It’s sad, really. His wife came in right after he died. When the doctor told her, she went into cardiac arrest and died a few minutes later.”
“Oh my.”, I put my hand over my heart. “That is terrible. Thank you for letting me know.” After she leaves, I turn to Susan. “I’m so sorry, Susan.”
“Why am I still here if he’s gone? I don’t understand. Why didn’t I go with him wherever he is?”
“I don’t know.”
“Susan!”, a man yells from the hallway. “Susan!”
She rushes out the door and gasps. “Allen! Oh my God, Allen, you’re here. I was looking everywhere for you.”
They embrace each other in my doorway, holding on for dear life as if the other one is going to disappear. I watch as they are both surrounded by a bright light, the same light that surrounded my brother, then they’re gone. I can only theorize where they go, but it has to be somewhere beautiful. Somewhere filled with love and hope and joy where the two of them can be together forever. That’s what I hope, anyway. I wonder if I’m ever going to find that kind of love.
After a week of being cooped up in the hospital, they’re finally letting me go home with strict instructions to be careful of what I do. No heavy lifting and no strenuous exercise. My injuries ended up being three broken ribs, a broken arm, a broken nose, and a lot of bruising. I’ve already taken another week off work and plan on staying home except for finding my savior. Zoe has agreed to help me, and Jordan isn’t happy about it at all.
He insists on me not finding this guy because if he wanted people to know who he is, he would have stayed with me at the hospital. Zoe thinks it’s more than that. Her theory is that Jordan might be a tad bit jealous and is afraid I’ll fall for the guy that saved me. It’s a ridiculous idea since I don’t even know who he is. I just want to thank him. If it weren’t for him, I’d probably be dead.
I think I upset Jordan. He poured his heart out to me a week ago, and I have said nothing to him yet about it. I plan on talking with him this afternoon, but I still don’t know what to say. I’ve thought about it all week long and keep coming to the same conclusion. It’s a bad idea. I’ve avoided it long enough though, especially since we have to work together.
“Jordan?” I peek inside his office and find him sitting behind his desk.
Not that I haven’t noticed before, but I can’t help but really look at him now. His caramel complexion is smooth and flawless. When he smiles, he has two perfect dimples on each cheek and his body is rock hard. I’ve seen him workout and I will admit that I may have drooled a little. His eyes have always intrigued me the most, though. They are the deepest green, like a lush forest. They’re beautiful.
“Ash.”, he smiles, showing his dimples. “Come in.” I shut the door behind me and turn to face him, but my nerves are making me nauseous. “Ash, I won’t bite. Please sit down.”
“I’m not staying.”, I mumble. “I came to talk to you about the other day.”
“Okay.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Say whatever you feel, Ash. I understand if you don’t feel the same way. We haven’t dated or anything. I get that. I guess I wanted you to know how I felt because I wanted to know if you would give us a chance. I’d like to take you out on a date.”
“A date?”
“Yes. That thing where two people go out and eat dinner or watch a movie or take a walk in the park.”, he smirks. “If we’re good at it, we may even talk a bit.”
If his goal is to calm me a little, it’s not working. I keep thinking about how nice all those things would be with him, but there could be no touching. No holding hands or kissing. Not unless I can figure out how to control my visions. My concentration breaks a little and his thoughts come flooding in my mind. Normally, I have that under control, but between my injuries and my nerves, I’m losing it.
“Fuck, she’s hot. I can’t believe it took me this long to see how great she is.”
I block them as quickly as I can to keep from hearing something that I don’t need or want to hear. I’ve made that mistake before and after you hear something demeaning or hurtful, it’s hard to forget even though they didn’t say it out loud.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea.”, I reply softly.
“Why?” He crosses his arms and frowns. “What is it you’re so afraid of, Ash? If it’s because technically I’m your boss, I can have it fixed where you report to another doctor here.”
“We’ve become such good friends Jordan and I don’t want to mess that up.”, I lie. “What if it didn’t work out? Then what?”
“I don’t think that will happen.”
“But you can’t be sure.”
He closes his eyes and sighs. “No.”
“I’m sorry.” My voice is barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s fine and I’ll respect your choice. For now.”
After leaving Jordan’s office, I feel like shit. A shitty person. A shitty friend.
“So, are we going to look for your mystery man?”, Zoe asks as I sit down in her jeep.
“I want to.”
“You look weird. What’s wrong with you?”
“I just told Jordan that we couldn’t go out.”
“What? Why?”
“It would never work, Zoe. When he touches me, I get visions. How am I supposed to kiss someone like that? I can’t. I just can’t do it.”
“Oh, Ash. I’m so sorry. I never thought about it that way. No wonder I’ve never seen you with a guy.”
“Yeah. It sucks.”
“Have you never…”, her voice trails off, but I know what she’s asking.
“No. I haven’t.”
“Oh my God.”
“Never repeat that. To anyone.”
She smiles as she puts the car in drive and guns it. By the time we get there, I’m shaking and nauseous. Mainly from her driv
ing, but also because I can’t help but wonder what’s going to happen if I find him. She parks close to the door; I’m guessing so we don’t have to walk across the parking lot. She tries to be rock steady for me, but I can tell my attack freaked her out just as much as it did me.
The lot is empty except for a few cars at the club and a few in front of the tattoo shop. It’s still daylight out so it won’t fill up for a few more hours and I want to be gone by then. Since the attack happened between the two buildings, I’m going to check at both places. Surely someone saw or heard something.
“Where do you want to start?”, Zoe asks.
“The club, I guess. Maybe the bartender knows who it was. Bartenders know a lot. Right?”
“I think you watch too much TV.”, she laughs. “But yes. Most bartenders know more than other people. The ones that pay attention, anyway. The bouncer might know. They’re paid to watch everyone and everything.”
“The bouncer made the guy leave me alone, so yeah, he might know something.”
Once inside, we head straight to the blonde behind the counter who doesn’t look too thrilled about being here. I can’t say that I blame her. This would be a boring job. Hectic too, I’m sure.
“Excuse me. My friend here wants to ask you some questions if you have a minute.”, Zoe says.
“Sure. What’s up?”
“We were here the other night, and I got attacked in the alley.”, I told her.
“I heard about that. I’m so sorry that happened. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine thanks, but I was wondering if anyone here knows who the man is that saved me? He came from nowhere, and if it weren’t for him, I’d probably be dead. I thought maybe he was a customer here.”
“I honestly don’t know. I’ve heard a few people talking, but people often talk about things they know nothing about.”
“What were they saying?”
“The people here are always drunk, so I’m not sure I’d believe anything they say. One said it was a guy from out of town and he left soon after. I heard someone else say it was a superhero, and another one said they saw a blur because he moved so fast. I told you, a bunch of drunks.”
“A superhero?”, Zoe frowns. “Seriously?”
“Yep. A superhero. Complete with a cape and all, apparently. You wouldn’t believe the shit I hear in this place. You might try next door. Maybe someone there saw something.”
“They were closed that night. I remember because I was walking towards the shop to see if they had pictures in the window of their work and there were no cars in front of it.”
“The owner lives in that building and he’s there most of the time. I’ve only seen him a few times, but one of his employees comes over here every once in a while. She told me he lives in the back.”
“Oh. Okay. Thanks.”
Zoe shrugs when I look at her. “Won’t hurt to ask.”, she says then turns back to the bartender. “What about the bouncer here? Can we talk to him?”
“He won’t be in for another couple of hours, but I doubt he will be any help. He usually stays inside.”
“Okay. Thanks so much.”
Three
∞∞∞
On the way out, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever find him. Logically, the odds aren’t that great. He was probably just driving by and stopped to help. And Jordan is right. If he wanted me or anyone else to know who he was, he would have stuck around. Maybe. I’m not sure what one does after saving someone. I try to imagine myself in his shoes, but I can’t say for certain if I’d stay or not. Probably not. I don’t like attention though. Maybe he’s the same way.
That night has played over and over in my head and I always end up at the same conclusion. The trauma I was dealing with must have been why he didn’t cause a vision when he picked me up. I’ve never touched anyone that didn’t cause a vision. Ever. It’s the only logical reason I can come up with. Just in case though, I plan on shaking his hand. If he doesn’t trigger a vision, then I’ll freak out about why.
“I’ve always wanted a tattoo.”, Zoe says as we approach the window. “Maybe I should get one while we’re here.”
“I’ve always wanted one too, but was afraid to go through with it because of the visions. I can see me having one while I’m being poked with a needle.”
“True. How does it work at the hospital? When you were there? Don’t you see stuff when the nurse's touch you?”
“If they have gloves on, no and most of them do. If they don’t, I always ask them to put some on. They think I’m nuts, but it’s easier than looking like I’m having a seizure and explaining that. What would I say? Sorry, you can’t touch me because I can see your future if you do. They’d have me committed on a different floor. The doctor came in a few times to check on me, and he didn’t use gloves. That was interesting.”
“I bet it was. What about hearing people’s thoughts? How does that work?”, she asks, then raises a brow. “Have you heard my thoughts before?”
“Yes, unfortunately. Most of the time, I can control that one. I just tune it out like its background noise. Kind of like being in a bar. You hear everyone talking, but unless you focus on one person, you don’t really understand what they are saying.”
“So, what have you heard me say? Or think rather.”
“It was only when I first met you. Sometimes, I lose control and hear them. You thought about how pale I looked and that I needed some sun and a serious makeover.”
She grinned widely at me. “I’ve told you that out loud though.”
“Yes, but you didn’t know me well then, and it’s those kinds of thoughts that keep me to myself. Everyone has a first impression of you. Imagine hearing it every time you meet someone. It messes with your confidence a little.”
“Yeah. I couldn’t imagine. Oh, look. That one is cute.” She points at a pair of purple wings in the window. She’s a purple freak. Anything purple is okay with her. Her jeep is purple.
“You should get it.”, I say. “It suites you.”
“You think so?”
“Why not? It’ll give me a chance to watch how it’s done. If they use gloves, maybe I can get one too.”
She looks like she’s thinking about it, but I already know what she’s going to say. Zoe says no to nothing. Not really. Once she has her mind set on something, it usually happens.
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
When we open the door everyone inside turns to see who’s walked in. There is a young girl behind the counter on the right with green and black spiky hair, a nose ring and earrings lining both ears from top to bottom. The word punk comes to mind when I look at her. I know it’s not nice to judge someone by their appearance, but she looks like trouble with a capital T.
On the left side of the room, there are two chairs for the customers to sit in while getting inked up. There are a few empty chairs that appear to be for waiting customers or maybe friends of customers.
In one chair, there is an exceptionally large man with a round belly getting a tattoo. His hair is scruffy and looks like he hasn’t brushed it in weeks. Giving him the tattoo is another large man with long hair that reaches his middle back. It’s kind of beautiful, silky looking even. He has muscles that are noticeable, and he’s covered in tattoos. Both men look like they’d rather eat us alive than talk to us, so my nerves kick into overdrive.
“Can I help you?”, the girl behind the counter asks with a smirk. “Let me guess. You want a butterfly tattoo or a heart on your ankle.”
“For your information, smartass, we’re here looking for someone. And if I wanted a tattoo, it would be none of your damn business what I get or why.”, Zoe retorts without hesitation. I smile at her bravery but worry she’s going to get us hurt or thrown out. Mainly hurt.
“Feisty.”, the long-haired man smiles. “I like it when they’re feisty.”
Zoe smiles like she’s accomplished something, and I shake my head. She’s crazy. The girl crosses her arms over her chest and snorts. S
he didn’t like Zoe snapping back at her.
“Who are you looking for?”
“Someone assaulted my friend in the alley the other night, and another someone saved her from the scumbag. We’re trying to find the man that saved her. The bartender next door suggested we come here.”
“What did he look like?”, long-hair asks.
“I’m not sure. I was kind of out of it. He was big though, with some tattoos on his arm.”
“That narrows it down.”, Miss attitude snaps. “I don’t think anyone was here that night.”
“Are you sure? The bartender said the owner of this place lives in the building. Is he here? And I didn’t tell you what night it was, so how would you know what night I’m talking about?” Zoe looks like she’s about ready to punch this girl in the face.
“People talk around here.”, she replies quickly while long-hair chuckles. “The owner is in the back. I’ll go get him.”
The girl disappears down a hallway, leaving me and Zoe with the two men.
“So, do you think I could get a tattoo tonight?”, Zoe asks. “I want the angel wings in a darker purple.”
“I’m about finished with him. Do you have any other tattoos?”
“No. This will be my first.”
“Great. A tattoo virgin. My favorites.”
“Boy, do you people drink from the same glass of asshole around here?”, she asks him. “Maybe you should get a filter for that water supply. I recommend adding a little more politeness. It’s lacking that ingredient, obviously.”
His eyes widen a little, then he and scruffy both burst out laughing
“She’s a wild one, JJ.”, scruffy says.
“Seems so. My apologies to you both. We don’t mean any harm, but you wouldn’t believe the people that come in here sometimes. I scare most tattoo virgins shitless, but you aren’t afraid of me. You’re different. I’ll finish up with him and we’ll get started on yours.”
