The Obama Diaries

by Laura Ingraham

  When Arizona decided to do the job the federal government won’t do, and passed its own tough immigration enforcement measure in April 2010, the president dispatched his legal and PR machine to slam the law. The law, wildly popular in the state, calls for Arizona police to verify the legal status of individuals they come in lawful contact with. What an outrage! People who live and work in America must be here legally?!

  At a town hall meeting in Iowa, Obama characterized the Arizona effort this way: “Now, suddenly, if you don’t have your papers and you took your kid out to get ice cream, you’re going to be harassed, that’s something that could potentially happen.” This was a particularly despicable instance of Obama fearmongering, given the fact that the law’s language explicitly prohibits using race or ethnicity as the “sole factor” in prompting a request for identification. Attorney General Eric Holder held a press conference to register his disapproval, and Homeland Security secretary Janet Napolitano told a congressional panel she was “deeply concerned.” Amazingly, both were forced to admit to Congress that they had never actually read the law.

  Hey, Janet, we’re deeply concerned, too. Deeply concerned that you, Holder, and the rest of the cabinet are totally incompetent.

  THE DIARY OF PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

  AIR FORCE ONE

  April 27, 2010

  Just got word from Rahm that the Arizona law is already having its intended effect! He tells me that many of the undocumented citizens there are already starting to self-deport back to their home countries! This is a nightmare. Plouffe says we need all the newly registered Democrat voters we can get in 2012, and that includes the 460, 000 estimated to live in Arizona. By the way, somebody’s falling down on his job—that number should be up to at least a million at this point!

  We have to do something, pronto! I know, I’ll have Gibbs coordinate with La Raza. I’m sure we can help set up a few great reverse sting operations to make those xenophobes in Arizona look really bad. We can also orchestrate a scenario with some sympathetic figures—maybe an attractive pregnant Latina or an army veteran, who can claim they were called names and manhandled by local police. I also need to get our immigration rights advisors to organize huge, disruptive, May Day protests. We’ve got to maintain our momentum. I’ve decided to shelve my comprehensive immigration plans until next year, so I can focus on taking over the financial markets. But we can’t let up. We’ve got to lock down these cities across America—if only to keep my future voters from leaving! Until we get this law repealed, I’m boycotting Arizona Iced Tea.

  A CULTURE OF DEPENDENCY

  Winston Churchill once described an appeaser as someone who hopes that “if he feeds the crocodile enough, the crocodile will eat him last.” The same is true of businesses only too happy to cut deals with a predatory government. In August 2009, I had a spokesman on my radio show from America’s Health Insurance Plans, the trade group for the health insurance industry. AHIP had repeatedly expressed interest in working with Obama to craft compromise health-care legislation. I warned him that insurance companies were a mere speed bump along the way to the industry’s gradual nationalization under ObamaCare. He maintained that AHIP is smarter to hammer out a deal than oppose “reform” outright.

  After his initial failure to sell America on his utopian health-care vision, the president retooled the message, turning insurers into bogeymen (“the special interests who profit off the status quo,” as he so gently referred to them). Before long, I saw the same spokesman complaining in a newspaper article that insurers “do not deserve to be vilified for political purposes.” So much for the fruits of playing nice.

  Within a week of the health-care reform bill’s passage, AT&T, Verizon, Caterpillar, Deere, Valero Energy, AK Steel, and 3M warned how the law would hurt their employees and customers. Democrats still high on their “historic” achievement went nuts. Beverly Hills Democrat Henry Waxman fired off a demand for these companies’ executives to explain themselves and beg forgiveness before his House Committee on Energy and Commerce. Fortunately for them, Waxman ultimately canceled the hearing once he realized that the forum could be used to showcase ObamaCare’s horrors.

  “Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot,” Churchill once said. “Others look on it as a cow they can milk. Not enough people see it as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.” I think Obama falls into his own category: he sees private enterprise as prey to be hunted and its corpse to be feasted upon.

  But private enterprise is not the only part of American society affected by a culture of dependence. Such a culture will hurt all of us. Surrendering to a life of government dependence saps the soul of its independent spirit.

  Remember Henrietta Hughes, the starstruck town hall attendee who pleaded on national TV for Obama to give her a house? In 2004, Henrietta lived in Rochester, New York, with her son Corey, a computer programmer. When Corey began suffering pains in his thyroid gland, he received free care from Dr. Carolyn Mok at the Mercy Outreach Center, a clinic for the uninsured and underprivileged, operated by the Sisters of Mercy.

  “There isn’t many doctors that will see you if you don’t have insurance,” Henrietta then told the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle. “There’s doctors, just out of the compassion and goodness of his heart, that will give his service or her service, and I’m very grateful to God.”

  Henrietta and Corey eventually packed up and moved to Florida, where they again fell upon hard times. By her own account, she used government assistance until the tap went dry. When Obama visited, she said no local charities were willing to help. But that’s not what the director of We Care Outreach Ministry, Tanya Johnson, says. Johnson said her faith-based charity gave Henrietta food and money and offered job-training courses for Corey, according to a report by southwest Florida’s WINK News. “We would have allowed her to stay for the first ninety days, no income. You know, free,” Johnson said. Henrietta said, according to WINK, that We Care Outreach Ministry “couldn’t meet her needs.”

  What about Natoma Canfield, whom we last heard Obama invoking at one of his final health-care rallies? Turns out she too had no reason to pen a personal appeal to the president. “She may be eligible for Medicaid,” said Lyman Sornberger, executive director of the Cleveland Clinic’s patient financial services. “And/or she will be eligible for charity [care] of some form or type. In my personal opinion, she will be eligible for something.”

  The Cleveland Clinic has personal guides to help patients find a program to assist paying medical bills, FoxNews.com reported. Even if Natoma failed to qualify for Medicaid, “there are probably eight to ten options that a patient has.”

  Far from spurring national cries for action, Henrietta Hughes and Natoma Canfield each exemplified success stories in American charity. Selfless acts fortify our society, as highlighted by the gratitude Henrietta expressed after her son received free care in New York. In Florida, we know she turned to state-provided social handouts; soon she was eschewing private charity and displaying the traits of an entitlement mentality.

  America is powered by millions of self-reliant individuals pursuing their own American Dream. Expanding the welfare state is like putting sugar in the gas tank.

  THE WINNING WAY

  A March 2010 poll from Xavier University found that 60 percent of Americans believe the American Dream is harder to achieve than it was for their parents’ generation.

  A growing economy that churns out jobs and opens new opportunities for wealth creation is the best antidote for Americans’ current unease about their economic future. We all must be actively engaged in the political process, supporting candidates who stand up for free market principles and reject the Obama takeover mentality. The stakes are too big for us to fail.

  As shareholders, we should urge companies to refuse the “helping hand” of government, so that they may remain competitive, free, and profitable. If you work in the business world, or own your own business, then we need you out there adv
ocating on behalf of economic liberty and the capitalist system. Too many in business rolled over for the big takeover artists in Washington, and we are all now paying the price.

  Government will always take more than it gives. Liberals of President Obama’s stripe will always spend instead of cut. It is the only way they can cultivate a dependent constituency, which in turn perpetuates their power. So it is up to us to oppose their efforts with the same zeal that Barack Obama has brought to his own radical initiatives. The alternative is not an option. Doing nothing, waiting for others to act, or hoping for the best will ensure only one outcome: you will be the next government takeover.

  CHAPTER 5

  FIT TO SERVE?

  Our growing softness, our increasing lack of physical fitness, is a menace to our security.

  —JOHN F. KENNEDY

  It was 11 P.M. on a Friday and the blizzard of 2010 was bearing down on the mid-Atlantic states. Washington, D.C. was in the bull’s-eye. For days, local news had warned of a massive, paralyzing snowfall. In the nation’s capital, that meant impassable roads (you have a greater chance of seeing Bigfoot in D.C. than a snowplow), power outages, and general hysteria. When I walked outside to shovel, we must have already had ten inches on the ground. And no, it wasn’t that light, airy, cotton-candy-type stuff—it was wet, heavy, heart-attack snow. An hour into it, my heart was racing, my turtleneck was drenched in sweat, and with my car still not totally dug out, my mind began to wander.

  I’m pretty fit, but man, this is harder than it was twenty years ago! My forearms, my back, my legs—everything hurts. What about tomorrow—how will I possibly dig out my car when two more feet have piled up? Heaven forbid, what if something happened to one of my kids during this blizzard? An ambulance couldn’t make it down my street. Am I strong enough to carry them through the snow to a main road? If we lose electricity, do I have a “survival kit” handy in case we need it to ride out the storm?

  Realizing how vulnerable I was, even in a state of solid physical fitness, I started wondering about my preparedness for other potential crises.

  What if there is another terror attack in Washington? What’s my “family plan” for rounding up my children and, if need be, getting out of town? If things got really rough, would I be able to provide for my family in a catastrophe? Eat off the land? I’m still traumatized from running over a squirrel on the way to taking my SATs! Could I build a makeshift shelter? Unless it was made out of Lego blocks, unlikely . . . uh-oh.

  By the time I finished my driveway, the snowfall had become blinding. But for me it was a moment of clarity about what I need to do to protect my children in an emergency. When 9/11 hit, I was childless and carefree. Things are different now. We live in a time of great peril. It isn’t all about me anymore; it is about them. So on a beautiful snowy night, I vowed to start taking preparedness more seriously.

  THE DIARY OF PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  February 6, 2010

  Man, Hawaii’s looking really good right now. This snow is really getting to me. Dying for a smoke. Cooped up here again with Miche, the kids, and Mother Robinson, who feels the need to bark out the latest weather news at awkward times. The woman insists on calling the National Weather Service herself at least twice a day—wants to “hear the weather from the horse’s mouth.” Whatever. And Miche . . . love her . . . but boy, if I have to hear one more thing from her about the latest drop in my approval ratings. “Do this, Barack.” “Fire this person, Barack.” “If you had only listened to me, Barack.” My head is going to explode. If I wanted this type of abuse, I could tune in to Rush Limbaugh!

  Wow, the snow is still coming down. How am I supposed to blow off steam when the b-ball court is covered by a foot of snow? Call me crazy, but I thought groundskeepers were supposed to take care of the grounds! Thought about shoveling it myself, but in case anyone hasn’t noticed—I am not just the president, I’m an international celebrity! Does Denzel shovel his own driveway?

  Actually, on second thought, anything to get me out of this place for an hour or so—and it’s the perfect cover to grab some smokes! Maybe a little manual labor would help me with the blue-collar types, too. They sure do get huffy about this whole jobs thingy. This unemployment issue is being blown out of proportion. I can think of worse things than getting paid to do nothing! Kind of like community organizing! LOL! Back to the b-ball court—I better ask the Axe. He’s great at managing the snow jobs. Get it? Snow jobs?! Man, I’m good.

  ARE YOU READY FOR THE NEXT CRISIS?

  Just because you don’t wear a uniform doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be fit to serve. We all have a responsibility to our families, neighbors and, yes, to our country, to be as prepared as possible for whatever life throws at us. Weather emergencies, other natural disasters, terror attacks, severe illness, accidents, crime—whatever it is, none of us can afford to be passive. Let’s face it, there won’t always be someone there to help you—especially if you are waiting for timely government response. Plus, why should any of us put ourselves in a situation where we have to depend on the government for a rescue? (Unless, of course, you’re AIG.) Invariably, a government “solution” means less power and money for the people, and more power and money for Washington.

  I know what you are thinking. How on earth can she turn a discussion on fitness and preparedness into a critique of the Obamas? Think of Michelle, with her toned arms, anti-obesity initiative, and vegetable garden. Or the president, with his daily workouts and weekend hoops and golf games. (And who can forget that campaign photo of His Buffness, shirtless in the Hawaiian surf?) The First Couple represents the epitome of fitness and seeks to spread the message of healthy eating to the masses. They are setting a positive example for the rest of us, are they not?

  THE DIARY OF PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  February 15, 2010

  They call me “No Drama Obama,” but I am on the verge of losing it. Miche is driving me nuts! I agreed to give her this anti-fat fiefdom so I could get help on health-care reform, not so she could be on my back 24/7 because I grab a few fries every now and then. Just because she’s an obesity czar doesn’t mean she’s suddenly Megan Fox! You know, if you live in a glass house . . .

  Every time I turn around, she’s braying on about how the country needs to start eating healthy, do more exercise, etc. Oh, please—a few training sessions with her overpaid personal trainer and now she’s Denise Austin? And as for the eating part, who’s she kidding? Is she sleepwalking when she orders those late-night quesadillas and nachos from the White House kitchen? She acts like she’s sacrificing when she says “hold the guac”! For fun, I told Sam Kass (the White House chef) to keep a list of what she eats on a daily basis. Here’s the rundown for today:

  BREAKFAST

  *3 fried eggs

  *bagel with “low-fat” cream cheese

  *plate of bacon (too many strips to count)

  *grits (double order, drenched in butter)

  *smoothie (if you consider a chocolate malted milk shake a “smoothie”)

  LUNCH

  *slab of baby-back ribs

  *bowl of jambalaya

  *“salad” (the garnish on the plate)

  AFTERNOON SNACK

  More ribs

  DINNER

  *Veal Parmesean w/ double baked potato (low-fat margarine—oooh, what restraint!)

  *green beans (untouched)

  *chocolate volcano “virtue cake” (it used to be called “sin cake,” but she made the kitchen staff rename it because she said it was “too judgmental”)

  *washed down with (1) cosmo and (1) glass of organic chianti

  BEDTIME SNACK:

  The last 3 ribs

  And she’s on my case every time I have a burger?! Next time she nags me, I’ll serve her up some steamed Baraccoli! Oh, am I good or what?

  Yes, it is great that they exercise, and yes, it is laudable that the First Lady uses her celebrity to encourage us t
o live a healthy lifestyle. But if the president and First Lady are going to lecture the rest of us about what we ingest, shouldn’t they live by the same rules? Months before she kicked off her fat fight, Mrs. Obama chatted with school children at a Cinco de Mayo event and spilled the beans about her favorite type of food. “I love beans and rice. I love mole. I love all the mole sauces, I love beef and lamb and quesadillas,” she laughed. “I mean, you name it. The question is, what don’t I like? I like it all.” Indeed. A few days later, the First Lady took her staff to a place called the Good Stuff Eatery for lunch. The fare included the “Prez Obama” burger (natch), regular burgers, smokehouse burgers, bacon cheeseburgers, and two types of fries. (Are they heart-friendly if “dusted” in sea salt, thyme, and rosemary?) The Washington Post reported that this was one of “several” outings Mrs. Obama and her aides had made to local burger and barbecue joints. “Sometimes you just need a burger,” staffer McCormick Lelyveld told the Post. “It was her idea.”

  For a couple that is supposed to symbolize health and fitness, there seems to be no end to their own fast-food noshing. Who can forget when the press pool followed the president and vice president to Ray’s Hell Burgers during their first months in office? It was supposedly a spur-of-the-moment food run—not that they had anything else to do. Barack Obama advanced the narrative of his historic presidency when he ordered the classic cheddar burger with Dijon mustard. Other burger runs followed with similar fanfare, including a particularly embarrassing trip to Five Guys with NBC anchor and lunchmate Brian Williams, who was doing a “day in the life” love-in with the president. (Shhh! Don’t tell the kids that Men’s Health magazine rated Five Guys Fries the “worst regular order of fries” in America—1, 464 calories, 71 grams fat [14 grams saturated], 213 milligrams sodium.)