Chrysalis (Dangerous Secrets)

by Francis, Rose

  “Stop stalling!” Blynken bellowed suddenly, turning toward him with flashing green eyes.

  Then Blynken rose and got in Nod’s face, even though Nod had at least half a foot on him.

  Nod saw a wildness in his eyes he wished never to see again.

  “Wynken and I have already done it man, it’s your turn!” Blynken said, punctuating his last words by poking Nod’s chest.

  “Yeah, don’t go second guessing now,” Wynken added from the chair where he sat, smoking. “It’s too late for that.” He smiled a lazy smile, glancing over at Blynken before taking a another drag of his cigarette.

  Still in Nod’s space, Blynken returned part of Wynken’s smile, but his own seemed different, not as natural.

  His energy had dropped, giving Nod the impression that he had exited his body.

  Nod watched Blynken head back to the girl, returning to his kneeling position beside her. He continued to stroke her face, and even wiped away her tears. Nod was struck by the juxtaposition of tenderness and brutality.

  Nod’s eyes went from one friend to the other.

  He didn’t know what disturbed him more—Blynken’s Jekyll-and-Hyde emotions or Wynken’s lazy calm.

  Then his eyes returned to the caramel beauty. He was surprised at how subdued she seemed, as if she preferred negotiating than fighting, even if no words could escape. Her protests had died down, reduced to quiet sobbing; tears escaping the confines of the blindfold and running down her face toward her ears. Her chest heaved every now and then.

  As she began to seem calmer, Nod found his own emotions calming down and with this newfound sense of control, thought once more about how he could reach his friends and find a way out of the deal. Yes, Wynken was right, they had done some terrible things before, but never anything like this, nothing that crossed the line from misdemeanor fun to calculated evil.

  “Nod,” Wynken’s gentle timbre pulled Nod out of his thoughts. “I got Sarah already, Blynken got Mary; it’s your turn to take her. This is our last project together as a family—let’s go out with a bang!” He laughed at his own joke.

  Nod was amazed at how simply Wynken said the words, as if they weren’t terrorizing innocent girls; as if the assignment was to read her a story instead of make her a potential news story.

  Nod looked at the girl again, torn. He wanted to just walk away but knew he couldn’t. He was almost sure that if he left the scene, his friends would do the deed for him and she would be terrorized even more.

  He shook himself out of his thoughts and focused on calming his pounding heart. He had to save this girl, and there was only one way he could think of doing it.

  He mustered up as controlled a voice as possible: “Okay you guys, just...just get out of here. I don’t want you watching me...work.”

  “Well all right man,” Blynken responded with what would have been a huge grin had he managed to make his mouth cooperate, as he turned away from the girl. “I was worried about you for a second there—thought you’d chicken out.”

  Blynken finally managed a grin, but Wynken was watching him with a suspicious look.

  “Nod, you’re not planning to just pretend you did it are you?” Wynken asked.

  Nod tried to look as if that thought hadn’t crossed his mind. He swallowed.

  “Come on man, who are you talking to again?”

  He hoped he was pulling off the cavalier attitude he was going for.

  “I don’t know,” said Wynken, shaking his head slowly, “you never hesitated in any of our tasks before. What’s so different about this one?”

  You’ve got to be kidding me, Nod thought.

  “Look, I said I’m in, I’m in. So get the hell out of here freaks. Let me do my thing.” Nod attempted to muster up his usual grin of camaraderie.

  Wynken gave him a long, steady look. Then his face broke into a smile. “We’ll be waiting outside,” he said. “So how long do you think it’ll be? About two minutes?” He chuckled, looking over to Blynken again who was now playing with the girl’s hair, in his own world once again.

  Wynken put his cigarette out and got up.

  “Don’t forget to cover up; no evidence.”

  Blynken stopped playing with the girl’s hair and stood. He gave Nod one last inscrutable glance before following Wynken out of the cabin.

  Nod watched them leave, then looked at the girl again. He went right up to her, then sat down next to her, watching her for a few more moments, unsure what to do next.

  He hadn’t realized how sadistic his friends were—particularly Wynken—until five minutes ago when they walked her toward him.

  She’s so beautiful, he thought, remembering what she looked like without her restraints.

  He would have loved to have had the chance to earn the right to do what his friends wanted to make him do, simultaneously ironic—trying to force him to force himself on someone.

  He looked down at the beauty again.

  He almost would have thought she had gone asleep if he wasn’t so sure she was thinking about him at that moment, waiting for his next move.

  He knew what he had to do.

  Nod’s nerves felt like mini-boa constrictors, choking his entire body, leaving him gasping for air as he came to his decision. He looked up at the painting above the cocktail table for comfort, consolation, but the figure from Munch’s “The Scream” just looked at him in horror.

  He looked back down at the girl.

  This is the only way I can save you, he thought, unzipping his pants.

  The sound seemed to bring her to life again and she started wiggling around, making noises.

  Even though she was struggling more, she still didn’t try to kick him as he expected, even though her legs were free.

  Perhaps she thought if she struggled too much, they would kill her—she had no reason to think she wasn’t amongst murderers after all.

  Nod reached over and touched her face gently.

  It was time.

  ***

  A few minutes later, Nicholas had stopped moving about.

  “I’m sorry Sydney,” he whispered, “I’m sorry...”

  ***

  In the morning, Nicholas burst into the kitchen, finding Eddie as he was pouring himself a glass of orange juice. Eddie watched him uneasily, looking concerned.

  “Eddie help me out here...I’m going mad—I’m really losing my mind here...”

  “Hey, bro—easy. Is it Sydney again?”

  Nicholas ran his hand through his hair.

  “Yeah man, but not just her.”

  “Then what else?”

  Nicholas sat on a stool behind the kitchen island.

  “I...” he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “I had a dream last night...in fact, I’ve had several for a while now but they were only bits and pieces. This last one really shook me up though it felt so real...Jesus Christ.”

  He felt agitated again.

  “Hey Nicholas, calm down. You want some tea or water or something? Yeah let’s get you something to drink. Marla!”

  The servant appeared, duster in hand.

  “Make my brother some tea—something soothing.”

  Eddie turned to him.

  “I don’t want to hear it until you’ve calmed down a bit,” Eddie said.

  The tea itself didn’t calm Nicholas down, but the act of drinking it did since he had to slow down to prevent burning himself with it.

  A half-cup of chamomile tea later, he was still shaken.

  “So what’s this about bad dreams?” Eddie asked. “Had to be pretty bad to have you up this early.”

  Nicholas took a deep breath.

  “You’re the first person I’m telling about this Eddie...”

  “Naturally,” Eddie replied, looking at him patiently.

  Nicholas continued:

  “A while back, I started having these dreams. They were always just figments though, but they always involved Sydney. And they were always bad—she was in danger. But
like I said, they were always just figments, figments of...terror. I swear, it was like some thriller or horror movie. I didn’t really know what was going to happen or what was happening to her or who was doing it but last night Eddie...god, last night...”

  “Take it easy bro.”

  Eddie squeezed his shoulder in support.

  Nicholas took a deep breath and started again.

  “The dreams started about two years ago. They didn’t happen often, in fact, the second one happened about six months after the first. But they’ve become more and more frequent in the past three months. Sometimes it was someone saying Sydney’s name, or Sydney struggling against some guys who had kidnapped her. Other times Sydney was begging for mercy as she was brought into a house, but she was blindfolded and gagged.” He looked at Eddie. “That it was Sydney in danger was always clear, but who the other people were...” Nicholas shook his head. “Last night there was more: the same stuff I had seen before got repeated but it was all put together, probably even in sequence. Sydney was taken, gagged and blindfolded, to a familiar cabin.” Nicholas stopped and looked Eddie dead in the eye. “The Dhalton cabin Eddie. There were three guys involved: two of them, I know them well. As for the third...”

  He couldn’t continue. He felt so embarrassed, so anguished by the conclusion that he almost decided not to finish. But he figured it was just a dream anyway; Eddie might help him figure it out.

  “Two of the guys left the cabin, leaving one with her and this last guy...it was me Eddie! They wanted me to rape her!”

  Eddie followed up his declaration with silence, his expression a mixture of confusion, fear, and shock.

  “I don’t know what else happened—I don’t know if I did it or they did or what—I don’t know what any of this means.”

  After a few moments of silence, Eddie asked:

  “So that’s why you’re so weird with her man?”

  Nicholas nodded.

  “Yeah. At first I was wondering if she was in danger, but then I started to feel like it was me putting her in danger. Then I figured it means I’ll hurt her; emotionally of course—you know how dreams go, exaggerating everything.” Nicholas attempted a laugh that sounded empty even to his own ears. “And then I was wondering if maybe it was one of my friends who might hurt her or something.”

  “Yeah.”

  Edward just stared at him.

  Nicholas stared back at Edward.

  “Can you give me a little more than that?”

  “Hey, I agree with you man. I’m no dream interpreter, but that’s what it seems to point to.” He shook his head and whistled. “Still weird though, like some kind of x-file.”

  “Tell me about it. And this dream last night...it felt so real. It freaked me out so bad bro. Look—I’m still shaking! I mean it can’t mean...I wouldn’t...” Nicholas took a breath and tried again. “You don’t think I’d...” he whispered the last part as if speaking it aloud would make it true: “I’d do something like that to her do you?”

  “Nicholas, no.” Eddie’s dismissive expression was genuine enough to make him feel better. “Come now, you know yourself better than that. How would you even be able to do something like that? You’re too ‘fond’ of her, to say the least.”

  “Yeah but I do want her man. Badly.” He let out a breath. “I really do have to leave her alone don’t I? I have to stay away from her.”

  Eddie sighed.

  “I appreciate your dilemma, but I don’t know how you’ll do it—you’re way too obsessed with her.”

  “I’m not obsessed Eddie—I just happen to care for her. A lot.”

  “Yeah, out of nowhere.”

  “These dreams Eddie—they led me to her.”

  “Now isn’t that ironic? I thought they were supposed to keep you away from her?”

  Nicholas had no reply.

  He thought it over, then found himself conceding Eddie’s point.

  I’ve been wrong this whole time, he thought, maybe I’m the one who’ll keep her out of danger. Yes, that had to be what the dream meant.

  All these strange, jolting dreams he had of her, these dreams that were sometimes nightmares, he wondered sometimes if he was supposed to protect her.

  Perhaps it was the reason he craved her, why his heart kept trumping his brain and defying all reason by wanting her. He was meant to meet her, help her in some way.

  He thought about the party incident and it helped confirm his new theory.

  He also thought about the other two people in his dream, and he figured they were the danger to her, even though he hadn’t seen them in years. He wondered about his two old friends then, where they were, what they were doing, how much of a real chance they had of popping up again in his life and causing trouble for him and Sydney. About the chances of them crossing paths again. He didn’t know how, but he figured it would be his fault if they did anything to her.

  “Yeah, you’re right man. There’s no way I’m letting something like that happen. Maybe it all means I’m supposed to be with her. I can’t believe I let it slide the first time—it was so obvious. I’m supposed to be there to protect her—not protect her by not being there.”

  And for the second time in as many days, Nicholas decided how to proceed with Sydney—this time, committing to being by her side.

  Nicholas cancelled his date with Amber, who was more than a little disappointed and demanded to know why. He told her he had forgotten he had promised his sister they would go out. A white lie; didn’t matter.

  He called up Sydney.

  ***

  Sydney watched her brother walk toward her, a strange expression on his face—partly amused, partly confused. He handed her the cordless phone.

  Sydney’s heart leapt in her throat and sat there when she heard the voice on the other line.

  All thoughts of breakfast disappeared.

  “Nicholas? Wait—how did you get this number?”

  “You know, sometimes our friends have the best intentions when they do the worst things. Well, maybe your friends, not mine,” he said.

  Sydney silently cursed and thanked Maria.

  “Look, I’m sorry to call you like this, catch you off guard...”

  “No, it’s okay. I mean, you did catch me off guard, but...hey, hold a sec while I get out of here. My whole family’s all up in our conversation.”

  She grinned at Adam who seemed to be scrutinizing her every word and facial expression, then left the kitchen to go to the family room.

  “So, how have your holidays been so far?” Nicholas asked.

  “Well, since it’s only the third day, not much has happened. My brother’s been asking about you.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, sounding surprised.

  “I told him I met some whacko this last term.”

  She grinned to herself, waiting for him to take the bait.

  “Whacko, huh? Well, at least I was worth mentioning,” he said.

  She could hear the smile in his voice.

  “Any particular reason I’ve been honored with this call?” Sydney asked.

  “Well, I was just wondering if you’d be interested in maybe going out to see a movie sometime? I mean I know you’re at least in the same state as me—not sure how far away but that’s no biggie. So how about it? Later this evening? If I’m not too whacko for you that is.”

  Sydney smiled in surprise and pleasure.

  “I wouldn’t mind at all...as long as you don’t walk off and leave me in the cinema all by myself.”

  “Sydney I’m not leaving you like that again,” he said. “Listen, I know I have to stop fighting how I feel about you, so let’s see how this goes.”

  She laughed at his phrasing.

  “Okay then Nicholas—let’s see how this goes.”

  Sydney put down the phone, smiling.

  When she reentered the kitchen, she saw Adam grinning at her, dark eyes dancing on his handsome mahogany face.

  “That was him wasn’t it?” he sa
id.

  “None of your big fat business!”

  She stuck her tongue out at him and folded her arms. Then she grinned.

  “Yeah,” she said, dropping her arms. “He wants to go out with me.”

  “Really now? This from the guy who kept trying to keep his distance by approaching you, then dissing you.”

  “Hey, I told you he only came up to me once—I approached him all the other times. Although I did catch him watching me sometimes...”

  Adam was shaking his head, scribbling on a piece of paper in front of him, neglecting his bowl of cereal.

  “Listen, you sure you want to do this? Go out with him?” he asked. “He sounds like a bit of a psycho to me.”

  She smiled.

  “He’s okay. A little weird, but aren’t we all?”

  Adam shook his head again, clearly not content with her response.

  “I don’t trust it sis. How do you know he...”

  “He saved me once...”

  It slipped out easily but she immediately realized her error. Adam’s eyes bore into her but she hoped she had regained her composure in time not to make him suspicious. Then after a few seconds of silence, he said:

  “Saved you from what?”

  Her heart sank.

  “Oh nothing, nothing like what you’re thinking anyway.” She laughed. “From loneliness basically, it’s so embarrassing. Your sister’s a total nerd Adam.”

  “Not news to me Syd.”

  He was still watching her closely.

  “Come on Adam, stop watching me like that—like I’m hiding something or something...”

  “Are you?”

  “Adam, I told you. Between him and Maria, I’ve gotten out a bit.”

  “But you didn’t mention Maria saving you.”

  “I mean like, socially. Romantically. Sheesh!”

  “So he’s your boyfriend now?”

  “Adam!”

  Adam shrugged.

  “I’m just looking out for you. Don’t forget—I’m the only one who knows what happened to you a few years ago. And I’m still ready to kill the bastard who did it.”

  “Adam, you had no right to read my journal! And shut up before mom and dad hear you!” she said a little quieter.

  “Why didn’t you ever tell them? Why didn’t you plan to tell me?” he asked, lowering his voice as well.