Misadventures of a Virgin

by Meredith Wild

  “Wait.”

  My eyes widen. “Wait for what?”

  A smile curves his lips. “Patience, June. I wasn’t expecting you. I need to get a condom from the house. Can you wait for me?”

  I hesitate a moment. “You don’t have to. I’ve been on the pill,” I say.

  His smile fades. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

  I swallow. “It’s more intimate. I had to be sure I wanted that with you.”

  “Do you?”

  The minute he came last night, I knew I didn’t want anything between us again. I nod. “I do.”

  He lowers down over me, kissing me softly. “I know it pisses you off, but I haven’t been living as a monk. I’ve always been safe, though.”

  I tense beneath him. He’s right. The thought of him being with another woman makes me crazy. I try not to dwell on that. Instead, I let the idea of him being inside me take over. I reach for the button on his jeans again, and this time he lets me unzip him.

  Then I hear someone yelling. We freeze, staring at each other and then in the direction of the sound. In the distance I see the shrunken figure of a man in the field behind the house. Then another yell. It sounds like my name.

  I push Kase away and scramble to sit up. “Oh my God. It’s my dad.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Shit.

  The closer I get to Daddy, the deeper the panic sets in. He’s coming toward me and Kase as quickly as we’re approaching. He’s got murder in his eyes, and his arms are swinging wildly at his sides.

  “Daddy,” I say in my calmest tone when we meet in the middle of the field. “What are you doing here?”

  He shoves his finger at Kase, who slows behind me. “You better not have laid a finger on her.”

  My mouth falls agape slightly. I’ve rarely had cause to lie to my father, but this seems like a good time to start if it eases the tension rippling off him.

  “Daddy, what are you talking about?”

  He slides his angry gaze to me. “I went into town for some shopping, and do you know what I hear? I hear that Kase McCasker’s got some girl half naked in his truck down by the Conway Ledge trails. Is that true?”

  I swallow hard. Shit. Shit. Shit. When I can’t form a reply, the color in his cheeks rises to a fierce red. He looks back to Kase, whose face is an unreadable mask.

  “That’s what this was about? You thought you’d take advantage of my daughter, as what, a perk of the deal? Or were you planning to send her back after you had your way with her and foil the deal? Is Edwin behind this?”

  Kase slides his hand into mine. “June came here of her own free will.”

  “And you’re making a whore out of her! June, you’re coming home with me. Pack your things. Now.”

  My father’s words hit me like a slap to the face. Tears burn behind my eyes. Kase squeezes my hand, and the small show of support eases the pain a fraction.

  “If she goes, there’s no deal,” Kase says quietly.

  My father regards him with more malice than I’ve ever seen. “Surely there’s something you want more than her company for another week.”

  Kase’s jaw is firm, the muscles there bulging as he clenches.

  “Five percent,” my father says. “I’ll bump the price up by five percent. I’ll chalk it up to inflation with the investors.”

  My jaw falls. “Daddy!”

  Kase’s stance and expression haven’t changed.

  “If she goes,” he says with control, “there’s no deal, Mr. Bell. You could offer me double, and that wouldn’t change. My terms were clear. I’m not renegotiating.”

  “Bastard!” Daddy’s face is beet red. Sweat crowns his forehead. He’s in his requisite blazer, but he looks ragged, like he could turn violent at any time. He comes closer, until he’s only a few inches from Kase. “One day everyone in Falls Edge will know who you are.”

  He turns away from us both and marches toward the house. I follow after him, leaving Kase behind.

  “Daddy, wait. Please.”

  After several paces, he finally slows. I circle in front of him, but he doesn’t meet my gaze. He rubs the sweat off with a handkerchief from his breast pocket. “How could you let this happen, June?”

  I wince. Of all the ways I agonized over the potential pitfalls of this arrangement with Kase, I never expected this.

  I laugh roughly. “What did you expect was going to happen? You sent me off without a second thought. All you cared about was getting the deal in motion again.”

  “Don’t put this on me.” He points his finger and his weary gaze at me.

  Tears pool at the corners of my eyes, but I don’t want to break down right now. Because Kase is right. I chose to come here. And I’m not ready to leave yet.

  His expression softens. “June.” He sighs. “Just come back to the hotel. The land… I’ll make Edwin see reason. They want to sell. I’m sure of it. Everything he’s said this week points in that direction. They’re feeling the financial pressure more than ever. Even with Kase back, they may be too far behind to catch up. Hell, I can probably get it for less than the original bargain.”

  I can’t believe what he’s saying. “I’m not leaving.”

  He frowns, seemingly unaware of the tears streaming down my cheeks now. “You want to stay here?”

  I swallow hard. “I care about him.”

  He shakes his head. “June, no. This dalliance—whatever is going on between you two—can’t continue. I’m not losing you to a McCasker.”

  “You’re not losing me.” I stifle a sob, but they’re getting harder to hold back.

  His anger is back, flaring behind his eyes and stiffening his posture. “Do I have to go in there and pack your things myself? Just come back home, and we can talk this all out. You think you know that boy, but believe me, you don’t.”

  “I’m a grown woman. I agreed to stay here with Kase, and that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll come home when I’m ready.”

  “Goddamnit.” He paces a few steps away and turns toward Kase, who’s standing stoic in the field, watching us.

  “What did they ever do to you to make you hate them so much?”

  Daddy’s jacket moves as he inhales. “They took something precious from me. And I’m not going to stand idly by and watch them do it again.” He turns back to me, his expression grim. “You want to stay here, June? Fine. But mark my words. As soon as this land is mine, you’re not going anywhere near Kase McCasker. There’s nothing negotiable about that.”

  As he walks away, I can feel something inside me breaking. Not my heart. Something deeper, more foundational. I’ve never been at odds like this with my father. But no matter how much I want to please him, I can’t bring myself to follow him back to the hotel. At least for now, I’m rooted here. With Kase.

  I watch my father peel down the road, leaving nothing but dust and his anger lingering.

  Kase comes behind me, gently placing his hands on my arms. “You okay?”

  A sob rips out of me. I turn and bury my face in his shirt. We hold each other tight, and while I relish the comfort of the embrace, my father’s words echo through me over and over again, tearing a painful path every time.

  You’re making a whore out of her.

  I pull from Kase’s arms and wipe my face. “I need to be alone right now.”

  He frowns. “Let me stay with you. I can take the afternoon off. Chad can cover for me for the rest of the day.”

  I shake my head and sniffle. “No. I’m fine. You can go back. I’ll see you tonight.”

  I take strides toward the house, grateful when he doesn’t follow me. I don’t know why, but I long for the comfort of Kase’s bed and the quiet house. No prying eyes. No chatter. No responsibilities tugging at me.

  Even though I feel ripped apart, I’m glad it’s happened here, in a place that’s beginning to feel more like home than my room at the hotel. Far away from my father’s judgments and blind ambition. He’s never felt more like a stranger to me
, and for a moment, I wonder if being here has changed me so much, or if he’s only now showing how ugly his hatred for the McCaskers truly is.

  I climb the stairs and slip under Kase’s quilt, letting the tears run down the sides of my face. I pull his pillow into my arms and breathe in his scent. I miss him. As much as I wish he were here comforting me, I don’t want him to see me this way.

  With every breath, I try to let go of my father’s words. I sink into calm, comforted by the smell of the man I’m falling hard and fast for and the quiet house that’s letting me simply be. Then I let sleep take its hold.

  I wake several hours later to the sounds of dishes clanging in the kitchen. I rise and try to tame my bed head in the mirror that rests atop Kase’s dresser. My eyes are puffy, but the uncontrollable urge to cry until I have nothing left is over. The sun has set, and the sky is a darkening violet. Time has passed, and for now, my father’s words have lost enough of their potency that I can face Kase again.

  He’s in the kitchen chopping vegetables and sprinkling them over a large bowl of salad. He looks up when I enter the room.

  “Hey,” he says softly. He looks relaxed, but his eyes are filled with worry.

  I join him at the counter and peek into the large pot filled with his favorite boxed macaroni and cheese. I can’t help but smile at the orange concoction.

  “You really need to expand your repertoire.”

  He smirks. “It works in a pinch. And I branched out. I made a side salad.”

  “Looks good,” I say, popping a slice of celery into my mouth. “Do you need help with anything?”

  “I think everything is ready. Are you hungry?”

  I nod. “Starving. I haven’t eaten all day.”

  His brows wrinkle, but he moves quickly, makes us plates, and brings them to the dining room. We sit and begin to eat in silence. I’m famished, but as Kase’s dinner satisfies my hunger, all the things we aren’t saying—things my father said that I can’t stop thinking about—begin to weigh on me.

  I want to be here with Kase, but only for the right reasons.

  I set my fork down on my empty plate and contemplate what to say. “Kase, I think we should talk.”

  He leans back in his chair. “Yeah.”

  I sigh because I don’t know where to start. “My father…”

  He works his jaw and traces the edge of the table. “If I hear him talk to you like that again, June, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to control myself. Is that how he is with you?”

  “No. He’s angry sometimes, but I’ve never seen him like that. I think all of this—us—is sending him over the edge. I’m his only child.”

  “You’re not a whore, and if anyone dares call you that again, they’re going to get introduced to my fist.”

  I swallow over the emotion thick in my throat. “Why did he warn me about you? It’s like he hates you as much as he hates your father.”

  The silence that stretches between us only adds to my unease. Kase doesn’t make eye contact. Only now do I realize he hasn’t touched me since I came downstairs. The physical and emotional space between us feeds all my doubts about being here.

  I stand to leave, when he catches my hand.

  “Don’t go.”

  His gaze travels from our joined hands to the old, worn table and back to me. I ease back down into my chair.

  “I’ve never told anyone this,” he says softly.

  My heart starts to hammer a little faster. I hold my breath and wait for him to speak.

  “Your mom died when you were a baby, June. No one had to tell you when it happened. It’s how it always was.”

  Confused, I nod.

  “I know that doesn’t make not having your mother any easier,” he says. “But you never had to deal with the shock and try to work it out in your head.”

  “What are you saying, Kase?”

  “Edwin,” he says, his gaze floating up to the lilies spilling out of the vase on the table. “He’s not my father.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “What?” My eyes go wide. The air in my lungs exits from the pure shock of Kase’s confession.

  “But… Your mother. If she left—”

  He lets go of my hand.

  “Lily McCasker wasn’t some woman Edwin knocked up who took off after she gave birth to me. She was his sister, and he took her in.” He swallows and clasps his hands on the table, his focus fixed on the brilliant orange blossoms in front of us. “She was following a band around the country. Fell for the guitarist and ending up getting pregnant. She was hopelessly in love with the guy, but when she had the baby…me. Well, life on the road wasn’t a life for a newborn. So she came home.”

  “But you said she left.”

  “Edwin said he’d help support us until she could get on her feet. But she was barely here a week before her old life called her back.”

  He exhales heavily. His eyes are calm, serious, as if maybe he’s found peace with the tragedy of his parentage.

  “She left me with Edwin. Said she’d come back as soon as she convinced my father to settle down with her. Somehow, Edwin knew that wasn’t going to happen, so he decided right then to raise me as his own. In a small town, he figured it was the best thing. He was probably right, but I couldn’t accept any of that when he told me.”

  “When did you find out?”

  “Your father came to him with the offer when I had one foot out the door for college. He had your dad’s proposal in his hand when he told me. It wasn’t long after that night with you at the falls. He was worried about keeping things up after I left. Said he didn’t feel right selling it without my blessing, because the land could be mine one day. Whether or not I was his true son, I would inherit everything. But he fed me a lie for eighteen years.”

  “Edwin cares for you. I know he does.”

  His painful grimace breaks through the calm he’d shown before. I reach for his hand and hold it firmly.

  “There probably never would have been a good time to tell me the truth. But I had my whole life ahead of me, June, and then it was like nothing made sense. How could any of it matter when both my fucking parents abandoned me? I mean, I’d grown up making up stories about my mom, trying to rationalize why she left. But both of them?”

  The well of emotion within me inches to the surface again, and my heart breaks for the truth we both now know. “I’m sorry, Kase.”

  He shakes his head, a faraway look in his eyes. “He made me believe I was someone I wasn’t. I was devastated. More lost than I’ve ever felt in my life. Half dead, half trying to live. I told him to sell it. Have a nice life.”

  “But he didn’t sell,” I say.

  “I left early for school. Found an apartment and a job to help me with expenses. I only came home when I had to. But we never talked about it again. I just figured the deal fell through somehow. I think he was waiting for me to change my mind all this time.”

  Suddenly Kase’s absence makes perfect sense, and I feel worse for holding it against him when he had his own burden to bear.

  “But you came back to stay,” I say softly.

  He turns his blue-eyed gaze my way. “Because I’m done looking backward for answers. There’s nothing there, June. I spent four years trying to wrestle some kind of control over my past. Nothing changes the fact that the two people who put me here don’t give a damn. All I can do is look ahead and try to create something better. Something real that no one can tear away.”

  “Here?”

  He blinks and looks down at our joined hands. “That was the idea.”

  Tears brim my eyes. I pull away to wipe at them. “Kase, why? Why did you agree to this with me?”

  I push up from the table and walk through the house until fresh air hits me on the back porch. I want to keep walking. Through the field. Into the night and solitude of the mountains. I’d give anything to be at the falls right now, the steady rush of water drowning out my thoughts and dulling the pain.

  But an
invisible force pins me to the porch when I hear Kase’s footsteps behind me.

  Suddenly I remembered Edwin’s words the day I came here. I just hope you’re doing this for the right reasons, June. I’m not entirely sure Kase is.

  He’s spun this web and trapped me here with this twisted deal. I should be running from him, but I ache to be in his arms. To hold him through his pain and let him chase away mine. Tears stream down my cheeks as I search for answers that seem impossible and so far out of reach.

  I can feel his heat as he comes near, his presence like the pulse of my own heart. I grip my hands around my arms to keep from collapsing into the comfort of his.

  “June, don’t be angry with me,” he says. “Look at me. Talk to me.”

  I suck in a shaky breath and turn to face him. For all the dominance he’s shown me since coming back into my life, he’s showing me something different now. There’s something raw and vulnerable about the way he looks at me, like somehow I hold power over him now.

  I brush at my tears, but they just keep coming. And I thought I’d cried all I could today. “Kase… Why did you do this? You brought me here and made me feel things for you. You promised me a dream at the expense of your own. Why?”

  He cradles my cheeks in his hands. “Because I saw you again, and for a split second I remembered the person I was before my life went to hell. I remembered how that night felt between us. I remembered a hundred little moments when I’d wanted to talk to you and know you but held back. The past four years faded away, like some kind of terrible penance that I’d paid and could finally let go of. God help me, I saw you and everything made sense.”

  I close my eyes, pushing more tears down my cheeks. “But the house…the land.”

  “June,” he whispers.

  I sigh into the barest brush of his lips over mine and blink my eyes open. I yearn to be consumed. Taken under, swept so far away from the truth and the reality I now have to face. But he draws back, gazing deeply into my eyes.