Life Ain't A Fairy Tale

by Miguel Rivera

  When everyone is seated together at the table, we choose our preferred foods and drinks. Gina orders cake and chips. Sara, Lizzie, and Melissa order salads because they are excessively conscious about their weights. They can't get any thinner to me. They are not anorexic looking like many models, but they want to go there. I decide to take my favorite dish, chicken. I like eating the same types of food every day even when I go out. I differ with everyone when I ask for soda. Everyone, including the server, begins to laugh. Initially, the server thinks it is a joke and asks me again if I want an alcoholic beverage. I insist on drinking a soda.

  "C'mon Jimmy. Have a drink to loosen up and have fun. Let's party." Chad invites.

  "No, I don't drink. It is not my thing." I turn down the offer.

  "Don't be a party pooper. One drink doesn't hurt. Have one drink?" Gina insists.

  "I'm sorry. I never drink. It is my lifestyle." I respond.

  "Drink! Drink! Drink!" This chant is started by Melissa and continued by everybody on the table, including Sara.

  "No. No. I am not going to. Don't even insist." I stand my ground.

  "Jimmy, Jimmy, please. We are not telling you to get really drunk. Just one drink, for me, please." Sara insists. She wraps her arm around my neck. Sara gives that wonderful stare I like, but I am completely turned off. Why can't people respect my decision?

  "The answer is still no." I take her arm off my neck. I shake my head in disapproval.

  "Jimmy, I can't believe you." Sara sighs in disgust. Her face shows a lot of disappointment. When the drinks are served, she drinks a whole glass full in one gulp.

  My refusal to drink indisposes everyone, but they move on to talk about movies. I have become an outcast, something I am very used to. I eat my food and drink my soda quietly while everyone laughs about movie scenes. Unfortunately, I am not a movie fan. The last time I went to the movies, it was a homework assignment. I made a movie summary. I do not understand any of the jokes everyone is saying. I am guessing they are reenacting scenes where Chad changes his voice to imitate the actor's dialogue. Everyone chuckles and laughs as I am left clueless.

  Old memories in my high school cafeteria arise. During the first year of high school, I sat alone there. Sometimes, there were two girls sitting in front of me, but they ignored me. I spent most of my time eating alone. It was something I was very used to. To be honest, there was a part of me that felt bad about being a loner. However, there was another part of me that enjoyed having no one around. I felt like a rebel that didn't need friends to be happy. My video games and the love of my parents were my true happiness. Often, I felt relief when I sat alone because I did not feel the pressure and anxiety to impress anyone.

  There were two girls I knew from my middle school that sat with me. Back then; I was a very shy person who spoke very little. My shyness was confused with arrogance, but I was scared of saying something that would turn them off. Being social has never been my thing. I was the biggest prowrestling fan when I was young. Imagine how weird it would sound if I started to talk to these girls about headlocks and pin falls? They would be sitting there clueless. This also would make me not cool. My responses to their questions were short. I smiled a lot. Unfortunately, the girls got bored and didn't come back. I don't blame them for never coming back. If I were in their position, I would have done the exact same thing.

  I had a friend in middle school called Mike. It was highly probable we became friends because my middle school was small, and I happened to sit near him. Unlike the girls who got bored with me, Mike knew how to carry our friendship. During a conversation, Mike initiated it and spoke 90% of the time while I spoke 10%. It was a friendship I will always remember.

  Mike and I got along pretty well until we reached high school. He got turned off when we had a phone conversation where I said that I was feeling okay about starting high school. In reality, I was nervous like most kids are about starting something new, but I felt what I said would calm us down. Instead, Mike did not like my response and accused me of being a liar because he knew everybody was nervous. He discussed his fears of not succeeding in class work and not being able to fit in. His response made me even more nervous about starting high school. During high school, Mike did not talk to me. Back then; I never initiated a conversation. As a result, our friendship ended quickly. It wasn't his fault. We see life very differently. Our friendship was bound to end.

  In my second year and third year of high school, I sat with two guys who liked prowrestling. At the beginning, I was excited that I had found two guys I could relate to. Unfortunately, they both watched the wrestling show I did not watch. To complete the icing on the cake, their favorite topic was comic book heroes. I know nothing about non-mainstream superheroes. I became a spectator in their conversations.

  As I zone back into the nightclub, I am still bothered. This excessive pressure to drink upsets me internally. I do not appreciate it when a bunch of strangers try to impose their values on me. I said no repeatedly. What disappoints me the most is Sara joining the chorus. There are a few things on my mind that I would like to tell them, but I hold them back.

  Personally, drinking is a pointless social activity. I know too many highly confident people who get drunk with self-esteems higher than mines. I don't understand them. Do they suddenly become so scared when they walk into a club that drinking beer is necessary? A drunk Jimmy is not necessary to have a good time. I don't care if society thinks it is okay to drink. It is their free will to make the stupid decision to get drunk and not remember what they will do this evening. As long as they leave me alone, I am fine with their decisions.

  From watching them interact, I notice that Sara and Chad are very close to each other. They have good chemistry between each other, and Sara is constantly wrapping her arm around Chad's neck. It makes sense; they are coworkers Monday through Friday at Biopharm. Chad is like Sara's work husband. Knowing everyone has a couple of drinks in their systems, I expect the overt friendliness between Sara and Chad to escalate even more.

  Sara is intentionally ignoring me because she is still mad at me. Sara took my rejection too personally. She got mad for the dumbest reason, beer. Imagine how mad she will be if she catches me with another woman. This is infantile, like her belief that love is real. She is too immature.

  Everyone goes to the huge dance floor, while I remain seated watching everyone dance salsa, merengue, reggaeton, and other American dance music. Melissa starts dancing with a random stranger. At first, I see Melissa dancing, but I lose sight of her because she goes further away from the table I am seated. She blends in with the huge crowd occupying the dance floor. Lizzie and Gina dance together. It is cute to see them dance salsa because they look like professional dancers. Sara and Chad dance really close together. Sara is constantly glancing towards me throughout many dance songs. I do not know why she is looking my way; she is having a lot of fun.

  I am the kind of guy that enjoys seeing the girl I like dance, even if it is not with me. When dancing salsa and merengue, Chad raises Sara's arm, and she twirls with grace. Her hair twirls along with her. When the music changes to reggaeton, I enjoy how Sara dances sensually. She rotates her hips and backs her butt against Chad's crotch area. She is so sexy and flashy.

  After dancing with Chad for a while, Sara returns to speak with me where I am seated. She is in a conciliatory mood. Her breath stinks of alcohol, but I don't care. I feel lonely at the table. In a manner that is unlike me, I crave to be part of society. I want to dance with Sara. I don't know how to dance, but I was prepared beforehand to do some stepping. Hopefully, I will dance with her tonight after all. Before she speaks, she spends a few seconds looking me in the eyes. I do not say anything to her. We sit there looking into each other's eyes. The music being so loud doesn't allow this moment to be more romantic. She holds my hands.

  "Don't you love me anymore?" Sara has a sad puppy face.

  "Of course, I do Sara. Even if you are a little drunk." My thumbs physically put a s
mile on her face.

  "Why didn't you do anything when you saw me dancing with Chad? Are you just going to sit there and let any guy take me away?" Sara is upset because I did not do anything.

  "If that is what you want, you have the freedom to make the decision that is right for you." I can see the look on her face; she is irritated by my answer. This reminds me when I gave her a similar answer at the mall.

  "If I dump you right now, you are not going to say anything? Are you going to sit there all calm and happy?" Sara is visibly frustrated at me. I am being myself. Just because Sara is my girlfriend, it does not mean I own her. I cannot control her actions, and I never will. Sara does not seem to understand my actions. I do not get mad, angry, and display a strong outburst of jealousy. I don't have the poison inside me to act like that. Why is she expecting me to act like a crazy jealous person?

  "I will not be happy if you dump me, Sara. I know in life that happy endings are not guaranteed. If you dump me, I will be very sad, but what do you want from me? Sitting here calm is the only logical thing to do. What do you want me to do? Get off this chair and beat up Chad for dancing with you. That is not who I am. You have the freedom to do whatever you want. I do not own you."

  "Look Jimmy, I am not asking you to beat up Chad or give him a bloody nose. I don't want that. It frustrates me to see you sitting there. You have no opinion about anything. You sit there and don't even get involved in our conversations? It seems you don't care about me." Sara argues and still doesn't understand my explanation.

  "Yes. Of course, I care about you. Why do you think I am here? I am here for you. Do you know how many times I have been invited to nightclubs? Many times, my friends have invited me. I turned them down every time because nightclubs are not my things. I am a domestic person. I prefer small gatherings where there is little noise. Yet, I am here. I still haven't left. Do you want to know why? Because I care about you, Sara." I hug her and kiss her on the lips.

  She smiles at me and rolls her eyes. "I don't know if you are overly confident, stupid, or the smartest man alive. Please, Jimmy, dance with me? Please? Or are you going to say no to that too?" Finally, it looks like she is satisfied with my explanation. I am glad that I didn't have to make love to her publicly to make her understand.

  Holding hands with Sara, I do my best on the dance floor. I place my left hand on her waist, and I hold her left hand with my right hand. I take two steps to the left and two steps to the right in a repetitive pattern. As this happens with our feet, our body positions move around in a circular motion while maintaining my left hand on her waist and my right hand holding her left hand. This circular motion makes me feel a bit dizzy, but seeing Sara's joy gives me the energy to dance the salsa beat.

  Sara and I get lost in the dance music. Our dancing becomes simpler. We dance very sensually with her butt rubbing against my crotch, our knees bent, and our hips swaying from side to side. She wraps her arms around my neck, and we start kissing each other. The dance floor is filled completely with people. When I am with Sara, the dance floor feels empty. I feel like we are the only two people on the floor. I heard about the power of love and the superficial magic it brings. It is only now that I feel its true power.

  When it is around 2 o'clock in the morning, I am the only person sober to drive Sara and Gina home because they are too drunk. I hate driving. Especially in places I have never been to like New York. Lucky for me, my smartphone has GPS. Gina sits in the back seat while Sara sits in the passenger's seat. Sara struggles to remember what Gina's address is. Patiently, I get it out of her. I set my GPS. Chad takes the other girls in his car.

  On the ride back to Gina's apartment, I put up with night riding conditions and Sara and Gina's drunkenness. When it is nighttime, those bright lights bother and strain my eyes. It is harder to see street signs in the dark. In addition, I, who am usually a private person, have to hear how great I am in bed. I do not like people that I don't know or even do know hearing about my sexual intimacies.

  "I noticed the puppy love between the two of you." Gina says.

  "Hmm. What you saw tonight is nothing compared to what he does to me in bed." Sara brags.

  "Um, Sara, please, don't talk about this..." I start to speak when Sara interrupts me.

  "Shush. Be quiet. This is the price you pay for not drinking tonight." She puts her index finger on my mouth. Seeing how her arm interferes with my street view, I keep my mouth shut to avoid a car accident.

  "Where was I? Oh, Jimmy is so hot. Like for sure, oh my God." Sara fans herself with her hand.

  "Really, Sara. This quiet boy driving is a sex machine?" Gina asks skeptically.

  "Yeah, like oh my God. Jimmy did things to me that I did not know were possible." Sara sighs with pleasure.

  "Really?" Gina opens up her eyes wide.

  "This guy kisses all over my body. Oh, and he claims to be a virgin before he met me." Sara hugs herself.

  "What? This guy? A virgin? He is too hot to be a virgin."

  "I know right, Gina. Well this "virgin" you see here driving, took my bra off just like that. Like he has done this all his life. He didn't even ask to have sex with me. He just did it."

  "Oh boy, Sara. Those quiet ones are the filthiest of them all."

  "Speaking of nasty. This guy eats my pussy." Sara sticks her tongue out.

  "(Gina bursts out laughing) What the hell? Like it don't mean nothing?"

  "Exactly. He fingers me down there, and I squirt all over the place."

  "(Gina bursts out laughing again) Oh...my...God!"

  "It felt so good. I want you to blow my mind tonight again. Okay, Jimmy."

  "You got to let me borrow him. I've never squirted before. I want to squirt, too. You can't have all that fun to yourself."

  "Yeah. After I'm done with him, you can have him." They both laugh. I completely ignore them until we arrive at Gina's apartment.

  Sara and I carry a very drunk Gina from the apartment's parking lot to her bedroom. Of course, we take the elevator. Gina drags her feet the whole time. Sara, being drunk, makes things a little heavier for me. As Sara looks for the keys to the apartment, I prop up Gina. I am not a strong man. Gina's right arm is around my neck. I bend my knees and hold her waist to keep her standing. When Sara opens the door, we carry Gina to her bedroom. We leave Gina on her bed. Gina lays there asleep and snoring like a little baby.

  Sara and I sit together on a couch with a small lamp. I turn on the small lamp. The apartment is dimly lit. I ignore her annoying alcoholic breath. My lips kiss her forehead repeatedly. I feel like I am kissing her intellect, which is not very high after so much drinking. I stroke her black hair and caress her occipital region with tenderness. After a lot of kissing on the cheeks and lips, Sara asks me to make love.

  "Now? Are you sure, Sara? After so much drinking, I figured you would fall asleep." We sit side by side. Her head rests on my shoulder as my lips continue kissing her forehead repeatedly.

  "I am tired of only kisses. Give me love, Jimmy." Sara puckers up to kiss her lips.

  "What if your sister wakes up? We can't do it here."

  "Yes, we can. She's asleep. I'm tired of you saying no to everything."

  "I don't want your sister to catch me in the act of shooting."

  "Who cares? Oh, I want you to finger me again too."

  "In your dreams, I am not going to do that tonight. Your sister is within a short distance. Also, this is your punishment for talking about my intimacies against my wishes. Please, stop insisting your sister won't wake up. It can happen."

  "Punishment? What are you talking about? You are so hard to understand. I don't get you. My sister is asleep. Stop making excuses. Make me happy." Sara pulls on my shirt. Sara undresses to show a strapless purple bra and panty. Her crossed bare legs look very sexy. My hands caress both of her legs with delight. My lips kiss her belly repeatedly. I enjoy how her smooth skin feels. The desire to make love to her is very strong. Luckily, I am ready with a condom.

 
; "Jimmy, I am tired of kissing. When are you going to make love to me?" Sara becomes impatient. I like to enjoy the view before I make love. I am becoming the guy that has random drunk sex with his girlfriend. Love isn't real, but it consumes me. This might not happen again. I savor every second of it. I undress, place the condom, and turn the lamp off.

  In the darkness, I use my hands to find Sara. I stand near the couch. My hands find her hips. Her knees touch mines. Sara is lying on the couch. Her knees are bent, and her feet touch the floor. I separate her knees so I can travel to the destination. I feel the cloth of her panty to move it aside. I search for an area of depth to sink into. Once inside the cylinder, I grab her hips and push them towards my waist. Her legs wrap around my waist. It feels like Sara's legs hugs me.

  Moving my hips back and forward, I begin the pleasure of love. My movement is made slowly and gently to last longer. When pleasure begins to rise, I withdraw myself from the cylinder. I bend over to search for her breast to grab and fondle them. My lips find her Adam's apple, and my tongue licks her throat repeatedly in a vertical motion. I suck on her jaw and lower lip. I stand up straight again to resume humping her. I repeat the above pattern of love making three more times.

  After withdrawing a few times, I make love until I reach the orgasm. To my surprise, it takes a long time to achieve nirvana. Sara's moans of ecstasy encourage me. She makes me feel like a man. Slowly, my head feels light-headed, and my heart rate rises. As pleasure builds up, my hands squeeze her thighs. I accelerate my thrusting inside the cylinder. I hump her with more intensity. I moan loudly and uninhibited when the burning sensation intensifies. I lose focus of where I am, who I am, or what I am doing. Sara is so finger licking delicious. What a woman! The intense pleasure consumes my mind. I don't care who sees me. I am on fire. I feel a very strong orgasm. My heartbeat is higher than ever.

  I feel more lightheaded and fatigued after the orgasm. I withdraw myself from her to make sure the condom is still intact. Breathing heavily, my chest lays on top of her soft and wonderful breasts on the couch to regain my senses. My ears feel very warm. My body is burning inside. Both of our bodies are. I am too tired to think. Sara's heart is pounding against my chest. Her hair touches part of my face.