For the time being.
Because once is never enough.
We seek a constant pleasure now.
We need to push those boundaries even further.
Until there isn’t a line left we haven’t crossed…
Eleven
Kira
‘You’re looking very pleased with yourself.’
‘Hmm? Sorry?’ I look up at Joey with wide eyes, because I genuinely didn’t hear what he said there. ‘Did you say something?’
‘I said… it doesn’t matter.’
He waves a dismissive hand around his head and I smile, crossing my legs as I sit at the bar, sipping a cocktail specially made for me by Bam-Bams’ beautiful barman, Chico, a tall, dark Latino boy with cheekbones I’d kill for and a knack for mixing the best drinks I’ve ever tasted.
‘What are you doing down here anyway?’ Joey asks as he surveys his club, packed to the rafters, as usual. It hasn’t taken long for Bam-Bams, New York to become an instant hit.
‘You trying to get rid of me?’
‘I just thought you might, you know, have some work to do. Downstairs.’
I roll my eyes and pull a face, which he pulls right back.
‘If the wind changes you’ll both stay that way,’ Benni says, not looking up from the notebook he’s writing in as he approaches the bar. ‘Here again, Kira?’
‘I’m sorry, am I not welcome in this club or something?’
Benni closes his notebook and leans back against the bar, folding his arms as he joins Joey in checking out the crowd – old and young, gay and straight, flamboyantly dressed and casually chic, Bam-Bams seems to be pulling in quite an eclectic group of people. And it all makes for a fabulous atmosphere. A little different to Bam-Bams back home, but I think New York actually suits Joey better. And Benni. They’ve really slotted into life here.
‘I just assumed you’d be busy downstairs, angel, that’s all,’ Benni continues, signalling to Chico to fetch him a beer. I love Benni. In some ways he’s the complete opposite of Joey. He loves a beer, adores soccer, and hates ‘Strictly Come Dancing’, whereas Joey won’t be seen anywhere near a pint glass, abhors soccer – but I have it on good authority he wouldn’t be averse to a player or two – and he watches ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ almost religiously. Although, it’ll be ‘Dancing With The Stars’ now he’s here in the US. But, despite their differences, he and Benni just fit together. They work. So well.
‘We’ve only just opened.’ I smile at Chico as he hands me a second cocktail, and Joey looks at me. ‘What?’
He raises an eyebrow. ‘You and Blue Eyes had some kind of disagreement?’
‘Far from it.’
‘It’s just not like you two to be separated. You’re usually joined at the hip. Or just joined, actually. Literally, from what I can gather.’
I ignore him. ‘I fancied one of Chico’s cocktails while I wait for things to get going down there, that’s all.’
‘Get going?’
He raises that eyebrow again. He hasn’t actually been down to The Playroom that often in the week since we’ve been open, and part of me thinks that’s because he’s a little nervous to see what actually goes on down there. When we were back in Newcastle, yes, he knew what I did but he never actually saw it going on first hand. Maybe he thinks that coming downstairs, seeing what’s happening, the pictures on the wall; the atmosphere and the mood and the fact I actually go up there on stage and play for the public, I think he finds it all a little too uncomfortable.
‘Come downstairs with me, Joey.’
He looks almost startled at that suggestion, and I glance over at Benni, but he just shrugs. He has been downstairs, and seeing me naked; seeing me and Neal together in photographs, fucking and kissing and showing the world what we do together, it just didn’t faze Benni. I think it would faze Joey. He sees me as his little sister, his family. So seeing me like that – I don’t know. But he can’t avoid it forever. Not really. And I don’t want it to become something taboo between us. I think he’s just been too used to keeping what I do – who I can sometimes be – at arm’s length for too long.
‘I’m busy up here, angel. I can’t just go swanning off downstairs to check out your den of debauchery.’
‘Come on.’ I down the rest of my cocktail and slide down from the stool, taking Joey’s hand. ‘You’re coming with me.’
‘Benni, tell her. I’m needed up here.’
‘I think the place’ll survive without you for ten minutes, babe.’
‘Oh, and the next time you need some support…’
‘Stop being such a baby,’ I say as I drag him towards the secret stairs that lead down to The Playroom.
‘Even the name makes me uncomfortable… The Playroom…’
‘You’d feel even more uncomfortable if you knew the background to that name.’
‘I thought you said it just came to you?’
‘Yeah, well, sometimes I bend the truth.’
We reach the door that leads into the corridor beside Neal’s office, and Joey hesitates as we start to walk out towards the main body of the club. ‘I’m not a prude, sweetheart. God knows I’m anything but. It’s just that… You’re my baby girl, Kira. And I know – I know you look like an angel and behave like a filthy bitch on heat, but… knowing it, and seeing it, they’re two different things.’
I turn to him and smile, reaching out to gently touch his cheek. ‘I know. But you can’t hide away from here forever, Joey.’
‘I can try.’
‘Technically, you part-own the place.’
‘Yes, I’m well aware of that, but… take you and Kandi-Ann… It’s one thing doing what you do for one man, but a whole club full of people? You’re really OK with that?’
I shrug and lean back against the wall, pushing a hand through my hair. ‘Yeah. I’m fine with that. It’s just what we do, Joey. What I’ve done for over a decade now.’
‘Not for an audience, Kira.’
I shrug again. ‘One man, twenty people, two hundred… it’s all the same. It’s all an audience.’
He looks at me, narrowing his eyes slightly. ‘You’re getting some kind of kick out of this, aren’t you?’
I hold his gaze for a second or two. ‘Maybe.’ God knows what he’d think if he knew how much I still needed to satisfy that urge I have to fuck Neal in front of an audience. The live sex shows here are proving to be incredibly popular. They’re a big draw, be it mixed couples or same sex; solo, two people together or threesomes. Possibly more, we haven’t gone that far yet. But we’re not ruling it out. The people who come here – the regulars we’ve started to form bonds with – they watch those shows with a strange and beautiful calm that I totally understand. There’s nothing perverse or weird about it. Not to us. Not to those of us who know and live in this world.
‘Kira, angel, you’ve got to be careful, sweetheart. I mean it…’
‘Don’t start with the Kandi-Ann warnings again, Joey, OK?’
‘She try touching you off stage yet?’
I look down at my shoes, and I hear him sigh.
‘Kira!’
‘It’s not happening, Joey, alright?
‘Maybe it’s time for her to go home, babe.’
‘People are coming here to see us…’
‘So fuck another girl. Does it matter?’
‘Yes, it matters. I don’t just fuck other girls, Joey…’
And that’s true. I haven’t. I don’t want to. I don’t know if Neal wants me to. I don’t know whether the only reason he’s OK with it all in the first place is because it’s Kandi-Ann I’m playing with. Because he knows her. Because it’s safe.
‘I know that, Kira. And that’s the problem.’
I take his hand and we start moving again.
‘You told Blue Eyes yet?’
‘No.’
‘You should.’
‘You tell him, if it bothers you that much.’
‘I swear to God, I don’t know how
our friendship’s lasted as long as it has.’
‘I know the feeling…’
I pull him out into the main part of the club, and he stops in his tracks and looks around him, because it’s hard to take your eyes off the place, in all honesty. At first glance it seems just like any other nightclub – people dancing and drinking and talking as music blasts out around them. But then there are the TV screens showing snippets of soft-porn, the dancing going on across all of the stages; women, and men, in various states of undress, playing together, and alone, while some people watch and others just let it go on around them. And the biggest difference of all – the secluded corner at the far end of the club; the place where people can go to indulge their more voyeuristic fantasies. But I’m not sure Joey’s ready for that just yet.
‘Come here. Come on.’
I take his hand again and lead him over to a wall of photographs. Photos of beautiful people doing beautiful things. And some of those photos are of me, alone, and with Neal.
‘Oh, don’t make me look at those, Kira, it’s just too weird.’
‘You’re making such a big thing out of this, do you know that? You’ve seen me naked before.’
‘When you’ve been getting ready to go out, or when I’ve accidentally walked in on you in the shower. I’ve never seen you, y’ know. Like this.’
‘There.’ I stop beside a black and white photograph of Neal holding me, his arm loose around my hips, his hand resting low at the base of my spine as he looks right into my eyes. You can’t see anything, even though we’re both naked. And we aren’t even kissing, but it’s such an incredibly hot photograph that I shiver every time I look at it.
‘Hmm. OK. That’s a tasteful one, I’ll give you that… Looks like Brunette Barbie really is a dab hand with the old camera.’ He cocks his head and looks closer, and I can see his eyes are on Neal, they’re not on me. ‘That man is so unbelievably handsome he doesn’t seem real…’
I smile and drag him away, towards another photograph. And this time, although still tastefully shot – all the photographs we display are tastefully shot it’s just that, sometimes, they leave very little to the imagination – this time it’s quite obvious what we’re doing. It’s obvious Neal’s inside me, that he’s fucking me, hard, and I smile because the memory of it happening is still fresh in my mind.
I look at Joey, and he’s got his hand over his eyes.
‘Oh, stop being a baby. I’m a big girl now. What do you think I went out to do every day for the past ten years?’
‘I tried not to think about it, angel. And now you’re shoving it in front of my eyes in all its black and white glory.’
‘You can’t hide away from here forever. You can’t avoid coming down here…’
‘Like I said, I can try.’
I pull his hand away and hold his head, making him look at the photograph. ‘I’m being cruel to be kind here, Joey.’
‘There is no logic to that whatsoever… Oh, dear Lord…’
He eventually gives in and looks at the photograph, and I take his hand, feeling his fingers squeeze mine tight.
‘I love him, Joey. I love him so much.’
He smiles, and I squeeze his hand back. ‘I can see that, angel. Literally, as it happens.’
He looks at the photograph again.
‘I never realised just how beautiful you really are, Kira.’
I lean into him, and I am so glad he’s here. Because I need him, more than he realises.
He turns to kiss my cheek, letting go of my hand. ‘But you’re still a twisted bitch.’
‘I work hard at that.’
‘OK. You win. You got me to look at your porn pictures. But don’t for one minute think I want to watch you doing anything up there on that stage. For God’s sake let me keep a little piece of you private, although, Christ knows that piece is getting smaller by the day. Where is Blue Eyes, anyway?’
I look around, because I have no idea where he is. Given the day we’ve had, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was back in his office catching up on some sleep. But he isn’t. He’s over by the main stage, talking to Alan, and my heart starts to beat that little bit faster at the sight of him. Even here, in this crowd, amongst all these people he stands out. Dressed in dark pants and an open-necked pale grey shirt, his hair pushed back off his face, he’s the most beautiful man in the room. And when he looks up, and his blue, blue eyes meet mine I am lost. I’m thrown right back to just a few hours ago when we were fucking and hurting each other and I can almost feel the ripples of pleasure washing over me as I stand there and wait for him to come over.
‘Hey, beautiful.’
‘Hey back.’
‘I’m out of here,’ Joey sighs. ‘I think I’ve seen enough for one visit.’ He gives Neal a smile and squeezes his arm. ‘You two have a good night, doing whatever the hell it is you do down here.’ And then he turns and flounces off, back to the more familiar territory of Bam-Bams.
‘He alright?’ Neal asks, swinging me into his arms and I hold on to him, because I’m right where I want to be now.
‘He’s fine.’
‘You force him to come down here?’ He raises an eyebrow, and I look back at him innocently.
‘Force is a bit of a strong…’
He keeps that eyebrow raised.
‘Oh, come on, Neal. He can’t hide away forever. He had to see it some time.’
‘He’s seen the club, Kira. What he didn’t want to see was his little girl, naked, in the arms of her hot, handsome lover.’
I smile as he kisses me long and slow, laughing quietly as he drops a hand down on to my bottom. ‘Even if you do say so yourself, huh?’
He grins back at me, and I swear, he can still make my heart skip a beat, as corny as that sounds. But he does, he makes that happen. And I fucking love the feeling.
‘Do you know what I feel like tonight?’ he murmurs, kissing the space just below my ear, and the second his breath hits my skin that familiar tingle shoots right through me. ‘I feel like watching Kandi-Ann finger-fuck you slowly while she sucks on your tits and you beg for mercy.’
He wants a private show. We’re not doing our thing in public tonight, so, yeah. He wants a private show.
‘You gonna do that for me, baby?’
I don’t think there’s a thing I wouldn’t do for him now. I’m not even sure within reason comes into it anymore. He wants it, I’ll give it to him. I’m in so deep I don’t even know if there are any more lines left to cross.
‘Have we got a private room free?’ I ask, burying my fingers in his hair and he kisses me, deep and dirty.
‘We’re going home.’
‘Home?’
He cups my cheek and strokes my skin and it’s like he’s hypnotising me. I’m already under his spell, just like that. ‘We’re going home,’ he whispers, his lips barely brushing mine. ‘Go find Kandi-Ann, then we’re getting out of here.’
He lets me go and I lean back against the wall, watching as he strides back over to Alan, to let him know we’re leaving. We’ve only just got here, and he wants to go home. To play, in private.
‘Something up?’
I turn to see Kandi-Ann standing beside me, stunning, as usual, in a figure-hugging red dress that only accentuates her dark hair and olive-toned skin. ‘We’re going back to the penthouse.’
‘You and Neal?’
‘Yeah. Me and Neal. And you.’
We lock eyes, and she smiles a slow smile, but I wish she hadn’t. Because it makes me feel more than a little uneasy. ‘That man of yours after some girl-on-girl action tonight, huh?’
‘Whatever he wants, he gets.’
Her eyes continue to stare deep into mine, and the less wary part of me is excited by what’s going to happen when we get back home. I love playing with Kandi-Ann, but I know it’s dangerous. I know I need to be careful. I know all of that. But with Neal in the room, it’s going to be OK. It’s fine.
‘Whatever he wants, huh?’
She leans back against the wall beside me, breaking the stare, and I look out around me. I still can’t believe I’m standing here, in the middle of my own club, in Manhattan. That Joey’s here, and I’m in love, with a man my entire world revolves around. I can’t believe the world we’ve created is one we can live outside of the confines of our own private space. I just don’t know why that scares me.
Obsession (Forbidden #2) Page 10
