‘Come on.’ I ignore her comment. She thinks I give him too much; thinks I let him take too much control but she doesn’t understand what he is to me. How badly I need him. ‘We’re out of here.’
‘Kira.’
I swing back around to look at her, and there’s something in her expression now that’s changed. She seems genuinely concerned. About something. I’m just not going to push it. ‘What?’
‘Are you really happy, babe? Being here. Being with Neal.’
I can’t believe she would even ask that. And I’m not going to answer her question.
‘We need to go, Kandi. You coming?’
And then her expression changes again, and she’s back – the Kandi-Ann I know is back, and she moves closer to me, resting a hand gently against my cheek as she leans in to kiss me, slowly and softly and I close my eyes and let it happen. ‘Any minute now, honey. Any minute now.’
Twelve
Neal
It’s not happening in the playroom. That’s mine and Kira’s private space. Nobody else goes in there. Nobody else need know it even exists. Nobody invades those fantasies. So what’s happening tonight, we’re keeping it in the bedroom.
I close the door behind me, and she’s standing by the window, looking out into the darkness, arms folded against herself and I wonder if she’s OK. She looks deep in thought, and I might be wrong, but she didn’t seem to hear me come in. So maybe her mind’s somewhere else.
I walk over to her and lightly touch her hip, to let her know I’m there. She’s only wearing the tiniest pair of white panties and a tight white T-shirt, crazy-high heels making her almost as tall as me as she turns around and smiles. Maybe I was worrying about nothing. She seems fine.
‘Where’s Kandi-Ann?’ I ask, tucking a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear.
‘Bathroom. She’s just grabbing a quick shower.’
‘Good. That gives us a few more minutes alone.’
She smiles at me again and I lean in to kiss her, the taste of her flooding me, a nervous excitement washing over me, and I wonder if it really is a good idea, to go where I want to go tonight. But I want it, so fucking bad. So I’m going there. I’m risking it. I need to know what it feels like. Yeah. It’s gonna happen.
I kiss her that little bit harder, dropping my hand to touch her, and even through her panties I can feel she’s wet and I breathe in deep, because I want to sink my fingers into her, to feel her against my skin and she responds, loosening my shirt and pushing it back off my shoulders. And still we’re kissing.
‘A few more minutes alone,’ I murmur as I pick her up. She winds her legs around me, gripping me tight as I carry her over to the bed, and I gently lay her down before quickly undressing. I need her naked, too. But Kandi-Ann doesn’t get to strip my girl tonight. That’s my job. And she doesn’t fight it, she lets me free her of her T-shirt, lets me drag her panties down and I’m between her legs within seconds. And we’re still kissing.
‘You guys starting without me, huh?’
I look up and throw Kandi-Ann a smile. Yeah. She gets it. She knows what’s going down here tonight. But if Kira doesn’t want this…
I feel her hand on my cheek guide my head back around to look at her, and I can see it in her eyes – she’s OK with this. She nods, just the tiniest incline of her head but, yeah, she’s OK with this.
Kandi-Ann lies down beside us and I roll off Kira, propping myself up on one elbow as she turns to face Kandi. They start kissing – and this is very much playroom territory, what’s happening here, but like I said, nobody else goes in there. Because when this is over; when I’ve satisfied this urge inside of me, I want it to be just me and Kira again. Until the next time? Who knows. I’m on a road I’ve never been down before. I can’t know anything for sure just yet.
Kira pushes Kandi-Ann onto her back, and then she’s up on all fours, her ass raised high in the air as she leans over to suck on Kandi’s tits, her tongue flicking over each nipple in turn as she touches her pussy, moving her hand up and down, which causes Kandi to moan quietly.
I want to reach out and palm Kira’s ass; let my fingers splay out and press against her soft skin, and I will, in time. But right now I’m enjoying watching what’s going on in front of me.
But as Kandi flips Kira over, reversing their positions, I’m guessing it won’t be long now. Before this game takes on a whole new edge. And I can’t stop that nervous excitement flooding me again.
Kandi slams her hand against Kira’s pussy, causing Kira to groan loudly, and then laugh as Kandi takes it down a notch, palming her gently, and I can see how wet Kira is; Kandi’s fingers are covered in her. She’s so ready for me now, and I reach out and touch Kandi’s thigh, a sign for her to let Kira go. It’s my turn. And she gets it. She looks at me, throws me a knowing smile and pulls back from Kira, allowing me to take over.
I move so I’m lying over her, our eyes locking as our fingers thread together and I feel Kandi-Ann lie down next to us, so close her body touches Kira’s, and that’s more of a turn-on than I’d anticipated, having her this close. But then, she needs to be close. For this to happen.
I hear Kira inhale sharply, her eyes briefly closing, but she knows I like them open so they’re shut for just a second before she’s looking back at me. And I squeeze her hand a little tighter. It’s almost like the equivalent of our safe word – I squeeze her hand, she squeezes back, and everything’s OK. We keep going. I’d know if she didn’t want this. I’d know.
Keeping her eyes locked on mine she lets go of my hand and reaches for Kandi’s, their fingers sliding together, and then she turns her head away from me, to kiss Kandi. And as they kiss I push inside Kira. I’m fucking her, and she’s kissing another woman, and I am so freaking turned-on, man, this is messed-up! But watching them together… Jesus!
Kandi turns onto her side to face me and Kira, and now Kira’s kissing me, and both her and Kandi are touching my ass and I’m thrusting hard, like my fucking life depends on it. And that’s when I reach out and touch her. Kandi. But I don’t look at her; I don’t want to look at her. I want to touch her, but I want to look at Kira. And it’s Kira I’m kissing, Kira I’m fucking, but my fingers are inside Kandi, and I swear, I could die right now and be happy. This fucked-up mess is all I want now. My head’s spinning; my brain’s fucking scrambled, and all I know is I’m inside two women, at the same time, and that’s one fantasy I didn’t even know I wanted to fulfil. Until a day or so ago. When I started to realise there may be more to Kira and Kandi’s relationship than either of them are telling me. And I still don’t know how much that bothers me.
They’re still touching me, and I’m still inside both of them, but I’m close to coming now. I can feel it, that climax that’s about to hit; engulf and overwhelm me, and it’s happening. I’m spilling out inside of Kira, and my fingers are working on Kandi, and she’s coming too, her cries merging with mine, Jesus Christ! This is beyond crazy!
But as soon as Kandi’s climaxed I yank my fingers out of her and pull Kira close, kissing her gently. This isn’t over for her. She hasn’t come, and I want her to come. I need to feel that happen; make that happen.
I look into her eyes, my hand resting lightly against her cheek. ‘OK?’
She nods and smiles, and I kiss her again before I glance over at Kandi. She knows what to do now. We both do.
I keep my hands on Kira’s hips as I move down, kissing her warm, soft skin as I go, trailing my tongue down over her stomach, her inner thighs, and as I reach her pussy she opens her legs wider, but before I dive in I glance up again. And Kandi’s there, sucking on Kira’s tits, her tongue circling her nipples, and Kira’s arching her back and gripping the pillows tight and my cock’s hard all over again.
I feel Kandi reach out and sink her fingers into my hair as she pushes my head down. She’s telling me to get to work, and I’m there, I’m on it. She’s sucking Kira’s tits, I’m licking her dry, drinking her in, and her beautiful moans and cries fi
ll the room as we play with her.
I pull her wider apart; open her up and slide my tongue inside her, which makes her cry out and buck those incredible hips as she thrusts herself against me, and she’s hot and wet and I am so far down this fucked-up road now I’m never turning back. Don’t even threaten me with reality because I’m never going back there. I don’t have to. I don’t need to. I can stay here, with Kira, and live in our own messed-up world.
I pull out of her, and she groans, so I dive back in, sliding my tongue back inside her and the sigh of relief she gives vibrates right through her. But I know I’m not doing this on my own. I know Kandi’s doing her bit, too. Together we’re gonna make Kira come, and it’s gonna be freaking amazing!
And as I start to feel her body react to what me and Kandi are doing; start to feel her stiffen slightly, I keep my tongue inside her, and I wait. It won’t be long now. She’s getting there, and she’s getting wetter and hotter and then she finally lets go, releasing it all in a series of almost violent spasms. We’ve done it. She’s coming, and I’m swallowing her down as fast as she’s giving it to me, and it’s my name she’s crying out as she bucks and jerks beneath me. My name.
I hook my arms up under her knees, keeping her against me as the climax continues to rock her body, and I don’t know what Kandi’s doing to her now, I’m too busy down here to care. But Kira’s gone quiet so I suspect she’s kissing her. Which is fine. I like it when they kiss. They look beautiful together. But Kira is still mine. She’s mine.
She finally begins to slow down; her jerks become less frequent, her sighs quieter, and I eventually pull away from her, wiping my mouth with my forearm as I kneel up and look at what’s happening. Yeah. They’re kissing. And Kandi-Ann has her hands all over my girl’s tits, rubbing her palm over Kira’s nipple in a slow, circular motion and for a few seconds I just watch. And then Kandi looks at me, and Kira looks at me and, man, I really am in some crazy kind of heaven here. They want me to join them, and what the hell else am I gonna do? I’m not done yet. I’m not finished.
I lie down on the other side of Kira, and she turns her head to me, and I kiss her, and she sighs quietly as she tastes herself on me. Kandi still has a hand on one of Kira’s tits, but I reach out and cover the other one, her nipple rock hard against my palm as I kiss her again. I don’t want to kiss Kandi. It’s way too intimate.
And shoving my fingers up her pussy wasn’t?
No. Not in the same way. Kissing is something I only want to do with Kira. I’m not going there with anyone else.
But it’s fine for Kira to kiss Kandi, huh?
Yeah. I’m so OK with that it’s wrong. But I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing anymore. And the terrifying thing is, I don’t care.
I feel Kira’s fingers in my hair, feel her pull back from me slightly and I look at her. Jesus, she’s so fucking beautiful I can’t breathe right now.
‘Enough,’ she whispers.
Yeah. Enough. I want her all to myself now. This part of the game’s over. For the time being, anyway.
‘OK.’ I smile, and I kiss her again, and I already know that Kandi’s got up. She knows the signs, she gets it. Whatever it is she still has with Kira, she knows I have her now. But she can share, when I say she can. She gets her on my terms now.
I wait until I hear the door close before I pull back and look at Kira. Her face is flushed, her eyes shining and I still have to take a second to catch my breath. The whirlwind of emotions this woman has put me through are still utterly terrifying at times, but if I don’t feel them, every day, I’m dead again. She’s keeping me alive, and I need her, so fucking much.
‘Hey.’ I smile again, and she returns it, and her face lights up even more.
‘Hey back.’
I sit up and pull her over so she straddles me, drawing my legs up to cocoon her against me. ‘I love you, Kira. You know that, don’t you?’
She nods, her eyes searching my face, for what, I don’t know. ‘Yeah. I love you, too.’
And it’s a fucked-up love, I think we both know that. But it’s ours.
And whatever it takes, I’m not letting it go.
Thirteen
Kira
It’s early, but I can’t sleep. And I guess that addiction I developed back in Newcastle – when I spent those nights with Neal, and woke up every morning in a world of confusion and denial that meant I started most days before dawn – it’s still here. I can’t kick it. The sun isn’t yet up but I am. He’s still asleep, his beautiful eyes closed to the world, and I look at him. And I let my heart skip that beat and my stomach turn that somersault because he is everything to me now. But the shit we did last night…
I slide out of bed and pick his shirt up off the floor, pulling it on as I head out of the bedroom, through the living room and into the kitchen. This is another room that has an entire wall of floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city, and I stop for a second to look outside at a sky that’s now slowly lightening. Manhattan isn’t fully awake yet. I am.
I spoon coffee into the machine and switch it on before making myself a cup of tea. I’m English. I can’t shake that need for my first drink of the day to be tea. But he’ll want coffee, when he wakes up.
I take my mug and pull myself up onto the counter, blowing into the tea to cool it down as I look around me. It’s a strangely cosy kitchen, given its size. He hasn’t gone too contemporary with it either, which is surprising, given what he does. His art background. But it’s quite a dark kitchen, all black appliances and dark wood, with soft, under-cupboard lighting illuminating the grey-flecked marble work surfaces and countertops. There’s a large rectangular table in front of the window which is lit by a pull-down lamp that’s attached to the ceiling, and in the centre of the room is a square island. We’ve fucked on that island. And I shiver at the memory; of the cool marble against my naked skin, the edges of the countertop digging into me as he held me close and fucked me hard.
I take another sip of tea and look down into my mug, staring at the hot, dark liquid as memories of last night flood my brain. I don’t know how we got to that. How we arrived there. It just happened, and at the time it was the most incredible experience. I’d never felt so high, so turned-on; so fucking dirty. And I wanted every sordid, sick second, I did. I wanted it. I wanted him, and Kandi, at the same time. And he had me and Kandi, at the same time. It was a twisted mess, and we all got off on it. Just the thought of him between my legs, his tongue inside me while Kandi sucked on my tits… Just the thought of that is making my thighs tingle, it’s making me wet, and I put my tea aside and reach down to touch myself, closing my eyes as I remember him licking me, probing me; remember Kandi’s palm pressing hard against my breasts.
I pull my legs up and open them wide as my fingers begin to gently circle my clit, and I bite down on my lip as I press harder, and it takes just seconds to get there; for the climax to hit, and I place my hand flat against myself as I come in a barrage of rapid waves, my sighs quiet, but the relief is necessary.
‘I hate it when you do that without me.’
My eyes snap open and I see him, standing there in the doorway, dressed only jeans, his dark hair all just-got-out-of-bed-sexy-as-hell and all I can do is look at him, for a beat or two. No man should be that beautiful, but he is.
He walks over to me and takes hold of my ankles, pulling my legs around him.
‘You’ve gotta let me watch, baby,’ he murmurs, his mouth almost touching mine, so close his breath is falling into me. ‘You know I like to watch.’
My stomach clenches as he kisses me, his hands running up and down my thighs. I wanted time to think, to get my head around what happened last night, but he’s here now. He’s taken that time from me; he’s here. And he’s still the same man he was yesterday. I’m still the same woman. We just crossed another line, that’s all.
I close my eyes and hold him tight as he makes love to me, sighing quietly as he sinks deeper into me and I rock against him, buryi
ng my face in his hair as his fingers dig into my hips. It’s so easy for us, to flick that switch and go from sordid fucking to beautiful sex, just like that. We do it every day. And I like that that’s how we are; how we live. But something about last night is still making me feel a little uneasy.
And then I feel it start, that distraction, that delicious, slow tingle, and it climbs slowly at first, up my legs, across my thighs, until it explodes within me in gentle waves and I cling on to him. I like it here, in his arms; I like the normality, sometimes. But what scares me is that I prefer the twisted shit we do. Is that wrong? Because normality, it scares me, too. And I know why. I know why I back away from normality, why I can’t go there. But still, what we did last night…
‘Come back to bed,’ he whispers, his breathing slightly shallow as he rests his forehead against mine, his fingers fanning out in the small of my back, his thumb stroking the base of my spine.
Obsession (Forbidden #2) Page 11
