Strange Days (Bill of the Dead Book 1)

by Rick Gualtieri

  For most of our ... acquaintance, Gan had appeared as a twelve year old child, but that was nothing more than a facade. She was actually well over three hundred. Five years of normal aging had been kind to her, however. Gone was the cute little munchkin, and in her place stood someone who could’ve marched straight into any high school in America and taken over the top clique with a snap of her fingers. In short, she’d finally become the one thing she’d wanted more than anything: a woman. And hey, go figure. She’d ended up taller than Sally.

  Mind you, despite her appearance, I was still creeped out, and it had nothing to do with whether or not she was still jailbait.

  The Gan I’d known was batshit crazy, a remorseless murderer, and inexplicably head over heels in love with me. I had little doubt those labels still applied, but a small part of me had hoped she’d found a boyfriend in the last few years ... maybe some nice Goth kid who shared her disdain for humanity.

  “Beloved,” she purred, a predatory glint in her eyes.

  So much for that theory.

  She looked like she’d stepped straight out of a catalogue, wearing a casually cut summer dress – black with red and gold highlights. The illusion was only marred by a brief glimpse of yellow earrings beneath her hair. I didn’t need to ask to guess they were likely a certain square-pantsed cartoon character, one of her few obsessions aside from me and enslaving the world.

  I guess we all had to have hobbies.

  She glanced around, idly surveying the scene as I waited for the tirade that was certain to come. It was only a matter of time before Ed got over the shock and lost his shit over the fact he was staring at someone who should’ve been little more than a pile of dust deep beneath the Earth’s surface.

  Oh, yeah, I was gonna get an earful about this one.

  “From the condition of this apartment,” Gan said, her tone one of boredom. “I shall assume they’ve appropriated your whore.”

  And just like that it was five years earlier ... I was still the Freewill, she was the vampire prefect of China, and Ed was the poor sap she’d once tried to wash down a bowl of Apple Jacks with.

  Except it wasn’t. We’d changed, all of us. I needed to remember that.

  “I see you’ve lost some of the physical definition you once had,” she continued, undressing me with her eyes. “Excellent. I always preferred your more mundane appearance.”

  “I’ve been busy,” I replied with an uncomfortable shrug. “Haven’t gotten a chance to hit the gym lately.”

  “Are we really having this fucking conversation?” Ed snapped, finally joining the fray. “I mean, did I just cross over into the fucking bizarro universe?”

  Gan, for her part, smiled as she continued to address me. “I have always found it interesting that fate chose one of your cattle as Progenitor of our new race. For all the seers of the world, it would seem destiny occasionally likes to throw ... what is the phrase ... a curve ball.”

  Her English had improved, too. I barely detected an accent. But perhaps that was a discussion point for another time. “Why are you here, Gan, and what do you know?”

  Ed narrowed his gaze my way. “Is it me, or are you not nearly as surprised as you should be?”

  “Oh, I’m pretty damned surprised.”

  “Is that a fact? So then why aren’t you shitting your pants right now?”

  “Because I have the right amount of fiber in my diet ... and I might’ve sorta known she was ... alive.”

  “Do tell. And I’m just finding this out, why?”

  “You were busy being engaged.”

  “And what about everyone else, or were they busy, too?”

  “The Shining One is aware of my survival, as well as my intention to reclaim my beloved,” Gan explained, stepping past him and eyeing the sword in my hand.

  Ed turned to me. “Is that why she left?”

  Gan let out a small laugh. “Doubtful. I believe her shift in affections had more to do with regret over the part she played in decimating the Magi.”

  “Wait,” I said. “How do you know that?”

  “Is it not obvious? I’ve kept close watch upon your life.” She paused for a moment, a brief shadow of annoyance crossing her face. “At least until recently.”

  “Of course you did. Because why would a person’s privacy mean anything...”

  “Hold on,” Ed interrupted. “Let’s not skip past this. What changed?”

  “Um, yeah,” I added, glad to steer the discussion elsewhere. “What he said.”

  Gan held my gaze, all mirth gone from her eyes, making her truly look like the adult she’d always wanted to be. “It is because I became aware of an increasingly focused effort to reignite The Source.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  I had about a million questions, and I’m pretty sure Ed had an equal number of accusations. Before we could pummel each other with them, though, Gan, in that maddeningly disinterested voice of hers, suggested we relocate to a place that wasn’t currently an active crime scene.

  As much as I didn’t want to admit it, that made sense. There didn’t appear to be any clues left behind as to where Sally had been taken. But with Gan’s overly convenient reappearance, combined with her utter lack of surprise at what she’d seen, I had a feeling she could provide us with some of the insight we were lacking.

  Waiting outside, double parked at the curb, was an enormous black limo with diplomatic plates. Couldn’t say I was surprised. Gan was not only heir to her father’s fortune, but she’d also been the only survivor of the apocalypse with the means to capitalize on the vast wealth left behind by the vampire leadership.

  In short, she was fucking loaded. No wonder she’d been able to keep tabs on me. One didn’t need super powers when they were up to their eyeballs in cash.

  Gan offered us a ride in her ridiculously overblown vehicle, complete with a burly, no-necked driver, but I respectively declined, fearing she might toss Ed out at the first red light, leaving me trapped with her for some quality time. No, sir, I did not want that.

  I was still worried to all hell about Sally but fortunately calm enough to drive. That was good, because I didn’t think Ed was.

  “Spill,” he said once we’d shut the doors. “And don’t give me any bullshit because I am not in the mood.”

  “I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume you didn’t enjoy that little reunion back there.”

  “Let me put it this way. I’d be less upset had a Bigfoot walked in and shit on me.”

  Ah. Well, that definitely put some perspective to his current temperament.

  I brought him up to speed, telling him how Gan had approached Sheila and me two years ago after he’d already moved to California. The truth was we’d spent quite a few nights of our burgeoning relationship debating whether to let anyone else know. But, in the end, it had seemed a dangerous bit of knowledge to share. Gan might have been powerless, but the little nutbag had made it more than clear at the time that her homicidal tendencies were very much intact.

  That and I think we were both hoping our meetup with Gan had been a one-time thing, despite her assurances otherwise. Hell, I’d almost managed to convince myself it was little more than a shared hallucination ... fate’s way of giving Sheila and I the push we finally needed to become a couple, at least until she walked out on me.

  “You should have told us,” Ed said when I was finally finished.

  “I know.”

  “Especially once all of this weird shit started happening.”

  “Sorry, but I was hoping she wouldn’t show up.”

  “It’s not even that, moron,” he replied, looking at me from the passenger seat as if I were a base idiot. “Think about it. For the past couple of days we’ve been wracking our brains wondering where the hell these other vamps came from, when all along you had a clue.”

  “She didn’t make them.”

  “I know that, genius. But she survived, which should have been impossible. I guess your crazy theory about inert spirits is sta
rting to make more sense. I mean, hell, she’s three hundred goddamned years old yet looks eighteen.”

  “Seventeen,” I corrected.

  “Whatever the fuck. It’s not like I’m asking her out.” He shuddered as if considering how badly that would end for him. “The thing is, we’ve been wondering who created those vamps who showed up at your door, but maybe that’s not what we need to focus on.”

  “It isn’t?”

  “No. Maybe what we should be asking is whether this means others may have survived, too.”

  He was echoing what Sally had said when last I’d talked to her, something I’d tried very hard not to dwell on, perhaps stupidly so.

  Talk about an unpleasant thought. I’d met a lot of ancient vampires during my short tenure among the undead, most of whom hadn’t liked me – Calibra, Alexander the Great, the rest of the First Coven. I’d seen them all turn to dust, alongside my friend James, the one elder vamp whose death I regretted.

  But I saw now they had a point. What if Gan hadn’t been the one-off miracle – or curse – I’d assumed?

  We drove in silence for several more minutes, both of us no doubt contemplating the ramifications of this, until he finally asked, “So where are we heading?”

  “Huh?” That was a good question. Had Gan not shown up, I’d have said Christy’s. But not now. Those two had sort of hated each other back in the day. “My place.”

  “You do remember Dave’s there, right?”

  “Can’t be helped. None of the old safe houses exist anymore, I don’t have keys to the Office, and I sure as shit don’t want to take Gan anywhere Tina is.”

  “Probably a good idea.”

  “Tell me about it. Speaking of which, remember how she mentioned being too busy to spy on me lately?”

  “Hard to forget.”

  “Since she didn’t bring it up – and believe me, she would have – I’m going to assume she doesn’t know about me and Christy. I think it might be best if it stayed that way.”

  Gan had tolerated Sheila, offering her a modicum of respect as the Icon. But Christy was another matter entirely. Those two had started off trying to kill each other and had never quite gotten over it. Now, though, I had a feeling Gan would see our relationship as little more than an excuse to take up old habits. Keeping them apart probably wasn’t an option, but making sure certain things stayed on the down-low was probably wise.

  Ed, being no stranger to any of this, quickly nodded his agreement. “So what do we do?”

  “We can’t keep Christy out of the loop. She’s one of the few people with a clue as to what’s going on. I’ll text her and tell her to come by my place.” I glanced at the time. “Or maybe wait until she’s awake. Anyway, I’ll say that things have taken a turn for the worse and we’ll explain when we see her. Oh, and that she should find a sitter for Tina.”

  “You’re not going to tell her about Gan?”

  “Over the phone? Are you fucking crazy? She’s liable to show up with every hex she knows, and I don’t want that to happen until we’ve all had a chance to compare notes.”

  I was setting up a potentially explosive reunion between two enemies, with me smack dab in the middle. Not only that, but we still had to figure out a way to save Sally, wherever she might be.

  My God, it had been a long day and the sun wasn’t even up yet.

  Sadly, I had a feeling the next few hours weren’t going to be a walk in the park.

  BITTER REUNION

  We got back to my place just as the sky was starting to lighten, beating rush hour. It was a minor victory but I’d take it. The last thing I wanted was for the world to get ass fucked because we were stuck sitting on I-278.

  I walked over to Gan’s land yacht and asked if she’d be so good as to find another place to park it. I don’t know why, but it didn’t seem like a good idea to call extra attention to ourselves right then.

  If Gan had any misgivings, she didn’t show it. She simply commanded her driver as if he was little more than the cattle she used to refer to humans as. As a vampire, she’d tolerated nothing less than complete obedience from her servants. Human or not, I got the impression nothing had changed in that regards.

  As we walked up to my floor, she said, “I do so miss visiting you here, my darling. I find it ... quaint that you’ve remained in this wretched domicile.”

  “There’s a lot of memories here,” I commented dryly.

  “They must be truly special to abide such a place. I have dozens of properties across the globe and none of them manage to produce an odor as unique as this one.”

  Ed snickered from somewhere below.

  “Yuck it up, asshole. You used to live here.”

  “Perhaps better living arrangements can be arranged for you, Dr. Death.”

  Desperately trying to ignore what she was implying, I replied, “Don’t call me that. It’s not who I am anymore.”

  “I disagree,” she said with smug surety.

  “That was the name of the monster inside of me. He’s gone now.”

  “No, my dearest. It is a name you and you alone earned. It is who you are and who you shall forever be.”

  I could practically feel her breathing down the back of my neck as we got to my apartment door. Sadly, I didn’t have nearly enough alcohol on hand to erase the memory of her existence. On the flipside, blacking out piss-drunk in her presence probably wasn’t a great idea to begin with.

  I reached for my key and considered Dave. I hadn’t wanted to drag him back into this. He wasn’t a part of things this time around. There was also the fact that I really didn’t want him pestering people for blood samples again. I had enough shit on my plate already.

  Sadly, I was low on options. If only Sally had hung onto more of our old safe houses. It would have provided a neutral location for us to deal with this crap.

  But why would she have? Who would have guessed this would be happening? More importantly, who would have guessed it would be happening to us – me – again? It was like I was living out a shitty movie sequel. Kinda made me wish they’d killed off my character in the first one.

  Anyway, hindsight is twenty-twenty, I suppose.

  This was the hand I’d been dealt and I couldn’t afford to ask for new cards. Sally’s life was likely on the line. Who knew what would happen to her if we failed to act ... or who might be next?

  At least in my own apartment I had some modicum of control. I could hopefully ease everyone into the situation, whether it was the fact that Sally had been kidnapped or Gan was alive.

  Yeah, I considered as I pushed open the door, I could control the narrative here. There would be no surprises to...

  “Dude, where the fuck have you been?” the semi-transparent form of Tom asked from right in front of me as I stepped in.

  “Jesus! What the fuck?!”

  He laughed at my surprise. “Pussy out much?”

  “What are you doing here?” I cried.

  However, even as I asked the question, I could see he wasn’t alone. Christy was sitting on the couch. Oh yeah, she had a key. I probably should have remembered that.

  Next to her sat ... oh crap, what was his name? Vincent something-or-other. He was a former Knight Templar, a group of holy rollers who’d done nothing but give me grief back in the day. Now he was retired from that life, happily married to a witch of all people – Kelly, one of Christy’s coven sisters.

  Guess that’s who she’d called in to help out, which was cool by me. I liked Kelly. The only reason I didn’t hang out with her more was because she’d been tight with Sheila which, of course, made things a bit awkward since the breakup. I glanced around, not seeing her immediately, but maybe she was in the...

  Hold on.

  My addled brain had somehow glossed over the fact that Tom was both here and visible. Since I wasn’t busy keeling over at the moment, that had to mean Christy had been successful in whatever mojo she’d worked.

  Um, it also apparently meant Dave was aware of this
, too, because he was sitting in the love seat, looking like he’d gotten way too little sleep to be cheered up by this revelation. But he could wait for now.

  I looked at Tom, then back toward Christy. “How did you...”

  Sadly, all of this had caught me completely by surprise, enough to make me momentarily forget that I hadn’t returned to my apartment alone.

  “Dude!” Tom admonished, stepping past me. “It’s bad enough you gotta dip your wick where it don’t belong, but now you’ve got a side piece, too?” He covered one side of his face with a spectral hand, shielding it from Christy’s view and mouthed, “High five”.

  Fucking idiot.

  If his reaction to seeing a now grown Gan was ... disturbing at best, Christy’s was somewhat less welcoming. She stood up, her eyes narrowing. “It’s not possible.”

  Gan, for her part, sauntered past me like she owned the place. She gave Tom the barest of glimpses, hardly raising an eyebrow, before facing Christy. “Few things are impossible, witch. I would think one such as yourself would be well versed in such matters.”

  So much for controlling the narrative.

  Those two – oil and water on good days – approached each other. But then Dave stood up and slipped between them, extending a hand toward Gan.

  “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Dr. Cheng, and you look like someone who’d benefit from...”

  “Don’t,” I warned, too late.

  Faster than my former DM could finish his sales pitch, Gan grabbed his hand, twisted, and flipped him onto the hard floor. “We have previously met, and I remain unimpressed,” she said. “Try to touch me again and my response will be considerably less generous.”

  Less generous?

  With Dave out of the way, Christy and Gan stood facing each other.

  Christy eyed her up. “You’ve gotten ... taller.”

  “And you have gotten older,” Gan shot back. Ooh, burn!

  “Wiser, too.”

  “You would need several more lifetimes to match the breadth of my knowledge.”

  Okay, this had potential to get ugly. I stepped forward, but Tom put a hand on my arm, or tried to. All I got was a weird staticky feeling as his hand passed through me. “Dude, chick fight.”