Rake's Redemption (Wind Dragons Motorcycle Club)

by Chantal Fernando

  He’s the same . . . but completely different.

  I don’t know how to explain my emotions right now, because they’re all rushing at me, pulling me in different directions.

  Over the years, I’d planned out what I wanted to say to him if I ever saw him again, but now that I’m here, I have nothing. I want to yell; I want to rage; I want to cry. I want to ask him if he’s happy.

  He’s even more beautiful than I remember, but now it’s in a deadly way.

  Just looking into his eyes, I can tell he lives his life in murky shades of gray.

  I notice a piercing in his lip that wasn’t there before, another in his eyebrow. They both suit him. I also see tattoos peeking out from under his vest. When he was mine, his skin was ink-free.

  “I’m going to get your name, right here,” he says, pointing to his heart. “I’ll get it done when we’re married.”

  I place my hand where the future tattoo will go. “I like that, Adam. Maybe I’ll get your name written on my ring finger, because, unlike a ring, that can never come off.”

  I close my eyes and bring myself back to the present. I never expected or wanted to see Adam again, and now that I have, I need to try to calm my emotions, keep them locked away. The past has no place in the present, or in my future. Adam and I need to stay in the past, but I know it’s not as simple as that. He was my first and only love, and that’s not something one forgets. He also hurt me more than any other person has, more than any person could. I don’t know what to say right now. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want him to hold me.

  Not surprisingly, I look down to see him zipping up his jeans, and a beautiful woman curling into his side.

  Women always flocked to Adam. But once upon a time, this man was mine.

  My everything.

  And now? Now he’s just a stranger.

  I look at the woman by his side, my emotions all over the place. “I see some things don’t change.”

  The air thickens, uncomfortably so, but the two of us are locked in a silent battle, having conversations with our eyes.

  “Should we go into—” Lana tries to defuse the tension, but Adam cuts her off.

  “Anna, you and Lana go inside. Bailey and I need to talk.”

  So much has already been said between us with no words used, I wonder what he could want to actually talk about. “What about me?” his woman snaps. “I just had your dick in my mouth and now you want to talk to this bitch?”

  Bitch? I was the first woman to have Adam’s cock in her mouth! I cringe at my own thoughts. I’m seriously glad no one else can hear them.

  Anna grabs Lana by her arm. “Let’s give them some privacy.”

  I silently plead with them to stay, but they won’t even look in my direction. Yeah, no help there. I watch them disappear into the VIP room, then send my dirtiest look in Adam’s direction, but he’s not even looking at me. He’s trying to get rid of the woman who is still pasted against him.

  “Go,” he demands, tone cold. “Don’t make me have to tell you again, because I won’t be so nice the next time.”

  She storms away, shaking her ass so much I’m surprised her hips don’t dislocate. She does have a nice ass though.

  Bitch.

  He turns to me and we continue our silent conversation. His eyes say, I can fuck whoever I want. While mine say, Perhaps you should grow some fucking standards.

  Now that Adam and I are finally alone, I kind of wish she would come back.

  Desperate times, apparently.

  “Now, what the fuck are you doing in my club?” he growls, stepping closer to me.

  His club?

  Shit.

  “You own this club?” I ask, eyebrows rising.

  How fucking unlucky am I? Is this the only club he owns? Because that would be pretty damn unlucky. Then again, good luck and I have never really mixed. “Heartbeat” by Childish Gambino starts to play, but I can’t even enjoy the song under Adam’s intense stare.

  “I do,” he replies slowly, taking me in from head to toe in a painfully slow inspection that has me feeling a little self-conscious.

  “Okay,” I say, looking around. To the left, to the right. Behind him. Anywhere but into his eyes. I don’t know the man standing before me, and while a small part of me wants to run into his arms, the rest of me wants to slap him across the face.

  “Who are you here with?” he asks, making my gaze reluctantly meet his once more.

  “A friend,” I say.

  “Where is this friend?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

  I shrug, feeling a little sheepish. “Around here somewhere.”

  I said I was with a friend, not a good friend. Trust me, there’s a difference.

  He nods his head, his lips as tight as I’ve ever seen them. “You gonna come back here?”

  I shake my head. “Definitely not.”

  He scrubs a hand down his face. “Good. Unless you want to fuck, you know, for old times’ sake?”

  Is he serious right now? Did I want to fuck for old times’ sake?

  I grit my teeth and count to ten in my head. If he wants to unsettle me, he’s sure doing a good job of it.

  I actually contemplate slapping him, but no, that won’t help the situation. Best not to let him know how much his words affect me. I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how just seeing him again makes my soul whimper in pain.

  I force out a humorless laugh. “I do want to fuck,” I say, licking my lips. His eyes widen, surprised at my words. I take a step closer. “Anyone except you, Adam.”

  “It’s Rake,” he says, expression now blank. “No one calls me Adam anymore. And to tell you the truth, my name on your lips is just pissing me the fuck off.”

  “Right,” I mutter, looking at my feet before back up at him. “Well, Rake. Please tell Anna and Lana I said ’bye.”

  He scowls. “Stay away from them, Bailey. I don’t want you to have anything to do with me or anyone I care about. You’re nothing to me anymore. You haven’t been for a long-ass time. Now get the fuck out of my club.”

  The last line of the song plays, the words lingering between us.

  They hurt.

  The past hurts.

  Everything fucking hurts.

  The last thing I need is to open those old wounds. I worked so hard at burying everything, at moving on. Apparently all it takes is one look at his face to bring every pain back.

  So I turn and leave.

  He isn’t worth it.

  Rake

  I watch her walk away from me, my chest feeling constricted—so tight it hurts to breathe. Seeing her again here, of all places, really has me feeling off-fuckin’-kilter. I rub the back of my neck, staring at the spot where she was just standing.

  Fuck.

  I’m not him. I’m not the boy whose heart she broke, not anymore. I shouldn’t be feeling anything when I see her. It’s been years, but it feels like Bailey is still mine. She still looks good—I’ll give her that. Her brown hair still looks fuckin’ soft and I know it would have smelled good too. Her brown eyes can still peer into my fuckin’ soul.

  I can’t see her again.

  She’s nothing to me. I must be feeling like this because of the surprise of seeing her again. That’s all. Yeah, she has no hold over me.

  None.

  Fuck, I need a smoke, even though I quit.

  “She’s pretty,” I hear Tracker say from behind, placing his hand on my shoulder for a second before removing it. “Lana seems fond of her. We gonna have any trouble with her?”

  “No,” I growl instantly. “No trouble.” I turn to look at my brother. “And only I deal with her, all right? No one else goes near her.”

  She’s my burden to bear. The walking example of what happens when you let a woman get close to you. My own personal walking lesson.

  “You want me to call Kira back?”

  “Who?” I ask Tracker distractedly.

  He barks out a laugh and shakes h
is head. “Never mind.”

  Bailey is back.

  And my guard is up higher than motherfuckin’ ever.

  TWO

  Two months later

  Bailey

  HE said what?” Tia gasps, then giggles.

  I take a small sip of my coffee and hesitantly repeat, “He said that one of my boobs was the size of his head.”

  She laughs harder, clutching her chest, her blond hair framing her oval face like a curtain. “Men these days. How hilarious are they? And by hilarious I mean stupid.”

  I giggle at that. “Right? I think I’ve had enough dating to last me a lifetime.”

  “You went on two dates after the whole Trevor fiasco,” Tia points out with a smirk. “And one ended between the sheets.”

  I groan and put my coffee down on the table. “Please, don’t remind me.” I pause. “At least none of them had a foot fetish.”

  “I don’t think he meant the boob thing as an insult,” she continues, blue eyes wide on me. “It would have been a compliment. He was merely making an observation. You do have huge boobs.”

  I look down at the boobs in question. “Yeah, but he should enjoy them, not compare the size to his head! Maybe his head is just really small.”

  Tia’s shoulders shake, and she wipes her eyes, which are starting to water. She always cries when she laughs. “The sex couldn’t have been that bad!”

  I cover my face with my hands, not wanting to relive it. “It was horrible. He kept calling my . . . my . . .”

  “Your what?” Tia asks, leaning closer to me. I point downward to my crotch. “Your pussy?” she supplies casually.

  I nod.

  “What was he calling it?” she asks, sounding both curious and on the verge of laughter.

  I groan, yeah I’m not going to say that word out loud. “The c-word.”

  Tia grins, slamming her hand down on my dining table. “A cu—”

  “Yes,” I say, cutting her off. “That.”

  “A little dirty talk never hurt anyone,” she huffs, lifting her mug to her lips, hiding her smirk.

  “There is something seriously wrong with you,” I tell my neighbor. I moved next door to Tia over a year ago. We became fast friends, and so did our children. My daughter, Cara, and her son, Rhett, are almost the same age and spend a fair bit of time together; we take turns having each other over for meals and company. We became family in such a short time, and I love them both to death.

  “I’m all for the dirty talk,” I agree. “But that word? Yeah, no. Why can’t he just say pussy like a normal dirty-talking man?” Even the word pussy sounds foreign on my tongue. Before I became friends with Tia, I never really spoke about my sex life.

  When he told me he loved fucking my c-word, I kind of wished I was anywhere except under him.

  “Did he make you come, at least?” she asks, not shy at all.

  “When did the two of us lose our boundaries?” I ask myself, staring at the ceiling for a second.

  “Probably when you walked in on me having sex with—”

  “Oh god, don’t make me relive it!” I shriek, cutting off the rest of her sentence. I’d once come over to her house to find the door unlocked. Panicked, thinking someone had broken in, or something was wrong, I ran into the house while dialing the police, only to find her riding some guy. It was awkward. She didn’t think so, but I did and still do.

  “Bailey,” she says in a serious tone. “You’re a catch. A great woman. The best. And a fucking babe. If you can’t find a good man, what chance do the rest of us have?”

  I smile sadly. “Maybe not all of us are meant to be with someone. I have a house. A job. A beautiful, healthy daughter. If that’s all I get in life, I’ll be happy with it.”

  “Bullshit,” Tia says, narrowing her blue eyes. “You’ll find someone, when the time is right. Someone who isn’t a creep like Trevor.”

  Yeah, I sure know how to pick them. Tia knows a few things about Adam, but not the whole story. No one knows the whole story except me.

  I push my dark hair back behind my ear and mutter, “I won’t hold my breath.”

  Cara and Rhett run into the kitchen, saving me from Tia’s attempt at a motivational speech.

  “You two finished playing games?” I ask my daughter, hugging her as she runs into my arms, her brown hair flailing around.

  “Yeah,” she says, her big brown eyes glancing up at me. “Can we go play outside now?”

  I nod. “Yeah, okay. How about a snack first?”

  “Yes, please!” Rhett calls out, always hungry. His blond hair falls over his forehead, his blue eyes identical to Tia’s peer up at me in excitement.

  “Okay,” I tell him. “Wash your hands while I fix you both something.”

  They wash their hands and wait patiently at the table while I make them some fruit salad, and pull out some Jell-O from the fridge to go with it.

  “Thanks, Mom!” Cara says, picking up her fork and stabbing a piece of watermelon.

  “Thanks, Aunt Bailey,” Rhett says, doing the same. I always get a little emotional when he calls me Aunt, even though we aren’t blood related. Tia says I’m more family to them than their own family, and that I’ve done more for Rhett than his real aunts, so I’ve earned the title.

  I share a glance with her. Here we are, both single mothers, doing the best we can, but even I have to admit we both have great children.

  Tia smiles, reading my thoughts. “We’ve done well, haven’t we?”

  Cara looks up at me and grins before returning her concentration to the food.

  “Yeah, we did.”

  * * *

  The last place I ever thought I’d see Lana and Anna again is the school I teach at, so when I hear them both calling my name, I turn around with my mouth open in shock.

  “What are the two of you doing here?” I ask, hugging Anna, then Lana.

  “We’re here for Clover,” Lana replies, then points to a cute dark-haired girl in the crowd.

  “She’s gorgeous. Neither of you mentioned having a child!”

  But then again, neither had I.

  Anna’s green eyes widen. “Oh, she isn’t ours. She’s Sin and Faye’s daughter. Friends of ours.”

  “Oh,” I say, putting the pieces together. “You’re here to watch her race?”

  Today was Field Day, and other schools were here to compete. The younger children came to play team games and have a friendly race or two.

  Anna nods. “Yeah, we all came out to cheer for her. It’s her first race. She’s so excited, you should see her.”

  Lana looks down at her shoes and shuffles them in the grass. “Why didn’t you call us after we saw you at Rift? We thought we’d all have caught up by now.”

  My mind races with how to handle this. I don’t want to tell them the truth, but I don’t want them to think I don’t want to see them either. “I didn’t have your number.”

  With social media, it was a lame excuse at best, but Anna’s eyes narrow. “Rake said he gave you my number.”

  Well, fuck.

  That bastard!

  “Well, he didn’t,” I tell her. “Look, girls, the truth is, I’d love to hang out with you both, but I don’t want to see Adam. There’s too much history there, and to be honest, I don’t even want to be around him. Trust me when I say the feeling is mutual.”

  Anna crosses her arms over her chest. “Who says Rake has to be there? We can have ladies’ nights; he can do his own thing. It’s not like he told us to stay away from you.”

  Now it’s my turn to look down at my feet, as though they suddenly became interesting.

  “What the fuck?” Anna growls, her hands falling loose and clenching. “He didn’t?!”

  Even Lana looks surprised. “He doesn’t want you around that badly? Damn. That doesn’t sound like Rake at all. He’s normally pretty easygoing.”

  “Not around me,” I grumble. “He told me he didn’t want me around the two of you. You’re his sister, Anna—unfort
unately he got you in the breakup. I can’t go against his wishes, because if he finds out, he’s going to be in my face and that’s the last thing I want. I never want to see him again if I can manage it.”

  Lana and Anna share a speculative glance.

  “What?” I ask, dragging out the word.

  Anna grins, her eyes lighting up. “Rake’s going on a run next weekend. He’ll be gone for a few days. We can catch up for a drink or two. He won’t find out; it’ll be fine.”

  “Famous last words,” I say with an exaggerated sigh, even though all three of us knew damn well I was going to go out with them. “Is he here to watch Clover?”

  They both shake their heads, but Anna answers. “Nah, Sin and Tracker are here. The rest of the men had shit to do.”

  I look behind the girls and see Tracker sitting on the hood of a black four-wheel drive. Next to him is a man with dark hair. His arm is around a woman who is waving her hands in the air in Clover’s direction. The two men are wearing the vest things I’ve seen bikers wear, and both look extremely imposing.

  In fact, all the other parents have given them a wide berth.

  Lana pulls out her phone and hands it to me. “Give us your number.”

  I put my number in and save it. “I guess he’s going to find out you two saw me here today anyway.”

  “Can I ask you something?” Anna says, a serious expression on her pretty face. I already know what she’s going to ask, but I nod my head anyway.

  “What happened between the two of you? You were the best couple. I’ve never seen young love like that in my life. Everyone thought you’d get married.”

  So did I, but life doesn’t always turn out how you expect it.

  I lick my suddenly dry lips. A few words flow through my mind.

  Utter devastation.

  Heartbreak.

  Tragedy.

  Pain.

  A lot of fucking pain.

  “I guess it just didn’t work out,” I tell them, shrugging simply. Understatement of the fucking year.

  THREE