“I’ve never had a greeting like that.” I sucked on my lower lip to hide my smile.
He released my legs and placed me on the ground in front of him. “I'm sorry.” His hands grazed across my cheek. “I can't help myself when I'm around you.”
I rose on my tip toes and kissed his lips again. Running my hands inside his jacket, I laced them around his waist. My head rested on his chest and I felt his rapid heartbeat. “I've missed this,” I whispered.
“I'm sorry.” He sighed and I shook my head to stop him.
“I don't want you to apologize. I don't want to think about Julian, Delaney, or the past ten years. I want to be here, with you, in this moment. Just me and you.” I looked up at him and smiled.
“I love you, Brielle.” His eyes were bright, and small crow’s feet spread from them as the most delectable smile greeted his face.
“Back at you, Nathaniel.”
Nate discarded his suit jacket and linked his hand with mine as he brought me further into the room. A large king-sized bed with a white duvet comforter dominated the room. The television sat on a large dresser, and in the corner near the large window was a tray of crudités and fresh fruit with a bucket of ice, champagne, and two glasses.
“I didn't know if you'd be hungry. We can order room service if you'd like.”
“No.” I walked over to the tray and grabbed a strawberry before I turned back toward him. “This is perfect. Romantic, even.”
“You deserve nothing but the best.”
I loved this man. I desperately needed him. It wasn’t an infatuation or a first love that never died. There were times I felt I couldn't breathe unless he was with me. I was okay with sharing him with her. I knew that was insane, but it also meant I got some part of him, even if it was a fragment, and that was better than nothing at all.
I’d take the hidden moments.
The glances across the room.
The sneaking off to hotels in the middle of the day.
I’d take it all if it meant I got to spend a few hours with him. If it meant he was back in my life.
I should have felt guilty, but there was no guilt inside me. Not when I was with him. For those few hours he was mine and everything around us didn't exist.
I took a flute of champagne and handed it to him, then turned back to grab the other. “Cheers.” I raised my glass to his. I tried to smile, but it was impossible when his eyes were looking at me as though he was a hunter and I was the prey.
Nate stretched his hand out for me and I went willingly. No words were spoken as he pulled me closer. My arms laced around his neck, and he buried his face in the crook of my neck. His lips grazed down my shoulder, his fingers gently tugging my shirt and exposing my bare skin. With each passing second, I grew wetter with need.
The wait was antagonizing.
Slowly I moved to the bed, Nate following every step I took. Sitting on the bed, I kicked my sandals off.
Nate's mouth and hands were all over my body. He was familiarizing himself with what had always been his.
I felt loved.
Beautiful.
Wanted.
Feelings that had been taken away from me years ago.
He tugged my shirt off, then kissed down one breast as one hand reached behind me and unhooked my bra. My heavy breasts were under his lips. My nipples pebbled at his touch.
I whimpered.
He growled.
Never pulling my gaze from his, I unbuttoned his shirt, undid his tie, and ran my fingertips along his soft skin.
“Lie back,” he said against my lips.
My hair fanned across the goose feather pillow, and Nate kneeled before me. He tugged on my shorts and slid them down my legs. Tossing them behind him, he ran his hands up my legs, and I arched my back in desperation. My breathing grew rapid. I didn’t know how much longer I could wait for him to be inside me. His lips grazed my skin, and his scruff tickled my thighs. My legs opened for him, and Nate gently kissed around the lace material of my thong.
“Oh, God,” I moaned when his tongue slid along my core. “Please,” I begged.
“Shh,” Nate whispered against my clit and I felt my body would explode. “I refuse to rush this. It doesn’t matter how much this pains me to take it slow. I plan to make every minute count.”
I gnawed my lower lip, both excited and scared for what was about to happen.
Entwining his fingers around my thong, he dragged it down my legs, his eyes never leaving mine. “You’re everything I ever wanted,” he muttered.
Nate kissed the curve of my knee, up my thigh, and up to the soft skin where my legs joined my body. Unable to wait any longer, I threw my head back and anticipated his tongue on the one place I needed him most. Ever so gently, Nate licked the tip of my clit, and I gasped for air.
He licked it again.
Again.
And again.
Each time I felt my toes curl with pleasure. Each time he caused another wave of ecstasy to course through my body. It was an electrical current feeding me with desire.
“Please . . . Don’t . . . Oh . . . God . . .”
Nate’s fingertips dug into my thighs as I came with passion.
My body shook. I wanted to scream, cry, laugh. Fully sated, I moaned his name louder with each shock.
“Hmm,” he hummed against my swollen bud.
I opened my eyes and pulled him toward me, my lips landing on the wet corner and my tongue licked off my arousal.
“That’s a half kiss.”
Nate smiled against my lips before claiming my mouth with his. My hungry hands undid his pants and exposed his hard cock. I stroked it gently. I wanted to taste him, but when I went to move, Nate stopped me.
“You do that and I won’t last two minutes.”
I giggled but stopped when he stood and discarded the remainder of his clothes. He was fucking perfect.
Taut.
Lean.
Rock fucking hard.
“How do you want me?” My voice was barely a whisper.
“Turn around.” He pointed to the mirror on the opposite wall. “I want to see your face when you come again.”
I quickly obliged.
Kneeling on the bed, I lay my head flat on the duvet. Nate ran his fingers down my spine. Every move was slow and calculated.
Antagonizing.
Unforgettable.
He lined his cock at my entrance and rubbed his head on my soaked core. Slowly, I lifted my hips and pushed against his shaft. I whimpered as he pushed further, sinking deep inside me as he held my waist. It was everything.
Perfection.
Nate pulled out slowly before burying himself again, deep inside me. I moaned every time he sank deeper. Gradually he picked up his pace until he was slamming into me. His hands gripped my waist as he drove harder.
Dominating.
Possessive.
He was claiming what had always been his.
“Tell me,” he grunted.
My pending orgasm was building stronger with each thrust.
Moaning a soft pleasurable cry, I managed to breathe out one word. “Yours,” I said softly. “All yours,” I whimpered. “Only yours.”
“Mine,” he growled and reached around me. His finger rubbed against my clit, and it was all I needed.
Nate was everything to me.
His touch was my fix.
And I'd become an addict who spent her weekend on a binge, followed by rehab. Because I knew he wasn't mine. I was on borrowed time, and when this was all over, he'd be gone.
There was no escaping that this ecstasy would soon be followed by unbearable pain.
Sooner rather than later, I would be forced to return to reality.
Chapter 33
Brielle
One night with Nate wasn't enough. I needed more than a few hours. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms and wake up entwined with him.
I wanted a lifetime.
The following morning, I was sitting in the diner, my gaze lost i
n the memories of the previous night. It was early still, but the breakfast rush had left. The other waiters chatted about the previous shift while I distracted myself with refilling the ketchup bottles. I didn’t want to join in their conversations. Not when I couldn't hide the smile on my face.
My phone buzzed in my apron, and my smile grew wider when I noticed his code name on the screen.
Nicole: Good morning.
Me: Hi.
Nicole: How are you?
Me: Fine. Missing you.
Nicole: Tell me.
Me: I love you.
Nicole: I need to be with you again.
Me: I know.
Nicole: I want a weekend with you.
Me: That would be a dream.
Nicole: Can you visit your mom? Alone?
I gnawed my lips, wondering how I’d pull that off. My mother resided in an assisted living home in Florida. Julian and I used to visit her yearly, until he started working for Dennis.
Me: Maybe. I don't see why not. But what will you tell Delaney?
Nicole: I have a conference in Houston for eight days the second week of September.
Me: My mother is in Ft. Lauderdale.
Nicole: Leave it to me. Just have Julian agree that you're going alone, and I'll do the rest.
Later that night, I made sure to call my mother just as I arrived home. She was explaining to me how she had won Bingo night three weeks in a row.
“That's great, Mom,” I said as I hung my key on the hook near the door.
“Betty Ann will be picking me up soon,” she said slowly.
“Okay. I'll call you tomorrow so you can tell me if you won.” I walked over to the couch where Julian was sitting and kissed his lips. Most of the time I kissed his cheek as I greeted him. His eyes pulled away from the TV and glanced up at me.
“Okay, take care, sweetie. I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Mom.”
“Give a kiss to Julian for me.”
“He sends his love. Bye.” I tossed the phone on the coffee table and tucked my feet on the couch.
“How's your mom doing?” Julian asked.
“She's good. I miss her like crazy sometimes.”
Julian rested his hand on my lap, but his gaze was focused on the television.
“Do you have any vacation days?” I asked nonchalantly.
“Not really since I just started.”
I sighed. “Right. Maybe in a few months.”
I had planted the seed.
Labor day weekend, Delaney, Nate, and Caleb drove out to her parents’ house in Savannah for the weekend. At first, Nate was hesitant and didn’t want to go, but I persuaded him. If he played the part of a happy husband, Delaney wouldn’t think anything strange was going on. It was horrible that we both lived this way. Lying to the ones we were supposed to love the most in order to keep them away from what we were really doing. Plus, it gave me a chance to convince Julian that I should go see my mother.
Saturday morning, Julian awoke to find me on the couch. My hands were wrapped around a coffee mug, and my gaze was lost on the area rug. When he walked past me, I sighed.
“Morning,” he greeted me.
“Hey.” My voice was low.
“What’s the matter, Brie?” Julian grabbed the remote and turned on the television.
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure?” He looked over at me. “Did I do something wrong?”
“I’m fine.” I took a sip of my coffee. “I was just thinking about my mom. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her.”
“We can go for Thanksgiving.”
“Yeah.” I nodded slowly. “That’s not until November, though.”
“Can you take time off from work?” he asked and I nodded. “Why don’t you fly down and see her?”
It was wrong that I had coerced my husband this way, and it was horrible that I planned to actually spend that time with Nate, but I’d stopped caring a long time ago what was right or wrong. I was living for me. And Nate brought me joy.
“You’d be okay with that?”
“Sure.” He threw his arm around my neck and pulled me closer to him. “I’m busy with work now anyway.”
I knew from Nate that was a lie, but I suspected Julian had found someone to keep him busy at work.
When Julian focused his attention back on the television, I snuck out of the living room and into the bathroom. I pulled my cell phone out of my back pocket, and I let the water run in the sink as I sent Nate a text message.
Me: Yo.
It was our code word in the event Delaney was nearby.
Nicole: Hi, babe.
He replied right away and a smile grew on my face.
Me: I talked to Julian. I’m going to see my mom. We’ll talk more about it when you get home.
Nicole: I get to spend a weekend with you?
Me: Yes.
Nicole: I’m going to devour you.
Me: Behave! We’ll talk when you get back.
I deleted his messages like I had done every time we texted and slid my phone in my back pocket. I was really doing this. A whole weekend when Nate and I didn’t have to worry about anyone interrupting us.
I kissed Julian good-bye and hopped on a plane to Ft. Lauderdale. My heart raced as I waved to him from the security check-in line. Nate had spent the previous week in Houston and promised me he would meet me at the hotel. My flight from Charlotte was a little over an hour, and once I arrived and checked in at the hotel, I took a cab to my mother’s facility.
My heart broke into a million pieces when I spotted her sitting outside in the picnic area. She was with a few other members, and playing cards were scattered around the small table. I followed the nurse who brought me to them.
“Ms. Hansen, your daughter is here to see you.”
My mother lowered her cards, and a smile broke out on her face. “Oh, my sweet baby girl.” Her hands clapped together.
My eyes swelled with tears, and I dropped down to give her a hug. “Hi, Mom.” When my mother had her stroke, her left side remained paralyzed. She couldn’t walk for long periods without a walker, and she couldn’t raise her arm above her head. There were bigger challenges with getting her the help she needed financially, but she was still here with me.
We made our way to the cafeteria, and she proudly showed me off to some friends along the way. Once we sat at the table, she looked at me, her eyebrows furrowed.
“What’s going on?” she asked. Call it mother’s intuition, but my mother was able to read me like a book. “Something seems different about you. Are you and Julian having issues?”
I chuckled to keep myself from crying. “Everything is fine, Mom.”
“You’re a bad liar.”
“You have enough to deal with.”
“Sweetie, I sleep till ten, I watch TV, play cards with the ladies, try to do some aerobics to help with my arm, and I play bingo once a week.” My mother crossed her arms at the table. “I don’t have anything to deal with. You made sure my life was as peaceful as possible. Now, tell your mother what’s the matter.”
I smiled. “Seriously, Mom. Everything is fine.”
My mother reached out and grasped my hand. “I know you hide things because you think it will hurt me, but I’m your mother. I made you and therefore I know you. And if you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. But if there is one piece of advice I want you to take away, it’s that life is short. Days will turn into months, and months will turn into years. Don’t let years pass you by before you look back and realize you never knew what happiness was. If I could go back and change things, I would kick your father to the curb and focus solely on you.”
I brushed a tear away and leaned forward to kiss my mother on the cheek. “I love you, Mom.”
She held a hand to my face and cupped my cheek. “Whatever is going on, make sure you’re happy. If not, then what’s the point?”
Julian would never be the man who made me truly happy. We were both forced to g
row up too quickly, and I believed we both resented one another because of it. But Julian was getting the help he needed, and once I was sure he wouldn’t relapse, I’d ask him for a divorce.
It was time for both of us to move on.
Later that night, I was back in the hotel at the Hyatt waiting for Nate to call. He had flown to Houston as originally planned for work and then caught a flight to Ft. Lauderdale. I spent most of the night pacing the room as I awaited his arrival.
The soft tap on the door caused me to jump. I tightened the robe around my waist and rushed to answer. Pulling the door back, I hid behind it to let Nate in.
“Hi.” I smiled as I shut the door.
Parking his rolling suitcase and dropping his small duffle bag to the floor, he closed the gap between us. His mouth claimed mine, and I moaned in ecstasy. Nate kissed my lips, my cheeks, my neck.
“This doesn’t seem real,” he muttered as he hugged me tightly.
“It’s real. Even if it’s only for forty-eight hours. It’s just us.”
I pushed Nate further into the room. When the backs of his knees hit the bed, I tapped on his chest. “Sit,” I demanded.
His eyes scanned me head to toe and stopped when he noticed me tugging on the sash to my robe. I slid the soft material off my shoulders, exposing the lace lingerie I had picked up for this weekend.
“Fuck,” he grunted.
“You like?” I twirled around slowly.
“Come here.” Nate reached out for me.
I shook my head slowly. “There’s no need to rush.” I dropped to my knees before him. “Plus, there’s something I’ve been craving.”
“Brielle, you’re not . . .”
I nodded readily, hungry for him. I unbuttoned his jeans and stroked his cock. It hardened at my touch. Seductively, I licked my lips and brought my mouth to the turgid tip, the skin soft on my warm, wet tongue. From the corner of my eye, I saw Nate clench the comforter. My tongue massaged him as he slid in and out. I took him deeper with each stroke. I held his base and pulled him out, rotating my tongue around his head as I sucked my saliva off his silky skin.
“Holy fuck, Brielle,” he moaned.
Looking up at him, I sucked in his shaft as deep as it would go. He hit the back of my throat, and my muscles contracted. My fingernails dug into his thighs. Nate brushed my hair to the side and moaned how beautiful I looked. His breath grew quicker, and I knew he was close, so I sucked harder.
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